Mike Hayley: casualty

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You might remember his face. For me, Mike Hayley was undoubtedly the best UK stand-up on the London circuit in the early 1980's. He used to share a flat in Stepney with Patrick Marber, who, at the time, was regarded by the press as the comic "to watch". After appearing with Mike Hayley on the bill of the 1983 "Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy Festival", Steven Wright called him "the funniest man alive". An uncharacteristically trite line from Mr. Wright, perhaps, but its influence was considerable, prompting an offer from Jasper Carrott ('s people) to work on his prime time BBC TV series. Hayley accepted, working for a single series before leaving, to be replaced by Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis. Mid-way through the Carrott series, Hayley had entered into negotations with the BBC for his own series, but for some reason, it never materialised in the schedules (although a pilot was shot, I believe). It must have been a blow. Carrott had moved on, and Hayley reurned to playing the circuit, alongside his old friend, Patrick Marber. In 1985, after two years of appearing on stage at Malcolm Hardee's notoriously hostile Tunnel Club, a beleagured Hayley got a call from his agent, and so got a taxi to Teddington studios to star in a "Le Piat D'Or" advert (financed by Steven Wright's production company). It allowed him once again to pursue TV projects. However, the subsequent late eighties' sketch shows ("Something For The Weekend" and "Up To Something") were not ideal vehicles for Hayley's elegant, sometimes preposterously verbose, comedy, which is closer to Kenneth Williams in style than it is to Shane Ritchie (who was another member of the "Up to Something" team). The last high profile thing Hayley did, as far as I'm aware, was the "On the Hour" show in the early nineties - co-writng a few bits with Marber and Morris - although I did spot him in an epsidode of the BBC's "Casualty" at the end of last year. I heard over Christmas, from an old friend who still lives in London, that Hayley is now a regular at Jongleurs, and he's as brilliant live as ever. Am I the only one who remembers Mike Hayley?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/talent/h/hayley_mike.shtml

http://www.intart.co.uk/data/artistpix/hayley_mike.jpg

― jim eyre, Monday, 14 February 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

i thought this was a hanle y thread...

― queen Givin up reading, Monday, 14 February 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

Will wonders never cease! Apparently nobody here, other than dear old jim, remembers me.. which is not really surprising at all. Why should you??

Now, hit submit, and..

― Mike Hayley, Thursday, 2 June 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

How do. I will say I loved "On the Hour" but that's the only thing I know of your work directly (I'm in America and backtracked to that from The Day Today).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

I did write one or two things with Patrick (the O'Hanrahanrahan character was originally going to be mine), but I never even got a chance to meet Chris Morris before a support slot with Eddie Izzard came up, and that's another story for another day. I have since met Chris, at Rowan Atkinson's Millennium party, (ahem, again, another strory).

― Mike Hayley, Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, I don't consider myself a casualty. As much as I enjoyed OTH and the later TDT, the only regret I have is that I didn't accept the part of Alfie Moon when it was offered to me (subsequently taken by Shane).

― Mike Hayley, Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...

But that's all behind me now.

― Mike Hayley, Friday, 24 June 2005 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

You are wasting your time.

― Plunging Hen, Friday, 24 June 2005 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

It was all a long time ago, and I'd prefer not to talk about it.

― Mike Hayley, Saturday, 23 July 2005 07:46 (nineteen years ago)

Mike, I have never seen you perform, but now I want to.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 23 July 2005 07:56 (nineteen years ago)

(I live in the Benighted States, by the way, so Kenneth Williams is about as far as I get into the references above)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 23 July 2005 07:57 (nineteen years ago)

V. flattered by the Kenneth Williams comparison, although I suspect jim said this mainly because I used to do a (so-so) impression of the man in my early act. I've never performed outside of the UK, in fact. When I was shooting 102 Dlamations, Tim Allen invited me to do a spot at his club in LA, but I chickened out. I do regret that now. Whereabouts in the States are you, Tracer Hand? Any good comedy clubs near you, and how do you think a stiff Brit would go down.

― Mike Hayley, Saturday, 23 July 2005 08:14 (nineteen years ago)

You seem to be quite a sentimental chap, Mike.

