so there is a gigantic insect in my house.

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no, really gigantic. i mean it. like, naked lunch rub some powder on my lips huge. i tried to trap it under a box, but it outsmarted me. now i'm sitting here in terror, unable to do anything but eat corn chips and stare at the spot i think it ran off to. seriously, you guys... it's making a whirring noise!

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

call up woody allen to come over and kill it for you

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Sunday, 1 August 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

name it fido and train it to make you a cup of tea

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 1 August 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i dunno if i can help you, my reaction to bugs in the house is always panic.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 1 August 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Bugs that large only hunger for one thing: human flesh.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 1 August 2004 06:38 (twenty-one years ago)

what kind of bug is it?

― gaz (gaz), Sunday, 1 August 2004 06:57 (twenty-one years ago)

you have any hairspray? just spray the whole bottle in the general area where the guy was seen last. (I assume you don't have any Raid handy)

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 1 August 2004 07:11 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a meta-bug, loads of little bugs have joined up to make a super-ginat bug. It's kinda Manga-ish.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 1 August 2004 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Do some dishes.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 1 August 2004 08:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Describe your bug? We have these things which look like baby wasps and chill on the ceiling.

― suzy (suzy), Sunday, 1 August 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

silverfish?

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 1 August 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I know from silverfish. These have the stripey backside but it is not as obvious as real bees/wasps/hornets, and like to fly.

They're not those weird daddy longlegs/mosquito crossbreed things which do 'push-ups' while sitting there - my mom calls these wombats - either.

― suzy (suzy), Sunday, 1 August 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Hoverflies?

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 1 August 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, there are lots of hoverflies about this year.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a waterbug. at least, that's what i call them. i think they're called palmetto bugs in the south, a very nice name for an utterly foul creature. they look like enormous cockroaches, and they can fly. i suppose i misspoke upthread when i said that it outsmarted me - i should have said that it moved too quickly for the box i threw at it from about six feet away to be of any effect. in any case, i have no idea where it's gone and am anticipating bug horror at every turn.

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

They are around where I am too. They make such a racket when they fly around. And they are monstrous.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

His name is Gregor Samsa.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

there is some water bug talk on here as well:

How Are The Bugs Where You Are?

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

they seem bad-tempered, which freaks me out.

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Ugh, those things. Hate 'em -- they should leave humans alone, as I have no reason to despise them so, but they insist on appearing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

They get really freaked out when they can't get outside. They don't like being cooped up.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this the critter?

http://www.admaso.com/bluestar/8.jpg

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

that's a really great thread. i had found a waterbug in the bathroom that morning, which is not the best thing to face first thing half-asleep.

xpost - IF THEY HATE BEING INSIDE SO MUCH THEN WHY DID ONE DECIDE TO COME OVER LAST NIGHT??

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

they're more free-range insects, then¿

― dyson (dyson), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

You know not terror until faced with the dreaded potato bug.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

that's fairly close to life size too.

iso there is a gigantic insect in my house.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

LAUREN ILL BE RIGHT THERE WITH A LARGE SHOE

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

er wait, what? hang on one second

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

ahh better

http://www.potatobugs.com/pix/images/potatobug_10.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

On the son-of-a-bitch-insect front -- ENZO GOT STUNG BY A BEE. (Enzo = my parents'/my kitten.) I took him outside on his little harness and he pounced on a bee and it stung him. He jumped three feet in the air and screamed. I started to cry. Now he's favoring his other paw. Jesus Christ. I might have to take him to the vet. I don't know.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

LAUREN ILL BE RIGHT THERE WITH NEW YORK TIMES WEEKEND EDITION

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

goddammit why are insects such assholes?

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

CUTTY PLS HURRY IM SHAKING WITH FEAR AND ALSO WANT TO DO THE CROSSWORD

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, Lauren, I had my fare share of waterbugs when I was at F0rdh4m up in the Bronx. Motherfuckers were the size of mice. And it takes half a can of Raid to kill them.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(how about "fair," not fare. I'm so bent out of shape because of that fucking bee, I can't spell.)

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Back in my parents' house in Illinois, there's a yearly invasion of earwigs that just about takes over the whole damn house. Those fuckers get everywhere.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Cutty, C on that bug's Ts!

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

C: KILLS B'S D

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

― Paul (scifisoul), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

viewing that potato bug photo made me shiver

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

should =
http://www.richard-seaman.com/Wallpaper/Nature/Horrors/HouseCentipede.jpg

― Paul (scifisoul), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think i want to look at that.

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh. you don't. double shivers.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Lauren, I hate to invade your thread like this, but I'd just like to say that Enzo's right paw is swollen so it looks like he's wearing a boxing glove. Fucking asshole bee. I hope it died a horrible, agonizing death.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

aww kitty. give him some tuna and melted ice cream to compensate.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

poor enzo. : (

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

you may have to ice your kitty

― dyson (dyson), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

as in put ice on enzo's paw.
not the other kind of "ice".

