bad haircuts you have known

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so, those bastards cut it too short and now i look like a bald eight year old drill sargeant.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

$13 for a great cut, my ass!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

haha.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

not about your haircut, but your description. $13? Cripes, thats a rip-off I go to this joint over here for $8.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i decided to go "upscale".

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

most i've ever spent: $36

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Every single time dude

― bad hair ILXor, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

when i lived in boston my wife decided it was a good idea to book me a haircut at a true upscale salon. $50 for a mens cut. I looked like Guy Smiley when I was done.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh I've had some awful ones. But I had my hair cut last night and got through it okay.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i especially hate it because i have to take my glasses off and leave my head wholly in hands of tammy sue to do what she will with her devil clippers

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

they never cut it right.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't like the talking ones.

talktalktalk that's what they do.

And when they ask me to hold back my ears for them I get self-conscious.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I have recently been wondering if one can get a bank loan for specific hair product purchases. You see when REALLY THICK HAIR is cute rather short it goes KAPOW and I start to resemble a hairy lampshade* which as fun as it may be to onlookers, is actually quite unpleasing to the wearer of said do. Do? More like a "fro" today.

I think I need to figure out hair straighteners.

*there must be an indie band called hairy lampshade, surely?

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

also i had to sit next to this guy who had like full on strokes-level luxurious bedhead hair and i felt very selfconscious with my exposed pate and my bald spot.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

The last haircut I got was almost the worst I've ever had. I was going to get the woman to fix it but it took her 1/2 an hour to do what she did as she kept stopping to talk to me about what she had watched on TV the previous evening and I thought I'd be there forever. I actually look like I'm trying to grow a mullet. Worst $18 I've ever spent. I'm going back to the nice salon I used to go to where nubile young hipster girls will massage my head with slippery conditioner and...OOOH OOOH OOOH. Ahem. Yeah.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

my sister is a hairdresser and she fucked up my head good. awful. needless to say the $8 is better than having your own sibling trim up the melon.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Bryan OTM

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

The nubility can sometimes make up for the humility.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

after i saw footloose i wanted to have my hair like kevin bacon's so that night after my mom tucked me in i slipped out the scissors i'd hidden underneath my pillow and cut my hair in the dark. my mom was not pleased.

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I've mentioned it on another thread but once I went to the barbershop nearest my house and started to tell the lady there what I wanted, and she interrupted me asking in a thick Russian accent, "Do you want a man's cut or a woman's cut?" pointing to a sign on the wall that said "Man's Cut - $8, Woman's Cut- $12". So I said, "uh, man's cut I guess", thinking that I didn't really want to come out looking like a woman. But I don't know what the difference would've been other than price, because she clearly had no idea what she was doing and just hacked off an inch or so all around. I found out later that the actual barber who owned the shop had recently died and left it to this woman who had no experience cutting hair.

― BrianB (BrianB), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

about two and a half years ago, i decided to get my hair cut off. it was long and insanely thick; it was summer, i was on tour, blah blah. i just couldn't be bothered with it anymore, and i was sick of wearing it up all of the time. a well-meaning but ultimately misguided friend booked me an appointment somewhere near covent garden (i've repressed the name). i told the stylist that i wanted everything chopped into a chin-length bob, but he balked and said that i should ease into such a drastic change. i let him talk me round to this idea and reluctantly agreed to just above the shoulders, "but with a lot of layers, yeah?"
this translated into a modified jennifer aniston "friends" shag. i looked like a blockhead (literally) with no taste. i almost cried, and went into a weird state of shock. i paid, then spent several hours wandering around london and looking fearfully into every reflective surface i passed until i ran into an acquaintance in camden who said, "your hair's gone. it looks like shit." then he marched me up chalk farm road into a nearby salon where an nice italian lady fixed everything up fabulously. the end.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't known a really bad haircut in a while, but when I was in high school I had a mullet with the sides shaved up over my ears. It looked kind of like Ned's hair, but not as long and more mullet-like.

― webcrack (music=crack), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be cautious with that approach.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

haha she asked me if i wanted to shorten up my sideburns and i briefly thought of ned

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

then i said "no".

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw man.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I had my sideburns trimmed. It felt nice.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

i used to go to a barber shop years ago in town and they would give you a hot shave with a straight razor after the haircut. heavenly.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I go to a place in Detroit sometimes that does the same thing, this old Italian guy named Domenic owns it. It's called the Golden Razor; he uses a straight razor to trim your neck and around your ears.

