This is the awkward first date thread.

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Hi! Yeah, it's nice to meet you, too. You look different from your photo... I mean, you look good, I didn't mean you look bad. Just, y'know, different.

Those are great shoes.

― Prude (Prude), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

So, um, are you still single?

― Prude (Prude), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah... do you have a job? Because I don't, and I was hoping you could pay for the salad you ordered.

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

First, Dan! Not First-and-last!

― nestmanso (nestmanso), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

no, i only just got here. here, i already ordered some PBR's. here's yours, if you like. want some peanuts?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

A funny thing happened to me today... I had to pull my sister's husband from under the couch earlier today at their house back east. He sure is a handful that one! I betcha you can't come up with a story as wild as that one... yup...

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

no, i've never really done this either. yeah, a friend of mine said it worked out for her, so i figured, why not--it's not like i actually do work at work...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh that was *your* brother? My bad.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, another drink over here, please?

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 04:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoops, I thought I'd turned it off...
Hold on a sec, it's actually my Mom...
Hey! uh huh. uh huh. OH MY GOD.
I'm sorry I have to go, it's an emergency!
Here, this should be enough.
Yeah, I know it's really weird.
Uh, ok yeah, see you later.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 06:06 (twenty-two years ago)

gee, my friends are expecting me over at Hi-Fi, and it's his going-away party...
he's moving to seattle.
oh, okay, yeah, thats cool. give me a call.
or just message me again on friendster.

ugh.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh this? No, it's not contagious."

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"umm, are you ok, you seem awfully ill"
"this? dont worry, I always throw up when I'm nervous, dont I mum?"

(THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME OMG)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh shit, there's my wife. How is she still alive?"

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 06:50 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey, I really don't have time for all this dinner shit, let's just go back to mine and have sex. Incidentally, do you mind doing it with my six-month old daughter in the room, just in case she wakes up?"

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 07:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm going to need to see some form of identification"

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 07:51 (twenty-two years ago)

*wordlessly stares at breasts*

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 07:54 (twenty-two years ago)

[In the toilets, on mobile phone to friend]

"Well he's okay, not bad looking, cute rather than oh wow. Yeah I know Sally said that, but we've got quite different taste. He's funny, but he does keep talking about himself. I don't know, it's not exactly a wasted evening, but i don't think there's much spark and he keeps staring at my breats. Yes, I did wear that top. But it was only supposed to get people I really fancied to stare at my breasts. No, no, no. No, I'm not drunk. Half a bottle of wine and a cocktail so far. I don't do pity sex, well apart from then. Oh okay and then. LOOK I'M NOT GOING TO GET DRUNK AND SHAG HIM OKAY!"

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 08:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"Uh, we're gonna walk this way."
"Ok, we're walking this way."
"Uh yeah. See you three maybe tomorrow?"
"Umm something like that, good night to both of you."
"Yeah let's just walk away now"
"Yes"

(party splits in half, both halves walk in the exact opposite direction of where they are actually going)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"Let me tell you another story of how I fucked up dating other girls. Wait, you're leaving?"

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Wait, you're leaving?"

― David. (Cozen), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"I still live with my ex, it's really painful, I hope we can work things out"*

* this was actually said to me as like first thing out of man's mouth on a date once.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"I left my axe in the car."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey, do you like the Stereophonics?"

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Ever see that weird SNL skit about the airport bar date?

"So, come here often?"
"Come? COMe??? ha ha ha ha ahhaHA!?"
"What?"
"OH, nothing."

That never happened to me.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"I Wanna Fuck You In The ASS"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

* this was actually said to me as like first thing out of man's mouth on a date once.

I had this too!

"Oh, I live with an ex I dated for SEVEN YEARS."

Who the fuck are these people?

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Freaks?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

There has to be some overlap between breaking-up and the people moving out. Moving out is a hard difficult thing to do.

― David. (Cozen), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Overlap that includes desperate wanting to get back together while ACTIVELY PURSUING other people? What world do you live in?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

*walking up stairs to front porch, she opens the door and says...*

"Hi! You must be Nick."

"Why yessum, I was just..."

*trips on top stair, falls on face, bleeds*

[based on a true story]

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Just because you still live with an ex doesn't mean you want to get back together.

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

It's just convenient

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"I was, like, into Winger and Great White way before all of those posers who just got into them now that they're on MTV! You should come over and check out my collection."*

*yup, this was something somebody said to me on a first date back in the day...

