the Top Ten thread

The Gashlycrumb Tinies
The Willowdale Handcar
The Awdrey-Gore Legacy
The Sopping Thursday
The Glorious Nosebleed
The Unstrung Harp
The Blue Aspic
The Deranged Cousins
The Loathsome Couple
...and of course The Curious Sofa

10. Pitbull #2
9. Roadkill
8. Super Crazy
7. Steve Corino
6. Joey Styles
5. Joel Gertner
4. Balls Mahoney
3. Spike Dudley
2. New Jack
1. Tommy Dreamer

1. dirigible
2. discombobulated
3. mung
4. edutainment
5. smite
6. amalgam
7. pants
8. swooshtika
9. cockgoblin
10.the

I will not stand for this abuse. Fantods at twenty paces.

1. Neducated/Neducation/Nedutainment
2. Nedication (prescrip or over-the-counter)
3. Nedification
4. Neditorial
5. Nedema
6. Nedwardian
7. Nedible
8. Nedacious
9. Nedentate
10.Nedgy

Now I truly fear.

1. human
2. chimpanzee
3. gorilla
4. orangutan
5. bilobo
6. um...shit!

1. Jamaica
2. Ireland
3. Wales
4. Iceland
5. New Zealand
6. Madagascar
7. Guam
8. Cuba
9. Japan
10.Crete

D'oh!

1. Chris V. doing the running man
2. Surfing for pix of cats, good looking men (for that thread only - honestly!), guitars, and so-on.
3. Time spent making coffee and drinking it, opening candy wrappers and eating chocolate, etc...
4. Staring out the window (it's a beautiful day out today - in the low 60's!)
5. Throwing away trash (I make it an art - I keep the trashcan far enough away that making it in the bin is rather difficult)
6. Calling/receiving calls from my bf, family, friends...
7. Checking email
8. Confusing posters (by this I don't mean that I try to confuse other posters but that I get them confused, so then I'm like, "What??? HE said THAT???... oh...")
9. Being ammused by Dan Perry, fad posters (you know who they are), the rock chix, the nicks, et al (ie: this is where I name drop you)
10. Plotting my band's rise to stardome

*...wipes sweat from bRow*

1. Air Force One
2. Debaser (Pixies)
3. The new single by fifty-cent (ok, I haven't heard that one today, but I WANTED to hear it)
4. One of the Pan American songs (was listening to them this morning and they all sort of blended together in a happy, sleepy daze)
5. Plane Crash in C By Rilo Kiley
6-10 other Pixies tracks from Doolittle

1. tap
2. bottle
3. creek
4. well
5. spring
6. water cooler down the hall
7. melting ice
8. falling from the sky
9. vapors from hydrogen fuel-cells
10.extracted from cacti in the middle of the desert

10. Cuddlefish
9. Tortoises
8. Hawks/Falcons
7. Elephants
6. Frogs
5. Horses
4. Blue whales
3. Leopards/Cheetahs/Lions (fuck you tigers, go home)
2. Dolphins
1. Chimps

1. cats
2. skunks
3. horses
4. female dogs
5. little monkeys that are taught to steal
6. parrots
7. cobras
8. squirrels
9. camels
10. koala bears

1. elephant
2. rhinocerous
3. hippopotamous
4. giraffe
5. buffalo
6. moose
7. sperm whale
8. manatee
9. Leviathan
10.CHICKENBEAR!!!!

1. 69
2. 666
3. 73
4. 8
5. 9000
6. 2
7. 41
8. X
9. 123
10. 10

The Top Ten Numbers of All-Time:
10. 10
9.9
8.8
7.6
6.7
5.23
4.0
3.3
2. 3.14
1. 1345

-- Oops (buttch99@hotmail.com), February 4th, 2003.

1. Baps
2. Melons.
3. Hooters.
4. Norks.
5. Puppies.
6. Dumplings.
7. Bazookas.
8. Jugs
9. Tits.
10. Bristols.

I read it as 'the thread in which you post top tens,' not 'the thread in which you post DEFINITIVE top tens.'

