Defend the indefensible: Soccer Moms

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I went to Target in an SUV and I liked it!!!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 13 February 2004 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

MILFs

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 13 February 2004 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

oh no! the suburbs oh no!!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 13 February 2004 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

They'll vote Democratic if that candidate happens to be the better looking one.

― Dan I., Friday, 13 February 2004 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I would LOVE to be a soccer mom.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I love Target, especially Super Target.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

my mother is one.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:11 (twenty-two years ago)

!!!

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:12 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.pittsburghsoccer.com/kgmombs.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

They all seem to like LOTR.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a hard hobbitt to break...

*HAHAHAHkillsself*

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to hurt you now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude don't even talk about LOTFR, my sister just got a goddamn elf symbol tattoo like a big freaking gaywad.

― Allyzay, Friday, 13 February 2004 05:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahah! Even I'm not that bad.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

is that the same sister who works at hooters?

― nothuck, Friday, 13 February 2004 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. She works at Frederick's now though. And now she's got a big freaking elvish symbol on her ass like a big goddamn stupid dork.

― Allyzay, Friday, 13 February 2004 05:38 (twenty-two years ago)

less talk more pics

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

When she gets old, that elf is going to turn into a goblin. Her grandchildren will ask her "GRANDMA CAN WE SEE THE ASS GOBLIN PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ?"

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:42 (twenty-two years ago)

like they weren't gonna say that before the tattoo anyway

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

?????

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

!!!!!

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:50 (twenty-two years ago)

*stares at Matt for a long time*

*shakes head*

Anyway, soccer moms. They're cool. They better be. I relate to their lifestyle more than I relate to almost every other kind of lifestyle out there. I'm a Soccer Mom, Jr., except I don't have kids.

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 February 2004 05:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a soccer dad, which makes my wife a soccer mom, except she doesn't really want to be out in the cold and rain so she stays home and watches "Extreme Makeovers." I've had great discussions about how shit GWB is as a president with many other soccer moms and dads during games. We shop at Target unironically.

My daughter's team, the Falcons, lost all its games last fall except one, which was a tie. The girls still ruled, our year-end party was a semi-drunken mess.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:02 (twenty-two years ago)

not that the girls were drunk, but rather us, you knew what I meant

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I read this as Soccer Momus etc

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:09 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a vision.

We shop at Target unironically.

No trucker hats?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I shop at Super Target.
I watch "Extreme Makeover".
I listen to Sting.
I wear Martha Stewart-esque clothing.
I drive Orpheus.
I will watch HGTV.
I confess to adoring the Wal-Mart Supercenter.
I read Good Housekeeping magazine.

I declare myself Soccer Mom, Jr.! Again, minus any kiddos.

Matt, your wife and I seem like we could have lovely chats together. Except for, you know, swapping any husband/children stories.

*stares at ferg*
*shakes head*

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:15 (twenty-two years ago)

My mom has started watching 'Extreme Makeovers". I'm scared.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

There's actually a show called "Extreme Makeovers"? sounds gory

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope tom savini's involved

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"We're REAAAAAAALLLY going to lipstick and manicure the FUCK out of our special contestant today here on EXTREEEEEEEEEEME MAKEOVERS!"

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been watching "Extreme Makeover" regularly since almost the beginning of its run. I've never missed an episode and make it a point to watch it when it airs on Thursday nights. It's been going on for a couple of years. Very entertaining viewing.

(I command you to go to the website, FYI.)

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:28 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/painispretty.jpg

"Wow, I sparkle! Thank you Extreme Makeovers!"

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

is that nina hagen??

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:33 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.nina-hagen.com/img/discography/singles/glotzer10.jpg

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Do zombie soccer moms shop at the Monroeville Mall in Pittsburgh?

http://cinespia.org/recommendations/dawn_of_the_dead.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

*stares*
*shakes head*

I don't even want to know what substances you people are on at the moment.

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

just plain ol' new york city tap water, ma'am

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:44 (twenty-two years ago)

That must be some amazingly magical tap water, then. Hm. Entrepreneurial idea: Bottling that tap water and selling it. :)

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:57 (twenty-two years ago)

They already did.

http://mercury.easternct.edu/w/wolsk/web/dasani.gif

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

you forgot the blotter

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Entrepreneurial idea: Bottling that tap water and selling it.

It's been done. See episode 7 of this show

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(xp:) "Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here all week."

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 February 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

It's been done. See episode 7 of this show

*snort*

Oh my God I have never wanted Showtime more than I want it now. How on Earth have I missed out on this show?! But yeah, it would figure that Penn & Teller would do something like that.

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

We at Showtime Online express our apologies; however, these pages are intended for access only from within the United States.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 13 February 2004 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

around these parts soccer moms are idiots who can not drive their SUV's and idiots who use their baby carriage to cut out in front of traffic. they also take about two hours to order a coffee and bagel.

― kephm, Friday, 13 February 2004 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

that sounds great, I want to be a Soccer Mum

― chris (chris), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

take a number
its the SUV idiots i have a problem with. soccer moms just make me doubt my opinions on the stonger sex.

― kephm, Friday, 13 February 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah I want an SUV, I want to take the kids to school yadda yadda. The being a mum bit may be a little tricky

― chris (chris), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Born and raised in the suburbs of Jersey -- soccer mom heaven. (I didn't play soccer. Softball, yes.) And I was at Target last week and I bought a food steamer. It kicks ass.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Soccer moms are a prime subject for lesbo porn. They'd be getting it on in the minivan, the dugouts (no pun intended), the gymnasium... How could I not have thought of this before now?!?! *Kicks self*

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Not just lesbo porn, Jeanne. [delivery men, pizza boys, me to thread]

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Begs2Differ's porn star past catches up with him.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

word booty

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 13 February 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I just got back from a seminar run by a former FIFA offical who claimed in Canada, Hockey Dads (and moms) are miles worse then soccer moms. I don't know about that one.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Saturday, 14 February 2004 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

hockey parents are insane. I live in Wisconsin and it's bad enough here.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 14 February 2004 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

My Mother was the greatest hockey Mom in the world. She drives a $63,000 4Runner Limited SUV. She used to work as a janitor/housekeeper and has taken enough bullshit from dad, bro, and me, to kill a regular woman. I live my life to make her proud and happy so yeah, I care what you think.

― Le Coq, Saturday, 14 February 2004 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but was your mom swearing and slapping the glass and rushing the ice and bodyslamming the ref and fighting other parents to the death on the ice? if so, then my criticism sticks to you. if not...then don't worry about it!

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 14 February 2004 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh dude in no way was I talking shit to you. I only appreciate my Mom as a good hockey Mom because I witnessed all the psycho ones. I was just flashing teeth at anyone that would think of daring to lump my Mom in with the bad ones. Peace!

― Le Coq, Saturday, 14 February 2004 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

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