EXCELSIOR - POSTS - OH MY SIDES AND NOW YOURS...

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Ah the last one is so big and clever, time for a fresh page methinks...

alright this shit's getting too big now ... MORE EXCELSIOR, MORE HA-HA-HA POSTS, MORE LAUGHING

Starting with...

What can American music possibly say to me? I'm not from America. It can never touch or document my life the way Suede or Pulp can. It's impossible.
-- C-Man (cma...), January 8th, 2004 5:20 PM.
But anyway; this is the reason C-Man pisses people off; because he is so unwilling to engage with any kind of argument or idea, to the extent that he feels the need not to ignore but rather to interject and try and throw-off everyone else.

If American music cannot speak to you because you are not American, how can Pulp speak to you? As you are neither clever, charming or observant either?

-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), January 12th, 2004.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow... what thread is that on?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"If music is relevant then etc" on ILM

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Boobah is fucking awesome! It's like Teletubbies starring the Boredoms!
-- udu wudu (guapotou...), January 10th, 2004 8:39 PM.

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the phrase "turn gay". Like "woah slow down, my street's coming up. merge left here...okay, now turn gay. third stop on the right. thanks."
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), January 12th, 2004 8:54 AM. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"swift kick in the taint" .. would be a great name for a third-wave ska band.
-- dave225 (adspac...), January 12th, 2004. (later)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

From "Can You Explain LOTR to Me" thread:

Haven't seen the new one yet, but tell me, does the King really return?
-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...), January 12th, 2004 1:33 PM. (Horace Mann)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Huck, if by "cute" and "funny" you mean "bland" and "boring," then I agree with you re: Shii Ann 100%!
-- Leee Majors (redhalcyo...), January 12th, 2004.

Hmmm, judging by my relationship track record, I think that that's exactly what I do mean.
-- Huckleberry Mann

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Obviously I think this all implies that your ex girlfriend still wants you big time so what you should do is go there, purchase it, then open in store, pour it on yourself all sexy like and then yell "WHO'S DIRTY?!" and see what happens. I guarantee the results will be extraordinary.
-- Allyzay (justgobuyitalread...), January 12th, 2004 12:41 PM. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 January 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Regarding Phish-appeal...also: getting right wasted. Outside. Around pretty people. Who are dumbasses. And easy to take advantage of.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

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So Phish are basically Sonic Youth with dreds?

-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 January 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Many of the Frodo/Sam scenes in "Return Of The King" that almost made me cry, largely because my wife was making kissy faces at the screen throughout most of them.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 12th, 2004 2:07 PM. (Dan Perry)

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 12 January 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

should explain the above is from the movies that make you cry thread.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 12 January 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Clipse and J. Timberlake... now how heavy is that?

uh... not heavy at all?

-- gygax! (gygax0...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 January 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Out of curiosity, where does Anne Coulter live?
-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), January 12th, 2004.

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In the fifth circle of hell.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), January 12th, 2004.

― sym (shmuel), Monday, 12 January 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick is rude, but that's why they pay him the big bucks:

Paris Hilton to Father: "But Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!"

"And I want it to spunk hot jizz into my dirty little whore-maw."

-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), January 12th, 2004.

― That famous guy who won a prize (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy shit

― ModJ (ModJ), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20040108/i/r2782136576.jpg
I will not leave you for dead my brethren!

-- rollerblading chimpanzee conquistador (to_th...), January 12th, 2004.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 01:31 (twenty-one years ago)

[e-mail/login reads "-- rollerblading chimpanzee conquistador (to_the[at]rescue!); from the C-Man Primate Lab fiasco thread]

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 01:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I almost threw up that made me laugh so hard.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

That aside, I'm not really sure it's healthy to be full of hatred towards anyone. But if you just can't help yourself Alex, then make sure find an outlet.

