ridiculously OTM descriptions of you by others

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nancy: "if you crossed bernie mac with simon cowell* you'd get you"

(*the snarky british prick from american idol)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 6 March 2003 04:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Bernie Mac?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 6 March 2003 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

any descriptions that include "that guy from High Fidelity" need not apply

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 6 March 2003 04:46 (twenty-three years ago)

you've got House Party III on DVD, right?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 6 March 2003 04:46 (twenty-three years ago)

jess, I don't like bernie mac or simon cowell.

: ((

maybe, in their combination, they would cancel each others badness out.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 6 March 2003 04:48 (twenty-three years ago)

any descriptions that include "that guy from High Fidelity" need not apply depends which guy you mean - Jack Black? *runs off at high speed*

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:03 (twenty-three years ago)

ironically Jack Black was the more likeable character in that wretched film

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:05 (twenty-three years ago)

"Love Machine" and "Brilliant Wit" come to mind as grand descriptions of me. Yes indeed.

Oops, I'm sorry, I was channelling Dan again. The correct answer is, "You freak."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:29 (twenty-three years ago)

"you seem to have a need to be different bordering on the pretentious" - this from my brother.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Dan Perry's description of me is one for the ages.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:35 (twenty-three years ago)

A dearly-loved friend called me "small and feisty" once. I liked that. Who wouldn't? Even if it does kinda make me sound like a chihuaha.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Mike Daddino has a very gentle voice; he slides into conversations with this, "pardon me, but I had a small interjection that is completely appropriate for the reigning zeitgeist" vibe about 85% of the time. The other 15% is showcased when he gets flustered or frustrated because he can't think of that perfectly devastating word that will make his next sentence a bon mot for the ages, at which point his speaking pitch goes up and his candence increases dramatically; it's like watching a supercomputer suddenly crank into solving 30 linear algebra equations simultaneously while rendering a landscape scene. (That's not meant as a criticism, as I have a similar thing going on; my tic when I can't think of a word involves me bringing the conversation to a dead stop and saying, "Um. Um. Um," and waving my hands around while screaming "WORK, BRAIN! WORK! YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A SAD FUCK!" inside my head.)

HAHAHAHA!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:46 (twenty-three years ago)

From the same thread:

Jody, don't hurt me but you have a slight "NPR-commentator-on-caffeine" vibe going on. Your tone has a mild nasal quality with a very clear core and your pacing and enunciation again lead me to believe that you've done stage/radio work or a good amount of public speaking. I realize you're reading and that factors into it, but you're featuring the "It's storytime, my darling child" candance VERY STRONGLY here.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), October 24th, 2002 7:52 AM.

Jody, don't hurt me but you have a slight "NPR-commentator-on-caffeine" vibe going on.

IT'S SATIRE YOU ASSHOLE

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...) (webmail), October 24th, 2002 7:56 AM.

Hey! It's "CUTE WIDDLE ASSHOLE"! Get it RIGHT next time!

-- Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), October 24th, 2002 7:59 AM.

"This is Jody Beth Rosen, for National Public Radio. Today we'll be exploring the ins and outs of Dan Perry's "Cute Widdle Asshole."

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...) (webmail), October 24th, 2002 8:03 AM.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:50 (twenty-three years ago)

The sweet memories of threads gone by.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:53 (twenty-three years ago)

"deeply dippy"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 6 March 2003 06:21 (twenty-three years ago)

i've been told 'jack black from high fidelity', by which i know they mean personality because i'm skinny as a rail. and it's not very OTM.

― Dave M. (rotten03), Thursday, 6 March 2003 06:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I loved how Dan's voice-analyses back then all sounded like wine reviews: "a mild nasal quality with a very clear core!"

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 6 March 2003 07:07 (twenty-three years ago)

My little wu-soldiers at Wantirna Secondary College used to call me 'Joss' and tell me I was the spitting image of the Buffy creator. Is/was that a compliment?

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Thursday, 6 March 2003 07:08 (twenty-three years ago)

My students:

-vegetarian (because I eat pretzels and yogurt)
-a witch who worships the devil (b/c I dress in all black and question any reasoning based on the bible)
-bisexual (not sure about the resoning for this. . .)

― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 6 March 2003 08:14 (twenty-three years ago)

No one's ever described me unless they were paid to (i.e. a music hack). All of those were so far OFF the money to be laughable.

― kate, Thursday, 6 March 2003 08:37 (twenty-three years ago)

mid 70s california girl. laurel canyon w/o the coke. american but escaped. expat isherwood in la vibe except la is london. good hair.

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 6 March 2003 08:56 (twenty-three years ago)

the coolest sad person I've ever met.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 6 March 2003 09:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Patrick Bateman

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 6 March 2003 09:19 (twenty-three years ago)

"You're either on drugs or in need of drugs, I think."
and
"You're a boy-Willow." Both from the same person.

