Who kills Laura?

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Is it Iain? We all know he's not averse to bumping off ex-loves, or could it be Lynn? She is leaving the programme and is pretty bitter about Garry's betrayal. Or is it Big Pat herself? I'm so excited I might just pee!

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

'Who kills Laura?'

Twin Peaks flashback...

― pete s, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Never did find out, did we?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't even know she was going to be murdered.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

we did mark! 'twas her dad.

― pete s, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so bored I might hold it in for a while. Laura = duller than dull Jack McDull, fourth place in last years Mr Dull contest. Let us face it, mes amis, would you really notice she was gone?

But whilst we're at it, what has happened to poor old Lass from the bookies who got sacked and was snogging Ash and now seems to have disappeared offfa the face of the earth whilst Ash is UGH you know what with UGH you know who??

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

oohhhhh that's right.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

i've crushed on laura since she came to walford.

― pete s, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Twin Peaks"? Her father did it.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw maaaaaaaaaaan!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

She has gone to New Zealand to stay with her son, and will probably never come back and that's a good thing because let's face it she WAS the most boring character in soap history.

(xpost - Pete... ewwwwwwwwww)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Was it the scenes in the chipshop that did it for you?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

(Prediction - it is neither Ian's nor Gary's baby and there is an Evil Rapist in Walford who bumps her off. That would be good).

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

shit is this beyond the pale?
she's hott!
(btw i haven't watched ee in about two years so i don't know how tedious she's got)

― pete s, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Really? Well I completely missed THAT blip on my radar. She was amusing when heating up meals for one and crying into her bedsheets about having no-one to eat Meals For Two with, and then it was all Mr Nastypants with his loud music gayism.

The "Walford book group" concept was amusing though, if only because "walford" and "book" in the same sentence = funny. Apart from Jannine's "big book o' moiders".

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fire Walk With Me" really was a let down. Focusing the entire flick on Sheryl Lee, herself not good enough an actress to hold center stage, was not the best idea Lynch ever had.

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

The only person in Eastenders who ever reads books is Ash and that's because he works at a University, innit?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

matronly

― pete s, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm glad i stopped watching this programme

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes but he only knows his words from packets of playing cards and bookie's slips for he is addicted to Lady Luck!!

Vicky: "oh Ash, come to the bookies"
Ash: "no"
Vicky: UGGGHS
Ash: ARHGRHGAHR

Sorry, the latter half of that dialogue had to be censored by my brain it being SO RUBBIDGE.

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

dialogue like that would lure me back

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Gah! If Laura is killed off then my anecdote about having a date with H4nn4h W4t3rm4n will lose all value!

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

VICKY BLOODY FOWLER THOUGH.

I liked Ian's attempt to be the cool "uncle" figure.

"Ere Vicky, want some free chips", yeah right Adam Woodyatt, we're sold...

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

What happened in Eastenders towards the end of last week? Why is Vicky not trying to make love to Ash anymore? The last scene I saw between them was semi-pornographic.

Haha I was about to post "WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD FANCY LAURA BEALE?!" but Bazza has just answered that.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

barry you never

― pete s, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Hang on... YOU HAD A DATE WITH HANNAH WATERMAN?!!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Please tell me she was The Fishnets Girl.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry in wannabe Beale shaggah shockah!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

In a way, aren't we all guilty of killing Laura?

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't care about Eastenders anymore I want to hear Mark's story.

This is literally the most exciting piece of information I have ever picked up from ILE. I'm all of a flutter.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

In a way, aren't we all guilty of killing Laura?

No, that's the Kennedys you're thinking of.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Think of Laura, but laugh, don't cry, I know she'd want it that way.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Vicky was using Ash, so that when Sharon and Dennis arrived back they could catch them AT IT!!!! in Sharon's bed and get all aflustered. Ash found out that Vicky was using him and stormed out. Then Vicky left Sharon's and Kareena offered to let her stay with the Ferrarris, no, Ferreras, haha bet that joke has never been done before. Ash was angry, then Vicky was all weepy and he rediscovered a platonic friendship THAT NEVER EXISTED BEFORE, IDIOTS!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean CHRIST do they think we have a small memory spa oh hey look it's sunny outside oh I might get a cup of ...

huh?

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm annoyed that Barry's story beats my Barry story

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Matt, I'll tell you later. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Leland Palmer did not kill his daughter Laura per se, he was possessed by "Bob" who according to the Twin Peaks FAQ:

This much is given to us: BOB is a disembodied spirit
capable of taking over a human being. After he takes over,
he manipulates his human host to commit acts of sex and
violence and 'feeds' upon the emotions this produces. He is
connected in some manner with other spirits which appear in
either or both of the Black Lodge and White Lodge. An
entrance to the Black Lodge (shown as the red room) is in
Glastonbury Grove in the woods outside of Twin Peaks.

...

