What is the polite way to tell a coworker that their lunch stinks?

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This contractor/consultant that's doing some work near my department is eating something that smells vaguely asian-gym-sock-flavored-reheated-after-several-months-in-the-refrigerator.

What is the proper and professional protocol in this situation?

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I walked by and saw something eggplant-ish, it could be mediterranean but the smell is best described as RIPE.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Dump it on their head.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Say 'jesus, what died in here? Holy cow, really... something's rotting or a cow took a dump under someone's desk... whooooooeeee... oh, sorry, is that your lunch? Dude, it smells like a dead wino's ass, how can you eat that crap?"

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

much thanx ladies, yet please note: "polite, professional"

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

and it is a woman.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

perhaps something more subtle like:
"if you need some extra monkey jizz to go with that, i think i got some in my bag"

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Spit on her.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

The proper and professional protocol is to say nothing and gag on it quietly, and to yourself.

You want results, you come to Ally and me.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Professional at my workplace: see the "sociopathic dicks" thread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

With my boss I usually go for the subtle "What the fucking hell is that that you're eating?"

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

the smell has either subsided or i'm experiencing olfactory adaptation.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

My friends eat some horrible smelling Chinese food like 4 times a week, you get used to it and learn to kind of ignore it at least a little bit.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Polite professionals in my experience don't bring it up.

What'd she do anyway? Microwave a bowl of kimchi? In that case just have her killed.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Are they in their own office? If so, close the door. Then spritz air freshener outside

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

next time you have to make coffee, just give her a little extra "cream" if you get my drift.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

and it is a woman.

after you follow Ally and Luna's sage advice, add:
"and where did you get that dress? Its awful . . . and those shoes, and that coat, Jesus."
etc, until she cries.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

at my old job, i would occasionally eat kippers. one day, one of the partners walked by and made a joke about them. that was how i was made to know (diplomatically) that they were a little too smelly to eat in my office.

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

If that doesn't work, grab whatever she's eating and turn it over on her head.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

(Spencer is on a fucking role lately... I picture him saying this as Johnny in Airplane!)

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

You know what I hate? The smell of prawn cocktail flavoured crisps. Stinks out a room in two seconds. Why is the flavour ten times stronger than actual prawn cocktail?

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooh I think I work with Spencer!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

lol, i love that really kamp guy in airplane, the guy working with lloyd bridges, dammit im trying to think of all the funny things he says but i can't remember anything, stupid brain.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not worse than chicke-flavored crisps. As if you want to be kissed after he has a bag of that!

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I should note that it is in fact a direct quote from Airplane! Johnny.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

if yer office has a dining area, then they should be asked to eat their stinky food there.

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

A radio station I used to listen to had an impromptu call-in contest one time called "why does the intern's lunch smell like ass?" -- listeners called in and tried to guess what the intern's lunch was, given only the hint that it smelled like ass. (Listener: "Is it a sandwich?" DJ: "What kind of sandwich would smell like ass?")

Pretty sure the intern got the hint.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Memorable Quotes from Airplane! (1980)

Steve McCroskey: This fog is getting thicker!
Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger!

Johnny: Well, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripe, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol!

Steve McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make out of this?
[Hands him the weather briefing]
Johnny: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl -

Steve McCroskey: Get me someone who won't crack under pressure!
Johnny: How about Mister Rogers?

Johnny: [plugging back in the runway lights] Just kidding!

Johnny: The tower, the tower, Rapunzel!

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha, brings it all back

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not worse than chicke-flavored crisps

Oh, the images.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.usatoday.com/life/special/millennium/tv/othicke.jpg

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do four of those quotations go completely over my head?

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 31 July 2003 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

because they're in an AIRPLANE! hahahahahaha

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 31 July 2003 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

/me slaps teeny around with a large trout

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 31 July 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

it's rude - let her eat then get on with your work... i hate it when people in my office come round to my desk and virtually stick their face in what i'm eating then walk off going: "phew". they have to smell it, fine, i'm the one who's actually eating it... just makes me get far more dreid anchovy on my nasi goreng the next time if i'm being honest - tastes fab and annoys people i work with = a great meal

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 31 July 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

damn straight

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 1 August 2003 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

/me slaps Leee around with a bad mirc script

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 1 August 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree w/Dave. People eat smelly food. Deal with it.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 1 August 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"you eat shit for breakfast?"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 1 August 2003 05:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Although, ideally, I'd work in an office where my co-workers were comfortable enough with me to employ Ally and/or Luna's advice.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 1 August 2003 05:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to do microwave popcorn at work and there was one guy who would always piss and moan about the smell. Stuff you, thinks I, I'm having my DINNER.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 1 August 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh man, I HATE that smell. Awful.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 1 August 2003 06:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Feel Like Making Lunch

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 1 August 2003 06:33 (twenty-two years ago)

somebody complained about the smell of popcorn, Trayce? how odd.

start bringing those curried egg sangers to work gygax! that or cop it sweet!!

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 1 August 2003 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

somebody complained about the smell of popcorn, Trayce? how odd.

Not just popcorn...MICROWAVE popcorn. The stuff nearly makes me gag.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 1 August 2003 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

my favorite aiplane! quote:

Captain: Joey, have you ever been in a, in a Turkish prison?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 1 August 2003 09:15 (twenty-two years ago)

You have popcorn for dinner?

― thoth (Jake Proudlock), Friday, 1 August 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"LUNCH STINKS.....YEAH, YEAH......LUNCH STINKS!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 1 August 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

True story!

Joey from Airplane! is a young man named Ross Harris who these days in his spare time is a musician in Sukia and DJ Me/DJ You and has performed on record and live with Beck and Minekawa Takako.

He lives in Somis, CA (near OXNARD!). Oh and he's very nice and super funny.

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 1 August 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Just say, 'sorry to hear you got fired. Only joking, but seriously, your food stinks'!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 1 August 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

leave them alone and let them eat in peace!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 1 August 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

" your vagina stinks!"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 1 August 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

But surely that's a Spoonered chat up line?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 1 August 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"so! when does your food smell worse? before it goes into you, or after it comes out?"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 1 August 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

of all the rude suggestions, i think Kingfish has trumped all with the above.

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 1 August 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey, you know how you're always telling me I stink when I get back from a smoke?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, your lunch smells like shit and that stuff comes out your pores."

― Scaredy Cat, Friday, 1 August 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, now that we've got all the polite ones out of the way, how about some rude ones everybody!!!

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 1 August 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I love microwave popcorn, but if you leave it in too long and it gets burnt, that really stinks. And it's very hard to get that smell out of the kitchen once you've got it, too.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Friday, 1 August 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

How about this-- start making gagging noises and coughing, then walk over to her desk and pretend you're about to blow chunks any minute. :-P Then screech "Air! Must... get... air!!" and go into a dead faint. I'm sure she'll get the picture. And it isn't *really* confrontational, is it? ;-)

― Jasmine U. (Jasmine U.), Friday, 1 August 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

of all the rude suggestions, i think Kingfish has trumped all with the above.

I RULE.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/450000/images/_450015_american_beauty150.jpg

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 1 August 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

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