And all at once I have a sister.

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I've been an only child (or so I thought) for the last 24 years. Nope, I've had an older sister all along. This is as much of a surprise to my father as it is to me. Her name is Hedi and she's 34. Why I'm telling ILX I don't know. I found out ten minutes ago. I am shocked, but interested and not upset. This is probably the oddest thing that's happened to me.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

wow.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

That's interesting, Anna. Tell us all about it when you learn more.

A few years ago my mom learned that she had another brother who was put up for adoption, but she decided that if he ever got in contact with her, she would refuse to speak with him. She had a horrible childhood and didn't want the adopted brother to know how bad it would have been had he stuck around.

In other news, I always wished I had an older sister, but now I'm glad I didn't. I got more attention and new clothes as the oldest.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have any other brothers or sisters?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Anna said she's an only child.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

The dumbest! (*slapping my head)

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I found out six years ago that I had a 5 year old nephew, and that everybody else in my family had known all along.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

That's f-ed up!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Why didn't they tell you, Horace?

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

ditto horace's story, 'cept make that about 3 years ago. oh, and not a nephew, a niece. and not 5, 12.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

After mt Dad died, I became very interested in tracing my family tree for some reason. I discovered that my Dad had an older brother that none of his family had ever spoken about - there had been some family feud or something. I never did get to the bottom of what had happened, and it made me really sad. This new uncle of mine died the year before my Dad did, and I feel a bit cheated that was never able to meet him :(

― C J (C J), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

As trite as it sounds, I hope she's cool... or reasonable, or receptive to you (or whatever it is you like about a person). If so, what a gift.

(that's to Anna... but I hope your preteen niece is cool, too, mitch!)

― Aaron A., Monday, 14 April 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

My sister was pregnant in high school and had the baby and gave it up for adoption. I suspected something but no one ever said anything to me about it (I was young). I finally asked about it 20 years later.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a relative (I'm not getting any more specific than that) that was adopted, and ze is the only one in the family that doesn't know about it. Ze's nearly forty.

(This is exactly how my family deals with everything, BTW.)

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I was 15 at the time of the pregnancy, and I don't know, I guess I've always sort of stayed an arm's length from the family. But it really fucked me up, because I got in so many fights after my sister suddenly moved away with people who said she was pregnant and I felt I needed to defend her honour. It turned out I was too late. But I got in serious fist-fights (and always lost, of course).
Then my sister dropped the bomb on my at (one of) my (many) going away party(s) when I was 20, long after I was real drunk and looped and sentimental anyway. She gave me a photo of the kid.
Then suddenly, my parents were getting Christmas cards and school photos and displaying them and I was just totally thrown. Even my young young brothers knew. Even my rabidly Catholic grandmother knew.

Not to distract from Anna's situation though. Families are so friggin' weird. That's why I don't ride bareback (as Merle Haggard says).

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got cousins I've never met - my dad's older brother died before I was born and I didn't know he'd had a family until quite recently. Not quite the same as finding out you've got a sister though, that's just...well I don't know what it is, and I expect you don't either yet.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Ditto Anna's original post - although I think I was only 16 or 17 when I found out.

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

So what are you imagining right now? I mean, are you wondering about meeting her, knowing her, etc? Does the backstory to this change your perceptions of everything? It sounds like you've got through the first ten minutes okay: if you can hold onto the just-completely-baffled emotion for more than a day or two, things will be fine and this could be really fascinating -- because it sort of changes who "you" are. (Or at least that's the best-case-scenario that's come of my finding out weird things about my own family.)

Sorry, we're going to be like tabloid journalists, do tell, do tell! I feel like I know this impulse, where it's just like this odd and massive piece of information has just plopped into your lap and you have no idea what you're supposed to do with it or how you're supposed to feel about it or anything. You just sit there pointing and going "oh my god, look at that strange bit! and check out this part over here!" (We will all be here to read your pointing and identifying. Also, would a Buffy joke be of any help?)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

For the longest time I thought I didn't have any close cousins on my mom's side of the family because my uncle hadn't been married, and seemingly had no kids; apparently that wasn't true, though. Somehow no one had ever thought to mention to me that he'd actually had a son when he was much much younger, and the son had gone off to live with his mother and there was very little contact between the two. The son tracked my uncle down again a couple of years ago, and he's been at family events ever since.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Anna, and all at once you have a *story*. This is really cool. Remember EVERYTHING.

My cousin, who is adopted, lost both adoptive parents by the time she was 23. She got in touch with her birth mother, who didn't want to know - and is still suffering from depression and inertia due to all of those things.

I'm glad your dad is happy to acknowledge your sister as such. If my cousin was granted this small mercy, she might be in much better shape.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

*story*.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

This is incredible, something else interesting happening when Trinny and Susannah's on. The world's gone mad.

― Graham (graham), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

(Also Anna, do you still check in on your J.Mitchell-themed account?)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

A friend of mine said she was walking down the halls at school once and a girl came up to her and said "Hi, Jane.. I'm your sister." Turns out she really was her half-sister, and she'd never known about her. It fucking freaked her out.

― Mandee, Monday, 14 April 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow indeed! I hope she doesn't prove to be an energy being who could destroy the universe! She probably won't be! Good luck!

(I was adopted and have never tracked down my biological relatives, so I guess I could find myself in something like this kind of position, if I ever did etc.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 14 April 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Just over two weeks ago I found out that I have four sisters, not three. The newest one is called Shannon, and she's 37. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.

― Jodi (Celerina), Monday, 14 April 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry. I meant three sisters, not two. I was counting myself. You can tell how crazy this has made me.

― Jodi (Celerina), Monday, 14 April 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

This sort of thing seems to happen a lot to people around here.

― slutsky (slutsky), Monday, 14 April 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I found out when I was about 17 that I had an older sister that everyone in the family knew about but me (my mom swears she told me when I was a kid, but you don't forget things like that). My sister is great, but an alcoholic and we lost her to that a few years ago. She's not dead, mind, but she loves the drink more than anything else, including herself - she's demented and refuses to speak to any of the family anymore. I don't know where she is now... I miss her.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 14 April 2003 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

That's pretty mind blowing, I hope it all works out in the way you want it to.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 07:37 (twenty-two years ago)

... and the world rejoices at there being one more Fielding out there! Wow Anna... I'm starting to wonder whether you have the most bizarre soap-opera life of anyone on here (and I mean that in a good way!)

I assume whether this turns out to be a good thing or a bad thing depends on so many things - whether your mum's still in touch with her, what your dad thinks about all this etc etc. I don't know how I'd react to such a thing, but I hope it all works out for the best :)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 07:50 (twenty-two years ago)

(she's anna's father's daughter rather than her mother's daughter, matt.)

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 08:03 (twenty-two years ago)

(This may be off the topic, but...)

I found my "little sister" at high school. I suddenly met a girl with whom I felt familiar right from the beginning; we've been best friends ever since. There never was anything sexual or romantic in our relationship, we've always had this sisterly/brotherly love-hate thing going on. For example, she's the only one I ever have physical fights with. I know there's nothing extraordinary about this, but it still was amazing, how we both had this feeling of "I know you" right from the start.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I am another member of the Secret Niece Brigade. Found out she existed when she was four, only met her a year or so ago when she was twelve. My parents are a little more standoffish about her than I'd like -- she's a lovely girl.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 08:10 (twenty-two years ago)

hope it works out OK Anna

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah Anna, hope everything is OK.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Coo. Is she single?

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Anna needs to watch this movie.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

She is too old for you, Pete. Much more in my age territory, surely...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

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