Ha Ha : I dropped my book in the bath and it went fat

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So what books have you been reading in the bath and accidentally dropped, splashed water on, fallen asleep during and dunked it so it went fat.

I dropped a library copy of Phillip K.Dick's Ubik cos I fell asleep (it doesn't zing) and then tried to dry it out with hair dryer. It till went fat though and even though I tried to squish it under It by Stephen King they still noticed at Borehamwood Local Library and I got fined. Bah!

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Metaphors We Live By, like 3 weeks ago. it went wobbly rather than fat as I pressed it hard. it is now rippled.

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

(actually it was stupider than "dropped in while reading". i left it on shelf to read but never got round to it, then after getting out i went to pick it up, but knocked it over, it wheeled over the back of my hand, hit the side of the bath and fell in to the still draining water.)

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I dropped a library copy of Villette into a rock pool in Pembrokeshire. It was a bit salty and rippled but ok in the end.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Bruno Schulz, 'The Street of Crocodiles'. :(

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

the clue book to Zac McKraken and the Alien Mindbenders. i was young.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Bonus points for books you tried to read in the shower.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I have successfully read in the shower! plastic bags!

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I dropped my dinner on "London: The Biography" and left the recently mentioned "Hard Boiled Wonderland" at Minneapolis airport. No fat books lately, though I did drop my mobile phone down the toilet. It still works! (though inside the there is a trail of dried spots of urine)

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

don't they steam up, Andrew? a cold shower seems a bit extreme just so you can read.

the library fines you if you damage a book, regardless of the nature of the accident? It seems a bit harsh. But maybe fair as well, I'm not sure.

Better than dropping an ebook in the bath and it going phut, I suppose.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

No books, but I spilt coke all over my prized copy of Dinosaur Jrs first single and now the sleeve is all crinkly and so it is probably worth jack :(

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah Mark remninds me of the hardest ettiquette problem I was ever faced with. What do you do if you are pissing in a trench urinal and the man pissing next to you drops his phone in the trench. Do you stop pissing allowing him to retrieve it whilst signalling that it is in someway okay to use a mobile in a lavatory. Or do you continue pissing to show your disdain.

(Factor in the difficulty of stopping mid flow).

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

OF COURSE the library fines you if you damage a book! Totally fair.
It's no use saying 'oh but I'm clumsy, surely I'm exempt from fines?'

I remember the fuss when overdue fines on children's books were introduced (back when I still worked in a public library). Anyone would think we were charging them hundreds of pounds a day rather than *seven pence*.

People don't appreciate how lucky they are to have a public library service. Reading books for free! How great is that!?

(Haha sorry MarkH this turned into a rant but not one directed at you.)

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Completely agree Archel. Though if he had still been alive I would have written to PKD for writing such a dull book. AT least it was dull to me when I was fourteen. It might be better now but I am afeard of falling asleep in the baff again and drowning.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

my copy of infinite jest was in my bag a couple of summers ago when i was caught in a freak hailstorm. it would be somewhat disingenuous to say that it "went fat", but it's now by far the fattest book i own.

― toby (tsg20), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Christ if you had dropped that in the bath there wouldn't be any water left.....

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay Infinite Jest Yay Yay Yay.

I've lain the wetting on a copy of Kenneth R. Stephens' 'Visual Basic Algorithms', though - my friend was reading it, and said I should pour water on him if he fell asleep. He did. I did. There's five illegible pages now.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Gravity's Rainbow. It turned into the biggest book ever.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Hello the Boy G!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Infinite Jest indeed.

I was worried that the St James's Library copy of a 'A Fisherman of the Inland Sea' by Ursula K! Le Guin was going to be fuxx0red after being dropped down the radiator for several months, but after it was rescued by Mojo magazine, it was fine!

BOO!

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Hello! I'm not really here, you know. As soon as someone on Si*****r says something as G-delight-inducing as Tom listing 'Square Dance' in his top five records of the year, I'll be back to muttering under my breath about y'all. This may take some time.

I miss a 'Jest thread by FIVE DAYS? Le bah.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Threads never die... They just get dropped in the bath and get phat.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Never drop a magazine in the bath. Vogue got very fat and then disintigrated so I had to take a shower to get rid of bits of pulp.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

WHy don't they make adult versions of baby bath books for shower and bath use.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Pete you're a perv.

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

is reading addictive?

"I's under control!" But I'm not sure it is. "Unputdownable" is a joke to many, it's a never-ending nightmare* for me.

