the most offensive you have ever been

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i think this happened to me last night, i said some very nasty bitter rude stuff, fairly loudly too. i was very drunk and now of course i regret every word of it.

i think i said someone had a face like a bag of dicks (damned ilx influence), and i also may have called some random person 'a fat' as they were walking in the bar, and i think i might vaguely know them. i also inquired about spitroasting a girl.

sob sob, i wish i would just stop opening my mouth, i will have some explaining to do today.

anyway, please detail your own experiences of being drunk and nastily offensive to people. and how to deal with it afterwards...

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I once accused someone of stealing one of my gloves (I found it later) and then said they should remove a rib and suck their own cock. It's a testament to Oxford's relative gentility that I didn't get beats.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I probably shouldn't have wished Doomie dead on ILE.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

seriously, this is starting to make me go out of my mind, the more i remember, the more i realise i was offensive to just about everyone in sight.

i think i wished someone dead last night too, and that is something i will hate myself for, for a lil bit anyway

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

i drunkenly swore at a friend on the tube at 6am and called her an alchoholic and a slut, in a pretty full carriage, and then i said it didnt matter because she wouldnt remember the next day anyway. that was pretty much the end of that friendship

― charltonlido (gareth), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I was taken to a gig at a local by a friend who knew the (son of a famous person) singer of one of the bands. Said band were absolutely terrible. Afterwards I went over to the singer shook him warmly by the hand and told him said "thanks, that was fucking shit." I also was very rude to a famous fantasy author one time but that was by mistake.

― a shotgun, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Rude to famous people = classic. Guiltless schadenfreude .

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Being rude to famous people is about as classic as being rude to random people on the internet, you fucking cunt.

(ANd your name isn't even Andrew!)

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I should have realised Patsy Kensit was sitting in the seat in front of me before I dissed her. But it's, you know, patsy Kensit, who long, long ago forsook her right to be taken seriously on any level.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

kate, what about if 'famous' person is not aware of the rudeness in effect (example: some friends swooning over Bry£n Ad£ms at the met last week, "we love the song you did for Robin Hood" etc etc). I mean, that is quite funny - and no one gets hurt - his ego gets an injection, a small select group with insider knowledge get to snigger and to innocent bystanders, the myth around Adam's crystallises imperceptibly and his star reputation gets fractionally endorsed. Everyone’s a winner.

― a shotgun, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't like anything that perpetuates the myth that Famous People are somehow not people, or indeed that you somehow *know* famous people, when really, you shouldn't treat them any differently than you would some random stranger on the street. Because that is what you are to them.

If you wouldn't do it to a random stranger you don't know, then don't do it to a "Famous Person".

But this is another thread topic anyway...

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

who long, long ago forsook her right to be taken seriously on any level

after "I'm Not Scared", then?

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

kate, a fair and well made point albeit dismissive of the propensity for the drunken mind to make crass and ill judged decisions while concurrently anticipating the results and ramifications of these decisions to be utterly hilarious.

― a shotgun, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

hey i'm in sales, i am offensive on a daily basis. heh

― nathalie (nathalie), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

after enough beer, i'm in a mood to get as offensive as possible.

i try to be entertaininly offensive, or at least passably scatalogical on here on a daily basis.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I once expressed my distaste for the young actress Mara Wilson (Matilda, Miracle on 34th Street, Mrs Doubtfire) as saying "Her breath smells like her daddy's dick."
I think that is by far the most (intentionally) offensive I've ever been.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate a friend of mine once called Mark Gardner a cunt without knowing he was famous!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

That's different, Tom. If he was behaving like a cunt, it's acceptible to call anyone a cunt, famous or not. It's being offensive to famous people simply *because* they are famous, or in reaction to their public image or whatnot that I find really inexcusable.

(ANd BTW, it's Gardener.)

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

To be fair he wasn't behaving like a cunt, it was my friend who was being cuntish.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Meta - BTW, what is "behaving like a cunt"? (And anyone who replies "getting f*cked" will be shot by the feminist police.)

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Purely for the purposes of carrying on the discussion Kate (I am playing devils' advocate) do you not think famous ppl lend themselves to this? I mean some crave fame, so should that not be the price they should pay?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Meta - BTW, what is "behaving like a cunt"?

Cramping up once a month and bleeding for a week.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Euw!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

In this case the cuntish behaviour was leching Idha (who was there with Other Ride Bloke) then getting belligerent at some perceived invasion of space by MG. I wish I could give more details but at the time I was more concerned with using the distraction to swipe MG's cocktail as mine had run out.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

**do you not think famous ppl lend themselves to this? I mean some crave fame, so should that not be the price they should pay?**

No it shouldn't. This nonsense that *famous people* are a)asking to be abused for no reason and b) are *all the same* is pathetic bollocks. Kate talks sense.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

(Actually, Tom, I said "meta" in order to try and set up a nice opportunity for Dan Perry to do his thing - as he has, nicely! - rather than actually wondering what the cuntishness in question was, though thanks, that is actually an interesting story to me, sad and pathetic and still impressed by Rideblokes as I am...)

