Men putting the toilet seat down after -- C/D?

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Is this a sexist relic, like holding a door open for someone? And are you supposed to put the ring sear down, or the lid as well?

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll put the seat down when you put the seat up!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You're supposed to just pee on the floor.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

That's why God invented mops.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The sink has a seat lid?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a ritual at my parents house that when I visit my mother accuses me of trying to kill her by leaving the toilet seat up.

"I could fall in!" she says

"Impossible!" I say "Here, have some more water"

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

just fuckin' whiz in the tub or the sink, like the rest of us civilized folk.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I left it up once at an xgf's house once. That night her roomate fell in the bowl with some great splashing and screaming. I've tried to leave the seat in whatever state I found it in after that.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

How come people always whiz against the side of a house? Why not directly into the dirt? Is it because we've been socialized that we shouldn't just piss anywhere? And the side of a house counts as somewhere, but just into the dirt is nowhere.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I put the toilet seat down WITH A VENGEANCE.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

(actually, I do too. there are enough things women can find to be mad at me about, I don't need any extras)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I was thoroughly brainwashed on this aspect of male/female relations by my mom and sisters.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

(two things every [hetero] man should learn to do, cunnilingus and put the seat down)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

(and probably cooking and cleaning)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

(and some basic grooming skills)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

But is that old-fashioned and outdated male politesse?

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

piss on the ceiling over the toilet. it should drop down in, eventually.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

to continue Horace's tirade...

(and learn how to change a diaper)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I think closing the entire toilet is appropriate because I have a cat and I get all pissed off when people leave the top open because he tries to climb in and it just makes a mess, so I like the whole thing to be left down, completely closed. Otherwise I wouldn't care, I mean it's not exactly hard to double check.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, it's not like I'm ever drunk in the middle of the night anyway.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

but why do men need to pee AGAINST something?
what's up with that?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, seriously--I have no light in my bathroom. And despite this plus heavy drinking binges + drug abuse + lack of sleep + stupid mean cat I've not fallen in yet. I might just be v. talented because I have an irrational hatred for toilets that has driven me my entire life to avoid them as much as possible; I do not understand the men in my office who bring like entire novels with them to the bathroom.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Aparently when you start getting up there in years you just can't squeeze it out like you used too.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

my finest moment on ilx: How come it takes so long for guys to have a poop?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"anything worth doin' is worth doin' RIGHT."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe after we use a wall we should put THAT down, for etiquette practice or something

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"you stupid wall! you suck! i've pissed on SCREEN DOORS that were better than you!"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

exeption to peeing against something rule: when we pee off a bridge.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a cat so I try to remember to put down the seat and the lid. Plus, I think I have a bit of my dad's anal-ness (oh man, isn't there another word I could use hear besides anal? fastidousness?). It just looks better with the lid down. Cause, you know, isn't it good to have the pool of water in the corner of the room where people shit covered up as much as possible?

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Or pee-spelling our names in fresh snow, Horace!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, one of my favourite memories is peeing off the Victoria Bridge in Saskatoon during the winter when I was like 13 and I got one initial off, because, y'know, it's a pretty high bridge so you have no choice but to write big.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

always put it down, but put the lid down, too, otherwise it makes no sense...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Lid down. Always. Everyone. It's a hygiene issue, folks.

― mouse, Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i was raised by women = now deprogramming myself.
i go out of my way to leave the seat up. if i take a shit - i put it up.
only when i'm in someone else's washroom and i'm not sure if it's okay, i put 'er back up.
women can work/vote/open their own doors/whatever - they can take a nanosecond to put an occasional toilet seat down. end womens suffrage and i may start putting it back down - maybe. if i get my food cooked and ready for me by the time i'm home from work - probably.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

what about pissing/pooping with the door open. i accidentally did this when the inlaws were over at my house.

not cool when you can hear other people plopping though

― JasonD (JasonD), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I would be very worried if I was pooping with door open and heard someone else plopping.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, you need Charles Mingus' book on toilet training cats. Then fear not for kitty's fall in to the murky beyond. Kitty will even flush after.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

thank god that this thread hasn't degenerated into guys talking about where they shit...

YET

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, always in the toilet, bar one time in New Mexico (when I forgot that there's always a liquid something that accompanies any bowel movement)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oops has crushed my world into itty bitty pieces.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Boy roommates who always, always put the seat down = angels.

― lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh, Archie never puts the seat down. He says that's women's work." - Edith Bunker

― Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 17 September 2003 06:16 (twenty-two years ago)

[[returning from john]] man, that novel was great!

