"Take it for Granite"

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for 23 years of her life my mate thought the saying "take it for granted" was "take it for granite" someone else told me they thought the saying "its a dog eat dog world" was "its a doggie dog world" What sayings have you spent a significant amount of your time mishearing/ misusing?

― jed (jed_e_3), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm more of a written-word person than I am a talker, so when I read phrases spelled out correctly, I tend to retain them forever. They make sense on paper -- maybe people who don't read quite as much mimic phrases they've heard in conversation without really stopping to wonder what they mean. And when someone says "ferchrissakes" out loud, I hear it as a common colloquialism. But when a person spells it "for Christ sakes" on the page, I'm a little perplexed and I get snooty about it ("jeez, don't people have any idea of what they're even saying?").

― bad jode (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought "for all intents and purposes" was "for all intensive purposes".
Also: "if worse comes to worse"

― nikolaus winter (bokkengro), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:26 (twenty-one years ago)

The way my parents said it, I thought "ne'er-do-well" was "nerd-u-el', like it was just an amusingly fancy way of saying "nerd". Nerduel, the nerdy bullfighter!

― Poppy (poppy), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I also thought it was "for all intensive purposes" until like five years ago. Also, "at one's beckon call" instead of "beck and call."

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never thought "spitting image" was "spit and image," but I've made the substitution anyway.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

tep you must get AIM!

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 07:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I have AIM! I just don't plug it in if I've got a lot of stuff to do. Last time I loaded it up, it said all my buddies logged off at once, but that I was still connected, which seemed highly suspicious.

(I'm wary of newfangledness like "instant messages" and "GoreTex.")

December, though, I'll be back on.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 07:45 (twenty-one years ago)

my sister refers to 'wind chill' as 'wind shield' and says 'ompen' for 'open'.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

what hath snoop wrought

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

The Wombles of Wimbledon, common are we.

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

bsgetti

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

We're three kings of Orientar.

Also, my bleeding mother told me that the play was called A Streetcar Named Desiré, so that's how I pronounced it until about five years ago.

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to sing the national anthem as "Australian sunset ostriches".

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to think eau de Cologne was odour Cologne.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to sing the national anthem as "Australian sunset ostriches"

it might as well be for all I know!

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

first time i wrote expression 'as opposed to' i wrote 'as a pose to'. what would derrida say?

― enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Madchen OTM, except for the ridiculous Desiré thing.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i think he'd strike you off his christmas card list enrique!

― jed (jed_e_3), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Being a rock collector as a child (oh the secret rockist shame!) I always thought the phrase "common or garden" refered to "common ore garden".

― Citizen Kate (kate), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

indeed, for knocking a hole in his 'writing precedes speech' idea (ie i had obv read 'as opposed to' but not absorbed it).

i still don't kno if it's 'by and large' or 'by an large'

― enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, this all reminds me of this thread.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Best thread ever: Taking Sides: Another Think Coming v Another Thing Coming

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Er, what Mark said.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Good King Wenc'las / Last looked out

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"They're full of peppery goodness and very small and neat, a finger of fudge is just enough..."

I always wondered why I couldn't taste the pepper!

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Harold be Thy name.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Blessed art thou, a monk swimmin....

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Lead on, O Kinky Turtle!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"chest of drawers" = "chester drawers"

― stolenbus (stolenbus), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

My Nanna used to think the singluar of clothes was clo. 1 clo, 2 cloes.

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Pasghetti.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

A friend of mine's small daughter used to refer to the "three pee sweet" in their sitting room.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Turn on the dawnzer. It gives a lee light.

― ramona quimby (rosemary), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

3p sweet was definitely another one of mine.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"peer steers" instead of "peirced ears" i never put the word pierce into the equation somehow. i though "peer steers" were earings that hung down rather than studs - the missed connections in this misunderstanding are too numerous to go into.

― jed (jed_e_3), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

My brother thought the singular for "matches" was "a matcher".

Good King Wenc'las / Last looked out
They vectored this one on the Fast Show. Angry Dad dude, shouting about xmas carols: "Good King Wences last looked out... last looked out on what? Bloody rubbish!".