― dyson (dyson), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i keep thinking that i hear it, scuttling around waiting to attack.

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

please people:

ins3ct5!

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 1 August 2004 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 86 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

but if you faint aren't they more likely to declare statehood on your unconscious frame?

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 27 August 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

but if you faint aren't they more likely to declare statehood on your unconscious frame?

that's where getting a boyfriend and/or a butch roommate comes in. guess i should have mentioned that. my bad.

― jewelly (jewelly), Friday, 27 August 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.lightupthesky.com/issue7/pics/yb20.jpg

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 27 August 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ok. i've experienced the hell of the "water bug"/"palmetto bug"/king hell cockroach - i lived in florida for 3 years and there, they don't even try to hide until you spray them with half a can of wasp spray. they are freaking evil.

if you see these bastards around your house, chances are they're coming out of the drains in your bathroom and kitchen. keep them closed! especially if it's raining outside. check for holes around the baseboards and around windows, too, but 99% of the time it seems to be the drains.

also - it could be worse. one morning i was waking up to a beautiful, 106% humidity florida morning and felt a...distinct...tickling feeling. below my equator. more specifically, betwixt my cheeks. it was a palmetto bug. i practically bathed in bleach and burned the house down after that.

― el sabor de gene (yournullfame), Friday, 27 August 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(and just be glad you don't have the small 'german' cockroaches - those things are supposed to be nightmarish to get rid of.)

― el sabor de gene (yournullfame), Friday, 27 August 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f83/swestlake/6b9a7cf7.jpg

WHAT IS IT????

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:10 (nineteen years ago)

it was abt 2" long.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:11 (nineteen years ago)

silverfish? too many legs, maybe

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:32 (nineteen years ago)

argh! ick! yuck! aieee! i found one of those once when i was a small child! and i'm just as disgusted right now as i was then! ugh, this is like post-traumatic stress disorder!

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:37 (nineteen years ago)

prob in that family. This is useful:
http://www.einsteins-emporium.com/life/animal-info/insects/insect_identification.htm

oops sorry lauren!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:38 (nineteen years ago)

argh fuck those things
i'm pretty sure it's a type of centipede

― sleep (sleep), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:39 (nineteen years ago)

I think it's a centipede. Here's a similar on What's that bug: http://www.whatsthatbug.com/cent_2.html

xpost

― Jaq (Jaq), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:41 (nineteen years ago)

you are right! it is a house centipede!

http://www.uky.edu/Ag/Entomology/entfacts/struct/ef647.htm

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:42 (nineteen years ago)

And now I am jumping around my office with heebie-jeebies from looking at all those!

― Jaq (Jaq), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:42 (nineteen years ago)

omg jaq and that one is from st louis too! it must just be the season. I am so glad I know about whatsthatbug.com now though.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:44 (nineteen years ago)

I set it free outside, I am such a softie.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:45 (nineteen years ago)

Ugh - I hate those guys - they're fast - they can see me coming and don't seem to like being killed.

xpost - you know it's going to come back!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:47 (nineteen years ago)

With all it's many-legged friends!!

― Jaq (Jaq), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:49 (nineteen years ago)

well I did spray it with hairspray first, maybe I am not a softie.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:49 (nineteen years ago)

aaaaaagh i can't believe i looked at this thread while eating dinner.

but i posted about a year ago about these bugs! But to some other thread, I will have to look for it. HOUSE CENTIPEDES! aagh, they are fast too. I have since moved houses and I hope they are not in this one... My key advice: shake your towel out before you wrap it around you after a shower.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:52 (nineteen years ago)

Imagine waking up staring face to face with this:

HI DERE!
http://dracoverdi.home.mindspring.com/pictures/shinyPotatoBug.jpg

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 23 March 2006 23:59 (nineteen years ago)

oh, that's not that terrible. i mean, there are worse.

ah-ha - it was just over a year ago! the house centipedes HAVE RETURNED.
Insects: Search and Destroy

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

Is that a queen ant? I found one of those in a bin of records in my room once. It was making horrifying clicking noises. I trapped it in a cup, then put it in a garbage bag to carry it outside, and it crawled up the inside of the bag and touched my hand through the plastic, and I had a full panic attack.

― Tiki Theater Xymposium (Bent Over at the Arclight), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:05 (nineteen years ago)

house centipedes are nasty fast fuckers. they blend into household colors way too easily.

