Favourite comments you've received while DJ:ing.

I can't even play requests because my CD player is broken so I'm DJing from my laptop, and I can only play what's on my hard drive. Ha ha ha. So that's a good excuse if anyone asks me for anything silly.

(Though I made a point of making sure I had Duran Duran and Libertines MP3s because I know those are the types of "comedy requests" my friends are likely to make.)

Last night, this was alternately shouted in my ear by an excitable Spanish bloke, waved in front of my face on a mobile phone and later on a sign in red marker that he had made at some point of the night.

Also "if you play Groove Is In The Heart, I'll have sex with you". From a man.

"why aren't you playing any (insert genre of choice)?

whilst playing a song of the aforementioned genre

smashed guy ten minutes later: "man... my girl had to take off early, could you play some downtempo shit?"

me: "i think wednesdays are open here if you feel like this is something you'd want to do."

----

girl: do you have the faint?
me: nope
girl: do you have bright eyes?
me: nope
girl: do you have anyone from nebraska?
me: i don't know... but i don't have anything on saddle creek.
girl: what's that?
me: the bright eyes label.
girl: do you have any gwen stefani?
me: nope.
girl: do you have any no doubt?
me: nope.
girl: what do you have?
me: a lot of techno stuff and some weird disco and some hip hop and some funny stuff from baltimore.
girl: do you have any bloc party?
me: actually, i do.

then i played what was a 33 rpm record at 45... and she didn't notice and gave me a hug afterward.

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girl: why are you playing hip hop on a tuesday?
me: because i like to play hip hop.
girl: they never play hip hop on tuesdays.
me: i think it's ok.
girl: i hate hip hop.
me: sorry.

"Pohjat" and "Periaatteen mies" by Memmy Posse
"Pesäst Pesään" by Skandaali
"Mutsin luona" by Flegmaatikot
"Takas" by Spesialisti
"Aina ei natsaa" by Tunkio & Veejay

A lot of these songs are actually about the protagonist's inability of getting pussy, since Finnish rap has always had a bit of a self-deprecatory flavour to it.

i've had some hateful experiences at various loose lips/careless talk nights. though the night my girlfriend played Extreme Noise Terror and our friend went batshit bezerk on the dancefloor was a classic.

me: [playing 'coney island cyclone by mercury rev]
grasshopper from mercury rev: [plays air-guitar to own song, at which point i notice for the first time tonight that grasshopper from mercury rev has swung by and is standing beside me]

Girl: "what's your name?"
Me: "Ronan"
Girl: "I really like your music"
Me: "Thank you"
Girl "And I think you're very sexy"
Me: "Thank you."

I was going to think of others but that one is kind of better than some drunk dude telling me he loves electro. Not that I don't appreciate that.

if i had a recording of this i would stick it over the top of Lisa Left Eye's 'Block Party'

"Can you play that song......um.....'Hang The DJ'?" (I think everyone has had this one).

Girl: You're my favourite DJ in the whole city because you play The Lemonheads and no one else does!
Me: I don't remember ever having played The Lemonheads.
Girl: I was sure you had!

I played the Lemonheads, next time.

Oh, yeah, and my extremely drugged up novelist friend dancing over vaguely and asking "what was that mental psychedelic song you just played? Play that one over again" when honestly, in his state, I bet *all* the songs sounded mental and psychedelic.

Conflicting requests are the worst.
"Can you play some cheese, but good cheese?"
"Can you rock it up a bit?"
"Play something funky."

Not all at once.

play Roachford's 'Cuddly Toy' - not only is it fantastic 80s pop-rock but you can smugly make wholly appropriate Roachford/Roquefort good cheese puns if your name is SteveM/PeteBaran/KenC/alternate as applicable

At a party for a bunch of firemen on Staten Island I was playing the Beach Boys' disco epic "Here Comes the Night" and somebody comes over and is like "um, everyone here is in their thirties... kind of OLDER..." and gave me this condescending smile like I was supposed to translate this observation into a request. I couldn't resist blurting out "older than DISCO??" It stumped me! She left and didn't come back.

"why don't you play something we can dance to?!?"

while djing a party where i was asked to only play dance music, no rock:

"do you have any stooges?"

while djing the best goddamn bar in greenpoint, brooklyn:

"planet rock! this takes me back! fuck yeah! don't stop! rock rock planet rock! i am fifty years old" - drunk polish dude.