― Fredient, Saturday, 23 July 2005 10:07 (nineteen years ago)

Devastatingly self-depracating with an over-trusting theory-of-mind, much like a five-year-old's.

― Fredient, Saturday, 23 July 2005 10:17 (nineteen years ago)

"a stiff Brit would go down."

eeeeew! ;-)

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Saturday, 23 July 2005 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

It's late in the UK. Just got back from a corporate event. They orginally booked Dom Holland, but our agent sent me at the last minute (Dom's landed a TV gig). Settling down now with a bowl of hot corn flakes, listening to Stravinsky. Wonder what everyone else is up to - Ned Tracer Hand?

― Mike Hayley, Sunday, 24 July 2005 22:51 (nineteen years ago)

JUST SPREADIN ME LAST BUT OF POOS ON ME GRANS FLANGE GETTING IT RIGHT INTO HER GREY FLAPS THEN PROBERLY GONNA LET IT DRIP THER FOR A WIHLE WITH HER NATURLA HEAT THEN DIP A FEW RIVITIAS IN IT FOR A BEDTIME SNACK

― GARU G, Sunday, 24 July 2005 22:56 (nineteen years ago)

It's the Rite of Spring, completed in 1912 for Diaghiler's Ballets. Mono-no-aware.

― Mike Hayley, Sunday, 24 July 2005 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

AYE COCK,AYE

― GARU G, Sunday, 24 July 2005 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

Locking caps is bad for your heart.

― Mike Hayley, Sunday, 24 July 2005 23:05 (nineteen years ago)

AYE THEY DONT KNOW THEYR FOOKIN BORN SOME OF EM

― GARU G, Sunday, 24 July 2005 23:05 (nineteen years ago)

Hey Mike. What's your version of this?

The Aristocrats

― Masked Gazza, Sunday, 24 July 2005 23:18 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Who's around today?

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

Hey Mike, have you tried some of the other threads. They get lots of action.

But on a more serious note, where are you gigging at the moment?

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

Glad you asked about the gigs! I'm in Edinburgh next week starring in my play, "Jeffrey Dahmer Is Unwell", which I co-wrote with Alan Francis; doing a tour with Lemn Sissay and Henry Normal throughout November and December, starting at Camberley theatre on Nov 13th and ending up, I think, at the Winding Wheel in Henry's home town of Chesterfield on Dec 21st. In between, I suppose I'll continue to the the odd slot at Jongleurs. Where are you based, Pete?

I have read some of the other threads, but they're not about me, are they?

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

boy, that Garu G really brought his A game to this thread

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

I've had worse heckles.

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

(Mike, for your information, Garu G isn't exactly heckling. He just does this on random threads from time to time. It's almost always something to do with his Gran's flange. Sometimes it gets me, sometimes no; the one above is so random & horrifying that it makes me giggle. So, that's what I meant.)

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

Long before Bo Selecta, Leigh Francis used to do an act on the London circuit in which he played a florist interrupting himself, Tourette's-style, with scurrilities realting to his Grandmother. It could of course be a coincidence, but I strongly suspect GURU G has ripped this act off, and it wasn't very funny when Leigh did it (I'm sure Leigh'd say the same thing if pressed).

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

I've seen whay happens when you press Leigh Francis and it isn't very nice.

London is the short answer.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 15:22 (nineteen years ago)

I think Garu's post stands flange and shoulders above anything Leigh Francis has done.

Mike, where is your play on? If you're going to plug it, you might as well do it properly.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

We're upstairs at the Witchery (near the Castle) for seven days from the 18th, and it's free, no need to book.

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

free? I may come along

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

FLANGE AND SHOULDERS OMG

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 01:28 (nineteen years ago)

Knees and toes, knees and toes.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 08:55 (nineteen years ago)

I can't go to Edinburgh this year. It makes me sad. I hate to miss the festival. Okay, I hate to miss the fringe. The festival itself, well really...

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

FLANGE AND SHOULDERS OMG

-- Banana Nutrament (straightu...), August 10th, 2005 3:28 AM. (ghostface) (later)

Knees and toes, knees and toes.