In a question and answer session, Mark Frost indicated that
the idea for BOB originated in American Indian mythology and
that he was a local evil spirit whose presence in the Twin
Peaks area dates back to ancient times. See also "The List
of 7", Mark Frost's novel (see question M5), which deals
with evil beings (both real and supernatural), the "dweller
on the threshold", and the teachings of Helena Blavatsky,
the founder of Theosophy and originator of the idea of the
"white lodge".

It further appears that BOB is a 'servant' or agent
(familiar) of other Lodge spirits. The events in FWWM imply
that at times he is out of control and acting on his own
rather than for the Lodge.

Mike [episode 13]: "Do you understand the parasite? It
attaches itself to a life form and feeds. Eh. BOB requires
a human host. He feeds on fear ... and the pleasures.
They are his children. I am similar to BOB. We once were
partners."

Mike also says BOB was his 'familiar' (not vice/versa as has
been erroneously reported):

Cooper: You spoke to me in my dream ... about BOB.
Mike: Mmm. He ... was ... my familiar.

In witchcraft, a familiar is a slave spirit that the
sorcerer uses to help him/her. In some traditions the
familiar is a demon that may appear in the form of an
animal. In Malaya, owls and badgers are popular familiars
while the cat is commonly associated with witches in popular
US culture.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

some people have far too much time on their hands

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Spoiler! It's actually Janine who offs Laura, but by accident. Pat then sets up J. to take the fall for this one because no progress made on other 'accident', so J. off to pokey where she may even be allowed to spin off into her own show.

Hannah Waterman apparently haaaaaaaates her stepmum Rula Lenska. Her bronchitis lip/repaired cleft palate look has always bugged me for some reason.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

mark c to thread.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Killing one person by accident might be considered unfortunate, two is just careless.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Forgot also: met the Vicky girl at a launch once, she was nice. Her dad's a producer who is friends with Ismail Merchant and they live in Crouch End. However her character is diabolical.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

good accent though

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

She knows she's shit at it, for all that's worth.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

no, I think it's pretty accurate

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

She hasn't done the accent for months!

The idea of Jerneen in her own prison spinoff show is brilliant. It'd be like Frasier meets Prisoner Cell Block H.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

As I recall, Barry and Laura stood each other up at Warwick Uni.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry is a love rat.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Unquestionably.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

vicky doesn't have an accent?

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Which Vicky are we talking about now?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

nevermind, does she have an accent?

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone has an accent!

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

you've made one of us look stupid.

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard you got a haircut.

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, it makes me look stupid.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

you made two of us look stupid!

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm with stupid.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

what is this thread about?

count me as among those who thought 'twin peaks' instantly

― !!!! (amateurist), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate it when you leave the country and Eastenders gets interesting.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Hold on a fucking minute, Janine killed Barry???!!!!?????**@@@?>

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you blame her?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry Lasagne had it coming.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

He tried it.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Janine married Barry for his money but was boffing Paul on the side, and then bottled everything the day after the wedding, up in the Highlands. Bazza tried to embrace her and she pushed him away and he tumbled to his death on a rock, amid fantastic scenery. She then ran down and put a flower in his hand. It was like Chaucer meets Walter Scott meets Nick Cave.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I phoned Denise Robertson and she agreed it was ridiculous.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's Denise Robertson? Man I hate Wednesdays caue there's no fix of Easties. I've chewed my finger nails down to bloody stumps and my eyelid kes twitching. Can you see it? Look - the left one.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.hendon-hub.org.uk/denise.jpg

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

John Culshaw's impression of Denise Robertson is fucking hilarious.

― pete s, Wednesday, 17 March 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Forgot also: met the Vicky girl at a launch once, she was nice. Her dad's a producer who is friends with Ismail Merchant and they live in Crouch End. However her character is diabolical.

-- suzy

I met her once too as she used to go out with one of my housemates. They're still in fairly regular contact. I thought she was lovely.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Glad to get some corroboration, she seems very well brought up. IIRC her dad's American but has ben over here for ages.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! Hark at Janine calling Pat a hooker!
Isn't Paul the most suspicious looking character on the telly? The way his shifty yellow eyes growl out from under his permanently frowning brow - that bloke should be locked up for looking BAD.

Oh yeah, and I should get out more, wean myself off the evil addiction that is Eastenders.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

It's weird that he's allowed to smoke so much. In the context of modern TV, that's enough to make him seem evil.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Gus's "piece" was the one that got me.

Steady on.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread makes me think of christmas in capetown, now.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, what shall transpire tonight eh, eh? That Gus caper is all silly nonsense, what was with the psychotic dustman and his speaking part? Grrr. Had to check the telly listings there to make sure the Celtic game doesn't clash with tonights episode. Just as well for Mr Pumpkin that it doesn't.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Thursday, 25 March 2004 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck sake
i thought this was going to be some huge twin peaks thread i'd missed

― robin (robin), Friday, 26 March 2004 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

Go Pat! The Ol' Butchers window is getting Janine back for stealing the Heid Hooker title. I've rarely been so excited in my life. So, Janine tries to have Paul act as an alibi by offering him her lips, but the big chap spurns her as well! Oooh, I'm near peeing myself!

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

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