Wanna hear a joke I made up?

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Q: What kind of sweets do Rabbis eat?

A: Acidic Chews!

Crap innit?

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 3 September 2004 08:44 (twenty years ago)

Can you tell this joke in Vox Latina, tho?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 3 September 2004 08:47 (twenty years ago)

Hm!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 3 September 2004 08:47 (twenty years ago)

I think I posted a thread once about whether jokes could be copyrighted. The general conclusion was that they couldn't, largely because the same joke may well have occurred to other ppl elsewhere eg someone at my school said they made up the joke "Why is Madonna like toilet paper? They both get Into the Groove" in 1985. They may well have done, but the thought would also have occurred to many other kids too, so the Into the Groove joke may have had a thousand or more separate origins in different parts of the English speaking world.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 3 September 2004 08:48 (twenty years ago)

Comedian Jimmy Carr Sues Jim Davidson Over A Stolen 'fat' Joke

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 September 2004 08:54 (twenty years ago)

"Seriously, what is the deal with toilet paper? 2-ply? WHat does that even mean?"

http://www.wells.edu/images/calien1a.gif

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 3 September 2004 08:57 (twenty years ago)

People laughed at my ridiculous maths jokes yesterday for the first time in years.

"Yeah, I know all about trigonometry. You got your sin, cosin, tangent, cotangent, cocotangent and vanillatangent! Ha ha!"

"Well, the quadratic equation describes the parabola, or the hyperbola, or if you're really lucky and you have a particularly tricky equatinon, then the parabola and the hyperbola get together in the SUPERBOWLA and FITE!!! Ha ha!!!"

"Differential calculus? I see myself as more of an... inter-meeeedjiot!" and then described visions of getting my brain twisted in knots and needing a mental chiropractor to sort it all out... "That's c, h, i..."

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 3 September 2004 09:04 (twenty years ago)

(Please note - I did not actually use any of these jokes yesterday in my evalution. Though the professors did laugh at things I did not intend to be funny, and stuck me in the advanced class.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 3 September 2004 09:05 (twenty years ago)

I feel like threadkiller today. :-(

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 3 September 2004 09:13 (twenty years ago)

doctor doctor, i feel like a threadkiller today!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 September 2004 09:17 (twenty years ago)

I made a joke up once.

Q. What do you call a Glaswegian rock 'n' roll who is a reformed alcoholic?

A. Chuck Bevvy

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 3 September 2004 09:18 (twenty years ago)

http://k12pages.r8esc.k12.in.us/allen/eacs/nhms/Grim%20Reaper.jpg.jpg

― the impossible shortest special path! (the impossible shortest specia), Friday, 3 September 2004 09:18 (twenty years ago)

Kate: Doctor doctor, I feel like threadkiller.
Doctor: . . .

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 3 September 2004 09:26 (twenty years ago)

1: Will Stevem be at the FAP?
2: No, but Markelby

― Gribowitz (Lynskey), Friday, 3 September 2004 10:49 (twenty years ago)

1. What do you have to do to help an Australian ilxor?
2. Give Trayce a hand.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 3 September 2004 10:54 (twenty years ago)

1. Why did the ILXors found America?
2. To marry their Cozens

― Gribowitz (Lynskey), Friday, 3 September 2004 11:00 (twenty years ago)

Kate as you will be studying maths soon, you had better know that there are 10 different types of mathematician, those who know binary and those who don't.

― Davel (Davel), Friday, 3 September 2004 11:21 (twenty years ago)

Thanks, I actually lost my shit laughing at that, and now everyone in my office is looking at me like I'm a lunatic coz I can't explain...

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 3 September 2004 11:22 (twenty years ago)

That's my favourite ever written joke. I have it as a saved message in my phone so I can tell it in pubs.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 3 September 2004 11:24 (twenty years ago)

Thankfully my office is empty and no-one can see how much that joke made me laugh.

