My cat is a retarded potato

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Since I couldn't be bothered to find the last cat thread:

http://www.sit.wisc.edu/~amgreene/newpics/batesdeadgopherdetail.jpg

If I didn't know better, I might think that his bulk was photoshopped.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's the context:

http://www.sit.wisc.edu/~amgreene/newpics/batesdeadgopher.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

That is not a cat. That is an article of clothing. Possibly from one of Mary's tippett threads.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

aw he's cute!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

My puppy may be a bit of a liar

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Look on the bright side. That cat's got great fur and pretty eyes.

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

He looks like a rug!! cute though!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Awwwwwwwwwwww!

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

He looks like one of those cute animal shaped back-packs!

― C J (C J), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Shag--carpet kitty!!! ROCK!!

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

hee hee. you can use your cat to dust!

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Thursday, 8 April 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the zoom out shot. Does it just lie there all the time in that same position shpozzing?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 8 April 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

He looks exactly like my cat except my cat has grey fur.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 8 April 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep, that's standard procedure. He's not very catlike in general, and he's genuinely cognitively disabled. His name is Bates as in Beethoven, because he's deaf you see. He fucking rules.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

make fries!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 April 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Roll Over, Beethoven!

― C J (C J), Thursday, 8 April 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.hat.net/album/middle_east/001_turkey/003_food/018_a_cat_that_eats_french_fries_-_selcuk.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

ooooh, i have one exactly like that, only black and white, with paws the size of fists and a big glaucomic eye. why do fat cats love to roll on their back so?

i spent most of today in bed after a holocaustal hangover involving much vomit and blaqcking out. when i woke up, he was pressed against me, on my side, like he was spooning me. i was simultaneously hugely moved and a little freaked out.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it's easier on their back, instead of having that pendulous belly working against gravity all the time. Or something.

Other amusing features of this cat: he will pet your head or arm when he wants to be pet, and he loves jumping in baths/showers and drinking from the faucet.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Your cat is like a combination of cats I've had! (One of them does the bath/shower/faucet thing, and often has a wet head. My ex's cat was huge like yours until she got a kitten and he burned off the weight chasing it around. The kitten is mute, which comically mirrors your cat's deafness.)

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

my fat cat also likes lying on her back. she's a manx so also likes to lie on her tummy with her back legs straight behind her.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I have this urge to post pictures of my cat now, but unfortunately I don't have any here on this work computer.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Manx! Does it do that because it doesn't have a tail?

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha Tep, my cat lost all the genetic lotteries I guess. He also has no teeth, basically. :(

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

But he does look adorable and sweet.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

EDR, we demand pics of your cat. What is his/her name? Please don't tell me if it is Sanrio related.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

He sounds great, though! It's not like he's out on his own having to fend off Officer Dibble and prowl around fire escapes.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

No, he's a great cat, and he seems very happy with his deficiencies. Bates is full of love.

(more pictures of other people's cats please!)

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

This is Pepper keeping me from taking my jacket:

http://www.idea-inc.com/~bill/pepperjacket.jpg

And this is Gretchen, who likes to sit on warm pizza boxes:

http://www.idea-inc.com/~bill/gretchenpizza.jpeg

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Bates is very photoshop worthy. (please don't be afraid)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's what someone did with him (that makes me afraid to go home):

http://webpages.charter.net/sheridan01/Bates-Clone-Army.jpg

And here's our other cat:

http://www.sit.wisc.edu/~amgreene/environment/new/beepercomic.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Mmmmm. Pizza.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

That photoshop photo makes me think of the Muppets, for some reason.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"So, Miiiisteeeerrr Aaanndersoooon...."

― Agent Retarded Potato Smith (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Gretchen also likes to sit on top of the cabinets:

http://www.idea-inc.com/~bill/rrawr.jpg

And to climb into boxes, of course:

http://www.idea-inc.com/~bill/gretchenbox.jpg

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

HOLY FING SHIT!

I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe I'll post some tomorrow, since I get off of work early! Pablo deserves global recognition.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 8 April 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes! Post Pablo.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"fing shit", isn't that that thing where hippies arrange their furniture so their 'flow' doesn't get all constipated?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Gretchen is cute. Is she pretty young?

