Flapjacks: Search and Destroy

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And I ain't talking the North American pancakes meaning!

So, do you prefer the standard granola or fruit flavoured?

Or do you like the new, high-fallutin' flavours like Bakewell Tart and Chocolate Orange and Cappucino?

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Yum, Bakewell Tart flavour is my new favourite. Though Chocolate Orange is pretty close behind. Anything chocolate is good - it's like eating candy but you can pretend it is healthy and good for you!

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

cherry and sultana. I can't stand any of the ones with topping, unless it's a nice sharp yoghurt one.

And I've voiced my concerns about the bakewell one elsewhere.

Don't tell me, it's iced with a cherry on top? The fools.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I take my flapjacks as god intended.

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it is cherry and almond flavoured, with a nice bakewell look topping!

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread will die now because all the English are leaving their offices and going home. Sigh, alas, alack.

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Search ones of my own devising which feature butter and as many syrups and sugars I can get my hands on, golden, maple, honey muscovado sugar. MMMMM.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Leave flapjacks alone. Save your ire for parkin.

― fougasse (Jake Proudlock), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate if it has a true bakewell look top then it will look lumpy and puffy and brown, with no hint of white icing or cherry. At least they got the flavourings right. Apart from it should really be strawberry iirc.

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 07:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I will defend parkin to the death. Spiced yorkshire cake with such a great texture.. Fougasse I challege you to a duel.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 11 July 2003 07:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Flapjacks are GROSS and like eating sugar-flavoured sawdust. If I'm going to have a sweet snack, it's better if it isn't Good For Me. Also the heavy oat content and the occasional interloping peanut butter flavour gives me the Proustian shudders because I am reminded of the Minnewegian scout-troop snack they just call BARS. And bars are VILE.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 11 July 2003 07:44 (twenty-two years ago)

trust me, there is nothing good for you about my flap jacks.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 11 July 2003 07:46 (twenty-two years ago)

How on earth are flapjacks good for you? They are made out of about 10 tons of butter and sugar and sit as heavily on your stomach as a gravestone. ick.

― Emma, Friday, 11 July 2003 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It's the oats thing, flapjacks are too much like midwest US snack bars for me to ever want one anywhere near me. Also the stomach ballast thing, yucch.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 11 July 2003 07:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Oats are good for you. Flapjacks are good for you. My mum used to make a version of flapjacks that she called "crunchies" (even though they weren't crunchy at all) in an effort to get us to eat our oats.

Syrup and sugar and butter... yum! As posted on another thread, there is a coffee stall type place called AME or A&M or A&E or something like that which sells flapjacks that are so buttery they melt in your mouth and are simply DEEEEE-VINE!!! And large chips made of proper chocolate, rather than that nasty chocolate-flavoured topping stuff that they generally put on top of "chocolate" flapjacks.

And if you try telling me that bakewell tarts are not supposed to have that white icing with the knife-crossed pattern on them then you are simply delusional. End of story.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 08:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, I am from about 5 miles from Bakewell, I know about this, there is no icing on a bakewell pudding.

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 08:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/bakewellpudding_3375.shtml

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 08:32 (twenty-two years ago)

A TART AND A PUDDING ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

Don't be freaking foolish.

I mean, if you asked Ally "Are you a tart?" she'd probably say yes. If you asked Ally "Are you a pudding?" she'd hit you with her handbag.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 08:40 (twenty-two years ago)

my point = bakewell tart = doesn't exist = IT'S ALL WRONG!!!!

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame Mr Kipling.

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Bakewell Tart does so exist! I can go down the shops and buy one! Therefore it exists! That's like saying "Chocolate exists, and oranges exist, but chocolate oranges do not occur in nature, therefore they DO NOT EXIST!!!!" when any fule can go down Sainsburys and buy a Terry's.

And don't start talking about how in the olden days food was better etc. etc. when we all know that the only things people ate until the 19th Century were ALE AND GRUEL!!!

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

It ain't no proper food though, it's a bastardisation, and has nowt to do with Bakewell. Like I said, I blame Mr Kipling

You know what I mean anyway, and are just spoiling for a fight.

mmmmm Ale and Gruel

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:09 (twenty-two years ago)

It would be a bastardisation if they continued calling it Bakewell Pudding. But they don't. It is a different food, a YUMMY different food called Bakewell TART and you are an old curmudgeon who is afraid of fun, the future, and probably Tarts as well. So there.

(Next you'll be complaining about modern money, pounds and pence, my arse, in my day it was all Groats and England hasn't been the same since they abolished the Danelaw!)

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a darn sight younger than you Kate ;o)

The tarts have nothing whatsoever to do with Bakewell, and that is my last word on the matter.

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, and French Fries have nothing to do with France. You don't see people calling them Freedom Fries or anything else so goofy... D'oh!

I now ordain it a Freedom Tart. So there.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course they are named after france, they are cut in the French style i.e. a thick julienne, rather than the fat chips that we have over here!

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, I actually really like flapjack *ducks*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:30 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, then. English Muffins. Naught to do with England! Explain that away!

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I have no idea what you're talking about, do you mean breakfast muffins? or those big sweet things?

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean English Muffins. No one in England has ever heard of them. Yet they keep their name. So Bakewell Tart remains Bakewell Tart, no matter how they make their pudding in Bakewell.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.foodsubs.com/Photos/englishmuffin.jpg

They are usually served toasted. I think their closest English relative is a crumpet. An extremely STALE and over-inflated crumpet.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, now you're just referring to wacky American names for things! You Yanks are Crazy!

That Kate is a breakfast muffin, you get them in Marks' or in Sainsburys and you split and toast them.

A Crumpet (or Pikelet) is an amazingly different beastie, being made from batter rather than from a dough as that breakfast muffin you just posted is.