I sort of forgive you, anyway.

Oh, and I don't see a 'the' but I do see a 'The'

Oh I don't know, it's there somewhere

**BTW I hope you don't actually think I give a shit**

1. Robin
2. Billy
3. Lack
4. Hejan
5. Rolig
6. Kelig
7. Glis
8. Emu
9. Mard
10. Knavel

10. Dan's garage
9. Dan's basement
8. in front of my drumset
7. in g/f's bed
6. movies
5. Field Museum
4. the El
3. Oberweis Dairy/Ice Cream store
2. Great America
1. anywhere

1. Manet, Olympia
2. Caillibotte, Street in Paris: A Rainy Day
3. Leonardo, Mona Lisa
4. Dali, The Persistence of Memory
5. Pozzo, St Ignatius ceiling
6. I forget who, The Sisters of the Artist
7. Fiona Rae, Blue & Purple Triptych
8. Lorrain, Cleopatra at Tarsus
9. Mantegna, St Sebastian
10.Hannah Hoch, Glasses

Nick, you forgot "Nedgligible".

1. 13A
2. 10
3. 41B
4. 217
5. 61, flat 2
6. 3979
7. 73
8. 6
9. 53
10. 9

But not 18a, that was fucking awful.

1. Is a hovercraft a boat?
2. Is Jake the one with the big yellow quiff?
3. Why have they added small, but nevertheless, *unrealistic* elements to the new Grange Hill?
4. Why is David Aaronovitch such a vacuous farmer of cock?
5. Why don't I give up my job and go renovate a house?
6. I wonder if I've got a reply to my job application?
7. Why is there nothing better than Bargain Hunt on right now?
8. How can I read more about what's going on in current philosophy of mind debates?
9. When will the hurting stop?
10 Why is everyone talking about a doc that revealed the "news" that MiJac is mental?

But taught at Hampshire, so you ended up with people going, "Yeah, that line from King Lear reminded me of this thing we read for my 1960s Magic Realism course..." or "Hey, wasn't Byron the guy in that Ken Russell movie?"

Oh, uh, Top Ten Things I've Taken Away From Hampshire College:

1) Just to start out literal, a Nahuatl dictionary I forgot to return to the library. Ditto, G-Men in Popular Culture.
2) A love of paper titles which take up three lines and follow the "Phrase In Quotes": An Adjective Noun of Subject-Matter in Other-Subject-Matter formula.
3) The smug knowledge that I have probably read way more 19th century safari accounts than you.
4) A tendency to giggle when someone says "yurt."
5) High standards for campus graffiti.
6) A dislike of Jello shots, Bob Marley, and hemp clothing.
7) An inability to notice the smell of pot when I walk by it, since I became so used to it.
8) A casual attitude towards attendance and indifference to grades. Okay, those were just reinforced by Hamp.
9) Messy coloring books (worst in-joke ever). And there is no 10 because, in the spirit of Hampshire, I just haven't gotten to it yet. Maybe later, after I've discovered myself.

Top 5 Questions I am Grappling With this afternoon:
I'll let you know when I get there

I'll take it! I have a collection.

10. I always have to pee.
9. When I do pee, I usualy have to pee again in 15 minutes.
8. ... I think I've run out of reasons.
7. How the hell am I going to fill up the rest of this list?
6. *whistles* Doo-dee-doo...
5. Damn, it's snowing like a beast here.
4. I wonder if I can get out of work early?
3. Shit, I have to pee.
2.
1. Okay, I'm back. DAMN I HAVE TO PEE AGAIN.