*(OK it is a minor inconvenience occasionally)

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Its okay Mark if you have a full tank of hot water and you can keep topping up the bath. Tim, I used adult with a small a.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I dropped pretty much every book I had when younger in the bath. I have very little respect, unless they belong to someone else. I'm a haphazard bather anyway, liable to eat, drink and smoke in the bath, the latter resulting in a rather exfoliating bath water due to ash (nb, I have made this up. Really).

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

if you sit there long enough it will turn to pumice, alix

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Papier Maché baths.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I once filled a puddle outside my friends house with bubble bath, made a placard reading 'Bathtime In The Street' and then we stood in the puddle.

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Never drop a magazine in the bath.

Too late. I dropped last month's Nylon in the bath tub and it got fatter than some of the models in there. Plus I soaked the December Sleazenation in bleach while doing my laundry and was scared to read it b/c I imagined it was like a cursed spellbook covered in contact poison that would blind me 500* turns (but I did anyway).

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

But was it art? I once covered a bathroom floor in cold cream and 'ice skated' on it.

Um that was to Alix.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

You people are sick. BATHS ARE FOR BATHING. Eating / smoking / drinking / reading etc can all be done in other perfectly good places that will not lead to the kind of accidents described here.

― Emma, Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Baths are for reading. Emma, you are so reductive.

You'll be saying that beds are for sleeping next.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

oh I love smoking and doing a crossword puzzle in the bath.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity is a rock and roll rules-breakin' rebel! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, it was art! Just like the subsequent work 'Blancmange in the Road' was too...Emma, baths are places of relaxation, therefore why not eat and read in them?

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

The bath tub has rules? Where is my copy? Did it go fat?

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never understood why people want to read or eat in baths, it's so impractical that it would stop me from enjoying any part of it. I have tried reading in the bath and the hassle involved in not getting the book wet removes any element of relaxation. And smoking! Ew! The bath is for getting clean and fragrant not for getting stinky and dirty.

― Emma, Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Eating in the bath does seem strange.

With smoking you get a good head rush.

Reading is fun because it seems like something your parents wouldn't allow.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Eating in the bath is not as strange as eating the bath.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, the smoking was when I was younger and didn't want parents to find out. Bathroom has added benefit of nice smelling products to mask smoke, plus nice skylight to air room, and also tooth brushing facilities. As long as I hid the ashtray and concealed it upon emerging from the bathroom I was never going to get caught. Sadly, I hid the ashtray in my drawer and my mum found it. Darn!

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Did the bath ask to be eaten?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Effort involved in reading in the bath = holding book above water. Not too hard since effort involved in reading in bed = holding book above bed.

WHat other things do people do in the bath then?

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Hopefully the bed is not as wet as the bath..

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

skill involved in reading in the bath: holding book and turning pages with one hand whilst performing ablutory chores with the other

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Good god, is there so little relaxation time available that you have to wash and read at the SAME TIME?

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, it's more that I get bored very easily and have to be doing more than one thing at once. It's not acceptable to me to simply lie in hot water and relax. I can't do that for more than a few minutes. Which is why I listen to the radio whilst reading and bathing.

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes Pete but when you are in the bath your hands get wet and bubbly and then you pick up the book and it gets wet and bubbly too DO YOU SEE? I think we have had this debate before (me and Pete I mean not ILE). Also I like to have baths by candle light and it is too dark to read. If you have the light on it is less relaxing.

― Emma, Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 29 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Thanks teeny. It was rather uggy - but at least my leather paraphenalia, which was stored in the same room, wasn't affected by the water seepage. I think that would have sent me over the edge. I still miss my sexy photos, though.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 27 February 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

Hoory for revivals.
I've never dropped a book in water.
But, to make up for this, when I was twelve or so, I lent a friend of mine a copy of "The neverending story", and he PUKED on it.
The pages kept changing colour for a week after.

Thank god it didn't get fat and soggy too, as that'd be, uhm, disgusting.

Sad to say, my friend didn't grow up to be a literary critic, despite such a wonderful beginning.

― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

^- ^:Increase your BOOK :SIZE

― Le Coq, Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I dropped "invisible cities" in the toilet once!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 19 February 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

i dropped 'philosophical investigations' in the toilet once. the two copies i tried to replace that one with have not properly done so.

― Josh (Josh), Monday, 9 May 2005 06:39 (twenty years ago)

investigate THAT so-called ludwig!!

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 9 May 2005 08:29 (twenty years ago)

As a kid I threw up on my copy Great Northern by Arthur Ransome I was distaught until my mum pointed out we could buy another copy.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 9 May 2005 10:30 (twenty years ago)

i once left a nice art history book out on the patio while i went inside to get a drink on a beautiful sunny day. at some point, between retrieving the coke and returning to the back door, a downpour opened up. needless to say my book went fat. (and the cover washed off.)

