I've Cut My Finger!

And oh yeah, doctor? IT DID FUCKING SCAR!

i have all sorts of scars on my fingers from waitressing and having to cut crusty bread with a serrated knife while always being in a hurry and also being a klutz. it couldn't have been very hygeinic, serving food while bleeding like a fucking stuck pig, but the managers didn't much care, and i'd just end up hiding whichever hand from the customers somehow.

This happened about five miles from where I lived at the time (20 miles from where I live now). Weekly World News ran the story as "Man Cuts Off Own Head and Lives!" or something similar.

Jeez, I hate bloodshed. Especially my own. So as a young lad on my friend's swing set, the kind where two can swing sitting facing each other, which is anchored to the top bar by a hinge, I decided to test an early physics theory. I would stand on the seat, place my index finger in the hinge and see how quickly that would stop our swinging motion.

I did learn a little that day, but also lost the tip of my right index finger. The nail grows awkwardly to this day and I can still feel Dr. Nyd3gg3r pulling out the only stitches I've ever had.

I'm cringing just thinking about it.

http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/S/htmlS/sawyerdiane/sawyerdianeIMAGE/sawyerdiane.jpg
"I wouldn't count on that, Mister."

By the time my shift ended, I had filled the glove -- like a wetsuit -- with a layer of interjuice. I drove to the hospital one-handed, spilling blood all over my crotch and feet, and in the ER waited for two hours to see the triage nurse. She told me the wound had been open too long to suture, and I'd have to tough out the recovery. I suffered through it opening and reopening every few days for about a month, when it finally closed. After a brief infection it healed, and to this day (like Gear) I alternately can't feel it, and experience bizarre electrical shocks in it, yo.

As my wife drove me to the hospital I had a massive, unbelieveable adrenaline rush and was laughing giddily the whole way. I ended up getting six stitches and it really never bothered me that much, except now my fingerprint lines don't totally match up.

This it it about 24 hours later:

http://www.hu.mtu.edu/~jlkuure/board/stitches_small.jpg

stitches always look so badass.

Update on my injury: it is still bleeding. Slowly but surely. Any tips for getting it to stop? I've tried leaving the plaster off for a bit but I can't get anything done with it like that.

Be careful of breaking glass while washing dishes, especially thin-ish drinking glasses

So right! I cut my knuckle this way once. The nurse in the emergency room took one look at it and said "Washing dishes, eh?"

I still never use a bottle brush, but I've stopped jamming my whole hand into the glasses with such reckless abandon.

Good advice about the glasses. Can I add - never be tempted to lever a tin can open with a knife when the can opener has just missed a tiny bit. Tin can lids have a lot of spring in them. (I still have the scar)

Another caution, eye-injury related: Be careful when releasing bungee-cord secured loads from car roof-racks if someone's on the other side of the car!!! Don't just let go of a stretched cord!
Whenever I'm tired I can see a red mark on the white of one eye. It's my go-to-bed barometer. Thanks a lot, dopey college boyfriend!

i don't even know why people buy thin glasses! not having them eliminates this problem. it's all about thick glass, mugs, plastic, even some decent jars. or dishwashers. fuck washing a thin glass.

starfrit can-opener = safety!

Next day I showed up to work wearing sunglasses, but boss's bitch-ass sister snapped them in half. Joke's on her, though… year later she ditched her family and ran off to New York with her brother.

At the time of my life when I had my dishwashing mishap, I hadn't bought ANY of my glassware. All stolen from bars and restaurants, I think. Certainly should have been tougher, consideriing.

A thin red wine glass is lovely, though. Ephemeral as a spring flower.

Last time I cut my finger, I hacked off the tip of my thumb...that bled through band aids for a day or two, it was so gross. So then I managed to do it again, exact same spot, like a week later. Tom comes to take over and he does similar. I'd banish that knife from my kitchen if it wasn't so expensive.

:( <<<typed this w/ left hand