― Craig Gilchrist, Friday, 3 September 2004 11:32 (twenty years ago)

That's only 2 types. What are the other 8?

― Boot (GerryNemo), Friday, 3 September 2004 11:37 (twenty years ago)

1. What do you call an ilxor who submits to abuse without complaining?

2. Doormat DC!

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 3 September 2004 11:38 (twenty years ago)

When I was a kid, I came up with:
Q: What is Jaws' favorite movie?
A: Raiders of the Lost Shark
I sent it in to Boy's Life as a submission to their joke page, but it didn't get picked.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:10 (twenty years ago)

I've mentioned this one before I'm sure, it was my mates joke:

What's the difference between a tractor and a giraffe?
A tractor has hydraulics and a giraffe has high bollocks.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:20 (twenty years ago)

I feel like threadkiller today. :-(

get off my patch.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:44 (twenty years ago)

on a simpler note, there are 3 kinds of people in the world, those who can do math and those who can't.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:55 (twenty years ago)

there are two kinds of people in this world, those who finish sentences and those who

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:59 (twenty years ago)

What did the Scot Alcoholic say when I told him about ILX?

Ken C

Shit that's bad.

― Gribowitz (Lynskey), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:00 (twenty years ago)

http://www.geoexplorer.co.uk/sections/diary/diary_images/australia/tumbleweed_parachilna.jpg

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 08:56 (twenty years ago)

What do you do if you find a dead baby in the corner?
Nothing, coz nobody puts dead baby in the corner.

― Nellie (nellskies), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:19 (twenty years ago)

Y'all heard about the moron who thought innuendo was a brand of suppository?

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:51 (twenty years ago)

I'm sure I've posted these before but what the heck...

What's Hansel & Gretel's favourite band?
...And you will know us by the trail of bread

I shagged a teenager on the train to Scotland.
Virgin?
No, GNER.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:52 (twenty years ago)

How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a giraffe?
...an elephant looks nothing like a giraffe.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 10:08 (twenty years ago)

that actually had me on the floor

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago)

did you hear that DJ George Bush is going to be playing at Aphex Twin's new clubnight?

He's a Warp Resident.

---
(c)2004 Dog Latin

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 13 September 2004 23:49 (twenty years ago)

That made me laugh.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 13 September 2004 23:56 (twenty years ago)

knock knock
who's there
post
post who
postmodernism

― rainy (rainy), Monday, 13 September 2004 23:58 (twenty years ago)

A: I talked to your grandma the other day.

B: But she's been dead for twenty years!

A: I didn't say she talked to me.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 00:36 (twenty years ago)

six years pass...

me: jack niklaus and seve ballesteros go to a chinese restaurant
as usual, jack picks up the check, and when he hands over his credit card
the waiter says "oh ho! here's johnny!"
and jack says
"it's niklaus, not nicholson. i'm a famous golfer!"
a week later, they go back for more chinese food, but jack is still miffed and insists on a different restaurant down the road
when he hands over his card
the waiter says "oh ho! you're that grumpy man schimdt!"
jack is incensed
"i am a world famous golfer!"
he asks seve
"what the fuck is going on here!"
and seve shrugs
and says
"that's chinatown jack"

― MAX NOT FOR MOD (Roberto Spiralli), Friday, 15 October 2010 13:57 (fourteen years ago)

get the line right before you retell

― gr80 antebellum (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 15 October 2010 14:09 (fourteen years ago)

if you mean the last line then you are a fucking retard. if not, then i apologize, and request that you kindly be less opaque in your feedback.

― MAX NOT FOR MOD (Roberto Spiralli), Friday, 15 October 2010 14:19 (fourteen years ago)

oh HA. i totally did fuck it up. lols on me. anyway, you are still a fucking retard whiney, just not for this reason.

― MAX NOT FOR MOD (Roberto Spiralli), Friday, 15 October 2010 14:24 (fourteen years ago)

hope you find success

― conrad, Friday, 15 October 2010 14:31 (fourteen years ago)

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