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 6 March 2003 10:09 (twenty-three years ago)

"phil... you live life like a revolving door when someone else is pushing".. he was really high though

― phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 6 March 2003 10:20 (twenty-three years ago)

oldpunks.com: "Colin Meeder posts messages on internet bulletin boards about bass guitar and might be living in Germany."

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 6 March 2003 10:24 (twenty-three years ago)

no one has ever described me. i can't recall.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 6 March 2003 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

"You'll never be the type of person who shops in Next will you Anna?"

From my friend Caroline. I took it as a compliment, but from the tone of her voice I think her meaning was probably closer to the comment made by Jim's brother.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 6 March 2003 10:36 (twenty-three years ago)

"Greg is a record company executive who supplies private armies to his favoured clients. Fearing reprisals after the crack unit of commandos he supplied got lodged up Robbie Willams' arse on a doomed mission to find his head, he has retreated to his bunker to be stroked by Blofeld. His special bunker, with a DVD player, computer and fisher-price record player. Send him mail, he doesn't get enough"

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 6 March 2003 10:53 (twenty-three years ago)

But how will you skateboard in a bunker Greg?

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 6 March 2003 11:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm absolutely certain that the best description of me will have been muttered by one Mr. Pete Baran, at university. While I wasn't there.

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 6 March 2003 11:15 (twenty-three years ago)

But how will you skateboard in a bunker Greg?

dunno. i could ollie off the roof, i guess.

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 6 March 2003 11:18 (twenty-three years ago)

This would require someone finding something interesting about me.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 6 March 2003 11:21 (twenty-three years ago)

People only describe me behind my back.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:28 (twenty-three years ago)

a bully

― hstencil, Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:31 (twenty-three years ago)

bnw once said I was like the party in high school that you drove around all night looking for only to find out it didn't exist anyway. I am not sure if that was a good thing.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:40 (twenty-three years ago)

JBR, I've been told I sound like an NPR commentator as well, except I was also described as sounding like PHIL HARTMAN. dude, I'M A CHICK, I'M SUPPOSED TO SOUND HOT.

― Mandee, Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:47 (twenty-three years ago)

level-headed.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:49 (twenty-three years ago)

"You're a boy-Willow."

This roughly translates into "You are the hottest thing imaginable."

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought you dreamt of Spike.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Me? Lust after Spike? Fuck no. You're confusing me with my bandmate. I'm more of a Xander fan, but really a boy-Willow would trump anything. Heck, even girl-Willow might have an edge.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:05 (twenty-three years ago)

My workmate just said I would make a bad lawyer. I was prepared to take offense, but then she said that it's because I moderate my statements too easily, and have a tendency to seek agreement. Basically: I'm too much of a pussy. That doesn't really offend me, because it's accurate.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:06 (twenty-three years ago)

i cant think of any interesting descriptions of myself. there has been a post of ilx describing people in general that hit close to home for me (at least me at my worst). i forget where it was, and who said it, but someone said something about "not being able to hold the hands of savants who need to be told how smart they are" or something like that.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Some guy at the place I got my lunch from said, "you look like a very young Christopher Reeve." I had to ask, "do you mean before he fell on his head?"

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I asked a friend of mine for a description of me (which I guess is cheating) and this is what she said: "I would say that your opinion of yourself is not accurate. You sell yourself short too often. Of course, part of your charm is your near-constant self-deprecation, but you're harder on yourself than you should be. I think that you're a smart guy, a cool guy (please don't ask me to define cool). You throw a fun party. You're an excellent cook. I learn things from you. I think you are kind and respectful and generous. I trust you." She's obviously thinking of somebody else.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Not quite a description exactly... but years ago a friend told me she could always tell when I was flirting with someone because I looked like someone in a musical comedy about to burst into song.

I have not flirted quite as confidently ever since.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think anyone's ever bothered to describe me (to my face anyway).

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 6 March 2003 20:53 (twenty-three years ago)

"silent" is the one that bothers me. i don't do much incidental blathering and it makes some people nervous.

― Aaron A., Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:07 (twenty-three years ago)

N. (kind of) called me a 'renaissance man' recently, which was very flattering. If we're talking about being OTM, though, the fellow who shouted "fat c*nt" at me while I was looking in a shop window recently was probably closer to the mark.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I get 'mad scientist', 'tragic genius' or 'crazy genius' on a fairly regular basis from all sorts of people who are meeting me for the first time.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Tim, they could both be right. (N is closer, though.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:04 (twenty-three years ago)

My mate Oli to his friends at uni a few years ago (when I was about 19/20) - "This is Nick; you'll think he's a cunt for a while but he's actually not."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:05 (twenty-three years ago)

"law talkin' baseball groupie[ ] gone wild!"

