Things that really really make you wish you were high

So I'm coming back from getting my 'lunch' and I stumble into this Grand Prize Freak in a homemade pseudo-Darth Vader get-up (a kind of helmet with a big backwards metal brim welded to it, face exposed; weird metal pieces extending from the temples and meeting five or six inches before his mouth to form some kind of exaggerated chinstrap contraption; a breastplate of fused scrapmetal odds and ends, a heavy metal slab, to which a rolled-up yoga mat is attached, strapped to his back--otherwise he's dressed and looks like a bike messenger (think black stretch leggings, a sleeveless T, etc). Or maybe the goofy copter dude from The Road Warrior.)

With a penetrating stare that suggests untold depths of grim disdain, Darth is picking through garbage. He seems to 'check' what he finally settles on--half a sandwich and half a cold Starbuck's beverage--with the exaggerated chinstrap thing. Then he crosses the street, throws down his yoga mat, sits down crosslegged, and digs in.

Right after he sits down he slaps a newspaper down in front of him. It's a windy day, so within seconds the paper is flying everywhere, sheet after sheet billowing up and then scattering. Unperturbed doesn't do justice to Darth's reaction; as far as I can tell, he doesn't even notice, and just calmly continues munching and 'reading' the paper that's disintegrating before his eyes.