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 06:17 (twenty-two years ago)

4 ways of using a bog - poo and a wee, male and female variants; 3 of the 4 need the seat down. 1 needs it up. Putting seat down after = consideration for majority usage of bog = classic.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

at parties where there are shared toilets, the seat should always be left UP so that neanderthals don't come along and piss on it.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 08:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The seat is always down in my house, as it usually falls down anyway! I always put the lid down if it's up though, it just looks better that way.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 08:30 (twenty-two years ago)

With over four years of living with female roommates, I almost always put the seat down. Actually, the seat rarely goes up anyway, since I usually pee while sitting. I don't like peeing while standing, it could get messy if you're aim isn't that good. Some people seem to think this is unmanly, however.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 09:05 (twenty-two years ago)

A German friend told me that German men are urged by their wives to sit down whilst peeing so as to not plaster the floor in piss. I have no idea whether it's true, but I hope it is, as it makes Germans rise even higher in my estimation.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a funny bit about this in the German gay comic "Konrad & Paul", if any of you have read it.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 09:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I do not understand the men in my office who bring like entire novels with them to the bathroom.

Totally. I don't understand what compels people to stay on the toilet for a moment longer than necessary. I just do what's required and get the hell out of there.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

In my last apartment the toilet seat would only stay up unaided for five or ten seconds. So now, anywhere I pee, my left hand absently floats towards the seat, "holding" it there. When I'm finished making my little tinkle I lower the seat out of a vestigial fear that if I don't it will come crashing down five or ten seconds after I exit the bathroom. Yes I have gone crazy in so many ways.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Some of the fellas in my office refer to the men's bathroom as 'the library'.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it bcz you have book shelves in there?
And you piss against them, too?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

This issue seems like the basis of all bad comic routines ever, so I must say DUD.

Though I do like the entire lid to be down too because of the cat.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

when I'm at home, I'll take a book or magazine and sit there reading long after I've done my bizzizzness
at work or anywhere else in public, it's get-in, get-out.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Apologies for starting this. I'm shameless. I like to show people the book I'm reading before I enter.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

toilet time = phone time

― Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 17 September 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

dave, it's absolutely true. we even have "information signs" about correct toilet behaviour.

― blue (blue), Thursday, 18 September 2003 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

tracer we had a toilet seat like this once, it threatened to come flying down upon any male who failed to hold it in place.
i loved it because it meant the thing was always down when i entered.

mind you, does it really matter? i mean, as said previoulsy in this thread, it takes but a nanosceond to 'right' the thing.

there are plenty of other things to spend time getting pissed off about ( hehe ) that are way more important.
as long as no one pees on my floor, i dont care whether they return the seat or the lid to the 'correct position'.

a party hint - put a cork in the loo, they just cant resist trying to sink it/ aim at it and you will get much less pee on the floor surrounding. supposedly anyway.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 06:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I like to show people the book I'm reading before I enter.

I've been known to do this... waving a magazine and shouting "I'm takin' a book in!" George-from-seinfeld style. Men are always impressed (read: grossed out to the max) by a woman saying this ;D I even have a nice collection of geek mags and Ikea catalogs in my loo!

I always thought guys should put the seat back down until it ocurred to me hey - they have to put it up, too - why do we make them do all the seat handling? Still, its their pee, not mine...

While I'm on the subject, whats with you all talking about FALLING IN to the toilet?! its a tiny bowl! Oh wait - you guys have liek a huge pool of water in yours dont you? How do your bums not get wet? This has always puzzled me about american loos. Why do you neeed half a swimming pool of water in the bowl for lawdys sake?

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 September 2003 06:57 (twenty-two years ago)

yes that had me wondering too. just how big are your loos, people? i mean, nothing bigger than a kitten could fall in mine.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I misread that as "how big are your poos, people? i mean, nothing bigger than a kitten could fall out of mine", and I assumed you meant your bum. Please don't poo a kitten on me, donna!

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:04 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahahaha. no ok i promise i wont.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Quick solution: I'm lucky enough to have two restrooms in this house (and in my last four residences, come to think of it). Anyway, I've always designated one as being reserved for 'the guys' and the other being for 'us gals and guests'. And, well, I think it's a wise move, as I have seen how messy they let their restroom get before being inclined to clean it ... disgusting!

Other than that, it's seat and lid down, as I frequently have wildlife in the house, for rehab, and I don't want to have one of those go for a swim in the basin. Also, living in Florida, creatures do come up through the pipes ... having the lid down has kept several gargantuan frogs from wandering into the rest of the house.

Question for the males here: When you relieve yourself, do you use your hand to, well, steady your penis to direct your stream, or are you 'hands off'? (I've seen both techniques, and the latter boggles my mind.)

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I treat the aiming like I'm driving a '67 Dodge Monaco: sometimes I'll use my hand, sometimes I'll be cool and just use one finger, and sometimes I'll put my hands behind my head and marvel at the self-centering.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:34 (twenty-two years ago)

*laughing really hard* Bryan, you have made my night. Thank you.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a LARGE collection of magazines in my bathroom.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I usually have at least one 'browse through' book outside the stall door, but most of the time take in whatever I am reading at that moment. My father is notorious for spending more than an hour on restroom trips. He has stacks of books and magazines in his restroom. Personally, I think he goes in there to avoid everyone.