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

What is db's cat-related realization?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

She's about two years old now, almost, but she's pretty small for her age.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it wasn't cat-related at all and he went to some other thread to post it.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

He is, as we speak, starting a cult devoted to the Madonna of the Retarded Potato.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

One day, several years ago, I got a kitten who was very scared of the world at large. I left for work the next morning, and when I came home for lunch, I couldn't find her anywhere. Looked under and in the bed, in the closet, in the kitchen, behind and in the couches, in the cabinets, everywhere. No cat. Asked my neighbors, no one had seen her. I was distraught. Realized at the same time that nature was calling, so I went into the bathroom, sat down and looked to my left, at the bathroom door.

http://www3.mb.sympatico.ca/lunacrap!/LittleSydney.jpg

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www3.mb.sympatico.ca/lunacrap!/LittleSydney.jpg

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

One more time: http://www3.mb.sympatico.ca/~bshurb/lunacrap!/LittleSydney.jpg

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

That is a scared kitten. The story really elevates that picture.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy crap! It has a face like a coy koala.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 April 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 45 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

AAAAAAGHGHGGGGGGKKKK!!!!!!!!

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 12 April 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I was thinking, "4.4 pounds is not much at all, is this some sort of midget breed," and then realized that was its food!

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

DAEREST KITTEY

― Leee O'Gaddy (Leee), Monday, 12 April 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

it's only 2 kilos of food a day!

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Monday, 12 April 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...

I forgot all about this thread. Luna's story/cat pic made me crack up again.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 7 October 2004 13:00 (twenty years ago)

How did I miss this thread?! Oh my god. It's the best ever.

Our kitty Lucy is a fattie too and spends most of her time on her back, all paws in the air like Jordan's cat, except that ours has stripes that accentuate her fattiness.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 7 October 2004 13:17 (twenty years ago)

Nonsense. They are slenderizing stripes.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 October 2004 13:24 (twenty years ago)

Damn i gotta get some pics of my kitties on here. they'r growing up so fast!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 7 October 2004 13:47 (twenty years ago)

Twice in as many weeks, while lying in bed, I have been bitten in the face by Mr. Kitty. I have no idea who told him this was a cool thing to do. He broke the skin both times.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 7 October 2004 13:53 (twenty years ago)

My kitten keeps doing that, although not as badly as yours by the sounds of it. She licks my ear & then nibbles it! Anyone got on tips on letting kittens out & leaving them for the first time?

― Nervous mother (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 7 October 2004 13:55 (twenty years ago)

Lucy likes to lick noses, but I used to have a cat who woke me up by biting my nose.

Pink, Have you already brought them outside and sat with them?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 7 October 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago)

Molly does that too!
Yeah I've been outside with them & last w/e we sat in the conservatory while they played in the garden. Molly then jumped the fence (she did that on her 2nd ever time out!) & went next door. eventually we went & got her. I know we've just got to let her go wherever, but I'm having a little trouble with it you know.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:22 (twenty years ago)

Could you have a kitty door or something so they can come back inside when they want?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:24 (twenty years ago)

You don't have to let them out, you know.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah we've got a cat flap, but it's just leaving them our there & not knowing where they are. :-(
Jordan - i know that, but i think it's better for them if they do. Also Molly is getting quite naughty & I'm sure she's getting bored. She's really confident outside so i'm sure she'd prefer to be out there!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:27 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I still don't know how I feel about that. Growing up, we let our cats outside all the time and it was just fine, except for the mouse guts that they would routinely gift our front step with. Years later, we moved to the city and stopped letting them out and that was fine too.

My girlfriend and I have both had cats not come back from the outdoors, and at this point I think I would just worry too much about them. Then again, I also feel bad that my cats are stuck in a not-huge apartment all the time, so there isn't really a good solution right now.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:30 (twenty years ago)

Well that;s it, what if they didnt come back, i'd die!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:47 (twenty years ago)

That's why you need to fatten them up so they can't get very far.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:50 (twenty years ago)

haha! Molly is so independent though. Mungo hasn't really mastered jumping yet, so he hsa trouble climbing, so he's cool & will stay in the garden.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:52 (twenty years ago)

My friend's cat B-nu (Bruno, really) is so large that he made my entire leg numb while he slept on it during all of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last night.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:54 (twenty years ago)

Mr. Kitty has been a city/apartment cat his whole life, I think he's agoraphobic. Whenever I leave the door open by mistake he peeks his head out, then runs back in. On the couple of occasions that he's made it as far as actually taking a couple of steps out into the hallway he freezes up and then skitters back inside at top speed the first time he sees me. I think in his mind it is impossible to imagine a space as vast and boundless as the corridors of my building.