10 - Talk about diets
9 - Put on make up/perfume at their desks - go to the f*cking loo!
8 - Bitch
7 - Talk overly loud on the phone (I don't care how exciting you think your life is, just shut the f*ck up, OK?)
6 - Tell you about their intimate problems, ew
5 - Make tea for the boss and smile sweetly - suck!
4 - Put twee stuffed animals/pictures of naff housewives idols all over their work station
3 - Gossip
2 - Go in a strop over the most stupid tiny irrelevant thing that nobody else gives a damn about
1 - Bring their children into work - why? It's baby, big f*cking deal, I've seen one before and unless I'm related to it, I really don't care

Top Ten Non-Alcoholic Things to Drink (that aren't water):

1.) Mexican hot chocolate
2.) Bubble tea (strawberry or mango if cold; plain black if hot)
3.) Kona mocha macademia nut coffee
4.) almost any kind of tea that isn't Bigelow or Stash
5.) chocolate milk
6.) strawberry milk
7.) Vietnamese coffee
8.) Oleang
9.) horchata
10.) Thai iced tea

10. cough cough
9. richard and judy are ODD
8. i now own three books which have as their general subject "lord bryon being a vampire"
7. never read any bryon
6. or keats (apart from odeonagrecianurn)
5. my new kilt is lovely if slightly too tight
4. diet diet diet
3. cough cough
2. i need a bath
1. fabaceous!

1) It's snowing outside.
2) It's cold outside.
3) It's warm in here.
4) It's not warm out there.
5) My fuzzy pink slippers are soooo comfortable.
6) The clothes I slept in last night are soooo comfortable.
7) This chair is soooo comfortable.
8) The thing I was going to do Out There isn't terribly urgent and can wait until the weekend.
9) I mean, it would have been nice to take care of it today, but whatev.
10) Staying in just means that I can play "Waterloo Sunset" a few more times today.

1. Devil's Island
2. Rust in Peace...Polaris
3. Wake Up Dead
4. Peace Sells
5. Rattlehead
6. Dawn Patrol
7. Symphony of Destruction
8. In My Darkest Hour
9. Tornado of Souls
10. Architecture of Aggression

10. Oh yeah. You blend.
9. Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these *magic* grits?
8. And what are you, a f--kin' world traveler?
7. You were *serious* about that?
6. Oh, a *counter*-offer!
5. Yeah, everything that guy just said is bullshit ... Thank you.
4. Trees!
3. I bet the Chinese food here is terrible!
2. How do you cook your
grits? Do you like them regular, creamy, or al dente?
1. I got no more use for this guy

Top Ten People At Work
10. John
9. Jackie K
8. Lauren
7. Neil
6. Ralph
5. Joe
4. Ed
3. Jackie W
2. Cindy
1. Craig

1. dickens
2. woolf
3. tolstoy
4. austen
5. delillo
6. hardy
7. james
8. proust
9. zola
10. hugo

sorry for being a guy. I would have included her speech at the end in the car if i had found it.

I think all this discussion proves is that it is impossible to pick the ten best lines from My Cousin Vinny.

1)Denzel Washington - Training Day (2002)
2)Al Pacino - Scent Of A Woman (1993)
3)Dustin Hoffman - Ben Kingsley (1988)
4)Ben Kingsley - Gandhi (1983)
5)Henry Fonda - On Golden Pond (1982)
6)Katherine Hepburn - On Golden Pond (1982)
7)Robert DeNiro - Raging Bull (1981)
8)Jack Lemmon - Save The Tiger (1974)
9)Gene Hackman - The French Connection (1972)
10)John Wayne - True Grit (1970)

3)Dustin Hoffman - Rainman (1988)

Al Pacino should've won for The Devil's Advocate. That's a fantastic film.

OI and you posted Rain Man while I was posting - what's wrong with that one?

3 & 7: playing subhuman's incapable of any emotion beyond fear and anger isn't impressive

and 9: he's to par...with the first SLAM-BANG! BULLET IN YOUR FACE! action film with no real meat to it. Winning for that and not the Conversation, Superman, All Night Long, etc. etc. etc. A crime.

Anthony was in a rush when he posted, and regretted the use of the word "subhuman" as soon as he was out the door. He isn't near a computer to rectify the situation, so I'm doing the honors.

I'm sure he'll clarify his post when he gets on the computer tomorrow, but he didn't mean to suggest what his post seems to imply about autism. Goodnight.