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm free the next day, so we can do whatever you like on Tuesday" um I will never be told anything this flattering for the rest of my life, will I? That was one KICKASS first date. Damn you, alcohol

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

But it WAS awkward, she was meant to be gay

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, apparently no one is getting the concept here that me and bnw are talking about very specific instances in which the people actively stated they wanted to reconcile with their live-in exes while on dates with other people. Apologies for such a confusing concept.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, in that situation I'm thinking "hullo, if you actually want things to work out, what the fuck are you doing here?".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Working things out while fucking you, apparently. (Note: I have not said this to nickalicious.)

― Thy Lethal Zen Ned (Ned), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I was just thinking of the money issue, tho

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Not yet Ned, not yet.

― nickalicious ;-) (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

A thing that was actually said to a friend of mine during what she thought was a just-going-out-for-lunch with a guy she vaguely knew:

"So, um, you should probably know that... [pause]... I'm becoming a woman, I'm going to be a dyke, and I want to date you."

― Douglas (Douglas), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Not yet Ned, not yet.

I have the fear!

― Thy Lethal Zen Ned (Ned), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Although actually the worst thing anyone ever said to me on a first date was one where she told me that she was really into sharp-dressing guys, and had in fact last week been sitting next to someone with a really great Hermés tie on a plane, and had been so impressed that she dragged him back to the airplane bathroom to fuck.

― Douglas (Douglas), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Because of a tie? I like suits, etc. but that is mentalism.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

My first ever girlfriend had to spend the whole wooing period (three months or so) plus the duration of the relationship (seventeen days) hearing how much I fancied her best friend.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, going on a date and saying 'i hope it works out with [someone else]' *is* weird.

xpost: unless you're Mark.

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

A Hermes tie?
http://futurama.metropoliglobal.com/pers/hermes.jpg

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Douglas just made the perfect case for the whole suit/tie debate from yesterday.

― Thy Lethal Zen Ned (Ned), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Heard from a date:

"...funner..."

The date continued, but it was over, if you know what I mean.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha, "Do you like Toploader? I think they're just sooo fantastic." had the same effect on me. You have that awful clash of conscience where the diplomat in you thinks you should say "Yeah, they're okay" and move the conversation on quietly, but the rest of you wants to scream "What are you talking about? They're fucking shite!".

That moment where you know it's not going anyway but you've got to see out the rest of the evening is just plain grim. Hence the 'emergency phone call'.

― Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Or the emergency re-evaluation. Ok, she's not relationship material. Can I even sleep with someone who says "funner"?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

you'd find out if she was funner in bed.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe she said it ironically?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Actual true story. My ex-wife is sitting in a cafe awaiting this guy contacted through a website.
Man: [my ex's name]?
Ex: Yes. You must be Y...
Man: Yeah, hi.
Ex: Um, you don't look anything like your photo.
Man: Oh, that wasn't actually a photo of me. It was some actor I found on the web. I thought he looked enough like me...

She didn't agree, and didn't hang around.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

The awkward teenage dating story thread

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

Do you think that the Cumberland Pencil Museum would be a wonderful place to take a girl?

― Frozen Field and Fox (688), Friday, 26 January 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

It is a pity Cumbria is so far away, a first date at the Haig Colliery Mining Museum could be just the right thing to ignite that spark

― Frozen Field and Fox (688), Friday, 26 January 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

Beautiful. I like how both museums have shots from the air, in case you are arriving by helicopter. Who knows? Perhaps you are Richard deVere.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 26 January 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

I think you should go here, http://www.kbsm.org/, save the colliery museum for a dirty weekend.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 26 January 2007 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

so romantic!

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

Believe it or not, we went to the Bakelite Museum on our HONEYMOON. Except that when we got there it turned out to be closed.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

I wish boys would take me on first dates like that, instead of the usual "bah, you pick a pub" type bollocks.

Any man who took me to a steam museum on our first date, I would surely marry.

― The Whistling Bus (kate), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

Do you think that the Cumberland Pencil Museum would be a wonderful place to take a girl?

-- Frozen Field and Fox (68...) (webmail), January 26th, 2007. (688

The 22 Year Old Virgin (44 new answers)

― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

(just playin')

― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

In my experience, art is a bad thing to go to on a first date because you can't really talk, you're moving around, you don't know how long to linger, you don't know whether you should walk with them or separately. Awkward and uncomfortable.

