Top five lists of anything!

5: Motley Fool (Boring financial website) 4: "I pity the fool" (Catchphrase of TV's aeoplane fearer BA Barracus) 3: Rhubarb Fool (1920's pudding made of rhubarb & fat) 2: April Fool's Day (Day on calander designed specifically to lose friends with "lesser developed" sense of humour) 1: Foolscap (A size of paper that no-one uses or understands)

1. Coprophilia
2. Bestiality
3. Nasal Sex
4. Necrophilia
5. Eating cereal & milk out of women's shoes

1) Onion Bhajia 2) Samosas 3) Pakoras 4) Spicy Chana 5) Japanese Rice Crackers

5. Lisa Steps with naff 'rock' outfit.

4. Moody Eminem looking moody.

3. Claire Steps with punXoR spraycan.

2. Albino Britney on mocked-up desert island.

1. Hear'Say mugging atrociously in schoolboy/girl garb.

Top 5 Things in My Bag: 1. Fave lipstick 2. Cigarettes 3. Money money money 4. Staff discount card 5. Discman

5. Leo Tolstoy - War And Peace (not impressive at all as it is in £1 edition)
4. Hakim Bey - Immediatism (Never in the mood. Haven't been in the mood for HB since 1996 though so maybe time to give up.)
3. Roland Barthes - Camera Lucida (no idea why I've not read this actually and I'd forgotten I even had it - a happy accident then)
2. Jean Baudrillard - Seduction (I have more unread Baudrillard at my parents' house.)
1. Michel Foucault - Discipline And Punish (I spilt tomato ketchum on it on day of purchase and ever since then have found it vaguely icky).

5.Walls of Jericho 4.The Last Ride 3.Poetry in Motion 2.3-D (preferably through a table) 1.Rock Bottom, Rock Bottom

5 Endnotes

4 Footnotes

3 None

2 Harvard, with colons (Sachs:1999:23-25)

1 Harvard, with commas and pps (Sachs, 1999, pp23-25).

5) Frankie Knuckles [knockout producer]

4) Lung Leg [two for the price of one!]

3) The Liverbirds [scouse comediennes]

2) Urethra Franklin [soul diva with poor bladder control]

1) Tony Hart [three for the price of one!]

5. Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 4. Oompah oompah oompah smash 3. Wikky wikky wikky wik 2. MmmmmmmmmmmWOM! 1. BWAAAARP! BWAAAAAAAARP!

5)1 4)5 3)4 2)1 1)3

3 is the magic number

5. Martin Short 4. Chevy Chase 3. James Belushi 2. Judge Reinhold 1. Steve Guttenberg

1. Six (Blossom)

2. Penfold (Dangermouse)

3. Willow

4. Lorraine Macintosh (Deacon Blue)

5. Hugh Lawrie (Stephen Fry)

1. Odour
2. Scent
3. Olfaction
4. Fragrance
5. Stink

if you get as far as lists 51-60 you get a quite funny top 10 FORTHCOMING HARRY POTTER BOOKS

5 Members of SClub7

4 Trees

3 Crossword synonyms for 'smell'

2 Numbers 1-5

1 Fools

5. Fizzy Gravy
4. Wet Gravel
3. Rusty Water
2. Big Bomber
1. Captain's Log

5. Joint ache
4. Lethargy
3. Chesty cough
2. Prickly skin heat
1. "The guts"

5. Fruity 4. Hairy 3. Gareth's 2. like Geoff Capes' back 1. Tuppence-coloured

5. On shelf where I'm meant to leave them so I can find them again
4. Under duvet
3. Under junk on floor
2. Down side of bed
1. In pocket

5. Candy - Ash
4. The Waiting Line - Zero 7
3. Always Somethink There To Remind Me
2. Can't Get You Out of my Head
1. Eternal Flame - Atomic Kitten

1) They cost £1! 2) Unattractive colour scheme means no one pinches it. 3) Expand your mind. 4) There are loads of them. 5) Gloat at people who haven't read War and Peace. Lightweights!