― strng hlkngtn, Monday, 9 May 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

Reading in the bathtub is one of those things that seems like it would be really fun, but in fact the whole experience is nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. You have to find the correct position, worry about dropping the book, then your hands get cold while your body gets overheated - it's ultimately disappointing.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 9 May 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

Tell that to my girlfriend.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Monday, 9 May 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

what a great thread title

― broken down (noisemeltdown), Monday, 9 May 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

I read "the Plague" exclusively in the bath. it was already kind of ripply and I just let it get all rippled up and fat. It was my bath book!

― kyle (akmonday), Monday, 9 May 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

Why does the idea of ripply, fat books strike me as so adorable?

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 9 May 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

it's like fat bees!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 9 May 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

Awwww!

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 9 May 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

I can't believe all this whining I'm hearing about the difficulty of reading in the bath.

I'd never had any of mine get remotely wet, and that's with having a pack of smokes and giant cans of Sapporo out of a small esky on the go as well. And some Fall CDs. I wish my current place had a bath.

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

I've dropped a lifetime's worth of books in the bath, mostly when I was younger (our family home had a great bath, none have compared since). The one I remember most vividly was Trixie Belden & The Mystery Of the Queen's Necklace. I tried having a bath recently, to relax myself, stressed me out more than I was, damn bath was made for midgets, no good ledge to roll up a towel & rest my head on, couldn't stretch my legs so my knees started aching...BAH! I say BAH!!

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 02:27 (twenty years ago)

FAT BEES!

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 02:39 (twenty years ago)

Dude, I wouldn't even know what the mechanics behind actually taking a sit-down bath would entail. The last time I took a bath was when I was maybe six or seven years old and bubble baths were my primary means of getting clean. This house doesn't have a bathroom with a bathtub in it; it was built in an era that emphasized large bedroom sizes and small bathroom sizes, so my bedroom is spacious (I have my computer here!) while the bathroom I use to scrub up in is maybe slightly larger than the size of your average walk-in closet, with the shower space taking up maybe 40% of the total room area.

(xpost) I was expecting that, Kingfish. :)

― Goodbye Indian Summer (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 02:48 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and the obv connection to the whole thread is -- unlike jel, I've yet to figure out a way that ANYONE could take a shower while reading. That's just... not possible in my eyes. Maybe it's because the shower stall I use is kinda on the small side, but how on Earth do you avoid the spray from the shower head?

― Goodbye Indian Summer (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

FAT BEES IZ EVRYWHARE!

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

four years pass...

Why would you read a book in a plastic bag in the shower?

― bamcquern, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 16:25 (fifteen years ago)

Easier and safer than watching the DVD in there.

― this must be what FAIL is really like (ledge), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 16:30 (fifteen years ago)

Can't you just

― bamcquern, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 16:35 (fifteen years ago)

easier than reading a pdf on your laptop in the shower

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 16:36 (fifteen years ago)

Ah Mark remninds me of the hardest ettiquette problem I was ever faced with. What do you do if you are pissing in a trench urinal and the man pissing next to you drops his phone in the trench. Do you stop pissing allowing him to retrieve it whilst signalling that it is in someway okay to use a mobile in a lavatory. Or do you continue pissing to show your disdain.
(Factor in the difficulty of stopping mid flow).
― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 11:20 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Never got questions like this in Scruples.

― unblapped goldmine (onimo), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 16:38 (fifteen years ago)

I treasure this thread title.

― O time thy pyramids (Abbott), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:42 (fifteen years ago)

one year passes...

I treasure this thread title too, and think about it every time I go off for a read in the bath, as I was just about to do (what else can one do on a drizzly, cold miserable sunday?)

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 12:00 (6 years ago)

This is totally the best thing Ive ever read btw.

― Bloompsday (Trayce), Sunday, 24 July 2011 03:37 (fourteen years ago)

i still have my art history book that went fat. it proved hardier than the elements, even if it has no cover now.

― apichathong song (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Sunday, 24 July 2011 03:45 (fourteen years ago)

was not aware that people read in the bath.....................