― webcrack (music=crack), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i really miss my old italian barber, but he was just getting a little too shaky with the razor there towards the end...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

thats when i used to walk in and tell them i wanted the "Maverick" cut from Top Gun. Then I would drive my motorcycle over to my gf's house and ask her if it was ok if i took a shower and then we'd make out on the floor.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Vicky cut mine on Sunday, and I've had more compliments here at work about it than I've ever had for a haircut before.

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

my old Italian barber uses the straight razor. He's always going on about the miserable local sports teams while waving his arms. I know this is the year I lose an ear.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, it's because it was such a mess beforehand!

― Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

i love barbershops, its too bad there aren't that many around here anymore. When I'm 75 i want to sit in a barber shop all day.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

All my haircuts are the same, and cost the same. Though at the mo' my hair is quite long, and starting to curl up at the back, it's okay when I wear a hat.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

cool Chris you'll be just like Porkpie from Desmond's - he ended up winning the lottery.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Back in high school, my dad sent me to the same hairstylist who did Governor Clinton's hair here in Little Rock. It cost $35 and I came out looking like Conway Twitty. Even the crew-cut that turned me into Ross Perot didn't look as bad.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

when I was in third grade they cut my beatle hair too short, and used the dreaded CLIPPERS on my neck. I remember crying!

Later in college I had a fair number of unfortunate haircuts that were all done by myself, drunk, with clippers and scissors and vodka.

These days when I find someone who can cut my hair I stay with them so I don't have to explain anything, then when they move or leave I make them refer me to someone else. I'm insanely anal about it now.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

You're telling me!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I must try your guy/girl, btw.

I went somewhere on telegraph yesterday. Oh no.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha my husband went to get his haircut at some new place this weekend and they cut it into a mullet! I thought it was kind of cute and funny but he was not pleased.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

speaking of mullets
you people should have seen my hair 1 week ago. my wonderful shag (see pic thread) was getting in my eyes n stuff so i went to the ghetto cuts at the end of my street. they do not grasp the concept of bed head on purpose there. after all was said + done, i had bangs like amélie, a mullet-in-waiting at the back and was $13cdn poorer.

two days + $22 later my hair was much shorter + much nicer thanx to a wonderful shop on queen. also, i dyed my hair many moons back and now that my hair is so much shorter just the tips are black. looks weird (ina good way).

man, did it ever look terrible a week ago tho.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

A couple of years ago I was in Rome and needed a haircut pretty bad. I found a barber (who didn't speak any english) and sat down in the chair. As he was putting the smock thing on me, I noticed his right arm was in a cast, and his hand was wrapped in a bloody bandage. He noticed me looking and using gestures explained that he had crashed his motorcycle.
At first he used scissors with his disabled hand (very slowly) but after a while put them down and picked up the electric razor. I was momentarily relieved but then he started shaving off the sides while leaving the top really long and puffy. I started getting paranoid thinking maybe this was some sort of new hairstyle for italian youth or maybe he knew I was a tourist and wanted to have some fun by giving me a really bad haircut.
After about 5 minutes of this I pointed to the sides and then to the top and made a sort of confused/furrowed brow look... at which he laughed heartily and said "no worry no worry" and then started on the top. The haircut itself turned out ok (although shorter than any I'd ever had), but the doing of it was pretty nervewracking.

― Elliot (Elliot), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I once in a fit of "stop calling me hippy!" rage I pulled my long luxurious hippy locks back in a pony tail and chopped them off and spent the next few weeks rocking the goth girl long-in-front hairdo.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i refuse to go anywhere to get my haircut, i cut it myself and this can take hours but it is worth it. sometimes i call up a friend to help me with the back. once i screwed up and put a band aid sized bald patch on the right side above my ear

― kephm, Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm gonna need *two* haircuts to wear my new shorts! (not really)

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

shorts.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Get Thee To a Haircuttery, Honey...

I only link this because it contains my best post ever.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

When I was about twelve, Mum finally allowed me to have a hairdresser cut my hair instead of her. I rifled through a pile of magazines to find a picture of a style I liked and eventually came upon a photo of some European princess (somebody of Monaco maybe?) with shoulder length hair swept back at the sides and all bouffy on top. I'm amazed the hairdresser didn't piss her pants when I showed her the picture. She actually did a pretty good job of replicating the style, minus tiara obv.

Next day, I got up early to wash and blow dry before school but Mum shouted at me "I spent thirteen pounds on that haircut, you're not washing it out now!" So I went to school with a weird, layered, brushed-out bed head and everyone laughed at me.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

But that's not as bad as my schoolfriend Heather, who asked for her hair to be cut like Daphne on Neighbours. The hairdresser didn't know what she was talking about, so she described it as spiky on top and a bit longer at the back. She walked out with hair that was half and inch long all over with a lengthy fringe thing hanging around the back.

