Gear!'s new Craig's List experiment: men submitting haikus in hopes of random sex

the first set:

you wet with desire
and me throbbing hard with lust
results in passion

My hands type emails
To you with hopes that you will
Let them tickle you

How can I tell you
In seventeen syllables
My greatness in bed?

Haikus are so short
Much unlike my stamina
Which goes on and on

Lick lick lick lick lick
Thrust thrust thrust lick lick thrust thrust
Lick lick thrust thrust BANG!

Stimulating your mind,
whets your desire for me,
panting and needing...

more to come

your beautiful face
your luscious arse
I'll do them both

i never woulda
guessed you were on the rebound.
okay, i 'm lying.

FUCKING FANTASTIC

My tool
pulsating and wet
a stare

Without flowing wine
How to enjoy lovely
Cherry blossoms?

Thrusting sweeps quivering skins
Salted taste greeted in folds
Warmth to moisture bodies join

(this last fellow added: "if you were looking for the random fuck tonight, it will have to be late, since it's my mom's birthday dinner......") (!!!!!!!!!)

:0

:0 :0 :0 !!!!!!

It's the LACK of haiku structure that makes so many of these, of course.

Seamlessly gliding
Pulses race
Only the rubber separates

winter wind pretends
the cold air can chill the heat
all ice melts away
when we are between the sheets

Salty and swollen
his tongue swings ahead
of her taste.

some of these don't quite follow the rules of haiku, dammit

*dies a thousand deaths in one split-second*

(x-post damn you Ned)

Is, let's face it, genus.

stopping at nothing
moist curves coral rare red skin
hot with breath and sin

suck, fuck from behind, you on top
go all night, I promise not to stop

you leather bound
anticipation too much
like none other

shower naked soap water us
touch feel taste want need take envelope
lick suck drive cum breath

(this last fellow entitled it 5-7-5, he obv thought it meant words not syllables)

sweet mercy

Figures.

two bodies one soul
exploding in extacy
through divine pleasures

I'll knock on your door
and you'll greet me with a kiss,
but not on my face.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm using these on a lucky lady someday. (Los Angeles haikus)

I'd even let you wear your socks
while I'm slowly and literally filling your inbox
You'd moan, you'd giggle, you'd say "oh my god"
and I'd say "yes that's me" as you play with my rod

your looking for a random f%&k
and I think Im the one with all the luck
because Big Al's going to make you suck

finger tips waken
skin moans for God mouth echos
dry mouth quenched by sweat

(it's worth the risk bnw)

Well that's a downer

xpost haha bnw what are you saying?

As one does.

the last line just creeped me out.

matt, i think that's a verb(in a line of them) not a noun

Hoho @d@ml, esoj, Trayce, Tracer Hand, bnw, Ned, Gygax!, Colin Saunders, you will be able to tell your children "I was fucking THERE"

what the fuck are these? Chameleons UK lyrics?

I saw the best minds of my generation throbbing hard with lust.

And with that, the haiku experiment has ended.

The winning haiku for this contest? first prize to:

beautiful face
your luscious arse
I'll do them both

Well done, anonymous sir!http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons/35.gif

your beautiful face
your luscious arse
I'll do them both

a new experiment is being conducted at this moment....

results later tonight.....

wow you do sound hot
oh wait, no, probably not
go get a hooker

Sir, you are a genius. You could live the rest of your life without doing anything and die satisfied as a result of this thread.

Long hairs together
Our fingers intertwined
Pressing down on you

***

Under winter sky;
pushing gentle, deep and hard
your voice commands us

***

Strange thing this Winter.
Craigslist reveals a short sweet
Sunny opener.

New bird in the nest?
First time I've seen anything
Quite like this I swear.

Me? I'm thirty-two.
I've two gorgeous dark brown eyes.
And two lovely hands.

Hands and eyes both work.
I hesitate to say how.
Call me reluctant.

We meet, having met.
Your still wet shoulder length hair.
Fantasy, Ok.

Meet again in Spring.
Play all games again for fun.
Enough. Not enough.

I never haiku.
Ah, that you knew already.
How embarrassing.

Ok, I know that
Japanese syllables are
Not like English ones.

But that's about it.

***

This one is very much the Oh. My. God. one

Lick your salty flaps,
Stroke your crusty anal beard,
Empty my balls there.

Gag on your pant beard,
Swallow my dirty rectal slurry,
You know you want to.

Milk my kinky prostate,
To the knuckle with no lube,
Watch me spunk your ear.

My gaping red hole,
Let me anal squirt your tits,
The bent dog watches.