1. "I DEMAND TO HAVE SOME BOOZE!"
2. "There must, and shall be, asprin"
3. "I feel like a pig shat in my head..."
4. "Even a stopped clock keeps the right time twice a day"
5. "As a youth, I used to weep in butchers shops"
6. "There is a certain je ne sais quois about a firm, young carrot"
7. "Cool yer boots, man"
8. "You can stuff it up your arse for nothing, and fuck off while you're doing it!"
9. "What's your name, McFuck?"
10. "We are multimillionares. We're gonna buy this place and install a fucking jukebox!"

(last one's from memory and may be wrong)

Damn, 10 is nowhere near enough, the film is full of gems...

10. Emma (mom's calico kitty that was recently put down)
9. Fluffy (puffy tabby cat, mother to Fluffus and Bonkers; one of the original cats)
8. Malty (a lab rat my mom brought home for us)
7. Ali (my sister's grey stripey kitty)
6. Sweetheart (german shep/lab mix; had to give her away because we moved to a house without a yard)
5. Snowball (big bushy white kitty; mother to chessie and peake)
4. Daisy (family cat growing up - she lived to be 19 - tabby)
3. Coco (big bushy maine coon I had when I was little)
2. Lucy (belongs to bf, but lives with me - crazy tabby cat)
1. Pepper (russian blue kitty)

Only #s 1, 2, & 7 are still living - unless Coco, who I lost when I was 14, is still out there somewhere.

Yeah, what Stephanie said. I was running and didn't phrase that right. I should have said I'm not impressed by Dustin Hoffman's ability to play someone who is autistic. It seems that would be easier than playing someone who was fully functional emotionally. Emotional complexity and expressiveness being the hardest thing an actor could express.

And no offensive to the real Jake LaMotta (hell if I know what he's like), but DeNiro played a subhuman.

Hackman would have been number 10 on my list had it been based on quality, not chronologically). You're right, he's not THAT bad.

S: I'm Sam. He's Max. We solve mysteries.
M: With blunt instruments.

M: I'm not a malefactor, I'm a lagomorph.

M: If I had tear ducts, I'd be weeping like a teenager.

S: I'm Sam. He's Max. We savagely protect the rights of innocents.
M: Even cruelly twisted ones such as yourself. Selves. Whatever.

S: You'll have those abominations of nature back in your protective care before you can read the Koran.
M: Didn't he fight Godzilla?

M: Hey, it's the abombiminibibble... amobinabble... amniotic... oh, forget it.

S: I'm Sam. He's Max. We bust punks.
M: Yeah, and we're overachievers.

S: My mind is a swirling miasma of scintillating thoughts and turgid ideas.

M: Shall I confront, subdue, and pummel the suspected perpetrator, Sam?
S: Sic 'im up, little buddy.

S: The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
M: But it makes a pretty good milkshake.

I don't think Kingsley's performance as Gandhi is bad at all; it's not a great movie by any means but he's fine in the role. De Niro had better roles than La Motta, but again, most of the problems with that film are in the script.

10. "I've seen a lot of sexually perverse photographs involving tennis rackets."
9. "What is your damage, Heather?"
8. "Bulimia's SO '87."
7. "Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
6. "I don't patronize bunny rabbits!"
5. "My teen angst bullshit now has a body count."
4. "If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host."
3. "Chaos killed the dinosaurs!"
2. "I blame not Heather, but rather a society that tells its children that the answers can be found in the MTV video games!"
1. "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!"

10. American Bowling Congress
9. Dr. Bustermonny
8. Nookie Watts
7. "Double Duty" Radcliffe
6. Two-Gun Pete (a.k.a. Sylvester Washington)
5. The Second Oldest Profession
4. Little Miss Cornshucks
3. Druids (nightclub)
2. Earl Walker (alleged pimp)
1. Eskimos

1. get a decent job
2. make decent portfolio (interchangeable with 1 depending on how valuable this turns out to be in getting me a new job)
3. finish off that curry before it goes off
4. burn loads of CDs owed to various people
5. make arrangements for Saturday (will probably go to Hyde Park)
6. get new job
7. find more things to do to distract me from getting new job
8. touch booby (maybe this isnt high enough)
9. cut out and keep all the images i like from various issues of Creative Review
10. JOB!

