The infamous World Cup bust-up between Roy Keane and Mick McCarthy has been made into a musical. I, Keano is the story of a warrior sent to war on an island by an ancient federation (the Football Association of Ireland).
Unfortunately when he gets there, Keano discovers "the ground is too hard, the troops are partying, and the federation, led by the inebriated junketeer Ridiculus, has forgotten to bring daggers and tunics".
The musical, penned by Father Ted co-writer Arthur Mathews and Michael Nugent, bears more than a passing resemblance to events in Saipan in 2002, where the Republic had their World Cup training camp.
Then, Roy Keane had an almighty bust-up with Ireland manager Mick McCarthy about training facilities and flew home without kicking a ball in anger.
In I, Keano, the lead character and his fellow-warriors are led by General Macartacus (an earnest, stubborn character) and Packie Bonnerus, described as an "expert in using the net things that gladiators fight with".
Keano apparently finds himself "torn between the conflicting advice of the Scottish dolphin god Fergie and the tap-dancing wood nymph Dunphia".
Sounds like a winner.
I, Keano opens in Dublin's Olympia Theatre on Tuesday, February 8.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)
I can't see how this would be anything other than the pinnacle of the genre.
― .adam (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)
Featuring such rousing crowd-pleasers as 'Shit Centurion', 'Stick It Up Yer Bollocks You Phoenician Cunt' and 'I Phoned Brutus And He Agreed It Was Ridiculous'.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)
(i can't find the proper keane-pisstake thread and it is hurting me in my heart)
― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)
Ronan909: set roy up for the big fall
Ronan909: the crucifixion
thegardencentre: making roy get usecd to the millions
Ronan909: i could see pontius pilate
Ronan909: goading me
thegardencentre: buit roy knows
Ronan909: humiliating me in front of everyone
boyofbadgers: washing his hands at me
Ronan909: you can stick your pardon up your bollox
Ronan909: i phoned barrabas and he agreed
Ronan909: that bastard peter schmeicel denied knowing me
Ronan909: 3 times
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)
DO YOU THINK JIMMY FLOYD HASSELBAINK'S SITTING THERE WITH A FLAGON OF MEAD AND A FUCKING ROASTED PIGS HEAD THE NIGHT BEFORE A BATTLE?!
― Keano (Matt DC), Thursday, 6 January 2005 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)
Dormice in honey or stuffed figs, surely. Romans not drinky mead.
― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 6 January 2005 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)
ronan, you MUST go and see this and Report Back (in the appropriate style, obv.)
― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Thursday, 6 January 2005 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)