-- don weiner (migg...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

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like basket weaving.
-- dyson (dyspleasur...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

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or arson!
-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Weave baskets, then burn them.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

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better not do underwater basket weaving then
-- lawrence kansas (lawrence_kansa...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

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better yet, throw the basket down after weaving it, and say "FUCK YOU BASKET. FUCK YOU!"
-- donut bitch (do...), January 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

BEAST

Member # 2993

posted January 12, 2004 09:56 PM
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Ar'nt you a strange one then?

SON: whats for dinner mummy?

MOTHER: Its pins again im afraid

SON: Not again mother, my tummy still has'nt recoverd from breakfast!

Mother: Sorry darling, we'll have staples for pudding

― Le Coq (DarrenK), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

err... wtf? thats not an ILX post, is it?

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

There's an 80's style slap funk covers band that do Jandek in the style of The Fatback Band. Tthey're called 'Jan 'n' Dex'. They have an album out called 'Ready for Da House'.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), January 13th, 2004.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The saddest thing here nowadays is kids are far more likely to say "yo wassup brah, don't be hatin' on me fo mah blingbling!" than they would "shit you're a hornbag, even if you are a bogan".
Terrible :(

-- Trayce (trayc...), January 13th, 2004.

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Kids these days! They have no history.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), January 13th, 2004.

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and ugly pants
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), January 13th, 2004.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Dammit I was about to post that :P

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 05:41 (twenty-one years ago)

What are the sizes of the Queen Elizabeth II?
-- Kahlia Pimental (supi...), January 13th, 2004 4:54 PM.

Answers
small, medium, large and family
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), January 13th, 2004 4:57 PM. (electricsound)

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the what now?
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), January 13th, 2004 4:57 PM. (slutsky)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

That is so weird. I'm going to meet my girlfriend for pizza right now. See you losers tomorrow.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 06:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Without Nazis, "The Sound Of Music" would never have been written.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), January 12th, 2004 12:20 PM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)
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What?

-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...) (webmail), January 12th, 2004 12:21 PM. (Nick Southall) (later) (link)
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Without Nazis, "The Sound Of Music" would never have been written.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), January 12th, 2004 12:21 PM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)

ideally all arguments should follow such a pattern

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

from the drunken "memory loss" thread:

i just had a flashback! but it wasn't awful, just confusing.
-- Slump Man (mrmummr...), January 13th, 2004 9:18 AM. (Slump Man)

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i'm now gathering clues to piece it all together. i feel like a detective!
-- Slump Man (mrmummr...), January 13th, 2004 9:19 AM. (Slump Man)

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A detective who happened to feel up his sister's tits while pissing his pants?
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), January 13th, 2004 9:20 AM. (Mark C)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

This is so beautiful:

Right, so last night I dreamt I was chatting up Jennifer Connelly in some bar with an extraordinarily widescreen TV (like 6 inches tall and five feet wide) and she said "what's your favourite film?" and I said "Dark City... no, Hulk... no, anything with you in" which is kind of true cos I do love both those films, and anything with Jenniffer in is obviously watchable, and then she came on to me really strongly, and I said "Wait a minute, aren't you married?" and she said "Yes, I'm married to Dan Perry" so I said "I could never go behind Dan's back, I have too much love and respect for him" and she said "Fair enough, our love can never be" and walked away and I'm like wtf?! this must have been the opposite of a lucid dream because had I Had any modicum of control over proceedings we would have made lots of babies for the next 10 seconds or however long it is that dreams last.

I am feeling disturbed by this to a degree that I cannot express.

-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), January 13th, 2004 4:54 AM. (later)

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't even read the name "Moloko" without seeing Jools Holland with one arm outstretched beside him saying "Moloko" in a definite way.
-- mark grout (mark.....co.uk), January 13th, 2004 1:38 PM. (mark grout) (later)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

That is a thing of beauty.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i am sure nas is a lovely man, but there's a reason he's a "rugged street poet" and not big daddy kane.

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 15th, 2003. (link)

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or sir mix-a-lot.

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 15th, 2003. (link)

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he's a 'rugged short order cook'! scattered smothered and covered nas!