1)hitting her

2)refusing to leave his wife despite a stated disdain for the institution of marriage

3)his tendency to describe her emotional needs as "bourgeois" and rooted in the pernicious teachings of her father

4)his buddies: the profound contradictions in the behaviour of georg schrimpf, franz jung and johannes baader - all of whom paid lip service to women's emancipation but mistreated their wives and girlfriends.

5)his and dada at larges refusal to welcome her professionally. george grosz and john heartfield opposed hochs participation in the dada fair, hans richter remembered her primarily for the "sandwiches, beer and coffee she managed somehow to conjure up despite the shortage of money"

6)his lifelong disrespect for her work. while they were still together he lectured hoch like a child about her more traditional views on aesthetics and ridiculed her continued interest in easel painting.

7)self absorption in his own 'great artist' status, slighting hoch's own art by asking her to help him financially on the grounds that he - the artist - should not have to waste time on pecuniary affairs; she agreed, using her salary from ullstein to support herself and hausmann during much of the time they were together. luckily she didnt let this get her down and channelled her bitter feelings into her body of work focussing on gender relations.

8)similarly he would never do the dishes as being asked to do so would through hims into an intense spiritual crisis. his answer was to confront the woman with the 'truth' that such demands arise from a desire to dominate

9)he couldnt cook

10)aesthetic dogmatism

10: Vanessa
9. Hazel
8. Jamie
7. Elise
6. Annabel
5. Erin
4. The Twins
3. Paula
2. The girl playing basketball with Elise before they lez up
1. Danielle

1) handles
2) time passing slowly
3) flatness (e.g. good for paper when writing or tables when placing glasses on them)
4) triple 18 on a dartboard
5) the word "plinth"
6) the viola
7) a well-crafted pub quiz
8) strictly mediocre yet pleasant records
9) stairs
10) logical positivism

1) Blue sky and sea air
2) Red wine
3) Reading on the train
4) Oldies
5) Playing guitar
6) Working on a Chinese/Mexican/Indian/Filipino business project
7) TCM/Tivo
8) Painting
9) Clean laundry
10) Sleeping

1.Jimi Tenor
2.East River Pipe
3.The Faces
4.Jinglesource
5.Supersuckers
6.Delia Gonzalez & Gavin Russom
7.Matias Aguayo
8.Kode 9 feat. Daddi Gee
9.kode 9 + Spaceape
10.Metro Area

10. Mary Todd Lincoln. (Not really crazy, but locked up anyway)
9. John Ruskin. (Like Lewis Carroll, but creepier)
8. Mary Lamb. (Killed her mother, then became a writer of popular children's books)
7. Daniel Schreber. (Author of the monumental Memoirs of My Nervous Illness)
6. John Cleves Symmes. (Proponent of the Hollow Earth)
5. H. H. Holmes. (Built murderous castle in Chicago)
4. Lizzie Borden
3. Sara Winchester. (Built the Winchester Mansion on the advice of a spiritualist)
2. Frederick Law Olmstead. (Commited to the asylum whose landscape
he had planned, was forced to see daily how his designs had been poorly carried out)
1. Ada Lovelace Byron. (Writer of the first computer program,took to her bed and died after doctors told her the mathematics was causing her brain to overheat)

Top Ten Best Things To Achieve!

10. Goals

Like many of us already know, goals are one of the most important things to not only set for yourself, but also to try and achieve! The best thing about goals is that you can set as many as you want, as long as your goals are realistic for you. Make it a game, see how many of your own goals you can achieve!

9. Satisfactory Results

Why settle for unsatisfactory results when you can probably achieve satisfactory results? So many people have tried and succeeded in achieving results that are satisfactory, and the chances are you can probably do it too. You'll never believe how satisfying satisfactory results are until you've achieved them.