1) Fuck off. 2) What a bunch of wankers. 3) The police - bunch of arseholes. 4) Bollocks - I'm stuck here for five minutes even if I don't give you any answers. 5) Driving to the census point then not stopping and flying up onto the motorway, and, in one instance, JUST answering the questions and almost taking me with him in wanker-like hurry.

1. Jus-Rol Pastry (round cross-section, Puff)

2. Jus-Rol Pastry (round cross-section, Shortcrust)

3. Crunchy-Nut Cornflakes

4. Oasis Summer Fruits

5. "life-affirming snacks"

http://www.carlover.com/bimages/5394-1.jpg

2

http://www.pointhappy.com/cvcars/avantiad.jpg

3

http:// www.no-name-garage.co.uk/existing/410%20no%20parking%20lh.jpg

4

http:// welcometodunedin.co.nz/dunedinmotormuseum/greenwolseley.gif

5

http://members.tripod.com/mhilvers/saabpics/saab96.jpg

xoxo

5. Best Post
4. Filthiest Poster
3. Dream Date Male
2. Dream Date Female
1. Nicest Poster

1) monkey bread
2) gingerbread
3) paklava
4) ones with red and green m&ms
5) chewy cinnamony ones

5. "God damnit!"
4. "Shit!"
3. "Cockfarmer."
2. "Donkey balls!"
1. "FUCKSOCKS."

1. Fancied a coworker. 2. Used the magical tube to put money in a safe. 3. Sold petrol. 4. Signed a contract. 5. Went to McDonalds on the way home.

1) indigo

2) stone

3 snow

4) snow (with patches)

5) used

1) velcro

2) press stud

3) button

4) that clip thing on suit trousers

5) damnit i only know 4

1. Cigarette butts
2. Lager cans
3. Sweet wrappers
4. Torn up travelcards
5. Yesterday's newspapers.

1. The Juanita Special Bean Dip
2. Pasadena Mudslide
3. Rusty Trombone
4. Dog in a bathtub
5. Arabian Goggles

   ― Chris, Tuesday, 30 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The list is incomplete. I'm not sure it's in order either.

1. regexes
2. $#array -index of the last element of an array
3. xemacs color perl mode
4. $_
5. derefencing complex data structures sytax

1. ZZ
2. /
3. i
4. o, or O (tie)
5. "a10dd

Top 5 things I just picked up at the grocery store for my BBQ tonight:

1. hamburger patties (pre-formed, so no messy hands!)
2. whole wheat buns
3. guacamole
4. ketchup
5. chips

carlton black
hoegaarden
coopers best extra stout
asahi
mountain goat

1.



$_ = 'a' x 8;

m<

  (?{ $cnt = 0 })                    # Initialize $cnt.

  (

        a

        (?{

                local $cnt = $cnt + 1;       # Update $cnt, backtracking-safe

        })

  )*

  aaaa

  (?{ $res = $cnt })                 # On success copy to non-localized

                                                                         # location.

>x;



2.



m{ \(

          (

                (?> [^()]+ )        # change x+ above to (?> x+ )

          |

                \( [^()]* \)

          )+

   \)

}x



3.



/     \# [ \t]*   ( [^ \t] .* ) /x;



4.



m{ ( \( )?

        [^()]+

        (?(1) \) )

}x



5.



s/^([^ ]*) *([^ ]*)/$2 $1/;

"a10dd Deletes 10 lines of text into buffer a

The Pinefox
Tracer Hand
Ned Raggett
Sterling Clover
Gale Deslongchamps

1/ HSBC

2/ Connex South Eastern rail travel

3/ Emap Performance LTD

4/ London Transport

5/ Vodaphone

New York City
Berlin
Philadelphia
Brussels
Manchester(!)

5. Michael Jackson (had moved into my old bedroom at my parent's house. This caused great tension between me and my mother, as the King of Pop's monkey kept bothering my cat.)