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 15th, 2003. (link)

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i know i can! make scrambled eggs with cheese!

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 15th, 2003. (link)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but he fears no-one. I therefore tremble in my boots.
-- Ned Raggett

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he clearly said he fears 'noone', which is, as best as i can figure, a medieval archaic spelling of noon. fear the noone = honour the fire. yeah.
-- ethan

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he also fears fox family's 'real scary stories', so DON'T FUCK WITH HIM. which of course is the motto of all girls in his tri- county area.
-- ethan

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I started working again. "Big whoop," say those of you who trudge daily to the office 'ell of their choice, living the life among the drones. But to a man for whom the term "work" had come to equate getting up around noon, sitting around in your underwear for a few hours, and finally sitting down to write your one or two of his freelance assignments (maybe) around 6 or 7 before going out to the bar at 10, it is DEATH. I'm not cut out to be around people. I will strangle you before noon if you smile too much at me. (Especially with teeth.) AND...I just got ANOTHER job today, TWO FRIGGIN DAYS LATER (for signifigantly more money of course, but...) I spent the last two days learning all the ins and outs and the names attached to the bad perms and vacuous faces and when I can use Piggie's glasses to start the fire...and I GET TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN STARTING TUESDAY. BAH. And it's that annoying clips episode of the Simpsons with the all singing/all dancing bits. Bah. PLUS I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ILM/E...BAH!!!!
Sorry...I just needed to get that out. Carry on. ;)

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), August 30th, 2001.

― %%, Tuesday, 13 January 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

it's funny because i havent worked in two years.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

also i was one twee motherfucker in 2001

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

[bear photo here]

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

One of the biggest tragedies of the modern world is that the Canadian version of Mountain Dew has no caffeine in it. This sad fact means I have to fill my belly with tasty, nutritious coffee instead of stripping my stomach lining out with pee-coloured fizziness. I weep.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), January 13th, 2004 11:28 AM. (SeanC)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Who on ILX has a sense of humour to beat mine?

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Stevem has his moments, with the Santa Claus gag being amusing until you read about it actually being for real in the papers... but does anyone else on ILX have a sense of humour more intelligent and refined than me?
-- C-Man (cma...), January 13th, 2004 11:56 AM. (C-Man)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

(from the drive-by shooting thread)

In other news a spikey black haired youth is terrorising people with a catapult and stink bombs, the offender is said to be wearing a stripey jumper and is often seen with a small black dog.
-- Jarlr'mai (parker...), January 13th, 2004 6:30 AM. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

but today is Tuesday Pun Funday!

-- Kingfishee (jdsalmo...), January 13th, 2004.

Maybe in Michigan, but not in LA. Puns are illegal in Southern California.

-- luna (luna_cee...), January 13th, 2004.

hmm. this could be true, and explain why Christopher Rios rose to rap prominence in the Bronx as opposed to East L.A...

-- Kingfishee (jdsalmo...), January 13th, 2004.

― ModJ (ModJ), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

The man knows his fisting humor, though.
-- Josh

------------------------

And the principles of composition behind minimalist art music.
-- Josh

god, i miss josh....:'(

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas: I don't think you got Mulholland Drive at all. Sorry.
-- Colin Meeder (amisrau...), January 13th, 2004.

― kephm, Tuesday, 13 January 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), January 13th, 2004. (later) (link)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

from the television vs orange juice (I don't know why I laughed really but there you go) thread.

I am pretty sure that Edwyn Collins prefers Television to Orange Juice.
-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), January 13th, 2004. (later)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

mark, i kiss you

-- fiddo centington
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and not just because i am desperate for physical contact

-- fiddo centington
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yes yes, tell me more

-- mark p )
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you have pretty hair

-- fiddo centington

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, in so many words my Aunt Ellen called me bitchtits when I was 11. That was pretty harsh.

-- Bryan (twp62y...), January 13th, 2004 5:25 PM.

