so what's this all about, then?

xpost bah damnit jon's answer is good

Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment: I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Latitude N 42.48018 & Longitude W 071.15503 and the Elevation is 96. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!! I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You

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In the later portion of the message we find more details about the organization and method of the attach. "Corinthian indecomposable Gaulle" is a clear reference to Al Queda sleeper cells along the Mediterranean -- sleeper cells that will "bind" and "Click" in anticipation of the attack. The phrase "mallow manor anyway accurate" indicates that some planning has taken place among cells in London, and the phrase "Balinese noise dearth" clearly means that Indonesian cells have been inactive in the process. (The "bodice" that follows is likely a reference to Indonesian authorities.) "Diethystilbestrol Bialystok" is a common fertilizing agent that can easily be converted into an explosive, and the latter reference to "Oppenheimer" is a clear indicator of the particular technique to be used in the conversation. "Diacritic chigger" refers to a message to follow, in Arabic, which sports many orthographic marks that cling around the associated letters something like the insects known in America as "chiggers." But most chilling of all is the obscure ending of this text -- "sanitarium messenger bottleneck" -- which clearly describes a plan to keep ambulances ("sanitarium messengers") from reaching the maimed and wounded of the attack ("bottleneck").