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:16 (twenty-three years ago)

One of my lecturers at uni also decribed me as "the kind of person who comes across as taking lots of drugs. You don't? Wow."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:21 (twenty-three years ago)

"silent" is the one that bothers me. i don't do much incidental blathering and it makes some people nervous.

substitute "quiet" for me. I hate it when their need to fill up empty moments w/blathering rubs off on me.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)

jim derogatis...no!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:36 (twenty-three years ago)

"the snarky British prick"

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I just described you on the smoking girls thread, Andrew: "the Werner Roth Beast". Of little descriptive use to most, I expect, but surely fair and accurate, albeit not of my coining.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I was once called "a cutting edge that never seems to dull" by the editor of a weekly freebie newspaper I used to write a music column for, but I think that was a bit of wishful thinking on his part.

More recently, "irascibly opinionated" hit a bullseye.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:10 (twenty-three years ago)

"you're very much your own person" - my boss, this week. Possibly the tritest thing anyone's said about me, but undeniably OTM. Not sure who else's person I'd be...

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:16 (twenty-three years ago)

on one of those airy fairy "what personality are you" things training managers seem to like we had to talk about our favourite animal and why we liked it. this was then turned to supposedly reflect who you were and what you liked about yourself.

I was an aging, half crippled, faithful bull terrier.

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:24 (twenty-three years ago)

andrew l is simon cowell shocker!!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"you big verse-writing, indie-loving pansy. " -- sundar

(Ally - it's a backhanded compliment. Driving around and looking for a non-existant party is always more fun then the actual party.)

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 7 March 2003 01:51 (twenty-three years ago)

The actual phrase was "blowhard bully". Flagilate yourself with the proper whip.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 7 March 2003 09:36 (twenty-three years ago)

When did I say that? You're not big at all.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Friday, 7 March 2003 09:41 (twenty-three years ago)

from JBR: "the drunker I am the funnier you get." yes, and I do card tricks, too.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 7 March 2003 09:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Ok... ...so now it's a happy Mark Viduka?

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Friday, 7 March 2003 09:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I met the author of this text in Glasgow in the mid-nineties; he’d just published his first book. He was a friend of Iain Banks, who I had become friends with after a couple of trips he’d taken to Dublin. We spent a week together in Glasgow. Almost a year later the author sent me a draft copy of his second book and asked what I thought of the dedication: ‘To Lara Byrne, for an inspiration and a genotype’. I was flattered that I’d made such an impression as he’d based the main female character on me. This is where she appears:

Among the faces in the crowd, something focuses in on one face. A woman’s face, tracked briefly as she threads her way between the other bodies on the street. The system’s evaluation routines categorize her appearance swiftly: apparent age about twenty, height over one-meter sixty – well below average – mass slightly above average. Her height is lifted within normal range by high-heeled shoes, her figure accentuated by a long-sleeved, skinny-rib sweater and a long narrow skirt, skillfully slit so it doesn’t impede her quick steps. Shoulder-length hair, black and thick, sways around her pretty face and memorable but not flipping any switches on the systems’ scalar aesthetic – wide cheekbones, full lips, large eyes with green irises and suddenly narrowing pupils that look straight at the hidden lens that’s giving her this going-over. One eye closes in what looks like a wink.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 10:30 (twenty-three years ago)

'Anorexic mutant' - NME (back when they were almost readable)

― dave q, Friday, 7 March 2003 11:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Me: "And then she insisted that we rent Sweet Home Alabama with Reese Witherspoon."
Friend: "You know, I can't possibly think of a more un-Joe-like movie!!"

― Joe (Joe), Friday, 7 March 2003 11:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Sean Carruthers says: "That's it, from now on I'm calling you Tiger Balm Nuts."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 7 March 2003 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

trife:"the demolition man"

N:"Ronan looks like a teddybear"

The second one is definitely true

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 7 March 2003 15:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Seconded - that's how I recognised you IN A BUSY BAR.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Of me (not Ronan -ha!): "You are shaped like a foxy foxtrel with boobs."

So true, it hurts...

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 15:11 (twenty-three years ago)

The actual phrase was "blowhard bully". Flagilate yourself with the proper whip.

Oh yeah, thanks Colin I couldn't remember it correctly!

― hstencil, Friday, 7 March 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I live to serve.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 7 March 2003 18:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Only my own descriptions of me are OTM, because people I know are apt to be outrageously positive about me. :)

Hold on, though... I have variously been called:

*a complete nutter
*an ugly cunt
*a minger
*someone with a really shitty attitude towards humanity
*high maintenance
*profoundly unreasonable

I don't necessarily dispute *all* of those. Although I think my attitude to humanity is really quite realistic.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Friday, 7 March 2003 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Melancholy Ironist (JtN)

― the pinefox, Friday, 7 March 2003 18:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Dom Passantino is God. Lets all have a moment of respectful silence.

....

Amen.

-- Lord Custos Epsilon (L.Custo...), March 8th, 2003. (later)

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 7 March 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

sundar: Here! And don't make me challenge you to a skinny wimp fight.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 7 March 2003 23:56 (twenty-three years ago)

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