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

*cries at salt being poured into the wound*

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

It's just that the name Aunt Ellen brings to mind some gray haired overly kind aunt that bakes lots of cookies or something.

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 146 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

And now, we return you to your regularly scheduled LOL thread... err sorry everyone.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

not so much a laugh, more a my god when will he fukc off.

1/"when I go to another country I attempt to "fit in" with that culture as best I can for my time there. I don't desire, or want, to bring attention to myself as a foreigner or to my foreign ways."

2/"Listen man, get lippy to me next time in your part of the woods.

Just. Fucking. Try. It."

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

In fairness, the second one there was due to some particularly pointless aggravation from Ned.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not the first time he's threatened violenec against ned.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"violenec"?? ergh...

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely I'm not the only Monster Garage fan? (Unanswered)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 09:45 (twenty-one years ago)

violened

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely I'm not the only Monster Garage fan? (Unanswered, posted at 12:00 am)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Blurb For ILX:

C-Man and some other people.
-- C-Man

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

that isn't funny that's fucking pathetic!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

it is funny on sooooo many levels at this point.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I see your point now. "Setting the agenda", yes?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Matt,
He's claimed that had nothing to do with him, that it was other departments. In fact, during Hutton he basically implied he had nothing to do with anything ever. As did Hoon and Campbell.

-- aldo_cowpat

And Shaggy.
-- Matt DC

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

In fairness, the second one there was due to some particularly pointless aggravation from Ned.

I merely gave C-Man a little bit of what he fancied. And he DOES fancy it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Nederast.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

If you ever, under any circumstances, go to Kent State University, then just fucking shoot yourself because your life will be a living hell.

Is that from the Neil Young song?

-- Luigi Vampa (handsomishbo...), January 19th, 2004 7:16 AM.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

hi
-- Amir mahmoud (Am_dn...), January 20th, 2004.
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Fuck you.
-- ModJ (Mod...), January 20th, 2004.

― dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

im not sold on kerry. he looks like frankenstein. nobody is ever going to vote for someone who looks like frankenstein.

-- bill stevens (bscrubbin...), January 20th, 2004 4:43 PM. (bscrubbins)

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BILL STEVENS OTM.
"I present the next President of the United States: JOHN KERRY!"
"NNNNNNNNNNNGH! RAAAAAAAAAAAAR! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!" *throws little girl into well*

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 20th, 2004 4:45 PM. (Dan Perry)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN YOUR EX BLAMES YOUR FOR FUCKING UP HER LIFE WHEN SHE'S BE FUCKED UP REGARDLESS OF WHO SHE HOOKED UP WITH?

Beautiful layers upon layers of ironing, flapping in the wind. I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.

― the river fleet, Tuesday, 20 January 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

& on another note, I've gto a great idea for a new reality series wherein I offer the greedy and/or gullible 1 000 000$ to get the words "I am a whore" tattooed across their foreheads.
-- Intravenus De Milo (****...), January 20th, 2004 9:13 AM.

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i'd totally do that
-- Slump Man (mrmummr...), January 21st, 2004 11:04 AM. (Slump Man)

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if it was a tasteful font
-- Slump Man (mrmummr...), January 21st, 2004 11:04 AM. (Slump Man)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"I love to finger-bang our Heavenly Father!"

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 20th, 2004. (Dan Perry) (later)

― todd swiss (eliti), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"I hate people who think they're so clever. How can I show them that *I* am the one who is really clever?"
-- oops

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be clever.
-- cozen

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"Like Proust and his madelaines this record will make you remember all that other shit that you hate." ( I read a lot of litcrit that mentions Proust and his madelaines-is that even how you spell madelaine-and it's a great crit cliche cuz you only have to read like 5 pages of Swann's Way to use it.)
-- scott seward (skotro...), January 21st, 2004 8:29 PM.

― all you need to remember is the apostrophe in "cliff's notes" (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Wasps do have a useful role scavenging for the larvae of other insects, controlling garden pests and clearing carcasses early in the season. They even dispose of rotten timber if available. However, they may carry disease picked up during their visits to dustbins, bottle banks and carcasses and can contaminate food if allowed to settle on it.