A couple of years later, she told us that she'd gone into Chelsea Girl the following weekend and had taken some clothes upstairs to try on. Half way up the stairs, she hears one of the assistants call to her "sorry, no boys allowed in the changing rooms."

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

they never take enough off mine, or else they take too much. It's a no win situation, when they take off too much my receding hairline stands out, when they take off too little I have to shell out another ten euro in like 2 weeks.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

it should've been obvious to me at the time, but here's some advice for getting a haircut in New York: never, ever get a haircut at a place that's got an autographed picture of Rudy Giuliani.

― hstencil, Friday, 13 February 2004 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I had red shoulder length hair, I got a bad perm, and when I went to get my hair cut, I said pleaseeeeeeee only cut an inch off, I'll come back in a couple weeks. He cut off 4 inches and I looked like Bozo.

Bad haircuts REPRESENT.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 13 February 2004 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I pay $25 for my haircuts. Im anal and had a bad experience when i was young. Plus its from a hot English chick with an accent.

I am also a believer in 'you get what you pay for'.

― Spinktron 2000 (El Spinktor), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i think 99.9% of the posters on this thread learnt that the hard way.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

El Spinktron's last post is like a quintuple entendre!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

he he

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Im confused.

― Spinktron 2000 (El Spinktor), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

reread it the way I read everything; at a fourth grade level!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Alternately, where is the Lord and Master of Perv?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

This happened the last time I tried the cheap barber shop instead of the fancy pants salon. Scary russian woman who took "not too short" to mean "I am joining the army of the motherland." Once she saw the look of horror on my face she said "it grow back. six weeks." as if that was some consolation. I still gave her a good tip of course b/c I am a guilt ridden schmuck.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I confess to laughing at a great many posts on this thread.

For me, "bad haircuts" could only mean one thing... the Dorothy Hamill look. Argh. Bad pre-pubescent memories. Not a good idea at all when you've got way too much hair than what you feel you can deal with. I sorta likened that look to that of a mushroom cloud after an a-bomb blast and then never did the "super-short" hair thing again.

Rather providently, I've never been disappointed by this beauty college I regularly go to for my haircuts and eyebrow needs. $10 (minus the tip, obv) usually gets me a shampoo, a haircut, and an eyebrow shaping, and at the end I think my hair and my eyebrows look far more fabulous than they usually do.

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 14 February 2004 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

communication is more important than cost

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 14 February 2004 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow I pay up to $130 AUD for my hair adventures.But thats a wash, conditioning treatment, cut, plus 2 hours of colouring involving foils, or whatever I decide I'm doing this time round, as I constantly get bored with my hair. I also hate it.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 14 February 2004 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

My current haircut. I shaved it all off at the end of October with a #2 guard, and have just let it grow since then. I've never found a decent-looking style because my hair's poofy and can get John Kerry-esque if my hat parts it at the side. Sadly, it actually looks better when I wake up (not poofy), but I can't go through the day without washing it.

I'm holding out for another month and then going to a ritzy salon to enjoy the hipster girl treatment mentioned above.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 14 February 2004 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

When I was eight or nine, my mother had my hair cut short as a punishment--for what, I can't remember. Later on, when we moved to Iowa, she threatened to have it cut again because she had somehow gotten the idea that long hair=sluttiness. (She was having a serious problem with depression that year, and she took it out on me.)

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Saturday, 14 February 2004 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

The worst I've dealt with yet was a cut that left my hair just a smidge too short to tuck behind my ears. It hung in my eyes until I went & bought a set of sparkly bobby pins, then I pinned it back for a few weeks until it grew out. Boy also likes to grumble about his no-hair-on-the-sides-small-bit-on-top look, but i think he looks adorable in it. I've seen photos of him in longer hair, the short look is better.

― lyra (lyra), Saturday, 14 February 2004 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

fifteen years pass...

Definitely showing this picture to my barber tomorrow and saying “Give me the Peter Lawford in That’s Entertainment” pic.twitter.com/RLLjrJWaqr
— Matt Prigge (@mattprigge) December 21, 2019

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 22 December 2019 17:43 (six years ago)

lol it's hard to remember which sequences are in Part I and which in Part II, but Peter Lawford's hair is only in Part I

― Josefa, Sunday, 22 December 2019 17:58 (six years ago)

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