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

Steam engines != art. You can tell a lot about a person by their reaction to MASSIVE CHUNKS OF SPINNING METAL BLECHING STEAM AND SMOKE AND FIRE AND DARK SATANIC MILLS and, err, stuff.

― The Whistling Bus (kate), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

kate, i hope you say something along those lines on all your first dates. charming.

― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

I am never offering you any advice ever again.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

(Then again I once went on a first date at a gay club, so what do I know?)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

In the extremely unlikely event that I would ever actually date anyone, I would be pretty certain that they would kinda 1) like obsolete technology and Victorian stuff and 2) GET William Blake references and therefore would not be as stupid scared of my saying something like that. Otherwise they would be unlikely to be dating me.

― The Whistling Bus (kate), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

louis, taking notes?

― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Friday, 26 January 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

who doesn't like a room full of pencils!?

― Frozen Field and Fox (688), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

I would totally go!! Transit museums, decorative arts, furniture making, textiles, science & industry all over the freaking place. Bonus if there are interactive exhibits and Exploratorium-type things you can crawl through or have to find yr way in the dark or etc. This is the only sort of first, second, or even third date I can imagine going on that doesn't involve alcohol.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

Laurel OTM.

― The Whistling Bus (kate), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

Absolutely. Yes to museums of how people used to live, that also support towns that technology kind of left behind. No to museums of kinky bondage or torture or the Imperial War Museum.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

A young lady once took me on a first date to a commemorative lecture for the centenary of Special Relativity, we than went and got pissed. It was great.

My friends said I should marry her. She eventually dumped me.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

Laurel, let's blow this joint and hit the national tramway museum at Crich.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:17 (nineteen years ago)

Okay but no orange socks.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:20 (nineteen years ago)

No orange socks, let's call the whole thing off and you can ruminate over what might have been as we rode along on Sheffield Corporation tramways No. 47.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

Are you breaking our date or just being coy? Make up your mind, I have a Q train to catch.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

It's in your hands, could you ride a tram with a man in orange socks?

― Ed (dali), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

Magic 8-ball says: Outlook not so good.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

date at nyc museum of natural history, c or d

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:41 (nineteen years ago)

I've taken girls to museums on 1st dates. We went to the Manchester Natural History museum.

It was great.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:44 (nineteen years ago)

XP: That museum is kind of a dud, actually -- unless you LOOOOOVE the dioramas, it's pretty boring and old-fashioned. The building is prob more interesting than the exhibits, the floors in particular are very, very cool -- deeply colored terazzo floors with the brushed steel spacers running through in the direction of traffic or in big spiraling or geometric figures.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

We did have sex in the amphibians section tho

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

museum of natural history dates - so classic!

― bell labs (bell_labs), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

Museum of Science and Industry dates = even better!

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

i wish more people wanted to go on dates to museums and not just bars :(

― bell labs (bell_labs), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

i do love the dioramas ;_;

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

The problem with going on dates to science museums is that the bloody things are so rarely open at date o'clock, i.e. weeknight after work.

― The Whistling Bus (kate), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

i want a date to the robert moses exhibit at MCNY.

― bell labs (bell_labs), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe we should give it up as a bad cause and just go together, Lindsay?

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 26 January 2007 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

YES. that is a v. good idea!

― bell labs (bell_labs), Friday, 26 January 2007 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

actually, i've just entered the university charity blind date. the big night's on the 6th of Feb, i'll let y'all know how it's gone!

on your entry form you had to describe yourself in five words, and i put: 'Can't edit to save his'

and then we had to draw our perfect date over a stick figure. i resisted the urge to be funny and actually attempted to draw my ideal gal. hopefully the organisers will pair me up appropriately...

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 26 January 2007 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.atf.gov/kids/graphics/art_contest/dsc_554820%25.jpg

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Friday, 26 January 2007 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

OTFM^^^^^

― Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Friday, 26 January 2007 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

Rowr!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Friday, 26 January 2007 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

Er, 3 is not legal.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 26 January 2007 17:00 (nineteen years ago)

Alex, I salute you...

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 26 January 2007 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

I was, like, into Winger and Great White way before all of those posers who just got into them now that they're on MTV! You should come over and check out my collection.

Fortunately these unsalvagable situations can now be avoided by checking out someone's Myspce profile beforehand.

― slugbuggy (slugbuggy), Friday, 26 January 2007 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

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