― writing down my vagina’s sorrows for all the world to see (The Brainwasher), Sunday, 24 July 2011 03:50 (fourteen years ago)

i don't think i'll ever get the beer in shower thing or reading in the tub

― dell (del), Sunday, 24 July 2011 03:51 (fourteen years ago)

i dropped my ipad in the bath and it went bzzt

― Dave Coolaid for Sade (Whiney G. Weingarten), Sunday, 24 July 2011 03:53 (fourteen years ago)

I already spend too long in the shower (no jokes please). If I started drinking beer in the shower, I'd have to get a shower chair

― am I diversified? (blank), Sunday, 24 July 2011 04:09 (fourteen years ago)

Just spent a good half hour having a soak with a face mask on while reading Greg Bear. Now I feel like having a sleep. Its 3pm! Gah.

― Bloompsday (Trayce), Sunday, 24 July 2011 04:53 (fourteen years ago)

Were you reading Blood Music? Maybe it wasn't a face mask. Maybe it was your face mutating and reaching out to the world.

― not bulimic, just a cat (James Morrison), Monday, 25 July 2011 00:44 (fourteen years ago)

Hahah nah it was Eon. I never finish it, I get 3/4 thru and I get all confused. Its such a damn long book.

― Bloompsday (Trayce), Monday, 25 July 2011 00:55 (fourteen years ago)

this thread is the second google result for "went fat" btw

― corey, Monday, 25 July 2011 00:56 (fourteen years ago)

― Bloompsday (Trayce), Monday, 25 July 2011 00:58 (fourteen years ago)

Cannot count the number of times a book has gone for a swim in the bath. The waiting for it to fatten and dry enough to continue reading can be tortuous if it's a can't-put-down read. I'll take paperbacks into the bath with reckless abandon, hardcovers with trepidation - larger loss when have succumbed to the order of the fat tribe - kindle? kindle does not enter the bathroom at all. Period.

― Wiggywoo, Monday, 25 July 2011 01:06 (fourteen years ago)

Kindles you can get waterproof covers for tho you know!

― Bloompsday (Trayce), Monday, 25 July 2011 01:08 (fourteen years ago)

(or as my bf said the otehr day "stuff that just use a ziplock bag" haha wtf)

― Bloompsday (Trayce), Monday, 25 July 2011 01:08 (fourteen years ago)

Tried the waterproof cover, less than satisfactory page image and page turning capabilities I found. I am overall very happy to have many varieties and methods to read; I just have to keep my personal klutz factor in mind and use the appropriate medium in the appropriate venue.

― Wiggywoo, Monday, 25 July 2011 01:14 (fourteen years ago)

I think a genuinely waterproof and still-useable kindle would be the perfect bath toy, to be honest! I never really wanted a kindle, but for that I'd consider.

― Bloompsday (Trayce), Monday, 25 July 2011 01:21 (fourteen years ago)

I've been reading in the bath for nearly 30 years now, and have never dropped a book in. The worst is when the water is too hot and you have to wipe sweat off your forehead so often that it wrecks your concentration.

I left Ender's Game and Blood Meridian in a window sill, though. They went fat. My friend found them when we were on mushrooms and it blew his miiiiind.

― CharlieS, Monday, 25 July 2011 01:27 (fourteen years ago)

at one point I had all my art books piled in front of a window and they went fat after rain leaked through during a storm

― corey, Monday, 25 July 2011 01:35 (fourteen years ago)

damn man, sorry

― CharlieS, Monday, 25 July 2011 01:35 (fourteen years ago)

@Bloompsday - the kindle is a pretty awesome little toy, particularly if you're an avid reader and a) either travel a lot for extended time periods and/or b) carry lots of bulky crap with you on a day-to-day basis. Both of these refer to me. I'd never give up traditional paper books, I love all types of printed material, I see the kindle as an added benefit (kinda like Wi-Fi) and I asked for it as a gift back when it was still $250. They're fab for reading in bright lite conditions compared to ipads, nooks, etc., but they are only for "reading" unlike the ipad... nook is in color so good for magazines and other things that demand color, but I still like the basic book value of the kindle. There are a lot of freebies or 99 cent downloads too that make it pretty cheap to have 1000 books in your hand at a time, and the ability to download a new book in less than a minute and start reading it no matter where you are in the world...priceless.

@CharlieS, LOLOLOL at your friend hypnotized by fat books on sill.

@corey - Wiggy weeps. That's horrible! What a loss!

― Wiggywoo, Monday, 25 July 2011 01:37 (fourteen years ago)

it's fine, they're still readable — just not saleable

― corey, Monday, 25 July 2011 01:38 (fourteen years ago)

iPhone/iPad work great inside a ziploc bag!

― mh, Monday, 25 July 2011 03:34 (fourteen years ago)

delayed lol @ blood music joke

― apichathong song (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, 25 July 2011 03:35 (fourteen years ago)

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