-- aldo_cowpat (aldo.cowpa...), August 10th, 2005 10:55 AM. (aldo_cowpat) (later)

I'm not EXCELSIORING you twice in one day but that one had me in stitches.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

YOU STILL THERE COCK GOT SUMMAT TO TELL YA

― GARU G, Friday, 12 August 2005 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

Went fantastically well tonight. Lovely to meet you Richard J. G., thanks for your support (and the chocolate for my hypo attack!).

New series of The Strangerers has been commissioned on Sky, with pretty much the compleat cast from series 1 on board, which is nice.

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder how and if this could be explained

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 10:41 (nineteen years ago)

For the benefit of everyone else: I was explaining to RJG only last night, when he came to see me and Richard Hope in my Edinburgh play, that The Strangerers would never get a recommission, largely because Rob Grant, its creator, is not interested in writing a second series. However, this very morning, my agent tells me it is going ahead, after all - we'll be shooting in January.

― Mike Hayley, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

you are a liar

: (

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't been to edinburgh in the past two weeks

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

Are you joking?

― Mike Hayley, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

I am not, are you?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:05 (nineteen years ago)

Someone came to the show last night, introdced himself as Richard [last name withheld], saying he was a registered ilx user and had seen my thread. I had hypoglacimic episode in the bar after the performance, and "Richard" came to my aid, very kindly giving me a handful of Maltesers. So, this was not you, then?

― Mike Hayley, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:10 (nineteen years ago)

I see.

no, it was not me.

good thing he was there, it seems.

wait, are you withholding the last name or was he?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

IT WERE ME GRANDSON GARU YA TWERP

― MERYL G, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

mike hayley, would you e-mail me, please?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

Best thread ever.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 12:07 (nineteen years ago)

: (

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

ARE YA MATES WITH OUR GARU THEN LAD HE SEZ YER REET BUT RECONS YER NOT UP FOR POOIN IN ME GREY SANDWICH WHY NOT

― MERYL G, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

You have mail, RJG.

― Mike Hayley, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

thanks, for that.

please, show yourself, the other R_G, whoever you are.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

Hi, I'm currently performing my old play at the King's Head:

http://www.whatsonstage.com/dl/page.php?page=details&id=L132356246

Got to rush off now, just thought I'd let you know. Come along, do!

― Mike Hayley, Sunday, 8 January 2006 13:38 (nineteen years ago)

DOnt call me a casualty! I dont BELIEVE in causality!

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Monday, 9 January 2006 05:31 (nineteen years ago)

I am glad that we give Mr. Hayley such hope.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 9 January 2006 06:38 (nineteen years ago)

I saw him on TV around xmas

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 9 January 2006 07:59 (nineteen years ago)

I was in Frankfurt over Christmas, and consequently missed all telly.
What was I in, Richard? "102" I shouldn't wonder, as the not-so-surefooted constable? People always think actors are notified in advance whenever a film they've been in is scheduled for transmission, but that just ain't the case. Of course, with the major channels, slithers of notification can end up in the bank accounts of actors with minor roles, but this isn't even guaranteed, unfortunately.
Channel 4 showed a short clip of "Up to Something" I think last year - a sketch involving me and Shane. Perhaps it was a repeat of that?

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 10 January 2006 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

you were a driver? I only saw the last wee bit. bill nighy trying to direct something w/ tom courtnay as an extra having his one line cut

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

Did you guys get the Edinburgh weirdness sorted out from last year?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

not exactly

seems like mike met a richard G who said he posted here

pretty strange

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

I've had the pleasure of working with Bill Nighy quite a few times, in rep and on telly. You saw "Ready When You Are Mr. McGill". Got that gig not through Bill, rather through Nina Conti, daughter of Tom Courtenay, who was married to my brother at the time. No more, sadly.

I was generally a bit muddled, if you know what I mean, when I met that imposter Richard G. Whoever he was, however, blooming good job he had some Maltesers on him.. Robbie Williams gets a gang bang after his show, I get a bag of maltesers.

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 10 January 2006 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

Laters.

― Mike Hayley, Tuesday, 10 January 2006 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

Who is Mike Hayley??

― Rib Dinner, Friday, 28 December 2007 22:28 (seventeen years ago)

two years pass...

AYE COCK,AYE

― GARU G, Sunday, July 24, 2005 7:04 PM

― am0n, Friday, 8 October 2010 16:18 (fourteen years ago)

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