8. A Win

Who likes to lose? Nobody! Who likes to win? Everybody! It's a relatively simple concept, but the tricky thing to remember about winning is that it's so easy to convince yourself that it's difficult, when in reality, it's actually less difficult to win than it is to not win. At the very same time, it's also more easy. So what've you got to lose? Nothing but losing itself! Do your best to achieve a win today.

7. Excellence

Coming in at Lucky Number 7, excellence is definitely one of the best things you can achieve. How do you achieve excellence? Many people have their own way of doing this, but studies have shown that the most effective trick to achieving excellence is simply to set your mind to it. Once you do that, you're halfway there! Just remember: greatness is good, but excellence is great. It's that easy. So achieve it!

6. Net Benefits

A lot of people like to think, “hey, I can achieve a single benefit for myself or for others, but there's no way I can achieve a cumulative benefit for all.” And that's what net means, it simply means cumulative e.g. gross, or a total amount that is compounded over time using the differences given by the first example. So next time you're setting your success objectives, remind yourself that you can always make it happen if you go one step further and get what's beneficial to all!

5. Success

Now, this one should really go without saying. Seems like a no-brainer, but not only is success one of the best things to achieve, but it's also one of the most important, too. Like so many of us have maybe already realized, if you've ever achieved success before, you know the feeling: it's great! With success, not only can you be proud of yourself, but you can rest assured that others will also be proud of you too in addition to that, when it comes down to it. And hey, what's more important than that?

4. Objectives

It really should come as no surprise that setting a clear and attainable objective for oneself is one of the best ways in which to guarantee achievement of that objective whether it's for yourself or for others or both or for any combination thereof. So why doesn't everyone do it? The answer is that some people have problems differentiating an objective from a goal. But guess what? The reality is that if you work hard, and really put your mind to it, you can do this too. It's all a matter of mind over matter!

3. Positive Outcomes

Hey, who doesn't want a positive outcome, am I right? The truth is, there are all sorts of outcomes out there: positive, negative, good, bad, you name it! The problem that we typically encounter with regard to it is not knowing how to classify which from what. But experts have determined that generally, the trick to overcoming this particular challenge is to always remember that usually positivity is not only a goal to be achieved, but rather, it's simply a method of achieving success. That's the true key to achieving a positive outcome, and you can do it.

2. Dreams

We all have them. We all want them. They're dreams! When you wake up, what do you think you've dreamed? It's a question everyone should be asking. Studies have shown that the answer really could be anything as long as it's a dream that you yourself have as your dream. That's why it's so important to know what your dreams really are, especially in this day and age. Understanding them definitely takes much less effort than most people realize. And when you finally do achieve what you've been dreaming? Now that's what I call a dream!

1. Accomplishments

Accomplishments are the number one best thing that anyone can achieve.

Top Ten Burrito posts

10)

.

hi Neamberthal

how are you doing today Neamberthal

Top Ten Ways I Bet Neamberthal is Doing Today

10. "Been better!" Man, things have been pretty crazy lately! And not necessarily in a good way if you catch my drift ;)

9. "Good enough, I guess!" I mean shit, I'm well aware a lot of folks got it much worse than me, not like I can complain y'know :)

8. "Fuckin' A, Bro" Things have not exactly been super fantastico excellente my brah, if you're pickin up what I'm layin down :(

7. "Bluggggh, don't even ask" Please do not ask me how my day is going today because I would prefer not to answer because of mood :(

6. "It's alright I guess" Tried that new Western Deluxe Double Cheeseburger from the Hardee's? The one with the onion rings? It was alright ;|

5. "Fuck you" Don't even fucking ask bitch >:(

4. "Can you not see my face? Can you not do the fucking human emotional intelligence math and figure it out yourself?" Read the room >:(

3. "Pretty good actually!" Yeah man my roommate brought home a sixer of these new Clementine flavored 70-cal White Claws. Party on Wayne! ;)

2. "No bueno amigo" My dog died ;(

1. "I am a dog and I died"

              _=,_
           o_/6 /#\
           \__ |##/
            ='|--\
              /   #'-.
              \#|_   _'-. /
               |/ \_( # |" 
               C/ ,--___/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhXLpXgtk4w