I have called him a "piggy face" a few times but he's not really very fat at all, just more than when I met him.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 7 October 2004 15:39 (twenty years ago)

I don't let my cats out here, but it's mostly because too many of my cats have been run over by cars.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 7 October 2004 15:40 (twenty years ago)

My cat, Lucy, gets called Fatty, Fudge Pot, and Fudgey, because she is fat.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 October 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

I nominate this thread title as an all-time ILE greatest. If only it had a few 'deres' or 'grebts' innit, it'd be catapulted to godliness.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 7 October 2004 15:49 (twenty years ago)

DAEREST FATTEY

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 7 October 2004 15:50 (twenty years ago)

So what about tips letting them out in the country?

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 8 October 2004 06:52 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v360/morethanrats/cat.jpg

― mei (mei), Friday, 8 October 2004 10:54 (twenty years ago)

Um,

― mei (mei), Friday, 8 October 2004 10:56 (twenty years ago)

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v360/morethanrats/cat.jpg[/IMG]

― mei (mei), Friday, 8 October 2004 10:56 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I give up!

― mei (mei), Friday, 8 October 2004 10:57 (twenty years ago)

oh mei, they are gorgeous! beautiful eyes. I wanna go home & snuggle my kitties. :-(

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 8 October 2004 11:00 (twenty years ago)

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 8 October 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

Pink, it seems like it's better to let them out around your house in familiar surroundings, where they can hide back inside if necessary. I would worry about taking them out to the country, them getting lost or not being able to make their way back to "home." But I am a worrywart.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 8 October 2004 15:20 (twenty years ago)

Mei's cats all look like my Pepper.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 8 October 2004 15:21 (twenty years ago)

eleven months pass...

This thread remains my finest contribution to ILX. Too bad a lot of the pictures are gone.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 01:00 (nineteen years ago)

my cat ate something weird yesterday, we don't know what but it might have been one of my husbands anti-depressants. She has been buggin' out all yesterday and today.

― Bombed Out and Depleted / Kate (papa november), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 01:10 (nineteen years ago)

my cats eat bugs

― jimmy glass (electricsound), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 05:06 (nineteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

i think this cat is to blame for the New Answers Outage

― the dow nut industrial average dead joe mama besser (donut), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:41 (eighteen years ago)

It is true. Sorry.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:50 (eighteen years ago)

eight months pass...

I'm disappointed that Luna's cat pic is gone, would've made a great lolcat.

― Jordan, Thursday, 10 May 2007 18:19 (eighteen years ago)

;__________; want to see retarded potato cat tooo

― bell_labs, Thursday, 10 May 2007 18:39 (eighteen years ago)

I don't even still have it myself, Jordan - wish I did.

― luna, Thursday, 10 May 2007 18:40 (eighteen years ago)

My girlfriend has just made this of my cat:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v219/nikizd/moom.jpg

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 10 May 2007 18:42 (eighteen years ago)

want to see retarded potato cat tooo

You can see it in donut bitch's brilliant photoshoppage mid-thread.

― Jordan, Thursday, 10 May 2007 18:51 (eighteen years ago)

http://photos.friendster.com/photos/54/64/1074645/381848258797l.jpg

wtf

― HI DERE, Thursday, 10 May 2007 18:58 (eighteen years ago)

OW MY ACHING BRANE

― Abbott, Thursday, 10 May 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f86/igotabeefpastry/Buddies.jpg

Here is the late FATSY, retarded potato cat extraordinaire. She weighed abt. 20 lbs., just lazed around all day. Needed assistance getting on beds. So full of love, she'd start purring if you looked at her. Also to retarded to try to do anything but groom the guinea pig (that's a guinea pig, not a hamster, as a scaling reference).

― Abbott, Thursday, 10 May 2007 19:17 (eighteen years ago)

BIG MOOOM

― and what, Thursday, 10 May 2007 19:17 (eighteen years ago)

holy shit that baby and...the thing from donnie darko??? wtf

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 10 May 2007 19:19 (eighteen years ago)

Kitties! I am relieved that my parents cat is not the only 'special' cat out there. It r dumb!

― kv_nol, Friday, 11 May 2007 09:12 (eighteen years ago)

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