A Difficult But Crucial Post For Me: Cleaning Out My Closet

Some people here - Al, Kogan, Sym, dave q, eddy, DB, ethan, a few others - already know what I'm about to tell you, and trust me, shit's a doozy.

Before ILX was born I posted on the Bitchpork and FMBB boards and made a lot of friends, had a lot of fun, was pretty popular. Around when BP was dying I was having a pretty massive breakdown that I don't even wanna get into - lets just say that lifestyle and personal problems voltronned in a JUMBO fucking way and I ended up in hospital for a few weeks. I didn't feel like writing anything, especially when I was expected to be entertaining. Oh I dropped out of school too.

When I started my recovery I decided to relocate for a while to get my shit right. Naturally I immediately befriended some drug dealers and ended up rooming with two teenage crack runners. Their boss, who I'm still good friends with, wanted me there because I was older, knew the game a little, and knew how to deal with regular white people. I didn't partake in any slangin but at one point we must have had the hottest hard phone in the city and I was regularly tagging along for deliveries at witching hour, any hour, all day every day because honestly there was shit else for me to do. At this point I decided to get back online. BP was dead, FMBB had changed, so I decided I'd try to do my thing on this new ILX shit.

One of my roomies was possibly the funniest, most alive kid I'd ever met. At 19 he knew he'd never be shit but a pawn so he figured he'd just givr while the givn was good right? He grew up in the Jane-Finch projects of Toronto and was selling Bobby by age 12. The things he said were so hilarious and heartbreaking at once. His name was T. Ramos, number one Master P fan worldwide, Canada's worst nightmare. Since I was too sketch to revive my old online handle but I desparately wanted to write again, I created Ramosi, and T. seemed okay about it, since he hated computers. Ramosi was basically just me, your man in Vansterdam, writing the way I always wanted to write - completely free, wide eyed, balls out unbridled powerstyle hellfire. Sometimes it was about shit happening to me, sometimes it was about shit happening to T, and trust me, A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENED TO T. Bottom line, it had to be entertaining, because that's what I do. Hanging with T helped to really unlock the unflappably rugged side of me, the side of me I'd only been letting out in trickles beforehand. A lot of my crazy hostile rants were directed at myself - they were based on things T would make fun of me for - it was one hell of an identity experiment. it allowed me to express myself again, and I feel like I learned bottomlessly.

I retired Ramosi for two reasons: 1) like what happened to me on BP, my posts were getting to be too hotly anticipated, thus killing the naturalness of conception+execution 2) T. started smoking our shit, very secretly at first, quite hilariously openly near the end of things. Fortunately, (maybe) he got locked up. Something else happened and our boss nearly lost his left eye (socket of which is now made of synthetic material). I said fuck this and moved back home. I still talk to those guys, though the crew is long gone.

It's been killing me, keeping it from you guys. I love you fucks. I hold so much of myself back on this board, often writing like a little pussywhipped monkey, because I might give the 'secret' away (like I really give a fuck if I make some boyscout ILX newjack "a tad uncomfy, k thx bye lol" FUCKOFF). When Jess was baiting me when I reappeared under this name, I just took it like a bitch to keep shit level nawmean (and because I do respect you Jess). It's straight fucked posting on the same threads as people like Dastoor, Queen G, mark s; mitch, gygax and JC from the BP days, and other people I loved the shit out of, yknow? You're in my hearts but I can't even talk to you straight. Thats fucked up. But no more. No more BULLSHIT.

Endless thanks to my MAIN INTERNET MANS OF THE WORLD Shipley and Kogan, and whoever else believed in and stuck with me from day one. I'm back in school full time and my writing game is getting solid (though I have to write like regular people most of the time) and I'm feeling good about life. To all my fans, I apologize for leaving you hanging and coming back on such odd, awkward terms, but I hope you understand where I'm cumming from. I don't have another Ramosi left in me - and it'd be sacrilege to try - but I hope you all had fun. To the people who didn't like Ramosi, no hard feelings, though I take absolutely nothing back. To the people who still pray for the downfall for grandwizard LC/Ramosi, just watch: this coming year will be a stupendous one for your own Little Eiffel, bitches.

LC, MBS, Ret.

PS - The barf movie exists, and it's still coming.

PPS - I know the timing is weird and this'll set off a lot of puzzled, maybe angry discussion, but I really felt like I needed to do this, and hopefully it'll make things nicer between me and EVERYONE.

PPPS - Luv yall. Remember that happiness live but right down the way, ya smell me?