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

That is not a breakfast muffin. That is an ENGLISH MUFFIN.

Just as a Bakewell Tart is a Bakewell Tart.

Good god, Is there any subject so banal that ILE will not discuss it?

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, to get back on topic:

http://www.blackfriarsbakery.co.uk/shop/images/f4.gif

So there. It says quite clearly "Bakewell Flapjack" and it hath icing and knife-patterns.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I never said that it didn't exist, just that it was so wrong on so many levels, please tell me what the hell that has to do with Bakewell?

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 09:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I would call what Kate posted an English muffin too. I have never heard this term 'breakfast' muffin. And crumpets are not the same as pikelets, crumpets are fatter and pikelets are flattish.

― Emma, Friday, 11 July 2003 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

yes Emma, but they're both batter based.

We call 'em breakfast muffins anyway.

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

What-EVER! It was given as an example. Can we go back to talking about flapjacks now?

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't like the idea of foodstuffs named after the meal they are supposed to be eaten at. It is too bossy. eg 'luncheon meat' (which should never be eaten at all really), 'tea' which is delicious at any time of day. And so on.

― Emma, Friday, 11 July 2003 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

(Ha-hem. The meal of "tea" was named after the foodstuff, not vice versa.)

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(yes I know I was trying to be funny. I have learned my lesson and will not try again)

― Emma, Friday, 11 July 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

(I was also making a joke. Being as pedantic as those who insist that new foodstuffs should not carry the placename of the foodstuffs they were based on. Ah well. This humour thing is hard!)

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, flapjacks. why are they called that anyway?

― Emma, Friday, 11 July 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Pedants, where are you now that we need you?

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Experimental Flapjack Research.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

re: flapjacks. there is only one flapjack that has any meaning .the brand? "the handmade flapjack co". the flavour? simply, "fruit"., this flapjack is better than any other in existence and i will categorically refuse to eat any other.

re: toppings. these are the worst things ever.
also, destroy anything made by the 'fabulous bakin' boys'. fuck them.

re: muffins. they are not called breakfast muffins. they ae not called english muffins. they ARE 'muffins'. that is a muffin! the default! others are deviations, which need qualifying adjectives!
those cupcake things are something totally different and should always be preceded by some sort of gross flavour, to indicate their not-muffiness.

― ambrose (ambrose), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

re: the research quoted aboive.

what sort of person makes flapjacks into little cake cup things? WTF??

― ambrose (ambrose), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

American muffins are very different from English cupcake-style "muffins". (English muffins, not English Muffins). Their consistency is totally different, and they are not as sickeningly sweet. A real muffin is nothing like a cupcake.

Blackfriars Flapjacks are great. But I'm also sold on the RJ brand.

I prefer the moist and chewy flapjacks to the dry and crunchy ones. I am so glad that I now know this is all in the cooking for long times at low temperature. Thank you, Experimental Flapjack Research!

(I now have to convince HSA to get into Experimental Cooking. This is an excellent idea.)

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

X-post, sorry... I think that the cupcake things are so that he can remove different flapjacks after differing amounts of time. Normally they are just baked on a big tray, but you couldn't exactly take a quater of the tray out after ten minutes, could you?

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I call English muffins English muffins because I've only ever eaten them in America. Er, what I mean is that I'd never heard of them in England, so I call them by their American name. Does that make sense? They're very nice, fwiw.

Re: flapjacks - Stevie T to thread!

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 11 July 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I am eating a flapjack right now. Chocolate Orange flavoured. Yum.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread deeply confuses me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 11 July 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

now im confused. earlier, Kate posted a picture of two discs of bread, or rather a sort of yo yo cut in two. this is what i can a muffin. however, her caption underneath said that their equivalent in enlgand is a crumpet?!

are they what you are calling an 'English' muffin? or a 'breakfast' muffin?
because to me, that is a muffin.

my ire really stems from the fact that it seems to be harder and harder to get hold of these (two-round-slices-of-bread-that-you-put- butter-and-marmite-on)muffins nowadays in england.

― ambrose (ambrose), Friday, 11 July 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I have looked at the work muffin so much it is confusing me! I want a Biscuit - the American kind.

I do like the English Muffin ((two-round-slices-of-bread-that-you-put- butter-and-JAM!-on) very much and much prefer them to Crumpets - I shall try to find them in Sainsbury's listed as Breakfast Muffin!

― marianna, Friday, 11 July 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Ambrose, you are right, Kate is slightly mental. I call it a breakfast muffin, or just "a muffin" and Sainsburys still do them.

the crumpet was a red herring

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 July 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

The crumpet was a red herring.

BUT DAMMIT, THIS THREAD IS ABOUT FLAPJACKS!!! NOT BLOODY MUFFINS!!!

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Muffins stuffed with BLOOD.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 11 July 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Stuffin' Martha's muffins... Get yer red wings!

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Biscuit = scone, no?

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 11 July 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

How odd it is that both crumpet and tart are euphemisms for women. And I once went out with a girl called Lucinda Bakewell.

― fougasse (Jake Proudlock), Friday, 11 July 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm in a bad mood now. Let's talk about more baked goods, please.

― kate (kate), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG, I ate these all the time when I was in the UK. I can't remember any of the flavors, though. I'd buy one at the grocery/convenience store at the end of campus, and eat it on my way back to my room. It'd usually take me a while; those suckers are dense!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Lucinda Bakewell to thread!

Kate - how would you feel about a roll?

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The USA doesn't have anything that's so cheap, easy-to-come-by, and FILLING, for a perfect tide-you-over-until-dinner snack.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it true that Americans don't put cloves in apple pies?

― fougasse (Jake Proudlock), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Proper Bakewell Tart doesn't have tooth devouring icing on top, that's just an invention of the evil Mr Kipling.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

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