Is the statscock no more?

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when I click on Users I get an error message.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

Not Found
The requested URL /users.php was not found on this server.

Apache/1.3.33 Server at ilx.wh3rd.net Port 80

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

The statscock never was.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

We've always been at war with Eurasia.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

Myasia?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

*beats Michael down*

HISTORY WILL BE THE AMAZING RANDY STOMPING ON YOUR FACE GOING 'HI DERE WHAT IS IT MADE' FOREVER.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

Oh no, the statscock is gone! We've gone statstransgender!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

Can't someone perform an addadictomy on ILX?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 17 February 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

the statscock just needs some activated statstesticular bravery.

― donut debonair (donut), Friday, 18 February 2005 01:01 (twenty years ago)

addadicktomy

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

That was the joke, Ken.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

well duh, mark!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

I bet this gets fixed pronto

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

Tracer, you are a card.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

I vote against fixing it.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

a "tracer card"!!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

The most elusive of the pokemon cards.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

Currently lurking somewhere in the Lower East Side.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

Haha Andrew is going to "make my card" when he reads this.

xpost Hell's Kitchen

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

Less stats, more cock.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 18 February 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

the statscock just needs some activated statstesticular bravery.

Yes, that's about it. It should be about ready but I'm still not confident it's gonna work.
Here's my problem. We have a username which must either be null or unique. We have a name which must not be null and must be unique from any registered users' name. And we have an email which must be unique from any registered users' email. BUT, the name doesn't have to be different from a registered user username.

So we want to sort by username where it exists but the question was what else do we want when the username is null?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 18 February 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

are you basically saying that you are writing something to enable only registered users to see the list of users but you are having difficulty writing it?

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 19 February 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

I suggest at this point we only track registered users?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 19 February 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

Is this a SQL problem? Can you create a function which behaves like the conditional operator in C or Perl, then create a view which has a column generated using that function on the username and name fields?

(My SQL isn't up to it, personally, but as I've been working as a mostly-Perl programmer for the past few years that's the angle I'd try to approach it from)

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

sort by something like (username + name) maybe, but replace null usernames with a space or some symbol or something? so all username are sorted, and unregistered user will have just have name as a key and they'll all be unique for grouping/sorting purposes?

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 19 February 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

should have read will just have [symbol]name as a key

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 19 February 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

Sterling is right, only track registered users.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 19 February 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

It's not hard. Work out totals for each email address, and in the process work out the most popular username for each one. Group by username or by email for unlclaimed addresses. That way you don't disadvantage people who made a lot of their posts on Greenspun.

― Graham , Saturday, 19 February 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

e-mail addresses changed with greater frequency in the beginning which is why I decided to try using nvl(username,name) BUT, little did I know mysql doesn't have nvl, but something simillar. Usernames are a good foundation, it's what to do with users who don't have a username. I thought to just say screw it and let them suffer but even in the list of registered usersm there are 96 people whose name matches a seperate users username. Never mind the number in the messages table.

Sterling is right, only track registered users.

It's a cough out, no other reason.

And the delete msg/thread button made the stats go off over time, which I never have gotten around to fixing.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Sunday, 20 February 2005 01:43 (twenty years ago)

That last bit doesn't seem like a problem. Posts made versus posts extant.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 20 February 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

And how will we know when to remove it from the last 30 days total if it's not a problem?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Sunday, 20 February 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

Listen I don't care how you do it. CTU. Get it done. Chapelle's been on my ass about this all day.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 February 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Umm, I'm joining a union. You'll have to register a complaint in writing and a union rep will get back to you in 4 to 6 weeks with a hearing date.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 21 February 2005 01:51 (twenty years ago)

It's not a complaint. We have no choice. If we don't get the statscock up, the virus will detonate in 31 cities. We have to move now. Assemble the protocols. Then pull everyone off their protocols and start patching in overlays, crosschecking what we've got. Can you run tactical? I've got three Delta units on standby. First they set up a soft perimeter around the target, just to fuck with him. Then they made it hard. Hard enough for an insertion team to shoot its way through and seize the statscock. Are you with me? Listen Mr. Noodles. I know it's been hard since that tragic and personal event that happened twenty minutes ago. But millions of lives are at stake and we're depending on you. Your stitches look fine. What a minute what's your mobile number again, sorry, "two way" hahaha, I keep writing it down on little pieces of paper which I lose before I can save it into the damn thing. Oh, and I'm your union rep. (*scary music, camera wheels around the room*)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 06:19 (twenty years ago)

WARNING: If there's no more statscock, then there's no more reason for me to not start threads anymore - and I have a 3 year backlog.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 06:22 (twenty years ago)

I do this job for the fame and the fortune. And right now I'm only getting mad cash from all the phone numbers I be selling to telemarketers. So until my fame goes up you, just S O L.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

Spencer, have you stayed strong on the not-starting-threads thing?

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

tim - you should start a thread on that scritti politti comp!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

Because it's great!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

Jules, you're a nutcase.

