What would you imagine it would be like to be the opposite sex?

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Men: What do you think it would be like to be a woman? How would it feel? Would you like it?
Women: What do you think it would be like to be a man? How would it feel? Would you like it?

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

God, I think I'd hate it.

― Nowell (Nowell), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:38 (twenty years ago)

I think once the novelty of putting things in my vagina began to pall I would realize several years had passed and I was homeless and alone. So, no thank you.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

I like being a girl. I imagine that it would be hard to be a man...

― Nowell (Nowell), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

Yes, it often is.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

I can't even imagine it.

― .adam (nordicskilla), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

But men have many advantages. And my mind is going fucking blank and I wish I could articulate myself better on why men have advantages but...I'm just spacing out...

― Nowell (Nowell), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

I think there is potential for a lot of life lessons to be learned in this thread.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

Right on, man.

― Nowell (Nowell), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

But men have many advantages. And my mind is going fucking blank and I wish I could articulate myself better on why men have advantages but...I'm just spacing out...

Well for one, men are able to piss full blast at the back of the toilet bowl to remove shit that has stuck fast to the porcelain and won't be moved by multiple flushes.

I mean you still have to use some kind of cleaner on the fucker, but it's a total advantage when you need the bathroom to look clean ASAP for guests or whatever.

― martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

And the really sad thing is, I'm not exactly joking about that advantage.

― martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

"Excuse me while I go piss the skidmark off the bottom of the bowl. I'll be right back. Anyone want a drink or anything?"

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:53 (twenty years ago)

And men get to work hard and "bring home the bacon"!

― Nowell (Nowell), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

Dan Perry OTM.

i am impressed by martin m's ability to piss on demand whenever guests arrive his home.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:56 (twenty years ago)

it'd be nice to not have period pain anymore but thats not all there is to it. what kind of man am i supposed to imagine myself being?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

Burt Reynolds. Or Tom Selleck. I get them confused.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

The Ultimate Warrior

I am imagining myself to be famous film critic Jan Wahl.

― .adam (nordicskilla), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

I don't get period pain, oddly.
If I had to be a man, I would be...

― Nowell (Nowell), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

I think once the novelty of putting things in my vagina began to pall I would realize several years had passed and I was homeless and alone. So, no thank you.

You don't have to wait! You can start inserting things inside yourself TODAY! ASS SEEN ON TV!

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

maybe i should imagine being timmy cappello in which case it'd be awesome. I STILL BELIEVE!!!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:02 (twenty years ago)

then i'd get to take my top off, oil myself up, wear chains around my neck and blow a saxophone in the lost boys movie. what could be better than that?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:03 (twenty years ago)

I have the sneaking suspicion I would be a total bitch.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

I have the sneaking suspicion that Kenan would stuff tampons up his ass, seeing as he's not making a distinction between the vagina and the rectum.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:05 (twenty years ago)

As if he's not doing that right now.

― .adam (nordicskilla), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

I think I'd be thought of as a pussy. Thankfully I'm a girl.

― Nowell (Nowell), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

Kenanette: "I feel all bloated!"

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

I have the sneaking suspicion that Kenan would stuff tampons up his ass

What, you're knocking my hobbies now?

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

On the upside, I could ride a horse. On the downside, I'd have to install a towel hook.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

I thought perhaps I'd save money on cucumbers, but upon contemplation I think I'd spend a whole lot more.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

I think once the novelty of putting things in my vagina began to pall I would realize several years had passed and I was homeless and alone. So, no thank you.

So being a woman is a lot like being a heroin addict!

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:28 (twenty years ago)

I mean, if you substitute "vein" for "vagina"

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

Yeah. You know that vision you get where this creature bursts out of you? Women get that too.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:30 (twenty years ago)

the multiple orgasm thing sounds fun

― Steely Zan (AaronHz), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:32 (twenty years ago)

I would definitely be lesbian. There, I've said it, there's no need for anyone else to say it now.

― mr mole, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

i often think i'd like to have a dick for a day. but not much longer than that.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

But, caitlin, if you had a dick it would take over your mind and not let you go back.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

dick has already taken over my mind.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:57 (twenty years ago)

http://images.ibsys.com/sh/images/Screengrabs/dickvandykeshow3.jpg

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 01:29 (twenty years ago)

i think I'd like to shoot off on someone's tits a few times but after that I think I'd get bored.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 01:32 (twenty years ago)

i think I'd like to shoot off on someone's tits a few times but after that I think I'd get bored.

.... and go look for someone else's tits, right?

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 01:35 (twenty years ago)

i've always wanted to be a girl. even as a kid.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 01:37 (twenty years ago)

yeah, if there's one thing i'd really like to do it's a big ol' C on Ts

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 01:39 (twenty years ago)

the multiple orgasm thing sounds fun

don't imagine being me then, i come once.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

though not all men are stronger than all women, obv, it would have been nice to live life with a bit more upper body strength.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

TS: frequent face shaving vs. frequent crotch shaving

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:02 (twenty years ago)

TS: frequent face shaving vs. frequent crotch shaving

Ha ha ha. Be thankful you don't live in Miami.

i.e. TS: Both.

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:04 (twenty years ago)

fuck shaving. i bet if i were a guy i'd have a big old beard.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:05 (twenty years ago)

my guy with a big ol' beard told me i didn't have to shave my crotch anymore just for me. don't know how I feel about that.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

fuck shaving. i bet if i were a guy i'd have a big old beard.

Then you can imagine being me.

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

It'd be nice to actually HAVE a sec drive. And no periods. But I like being a girlything.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

Erm... SEX drive. Sec drive wtf?

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha ha. Be thankful you don't live in Miami.

i.e. TS: Both.

What, grannies shave their pubes now?