Oh, and Pink ... well, it's kind of an extension of that "once it happens to you, you feel differently about it" thing, like how it really bothers me when people write reviews of albums that say that "This sucks, the musician should be shot!" because it's genuinely scary and creepy to be on the receiving end of that sort of thing.

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, I am not agreeing at all, it must be a nitemare, i was just bringing up a point.
x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Meta - BTW, what is "behaving like a cunt"?

Pinching my drink ewing, you cunt!!

― mark gardener (Pashmina), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, you are probably the best person to judge in that you have been there. On the flip side of that, what about ppl who wave away their fans?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

they should be punched in the cunt.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

offensiveness, it's not a hobby - but a lifestyle choice...

― doom-e, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

This is really derailing this thread, but...

I really do believe that in a lot of cases fans really rather *expect* too much from their idols. "Oh we waited out in the rain for three hours for him to come and then he waved us away and wouldn't sign autographs, boo hoo hoo!" ... I just feel a bit like "Well, no one MADE you stand in the rain, did they?" The sense of entitlement that a lot of fans seem to feel just because they have bought a record or attended a concert or seen a film. A fan does not OWN the object of their obsession, they don't have a RIGHT to have personal interaction. Celebrities deserve their days off, their private lives, their quiet time with their families, etc. etc. as much as anyone else.

It's nice if a "Famous Person" does take the time to be nice and go out of their way to have interactions with their fans. But considering the ridiculous ways in which I have seen fans sometimes behave with regards to entitlement, I'm more surprised by celebrities that are nice. It really only takes one scary obsessive stalker type with entitlement issues to turn a "nice to fans" person into a paranoid dashing-for-cover type.

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

but nobody really famous resides in england so PHEW no worries...

― doom-e, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate is completely OTM. The only famous people I want to hang out with are:

A) Famous people whom I've met and am friendly with;
B) Famous people I would like to work with.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd say something but i've been waiting outside of kym marsh's flat for three hours and she's just left the building ... gotta run!

― doom-e, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

famous ppl who are in love w.me which i know cz of how they look at me off of telly (ie all of them)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

she's meeting me in 20 mins doom-e

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

At the Viper Room in L.A. I once screamed at the band something to the effect of "cheap Spinal Tap rip off," and they were. Unfortunately, it had gotten quiet all of a sudden right before I shouted this. They heard me and started yelling back at me. I think I hurt their band-feelings.

― Skottie, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

i saw you on the street yesterday mark - i was on a bus

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't being a fan like having a crush in the sense we usually discuss it on ILE -- i.e. you project loads of stuff onto the desired object which he or she will never be able to live up to. But with fandom it's a communal crush so you get to bitch up the celeb. after with yer partners-in-sad?

I'm curious about the 'it's ok to harrass famous people' assumption which is (not here as much) I think fairly common. Accepting the split private / public image (no-one believes that celebs dress like in the magazine pictures all the time / even give their own interviews) is it the contrast between the image and reality which upsets folk: i.e. he / she is right in front of me and is so bland / average / bald or whatever. the 'real' then intrudes into and obstructs the cosy world fostered by the culture industry (just for the sake of argument) causing anger / dissatisfaction etc.??

― alext (alext), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i was signing autographs for britney spears and trevor macdonald, right?

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, in a show environment. that's different! getting bands to break character onstage is fuckin' great. you can usually do this by yelling shit like "dude, you know you fucked up like 3 chords right?" or offering them Pez, like I did when Man or Astroman? played ann arbor 3 years ago...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

plus, i'm sorry if my celebrity status lends an air unapproachability to me. I can only sign so many breasts in a day's time, you know.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I've started a new thread on this:

How Much Do Celebrities Really Owe Their Fans, And How Much Are Fans Entitled To From Celebrities?

Even though I'm convinced I've started a thread just like this at some point before...

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm getting thread-ja vu every time I start one these days.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

she's meeting *you* WHERE! WHERE! can I come. I won't say anything, Mark S. I will just sit a few tables away ...

― doom-e, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

One time I was on the train and this girl, probably about 25 (!!!), kept insisting I was Tara Reid. Like, for serious. She was calling her friends and telling them I was Tara Reid, she followed me to the bathroom, she followed me to the cafe car. I thought she was kidding but she was pretty adament and more than a bit crazy and harrassing about the whole thing. I finally signed an autograph for her because she was becoming quite upset that "Tara Reid" was mean to her fans.

NB I LOOK ABOUT AS MUCH LIKE TARA REID AS I LOOK LIKE DAN PERRY.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

People think I look like Hayden.