If you ever fancy coming to that mentalist club near my house, give me a call and I'll accompany you, I'll even invtie you round first if you want.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

When I say call I mean e-mail, I suppose.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

I was there last week it was so awesome - it was my first time round there and did a bit of walking. I looked out for you.

here's the thread: - feb '05 gigs

(missed dada's post)

when they put something improv with a punky-songy edge to it I'll let you know.

x-post: yeah cool

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

Good! Obviously not this Thursday though, it's Club FT and anyway what they've got on looks like a load of old skronk from where I'm sitting. But yes. I live over the other side of the Rye from there.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...

STATSCOCK IS BACK.

Am I the only one who's noticed this?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

Who's "Silky Sensor"?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

I noticed this a couple of days ago. The stats are configured differently, as it seems that posts acculumated under many email addy's from one user have now been amalgamated under that user's name?

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Silky Sensor = sexyDancer?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

It still needs a poke here and there (tertiary logic can be a bit annoying) but it's more or less done, I hope.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

Oh, shit. I'm beating Ned Raggett by some margin. Time to get one life.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Monday, 21 March 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

do you mean ternary, noodles?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

anyway, thanx!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

wow, i'm not in either top 50 anymore

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 03:31 (twenty years ago)

Bloody hell, I'm in the top 5!

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 03:35 (twenty years ago)

I realize that I actually like most of the regulars!

― Dr. Eldon Tyrell (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 06:20 (twenty years ago)

Yeah me too! It's weird to be so high though, I don't feel like I'm actually posting all that much!! Guess I'm workin though huh. Fadaddle.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 06:26 (twenty years ago)

There's actually nobody in the top 30 I really dislike. And I've exchanged email w. almost all of the top 25 posters. Excepting, funnily, enough, Tracer. Which I'll remedy immediately.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 06:37 (twenty years ago)

and me.

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 06:53 (twenty years ago)

kate, how long have you been posting? suddenly I see you popping up all over the place?

― Dr. Eldon Tyrell (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 06:59 (twenty years ago)

1 year.

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 07:06 (twenty years ago)

I think I have been posting since 2002.... or 3?

― Dr. Eldon Tyrell (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 07:33 (twenty years ago)

Yes, much longer than me.

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 07:35 (twenty years ago)

I think that in order to hide my huge number of posts, I should spread it around to other boards more. But then I have to ask myself... AM I NOIZE ENOUGH?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 07:52 (twenty years ago)

Oh, shit. I'm beating Ned Raggett by some margin. Time to get one life.

ha ha, post more than Ned = have no life

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 11:26 (twenty years ago)

Only 44? Must try harder. What an imposition it is, having a Proper Job.

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

There's actually nobody in the top 30 I really dislike.

"feels paranoid that this was cut off at 30 (I'm 31)*

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:35 (twenty years ago)

Goodness me, I remember the days when I was 12th. Now I'm only 98th and 187th on the all time list, and 229th on last months.

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

Mine has just gone up because of Fantasy Football, Scottish football predictions and me being off work bored with the flu for a fortnight. Next week I'll be back off the radar again.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

It's kind of weird that the stats thing started working again, because i had no idea i was so far up the list and had pretty much decided that i was going to try to gracefully disappear.

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

Oh shit. I'm in the all-time Top 10. How did that happen?

Respectable #26 for the month though. I suspect my posting rate will plummet shortly when I start my new job.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

Mine grew.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

7th all time, not bad.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

Ha! No, Alisa! I picked 30 arbitrarily. And I (really) almost wrote 'no disrespect to anybody above 30, but I figured I was being paranoid.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

Well done mr N!

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Who is David Svensson and why is he all over the stats lists?

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 31 March 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

That's an excellent question.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 31 March 2005 01:35 (twenty years ago)

Search for messages posted by that login — result: nada.

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 31 March 2005 01:44 (twenty years ago)

It still needs a poke here and there

It's stored correctly in the db, it just doesn't display correctly. 25th is Huk-L. 33rd is Shakey Mo and so on.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 31 March 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

Mystery poster! Maybe he started the empty thread of a few years ago....

A few more posts and I will be back to my accustomed position of 22.

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Thursday, 31 March 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

OH my god. Kenan is #1. Crazy.

I've totally dropped off the recent posts lists since I took a break, but I'm still on the of all time list, so that's cool. There is a record of my dedication. All hail the statscock.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 31 March 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

four years pass...

bring it back

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 21:12 (sixteen years ago)

plz do not bring it back

― ice cr?m, Tuesday, 31 March 2009 21:13 (sixteen years ago)

why?

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 21:20 (sixteen years ago)

reflexive contrarity

― Aimless, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 00:43 (sixteen years ago)

three years pass...

plz bring it back

― ♆ (gr8080), Tuesday, 10 April 2012 22:20 (thirteen years ago)

It would make it easier to have threads like this for one thing:

who would u fuk?

― beachville, Tuesday, 10 April 2012 22:56 (thirteen years ago)

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