***

This guy's titled each piece:;

reaching climax:

dripping from your lips
fingers are flames in winter
temperature rising

inspired wildfire:

she spreads like wildfire
lust is reckless abandon
wreck me and leave me

the reply i hope for:

the man who wants it
a woman who offers it
"boy! come and get it"

but.... -w4m -28:

clean heart, dirty mind
"looking for a random fuck"
to taste your inside

keeping warm:

cold chills, warm bodies
pull me closer, take me now
moan until we cum

romance:

nude man at your feet
bare breasts floating in the bath(!)
sex in the water

***

Would whisper at salt
Mouth of murmuring sea-cave
Waiting for wave foam.

bent how exactly?

Long, slow kiss,
Then I explore every inch of your body
With my tongue.

('Every' counted as two syllables)...

***

see pink moistness,
rigid veined conquest(!)
longs to be made real

***

Brown hair blue eyes
This big black cock
For you?

Slick Hard in and out
wet cunt heats up
melts the ice

Now lets FUCK (ooh tiger!)

***

Not a haiku, but it made me laugh: "Whats your favorite orgasm- the 3rd or the 5th?"

***

I slide in to you
Your cunt is moist, my cock hard
The snow masks your cries (eh? Shagging face down in snow? Freaking pervert)

***

Touching your body
with my fingers and my tongue
making you so wet

you're laid on your back
I make you come with my tongue
then slide deep inside

***

Rigid veined conquest will find its way into conversation with me.

YOu know I think you should just fuck this guy

results later tonight.....

I am giddy over the hell that will soon be unleashed.

***

Cold Cubes appear
And bring your nipples to rest,
While the night is young.
The freezing cubes
Dazzle your every sense
And blow your mind.

***

the start will be wet
pussy will be pounding
cock deep in your mouth
be smiles and trembling

***

visceral pleasures
animism overrides reason
control relinquished

***

engorged and aching
heady is the scent of imminent release
passion blinds all thoughts

***

very naughty girl
posts ads anonymously
to a free server

long black silk stockings
rest my head upond your thigh
I like the texture

our lips and tongue touch
glistening red moving slow
envelopes me whole

you: almost naked
there is nothing better than
a girl in knickers

there are too many
body parts to lick so I--
will take my time then

is there a haiku...
that would make me get it up?
that would be very hard.

creativity
do not send me your picture
this is really fun

***

Her body,
curved on a couch,
a smile.

***

tenderly prepared
like a fine gourmet meal
I will devour you

***

We had food, wine, beer
Eyes locked in mutual lust
At closing time, a question....

we explore each other
mentally, physically
do it all for fun

if we agree then
doggie, anal, roles and group?
Most of all we click

(This person is the only one thus far to send a rude picture of his bits. Dutty man)

***

???

this is still my fave

all i want from u, both of us will we stay as we come out from our mother womb. then we can had it any were around the conner of the house.

Jeeves! Bring me a new house-Conner! This one's looking a bit limp.

Literally? That's the most boring proposition I've ever heard.

Just looking for those numbers
Wanting that sweet ass
Just to lick, suck, and fuck you

a wet explorer
seeking new taste and texture
eyes find each other

My shaft deep into your cunt
I bury it deep
Each thrust will be hard and long

Ferocious Silence
Quivered and thrust to sunrise
With pleasure wakened

Ooh that flicking tongue
Oh my god yes! Right there! YES!
What? Oh, right. My turn.

Gently, like water flowing,
Tender caresses on willing flesh -
Orgasm as one.

What Pleasures the Being
Body to Body all one
Release Together

Reaching her climax
He smells her hair and inhales
Waiting for round two

tension builds from my tongue
almost more than you can bare
you cum more than I

(it seems that some people just can't be bothered to type "haiku" into google.)

Saw your ad on CL.

I slept through the Haiku lesson in high school, but here's a poem for you:

The prices of everything, seem to go up
Milk, juice and soda, and unleaded gas
But if you read this and pick me
you can fuck me in my ass.

I'm a 42-year old white married male. I'm 5'9, 210 and I have a 7.5 inch cock.

And yes, if you pick me, I will bend over and let you stick a strap-on or a dildo
in my ass...and pound the hell out of me with it...

After I fuck you, of course.

Never fucked a guy in the ass? You'll never forget the power you have at
the moment when you slide that thing in my ass. You're in control...I'm at
your whim. You'd love it.

I'm up for it.

Hope you pick me.

This is one of the greatest threads of all time.

How in all my 17 months here have I never witnessed this marvel?

we didn't want you to feel like you missed your one big break

Good try. We would've accepted "Only 17 syllables in a haiku".

where's the one where Craig finally showed up and told him to stop?

that was classic

spastic had some decent ones up there

where's the one where Craig finally showed up and told him to stop?

did this actually happen?

Apparently so

so awesome

how the fuck did i miss that thread

gearmar is teh champion of teh internets

he is the runnerup of the internets!!!!

jk :(

i read this thread right before drifting off for an afternoon nap today.

when i awoke i was positive this thread was something i had only dreamt of.

realer than real deal holyfield

Tits bounce like lemons(?)
A hand grabs at your nipples
Ass moves down the bed

truly an underappreciated work