The weirdest spam e-mail I've ever received

To confuse spam filters scanning tops and/or tails or those that use a weighting system based on "content" to determine something == spam.

This "technique" started in the computer virus underground, as one example, over a decade ago. Some anti-virus scanners could be confused by inserting the equivalent of garbage instructions, pseudo-nested loops, or other pieces of meaningless code in the head of the virus. In other words, it's a form of electronic jamming.

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Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment: I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Latitude N 42.48018 & Longitude W 071.15503 and the Elevation is 96. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!! I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You

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Päiväys: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 16:47:50 -0600
Lähettäjä: "Philippic E. Pawed"
Vastaanottaja: Ttalho
Otsikko: I've heard a lot about you

Touche!

Do widzenia

This the message in its whole; no attachments, no ads, no nothing. I have no idea who "Philippic E. Pawed" is or where he has heard of me...

Moral courage is a more rare commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

The only laws of matter are those that our minds must fabricate and the only laws of mind are fabricated for it by matter.
When we turn to one another for counsel we reduce the number of our enemies.

We may have found a cure for most evils but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings.
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
May you live all the days of your life.
Life, an age to the miserable, and a moment to the happy.

Belief creates the actual fact.

Be the green grass above me, with showers and dewdrops wet and if thou wilt, remember, and if thou wilt, forget.

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse. Don't borrow money from a neighbor or a friend, but of a stranger where, paying for it you shall hear of it no more.

A bad cause will never be supported by bad means and bad men. The greatest pleasure I know, is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.
This will never be a civilized country until we expend more money for books than we do for chewing gum.
The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Gracefulness is to the body what understanding is to the mind.

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody -- it saves so much trouble. Proclaim not all thou knowest, all thou knowest, all thou hast, nor all thou cans't. We grow neither better or worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.

You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself and how little I deserve it.

No furniture is so charming as books.

Search not a wound too deep lest thou make a new one.
It's sad that, in our blindness we gather thorns for flowers:

Na ave kashilwepo nawa

Chance happens to all, but to turn chance to account is the gift of few.

The injuries we do and the injuries we suffer are seldom weighed on the same scales.
I have lived, and I have run the course which fortune allotted me and now my shade shall descend illustrious to the grave.

The pleasures of the palate deal with us like the Egyptian thieves, who strangle those whom they embrace.
The public do not know enough to be experts, but know enough to decide between them. Art has to move you and design does not, unless it's a good design for a bus. The arts and inventions of each period are only its costume, and do not invigorate men.

The men who succeed are the efficient few. They are the few who have the ambition and will power to develop themselves. A land without ruins is a land without memories -- a land without memories is a land without history.
As to conforming outwardly, and living your own life inwardly, I have not a very high opinion of that course.
It is easier to guard a sack full of fleas than a girl in love.One is taught by experience to put a premium on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are. Unless people can be kept in the dark, it is best for those who love the truth to give them the full light.

Half-starved spiders prey'd on half-starved flies.
Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady, but a newspaper can always print a retraction. Happiness is not a matter of events it depends upon the tides of the mind.

It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.
There are only two kinds of coaches -- those who have been fired, and those who will be fired. Our impartiality is kept for abstract merit and demerit, which none of us ever saw.
You must not enthrone ignorance just because there is much of it.

This is a tough game. There are times when you've got to play hurt, when you've got to block out the pain.
Funeral pomp is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.

Mbae mi lukem yutufala

Hi I,

Do You like watching real live people, getting down and dirty. Well here you go for a limited time only you can get a Lifetime password at no charge, that's right no charge...

voted #1 new website in 2005 by the industry..

http://sometimes.aurilavepoppetleggumdigging.com/369997/rpm/lifetime.html

Half a loaf is better than none.

Drop a penny leave it lay. Divide and conquer. . The meek shall inherit the earth. . Cold hands, warm heart. . To eat one's heart out.

All's fair in love and war.

no more? http://chance.and.aurilavepoppetleggumdigging.com/emms/preference/control.php

Actions speak louder than words. . It's not over till it's over. . Find a coin pick it up. Listen to the pot calling the kettle black. . There is no fool like an old fool. . See nothing, say nothing, know nothing. .

You never know what you can do till you try. . Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. . Honesty is the best policy. .

Päiväys: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 19:31:59 -0800
Lähettäjä: "Patent M. Spoilage"
Vastaanottaja: Ttalho
Otsikko: Adieu.

HOLA!

Chjetji

Again, this is the whole message: no ads, no attachments, nothing.
And www.immobilarea.it seems to be the homepage of some sort of Italian college. Does anyone know if this is caused by a virus, or what's the point of it?

Just wondering, y'know those Christmas cards that are often sent out requesting a donation or return of the cards? Does anyone ever send them back?

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/

Its worth doing - there's a form on the website. We haven't stopped getting junk calls altogether, but there are certainly a lot less - we were getting 5 or 6 a day at one point.

I probably sound like I'm getting a comission off them.

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/nitsuh/mohan3.jpg

Totally for real! (NB for a second I was gonna feel sorry for whatever unrelated person's pictures they dug up for this, but actually there are three pics, and in one of them the dude seems to be so overacting his pain and suffering that maybe spam has gotten to the point of doing its own photo shoots now? I dunno.)

Not actually the most interesting read, really, but Wacky Millionaire Offers You Lifetime Opportunity On A DARE (whoooaaa!) is a new one to me!

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a minute to read this, my name is Shawn Casey, and I'm a millionaire that was dared to do something insane, and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I''m giving away an in-depth Internet marketing course to 250 people today.

Press here before you become the 251st person:
http://mojd✧✧✧.com✧✧✧.php?71341+nathan_l✧✧✧@ya✧✧✧.c✧✧

You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you'll have this awesome Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!

Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...:
[url had my email in it]

It's true, the Crazy Millions course is all about giving you the "insider" information that can literally change your life.

Work from your computer and start enjoying what only a few others have access to. The secret to millions from the Internet.

Once you know what to do and how the experts do it, you will be able to quickly ramp up your own success. But it all starts with the Secret.

Press here to get it now:
[snippity edit]

Thank You,

Shawn Casey
Internet Millionaire

PS. The Secret to making your life, the life you want it, begins with knowledge. For the 1000's of students I have taught to enjoy a better life, it all started with
learning the secrets the pros know.

Oh hey, I missed one of the urls with my e-mail in it and ILX edited it out for any anyway. Thanks ILX auto-whatever!

I type good.