-- Miss R Harrison

― something about that made me laugh (Oops), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 08:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Just the thought of some wasps off to the bottle banks with their empty bottles of becks.... (for me anyway, I'm easily amused)

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Very funny, but how is all this supposed to increase my dick size
-- Le Coq

― hmmm, Wednesday, 21 January 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Re Gwyneth: you can have her.
Thank you.

-- luna (luna_cee...), January 21st, 2004 6:45 AM. (later)

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Trannies belong to no one!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 21st, 2004 6:46 AM. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you for the map, Momus, it is a thing of beauty. I realise that you probably included it by accident (it being a map by county), as it raises questions you have no intention of answering (why did south Texas vote Gore, for example) but hey, found art and all that.

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), January 21st, 2004 12:30 PM. (later)

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

it's actually the view that 'i went to college and got my degree now i demand the job i deserve' that strikes me as the far more conservative viewpoint. obviously we all hope that people get the jobs they deserve or even want, but the idea of entitlement does seem dubious - when did it ever not?
-- stevem (bluesk...), January 21st, 2004.

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When I'm the entitled one!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 21st, 2004.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

That whole thread is an unexpected fount of comedy. calum = janus, having a heated argument with himelf.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

This weekend I went to a party. My friends and I played an impromtu show for the party. An eighteen year old girl came up to me and told me she wanted "to fuck me". I told her to go ask my wife if it was ok.
-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...) (webmail), January 21st, 2004 6:21 AM. (Chris V) (later) (link)

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

What did she say?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

No.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I felt like Larry David.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I see. And where was this party, exactly?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Massachusetts.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris' head.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Interesting...

*writes "Massachusetts" in notebook*

x-post.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Eternal life vs. hobbit sex?
-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), January 12th, 2004.

Aren't they the same thing?
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), January 12th, 2004.

Pervert.
-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), January 12th, 2004.

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 22 January 2004 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd say "yes that's me" as you play with my rod
As one does.

-- @d@ml (nordiailto:@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.c">@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), January 22nd, 2004 7:29 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah you have to confirm that sort of thing.
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), January 22nd, 2004 7:30 PM.

― sym (shmuel), Thursday, 22 January 2004 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Allyzay, I'm not basing my judgement on Ms. Hilton's twinznat on the video, but on the paparrazzi shot of her getting out of the automobile without panties. It looks like a party with not enough chairs.
-- 2 Pretty 4 Porn (darrensco...), January 22nd, 2004.

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 22 January 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I could never stand Bangs. No, when I was a lad I just wanted to be Paul Morley, and in a funny way, I now am.
-- Phoebe Dinsmore (aros...), January 22nd, 2004 11:23 AM. (later)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/newanswers.php?board=2

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 22 January 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Exchange of the year so far:

WTF? Look, shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about and I'm not going to open wounds here for your benefit. Don't presume to know what the fuck I went through or belittle me by thinking I'm playing a victim card. Oh yeah, of course, men can't be abused. Just fuck off.

-- C-Man (cma...), January 22nd, 2004. (later)

Dude, don't get so angry. For the last time. We're. Winding. You. Up.

-- Paul D*vis (davispaul8...), January 22nd, 2004. (later)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 January 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Interesting...
*writes "Massachusetts" in notebook*

x-post.

-- ModJ (Mod...), January 21st, 2004. (later)

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 22 January 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

From the "Whatever Happened to Rick James?" thread:

"I'm right here, baby, I never went away... you know when there's just one set of footprints? That's when Rick James is carrying you..."

-- Ben Boyer (fiestasandsiesta...), January 22nd, 2004.

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Thursday, 22 January 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a new excelsior thread now?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

No, we've all stopped finding anything funny.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

(Do a find on 'jerk time')

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

MORE LAUGHING OUT LOUD CIRCLE JERK TIME HOORAY.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

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