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:16 (twenty years ago)

Trayce: Your sec drive should peak at 38. Feel free to read a magazine while you're waiting.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:16 (twenty years ago)

I'd laugh if I had any idea what the hell that meant.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:18 (twenty years ago)

what if you had a triple sec drive?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:19 (twenty years ago)

Now THAT sounds interesting =)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:19 (twenty years ago)

Women's sex drive is supposed to peak at 38 years of age innit. Men's at 18.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 02:20 (twenty years ago)

I've heard that's a myth, but now I forget where I heard it

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 03:29 (twenty years ago)

Please god no. I only married an old chick for early thrills.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 03:38 (twenty years ago)

Free from the bounds of masculinity, I'd indulge fully in my tweeness. I'd have my room decorated in a Strawberry Shortcake motif. I'd cry at the drop of a hat, so long as the hat was dropped in a morose manner and the dropper appeared consumed with existential fear. I'd buy National Enquirer regularly. I'd tell all my friends how big my boyfriend's penis is. I'd read trashy romance novels. I'd get my nails done and my hair didded. I'd drive around with my best girlfriend in a convertible blasting Van Morrison. I'd watch soap operas while eating bon bons. I'd fuck a sailor. I'd flirt with everyone, everywhere. I'd *have* to get those shoes, since they match the top I just bought. I'd let the airshaft blow my dress open. I'd peel a banana in a seductive way. I'd do the splits. I'd let a boy think he was gonna get some, but say 'i just can't do this' when it came time. I'd tell my kid to make his own goddamn meal, Mommma's too drunk. I'd have penis envy.

-- oops (don'temailmebitc...), July 23rd, 2003.

― asdfajlkjasd, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 06:49 (twenty years ago)

if i were a dude i'd probably get beat up a lot.

otoh, i have pretty good upper body strength for a girl...

― Turkey versus Eagle, McCauley is my Beagle (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 07:06 (twenty years ago)

i want to be a man
Question for females of whatever species

And I once again bring up Chrix Knox's "The Woman Inside Of Me" and will now post the lyrics. (Great choon too!)

i wish that i could be
all the woman inside of me
and i wish that i could be
all the things that woman could do

and i don't feel i'd be
any different from me
and i do not think i'd feel i was inferior
in fact, i think i'd like it
to see my sex as woman see us
what a thing to feel and to experience

but what if i should stay
... that female way
for the rest of all my years
would my joy turn into fear

... maybe i would find
it's not just a state of mind
but womankind in fact is held inferior

could i handle all the pressure
or pine for the oppressor role
that keeps me where i am, which is superior

but i still wish i could be
all the woman inside of me
just to feel and just to see
all the things that woman mean
just to set that female free
i am her and she is me

-- and some scribbles of the chords in the liner notes to Seizure, the album that contains this song:

1-1 (w/ level boost)

Top E - C# - B -- (end + intro A - G - F# - E)
A - A (bass off) . B LOOP

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 07:08 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't have the constant need to prove how much I love music to people I don't even care about, just because I'm a girl and therefore can't know as much, or care as much. I wouldn't have a hang-up about the fact that once I pass a certain age, nobody will give a shit about what I'm like because I have become a raddled old hag. It wouldn't matter that I hate both children and doctors, because I could never become pregnant. I would be able to be in bands without being a cliche (oh, so you're a female keyboard player in a fucking indie band, right?).

I also probably wouldn't be completely drunk on my computer right now.

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:30 (twenty years ago)

honestly, i wonder what it would be like to have a vagina.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

it's so boring.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

I also probably wouldn't be completely drunk on my computer right now. Uhhh, yeah, OK.

I'm glad I don't get menstrual cramps, from the look of things.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:35 (twenty years ago)

Chris Knox got nothing on Robyn Hitchcock. Cause really, if you woke up and were a pretty girl, what else would you want to do besides UH yourself in the shower?

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

emil.y OTM (if a little melodramatic)

― Turkey versus Eagle, McCauley is my Beagle (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

id love to have a vagina just for a little bit to feel it and experiment with it. the novelty would probably wear off but i bet it couldbe fun. i also cant help wondering what it'd be like having sex but from the women's POV.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

TS: Testicles vs. Ovaries

― contribute, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

it does suck quite a bit that women get so ugly and saggy when they're old.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:45 (twenty years ago)

men get saggy and ugly too, its just regarded as being a positive thing.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:47 (twenty years ago)

Melodramatic = drunk, drunk, drunk.

Was going to mention the menstrual cramp thing but thought someone else already had. Was also going to say that probably being the opposite sex would not be quite so much better as I made out, but basically when you live your life full of monthly PANE and having to PROOF yourself to fucking hipsters anything is better. Having to regularly adjust your crotchal area is not the same.

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:48 (twenty years ago)

having to PROOF yourself to fucking hipsters anything is better.

Why bother? What's the old saying? "Never argue with a fool. People might not be able to tell the difference."

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:50 (twenty years ago)

Sadly, in day to day life, I find my neuroses force me into the position where I feel I must defend my position as a music fan, purely because of the sex that I am now. Thus, I believe that if I were of the opposite sex, I would not have (so many of) these problems.

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

have you heard of one jonathan williams?

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:07 (twenty years ago)

I R W1ll1Ams.

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:21 (twenty years ago)

um.

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:21 (twenty years ago)

(I like Merzbow, you know)

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:21 (twenty years ago)

HAH

― Steely Zan (AaronHz), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

OH MY GOD

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

If I were a guy, I'd like to be gentlemanly and ask Anne Briggs out. I just got her cd today, haven't listened to it yet. She would be my type.

― youn, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:40 (twenty years ago)

I imagine I wouldn't be able to drive a car nearly as well...

― Sasha (sgh), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:24 (twenty years ago)

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