When you were little did you use the bathroom as the place to trap your mother and pester her? I find that I still do this, occasionally.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:41 (twenty-two years ago)

A German friend told me that German men are urged by their wives to sit down whilst peeing so as to not plaster the floor in piss.
They probably saw About Smith. ;-)

― nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 18 September 2003 07:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a LARGE collection of magazines in my bathroom.

When I lived in a commune, we had this sort of "library" as well, and it kept getting bigger and bigger. Our only rule was that our bathroom reading should be something we wouldn't normally read, so we had piles of old gossip magazines, copies of The Watchtower (the Jehovah's Witness's magazine), Hare Krishna leaflets, copies of Mad Magazine from the eighties, old student papers of the Helsinki University of Technology etc. But then my two original flatmates moved away, and the new ones weren't that fond of the idea, so that was the end of "The Library".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 September 2003 08:23 (twenty-two years ago)

How the heck could someone fall in and toilet without the seat down? Wouldn't they put it down before they sat on the toilet. It would be like trying to sit down on a chair that is a few feet to the left: to sit, you first have to move it under yourself.

Having pets is a good reason to put the lid down.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 September 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Jinx knows not to flush that toilet.

― Pete Scholtes, Friday, 19 September 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

For a large community of kitty lovers, you never seen to think of the kitty's feelings. Hmph.

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 19 September 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

hmmph!

― chaki, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 05:09 (eighteen years ago)

Toilet Week is heating up here on ILE!

― Abbott, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 05:25 (eighteen years ago)

Hot toilet seat++.

― libcrypt, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 06:03 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

I so just fell in toilet just now

― RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 28 August 2008 00:31 (seventeen years ago)

Was considering reviving this instead: defend the indefensible: men who piss on toilet seats

http://www.wittyworld.com/images/News%20Images/Javad.OceanOfTears.gif

― RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 28 August 2008 00:32 (seventeen years ago)

Hahah. That is funny.

― Bimble, Thursday, 28 August 2008 01:26 (seventeen years ago)

Where's the thread where Nabisco uses math to prove that men should leave the toilet seat up?

― The Yellow Kid, Thursday, 28 August 2008 05:14 (seventeen years ago)

For a long time I've been thinking about marketing a toilet seat with a third lid. Why have two lids when you can combine the triple-action of three?

― the next grozart, Thursday, 28 August 2008 08:10 (seventeen years ago)

Clearly the seat needs a motion sensor that lowers the lid when someone walks away.
Then you can override it with a remote control and have the most hilarious parties ever.

― Øystein, Thursday, 28 August 2008 09:22 (seventeen years ago)

Dog owners leave not just the seat but the cover down as well.

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:14 (seventeen years ago)

Or they should, at least. Probably cat owners, too.

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:14 (seventeen years ago)

I shut the whole thing - seat and lid - why leave it open?
And it's nothing to do with gallantry or politeness, nor do my parents do it.
It just looks better shut.

― AndyTheScot, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:37 (seventeen years ago)

I don't bother putting the seat up in the first place, just wee in the space in the middle. Its not like its difficult to aim or owt.

― Thomas, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:39 (seventeen years ago)

When you flush, an aerosol spray of the contents of the toilet rises up in the air falling indiscriminately on countertops, facerags, toothbrushes, razors, etc. You're damn right I put the seat down.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:44 (seventeen years ago)

(because to put down the lid, you have to put down the seat first, obviouslu.)

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:44 (seventeen years ago)

Growing up my mom always used the "I don't want to fall in" argument and I thought she was nuts, never once brought up how it looks, kingkong's point, so I'd just go "just look, I do", and she'd get maaaad boy howdy.

Sure felt dumb when I fell in last night...

― RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:53 (seventeen years ago)

"OR kingkong's point"....

― RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:53 (seventeen years ago)

ohhh RaG.. I hope you called her and apologized

― Finefinemusic, Thursday, 28 August 2008 16:14 (seventeen years ago)

Lol no way, I felt stupid for a real good reason.

― RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 28 August 2008 16:15 (seventeen years ago)

Anyone who falls in the toilet should feel a bit dumb. You should look before you sit anywhere.

― RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 28 August 2008 16:16 (seventeen years ago)

three years pass...

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/flushing-spread-diarrhea-disease-130057221.html

looks like a big blow to us "leave it the way you left it" guys :/

― Neanderthal, Friday, 6 January 2012 03:40 (thirteen years ago)

three years pass...

http://gothamist.com/2015/08/17/rats_toilets_terror_nightmare.php

― teaparty.fireants.inthepants.net (doo dah), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 19:50 (ten years ago)

Jesus. Motherfucking. Christ.

― Do you have or use horses? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 19:54 (ten years ago)

six months pass...

a v special case!

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2jgfhw/tifu_by_using_a_toilet_wrong_my_entire_life

― Neanderthal, Sunday, 13 March 2016 13:22 (nine years ago)

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