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:07 (nineteen years ago)

IS A POTATO BUG

― R.I.P. West Village Bird Shaman ]-`: (ex machina), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:07 (nineteen years ago)

I think he looks sorta friendly.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:15 (nineteen years ago)

in a slimy, wanna-eradicate-his-kind-from-the-face-of-the-earth-way, yeah

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:19 (nineteen years ago)

i never liked lethoceruses
http://image.space.rakuten.co.jp/lg01/02/0000000402/19/img9f60f86f198w23.jpeg
ihttp://creatures.ifas.ufl.edu/misc/bugs/belostomatid02.htm
they are mad predators with a good bite .
they fly in a clumbsy-chaotic way so you are never sure if things will take a turn into your face

― rory@, Friday, 24 March 2006 00:28 (nineteen years ago)

xpost; awww how could anyone want to eradicate that widdle face?

ihttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/dysign/ilx/friendlybug.jpg

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://static.flickr.com/6/7838600_8caf1d1a3c.jpg

We had several of these guys visit us when we were in Thailand.

― Rotgutt (Rotgutt), Friday, 24 March 2006 01:11 (nineteen years ago)

whaty?!?1?!

― R.I.P. West Village Bird Shaman ]-`: (ex machina), Friday, 24 March 2006 01:24 (nineteen years ago)

Potato bug is the most classic 'bug' looking of all the bugs. It looks like that kid's game, Cooties or whatever it was called.

― andy --, Friday, 24 March 2006 01:29 (nineteen years ago)

Aw so ya think you got big ol' bad waterbugs in New York..

OBVIOUSLY YA NEVER BEEN TO OZ MATE!! AUSTRILIAN WAWTERBUGS WILL GO YA!

http://www.ento.csiro.au/publicity/pressrel/2004/images/waterbug.jpg

― Yoo Doo Steve Irwin (donut), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:19 (nineteen years ago)

i ouldn't live in Australia, with all your crazy venomous critters!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:21 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, it's just building up a tolerance to the neurotoxins... Sure, the first time you have puffyface for about a month or two the first two or three bites, but many who survive those become better after that.

― Yoo Doo Nut (donut), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:23 (nineteen years ago)

:( is that a Thai spider?? Or just an insect? if insect, ick, if spider, i'm feeling kind of ill and almost crying and running away. really. why does the brain make this distinction? 6 legs fine, can deal, 8 legs FREAK OUT.
xpost to the thing in the bathroom in thailand aaaah!

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:28 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know...bugs are "icky" but you can crush them as easily as a giant would crush a twinkie. Just mind they dont sleep in your genital

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Friday, 24 March 2006 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

you cant crush them if they're too fast for you, either by runnin or flying.

or if they come in swarms.

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 24 March 2006 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

i once had a house centipede (i call them silverfish) drop from the ceiling down onto my shirt collar ! fuck!

― o -- (eman), Friday, 24 March 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

fuck! i would have freaked out.

it would have been worse than the time a wasp got stuck in my shirt and stung my back several times before i could rip the shirt off (thankfully it was one of those light summer shirts with snaps down the front for easy removal).

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 24 March 2006 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

Its a spider.

― Rotgutt (Rotgutt), Friday, 24 March 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

aaaaaaagh.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 24 March 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

Some biting, stinging bug flew down my cleavage in the grocery produce section a few years ago. I was freaking out, wanting to rip my shirt off, but not daring to. I thought I was going to faint. I did the heebie-jeebie dance, pulled the hem of my shirt out and got the thing dislodged, but not before it bit me.

― Jaq (Jaq), Friday, 24 March 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

haha Jaq, for some reason I never figured you for a lady. i dont know why, i just thought you were a dude.

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 24 March 2006 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

i supose you could have man-boobs, in which case, i meant no offence :)

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 24 March 2006 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

Haha - SURPRISE! Definitely XX chromosomes.

― Jaq (Jaq), Friday, 24 March 2006 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

googling thai spider produced:

http://www.thai-toku.com/v2/pretonium/pictures/heroes/spiderman/SPAIDER_ATTACKING.JPG http://www.thai-toku.com/v2/pretonium/pictures/heroes/spiderman/Spider1.jpg

― smokemon (eman), Saturday, 25 March 2006 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

Or it could be the ass-cleavage of Jaq that had a bug in it.

All in all bugs are unacceptable and should be destroyed.

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Sunday, 26 March 2006 05:33 (nineteen years ago)

(hmmm - do I make the self-deprecating joke about having the occasional bug up my butt, or something about c(ockroaches) on t's, or just post the gratuitous cleavage shot with photoshopped bug? OR GOATSE with BUGS!!!!!???? Decisions, decisions.)

― Jaq (Jaq), Sunday, 26 March 2006 05:50 (nineteen years ago)

Just wear a thong to prevent future such encounters. Thongs prevent cleavage issues I think. That is why there is no thong bra

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Sunday, 26 March 2006 06:02 (nineteen years ago)

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