4. Terri Garr (was an attorney for Microsoft, and treated me with great contempt during my Kafka-esque trial for software piracy and arson of a Kebab stand.)

3. Low (performed a cover version of "Thank You for Hearing Me" while dogs played and many teenage girls hula-hooped on my parents' front lawn.)

2. Christina Ricci (did her.)

1. Weird Al Yankovic (was in my eighth-grade classroom as I flew around, telling everyone in the room that I hate them.)

monte alban on santa monica
border grill on fourth
serenita de garabaldi on fourth
lare's on pico
place at sawtelle and pico across from best buy

mary oliver
st. john of the cross
joe sorren
lydia davis
catherine keener

1. Blackpool Pleasure Beach - Blackpool, GB (1)
2. Efteling - Holland (I don't remember how to spell the name of the town...its a really big name and stuff)
3. Europa Park - Rust, GER
4. Lakeside - Denver, CO
5. Kennywood - Pittsburgh, PA

(1) And I'm not English, or even of Anglo descent. I envy you guys for this place. Southport too.

-
Alan

5.
EK: Twenty Benson, please.
CSP: You don't want any beer?
EK: Er, no thanks. Maybe this afternoon.

4.
CSP: Hey man, how are you doing?
[EK answers pretty friendlily, is drawn into short conversation, leaves and never returns to shop which is by far the closest to EK's flat at the time, instead walking to shops which are further away, owing to fear of having to talk to strangers.]

3.
[EK is purchasing some nice chocolates.]
CSP: These look good. Are they good?
EK: Yeah. I mean, I like them.
CSP: Mmm, they look good! Maybe I should have some?
EK: I think you should. They're good.
CSP: You think I should? They look good.
EK: Yeah, maybe you should. They're good.

2.
[EK is buying assorted groceries and some cigarettes. He pays, receives change, and continues to stand at the counter like a dope. CSP wonders why EK is still there.]
EK (finally, nervously): And the cigarettes?
CSP: I already gave you them.
EK [checks bag]: No, look, I don't think you did.
CSP: I did. Don't pull this crap on me.
EK: Seriously, I think you forgot to give me my cigarettes.
CSP; I gave you your cigarettes, okay?
EK: You didn't! [Checks pockets.] Shit. Here they are! [Grins with embarrassment.] Sorry!
[CSP sneers at EK, who leaves.]

1.
EK [in Scottish accent, which makes 'i's sound like 'u's]: Do you have binbags?
CSP: Do we have what?
EK: Binbags.
CSP: Sorry, I don't understand you.
EK: Binbags! [Spots binbags] Oh, there they are.
CSP: Ah! You meant BLACK bags. [Laughing at EK] You didn't want to say the word 'black' because I am black, eh?
EK: No, really, I call them binbags...

5. More more!
4. And again!
3. Shazam!
2. Bump!
1. Revive!

1. El Gran Silencio
2. Cafe Tacuba
3. Jaguares
4. Celso Pina y su Banda Ronda
5. Los Tucanes de Tijuana

1. It's the freaking weekend
2. I am listening to Zwan
3. I just had lunch
4. er?
5. Bon Jovi tonight!

1. Iron Maiden - Videos of the Beast
2. Perfect Blue
3. Blood the Last Vampire
4. Transformers - Five faces of Darkness
5. er, I only have 4 'proper' DVD's, unless I include the ones that came with my Shakira, Sum 41 and Zwan CD's.

1. Duracell M3 AA
2. HVW Super Heavy Duty AAA
3. 9 Volt
4. Everready D
5. Duracell C

1. Quick check out my online novel before it's wiped from the face of the earth
2. any SF-area ILXORs wanna do a huge favor BY FRIDAY for their old buddy Neudonym?
3. So what's the fuckin' deal with ANGER
4. my next one
5. like Melissa Sue Anderson at the end of that '80s slasher movie...

Top 5 posh sensitive outdoorsy british army officer type cunts of the early 21st century

1. James Blunt
2. Johnny Mercer
3. Rory Stewart
4. Ben Fogle
5. Bear Grylls