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 27 November 2003 04:45 (twenty-one years ago)

And I thought this dudes name was Ask Her, the Grouch.

http://www.lukeletters.com/imagesbirthday/oscar.jpg

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 27 November 2003 04:54 (twenty-one years ago)

My girlfriend used to think 'deed poll' was actually 'D poll'. (pronounced 'dee') She even laughed when I said 'deed', and I had to look it up on the net to convince her otherwise. There are other examples of this but I've forgotten them for now.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 27 November 2003 06:04 (twenty-one years ago)

That somehow reminded me -- okay, this is a misheard lyric, screw it -- of the argument I got into with my then-gf in which I insisted, adamantly, bewildered that anyone could possibly think otherwise, that the Sting lyric was "I'm an idiot, I'm a little idiot, I'm an Englishman in New York," because how could it be anything else?

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 27 November 2003 06:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm a cockfarmer"?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

my sister thought the lyrics to 'islands in the stream' ny d.parton & k.rogers were really 'highlands industries'

diddy

― sazabob, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

she also thought in modern studies class when they learned about alzheimers disease (for many years i might add) that it was called old timers disease.

oh well.

― sazabob, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

she plays it by year though.

― sazabob, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

My cousin used to be unable to pronounce "Buddha" so he'd call it "the Pampa Boo". Similarly, he would just refer to the vacuum cleaner as "zum zum bam" a lot because that was kind of the noise it made when we "accidentally" sucked up batteries.

This would just be childish mispronunciation if it wasn't for the fact that we were still saying this at like age 17.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought euthanasia was "youth in asia" and was understanably confused when people were asking should it be legal. And this was in high school *sheepish look*.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

OK I know this isn't a thread about "weird mispronunciations of random words" or anything (I'm sorry, other than weird mispronunciations I have no stories like this because apparently I just know every phrase ever properly or some such), but on a similar vein to my last post, my sister's real name is not K@tie at all, her real name is Er1n but for some reason her twin sister's like first word was K@tie and Er1n's been called that ever since. It's completely not her name, that's the longest lasting mishearing I can think of.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

haha trayce me too!!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Whilst learning the aphabet, did anyone else ever take the verbal form of "lmno" for some mystical unwritable single letter called "elemenno"?

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 04:04 (twenty-one years ago)

yes
i also thought it was 'old timer's disease' as a youngin

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 04:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 9 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Here's one that actually WAS correct.
"Get along little dogie" is actually "Get along little dogie"
It turns out that "dogie" isn't a cutesy pie way of saying "Doggie" it's cowpuncher slang for a malnurished motherless calf with a swollen belly. It's derived from "Dough Belly"

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Thursday, 4 December 2003 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

I thought of two more today:

You don't hang baubles on the tree, those things are ballballs.

Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques
Dormez Vous? Dormez Vous?
Sunny lemon Tina, sunny lemon Tina
Ding dang dong, Ding dang dong.

― Madchen (Madchen), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

For All Intense Porpoises

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Most of my childhood, when they weatherman mentioned "patchy fog", I thought he said "apache fog". I thought it was implying that it was an aggressive, take-no-prisoners sort of fog.

Do they even use the phrase "patchy fog" anymore?

― Arthur (Arthur), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

do kids learn frere jaques anymore? I haven't heard it since I was little.

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

My children will learn it. They say patchy fog all the time! Particularly if they are talking about driving conditions - it makes motorway driving rather unpleasant.

― Madchen (Madchen), Sunday, 21 December 2003 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

This is slightly off-topic, but my aunt has a habit of jumbling sayings. The one that's stuck with me is "Anybody with two brains would know that".

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 21 December 2003 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

'eat yr eggs and eat them'

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 21 December 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

The advert with Raul (Hellooo ladies! Look at Raul bouncing up and down!)

Guy in my work thought it was "Look at it all bouncing up and down."

Which does sound better obviously.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

"we get fringe benefits, not french benefits!"

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

This is slightly off-topic, but my aunt has a habit of jumbling sayings. The one that's stuck with me is "Anybody with two brains would know that".

From the lips of various relatives, I give you:

'Sweating over a hot slave'
'Best thing since fried bread'
'Burning both your candles at the end'

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

I had my rant last year about people who want to look smart but don't read very much, which produced "for all intensive purposes" and spelling vis a vis as "visa vee."

But "sweating over a hot slave" is kind of mindblowing.

― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

'Sweating over a hot slave'
kinky!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

'Best thing since fried bread'

what about native american fry bread? that shit's definitely better than sliced bread.

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

I also thought the chest of drawers was the "chester drawers" when I was a kid, and referred once to the ottoman as "the abdomen" to much mirth.

The longest persistent mishearing was thinking Marc Bolan was singing, "girl I'm just a teamster for your love" which I only found out was wrong at the age of like 19 or something.

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

I had my rant last year about people who want to look smart but don't read very much, which produced "for all intensive purposes" and spelling vis a vis as "visa vee."

vice-ah versa!

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

My great-aunts poufe used to have me howling with laughter.

"Poofy what?"

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

"Chester Drawers" is a damned good punk rock name.

― patrick bateman (mickeygraft), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 16:33 (nineteen years ago)

My great-grandfather used to tell people he worked as a car squasher. What did he do?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

an impounder?

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

cask washer

crosspost

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

My sister does these.

When the air is colder than the actual temperature: wind-shield (wind chill).
ompen for 'open' (but that may be Minnewegian speech)

My mom's all-time classic is 'vetching' instead of 'kvetching' - stupid bloody Gentile.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

"Harold by thy name"

oh my goodness, MarkH

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 17:46 (nineteen years ago)

i love it when people say "stick" instead of "shtick"

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 17:49 (nineteen years ago)

my wife said "fish out of luck" the other day. she blames pregnancy clouding her mind for that. I say it all the time now though.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

jbr - i have tried in vain to correct my mother's yiddish approriations for a long time but alas she is being a

http://www.heraldry.jerasys.com/Germany3/Schmuck_t.jpg

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

chester drawers so otm. i still say this for the fun of it.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

The world desperately needs a Chester Drawers/Smokey Hormel duets album.

― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

hypochondriact

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 18:28 (nineteen years ago)

My dad always said "southmore" for sophmore. I corrected him endlessly, to no avail.

― andy --, Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:21 (nineteen years ago)

Was this Casey Stengle or Yogi?: "Alright you guys, let's pair off into groups of three and line up in a circle!!" classic.

― andy --, Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:23 (nineteen years ago)

haha!

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

"Nobody goes to see ball games anymore because the ball parks have gotten too crowded!"
— Yogi Berra

― andy --, Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:30 (nineteen years ago)

I used to live w/ a relative (who I hated then, and do to this day) who said things like:
"crack attic"
"fustrated"
respectful for respectable, ie "owning your own business is a very respectful job"

And I love my mother to tiny tiny bits, but she absolutely insists on saying "alblum".

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:31 (nineteen years ago)

When I was around 4 or 5 years old, i thought the Billy Joel song "For the Longest Time" was actually a monologue being delivered by a confessor to "Father Longenstein."
"I haven't been there, Father Longenstein."

― Tripmaker (SDWitzm), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:27 (nineteen years ago)

that one wins

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

WOOOOOAH
oooOOOOoooo
Father Longenstein

― Tripmaker (SDWitzm), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

'Return to Cinder' and 'Take it for granite' are amazing.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

for some unknown reason my mom says 'eyebrowns'

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

ashes to ashes
dust to dust
what's a statue
without a bust

(xpost)

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

"highlands industy/ that is what we are"

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

"Our shortstop's overpaid, but he's worth it" -- YB

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

Signed, Sealed, Libbered, I'm Yours.

― The Milkmaid (of human kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

"Casey Stengle"

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

My friend thought that the opening lyric to the "Full House" theme was "what ever happened to your little bitty teeth..." -- whereas it is actually "what ever happened to predictability..."

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Thursday, 26 January 2006 00:13 (nineteen years ago)

Hahaha, predictability, as it turned out, was alive and well.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 26 January 2006 01:06 (nineteen years ago)

When I was a kid I talked about going through a "tunneld" and changing the "channeld"

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 26 January 2006 01:08 (nineteen years ago)

My brother thought the singular for "matches" was "a matcher".

I like that one! Have to write it down, or I'll never remember to use it.

And "Chester Drawers" is so my new porn name.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 26 January 2006 01:55 (nineteen years ago)

ew.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 26 January 2006 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

I had to cover a town meeting in a very small town in Central Texas once and a guy said, "Excedrin, Excedrin," for "et cetera, et cetera."

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 26 January 2006 03:21 (nineteen years ago)

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