― doom-e, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally looks nothing like Tara Reid. But Sarah was convinced a week or two ago that this dumpy annoying guy in a Richmond coffeeshop was John Mayer. It looked nothing like him.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.soundmangle.com/Sprek/asianballs.gif

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

what... the hell... is that THING?!?!??!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Gentle Ben in rutting season

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

the japanese are FOOKING weird.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

that clip could be an intro to the most scary bukkake film ever

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, it's from a commercial for a construction company.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

last night i was pretty offensive in a passive way. my roommate was pissing me off so i put the venetian snares and speedranch cd on loudly and ignored him when he asked me to turn it down. i think he punched a hole in the wall.

― todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I pushed in on a bus queue once, I felt pretty bad about that.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i thk i offended ronan by saying 'monged' :(

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i could go on forever but i won't.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

...i hit on the bride at my cousin's wedding... o god the horror...

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I accidentally kicked an old lady's walker while rushing to get to an appointment in NYC. Course, I realised it and apologised----but not before getting a killer look.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

... the bride didn't mind but my poor Catholic grandmother... really, really, really inappropriate; my only solace was the fact that everyone was probably too drunk to remember... oh shit, now I'm remembering a FRIEND'S wedding where I... i think I'll stop now. Note to self: avoid weddings.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Loving alext's Lacanian perspective on this; surely some slebs are asking for it though? By acting the cunt? Pete Waterman or Arnie -- for example.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i thk i offended ronan by saying 'monged' :(

haha no I had to zip out to meet friends or something I forget David.

I was a real little prick at around 16-17, I guess I still have it in me but I used to go to parties where I knew no one except the friends I came with and just take the piss out of people, generally act like a twat. It was funny and my friends only encouraged me which made it worse. I would pass comment on anything and I always had better comebacks and a big mouth, these parties didn't tend to have many people who were into throwing punches thankfully.

I got a few smacks back in those days though, in less cosy venues.

Some of the posts on this thread are very "ANN LANDERS IS A BORING OLD BIDDY".

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I once told a boy 4 yrs my senior who had cold nipples poking through his shirt 'Rab, I know nipples when I see them and by fuck those are nipples.' He then chased me the length of the school playing field.

I also shouted across the street (4 yrs my senior again!!) to a boy 'fatso!' He crossed the street and punched me in the eye.

I can't remember any other times I've been offensive. Though I'm sure there are loads.

― David. (Cozen), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Does intentionally tripping over a three-year-old count? But but it was so funny!

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I would class intentionally tripping up a small child to be an utterly despicable act myself. Nothing funny about it.

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It was so perfect, though. And it was on soft grass, he didn't get hurt.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I once wrote a nasty letter to my wife's college roommates that started out with "I used to think you were two nice, friendly, intelligent Harvard women with a lot to offer but as time has gone on I have come to realize that you are in fact a couple of stank, nasty bitches who deserve to be drowned in the Charles River like a couple of unwanted, mangy and diseased puppies" and then went on to get really mean.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Whether the child got hurt or not is irrelevant, Mark C. It was still a *really* shitty thing to do.

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

The child didn't think so - he kept smiling and laughing as he got up and chased the ball we were playing with.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell has that to do with whether it's funny?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Bah xpost

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess I'll tell my story.

I was at a party at my friends college and I was at the keg. A girl came up to me and said "Oh your Tim's friend from home, I hear your more obnoxious than Tims roomate. I bet you can't offend me."

I whipped my "burgerpipe" out right there and asked her if she wanted it in her _ _ _ _ or ass. I got a nice slap in the face.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark C: Good for him - but no thanks to you.

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow Chris! Do dares count, though?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe not. It haunts me to this day. Damn tequila.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Tripping a child deliberately fo fun = for shame. Tripping a child with whom you are playing football as you forget that they are younger = totally understandable. It's important to give kids an understanding of all facets of the game from an early age. That way, they don't turn into long ball hatas.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

The full transcript is bound to be priceless.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha, Ronan otm upthread. i can't think of anything i've said or done that is worth mentioning here in terms of offensiveness. i don't like to offend people. i'm a good boy.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

oh also i once laughed without discretion at an old man who had peed himself in this restaurant toilet, and he was trying to edge his crotch very close to the air dryer, and i walked in and i laughed so hard i cried.

i feel very ashamed about that one

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I should boot up my old computer and see if I can find that letter and the letter I wrote to the bootyflakes guy kicking him out of our apartment. (There was at least one "At this point, no one here gives a fuck if you live or die" in that one.)

I also informed these two women that people in the dorms had nicknamed them Razorbumps and Gremlin. They went to one of our friends to ask if that was true. She told them, "People call you Easter and Spook more." (For the Easter reference to work, you have to remember Alex Haley's Queen.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan, it has been suggested by Nicolars that you and I should collaborate on a dramatic reading of the Raunchy Young Lepers' "No No No." This could be the most offensive thing in creation.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

dammit, more wedding reception stories!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

seven months pass...

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0

― bosko, Monday, 14 June 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

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