Stupid Things you've Done While Drunk

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I did something pretty damn stupid while intoxicated this weekend that I don't feel I should elaborate on at this juncture, but I feel pretty shitty as a result. Make me feel better by discussing yr own stupid, painful or high-risk drunken antics.

― djdee (djdee2005), Sunday, 27 February 2005 09:34 (twenty years ago)

I got a job in college that was 1/2 bar 1/2 pizza shop. After you start they put you through an initiation and you have to drink a whole bunch of wacky college drinks, etc. A really nice girl that I went to school with felt sorry for me and said she'd take me to her house at the end of the night so I'd have a place to stay and safely get there, etc. I remember during the night having to pee and figured I'd do it out of the window since I didn't know where the bathroom was. Of course, the window was closed and also above her senior photography portfolio. She never talked to me again, that's for sure.

― Taco Laser Dick, Sunday, 27 February 2005 09:41 (twenty years ago)

- cut my palm playing pool
- had to vomit out of a moving vehicle... that I was driving
- stopped drinking pitchers of beer (then-18-y/o me playing quarters vs. three older bartenders, oops) at 6:30am, had to be at work at 8:30 to serve a corporate party
- drunkenly volunteered to sit in as doorman for half an hour so the regular door guy could go buy speed, ended up stamping about a dozen underage girls 21+
- ran up $300+ bar tabs several times buying shots for everyone, I don't think I've used that Discover card since and I'm still paying on it

I quit drinking a couple of months after #2.

xpost - I'll take drunk-driving-vomiting over that.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Sunday, 27 February 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

also, numerous times, wrote 'poetry.'

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Sunday, 27 February 2005 09:45 (twenty years ago)

Posted to this board.

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 27 February 2005 10:02 (twenty years ago)

kept on drinking.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Sunday, 27 February 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

go to sleep in the middle of the road. thank god my niece was there to drag me to my feet and take me home. funniest thing: a guy approached us asking what the problem was. it was an ex-salesperson. hahaha oh dear.

― nathalie barefoot in the head (stevie nixed), Sunday, 27 February 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

hmm
there are some pretty stupid things in this thread, but i still feel stupider. Someone needs to outdo me.

― djdee (djdee2005), Sunday, 27 February 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

I need to cut down the drinking for a while. Last night I was at a party and ended up fighting with my best friend (though I eventually made up with her, like we always do) and hurting another friend with what I said (she duly punched me because of that), and all this for no proper reason at all.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 27 February 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Yo momma.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 27 February 2005 23:36 (twenty years ago)

No-one's owned up to really-bad-idea sex yet. So, er, I won't either.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 27 February 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

Well, yeah, I've had some unsafe sex while drunk, but hasn't everyone?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 27 February 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

No-one's owned up to really-bad-idea sex yet. So, er, I won't either.

*cough*

― djdee (djdee2005), Sunday, 27 February 2005 23:44 (twenty years ago)

i've said too much.

― djdee (djdee2005), Sunday, 27 February 2005 23:45 (twenty years ago)

Is this the internet equivelent of an awkward silence?

― djdee (djdee2005), Monday, 28 February 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

The wisest here will admit nothing.

― Entity, Monday, 28 February 2005 01:28 (twenty years ago)

indeed.

― djdee (djdee2005), Monday, 28 February 2005 01:38 (twenty years ago)

posted to the Oscar thread

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Monday, 28 February 2005 02:06 (twenty years ago)

A couple weekends ago, in an attempt to relive my college glory days, I did five beer funnels in 30 minutes (after drinking 1.5 bottles of wine, 1/2 dozen shots of whiskey & two more beer funnels earlier in the night) at a co-worker's B-day party. I passed out at their computer & someone put a lit birthday candle in my asscrack & took pictures. Then I threw up all over myself & the carpeted basement floor, removed my sweater & passed out, topless, on the cement floor on the other side of the basement.

I also urinated in the return slot of a Blockbuster Video in State College, PA. It was in 2000, so I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations is up on that one.

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Monday, 28 February 2005 02:59 (twenty years ago)

One time a girl friend said something jokingly insulting about me (I think, I don't remember) and I thought the proper response would be to pour my beer on her. This was freshman year of college. I didn't remember any of that in the morning.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Monday, 28 February 2005 03:44 (twenty years ago)

Me and a friend emptied most of the furniture out of a second storey window, chairs, couches, stereo, lamps, book shelves, pretty much everything. Next day was incredibly, excruciatingly embarrassing. We didn't have sex, though.

― David A. (Davant), Monday, 28 February 2005 03:48 (twenty years ago)

i had sex with someone in my circle of friends at uni even though i knew he lived with his long term gf (although i had not met her at that stage - not that that excuses it). now she quite often comes along when we all go out for dinner or boozing or whatever and i spend each outing wallowing in guilt. she is lovely and clearly adores her boyfriend and didn't deserve being cheated on. i have pretty much given up drinking, largely because of this one incident.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 28 February 2005 03:49 (twenty years ago)

- Drunkenly hooked up with a co-worker, but explained it away as a drunken evening and that I wasn't ready for a relationship.
- Then, two weeks later, drunkenly hooked up with a different co-worker (co-worker #1's best friend) and RAN INTO CO-WORKER #1 under circumstances that made it incredibly clear that I was going home with co-worker #2.

To make it even weirder, when the second incident happened, co-worker #1 was going home with another person we work with . . . who, months later, hooked up with co-worker #2.

I don't know which incident is most stupid, but I know that we all spend a lot of time trying to passive-aggresively argue about which among us should feel the most guilty.

― subgenius (subgenius), Monday, 28 February 2005 06:34 (twenty years ago)

Not that any of that is necessarily stupid, but it's the sort of nonsense that wouldn't transpire without the benefit of sweet, sweet liquor.

― subgenius (subgenius), Monday, 28 February 2005 06:36 (twenty years ago)

Heh, sounds like my last place of employ =)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 28 February 2005 06:43 (twenty years ago)

"trying to passive-aggressively argue"

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Monday, 28 February 2005 07:58 (twenty years ago)

Lots of posts of photos of guys pissing on ILM/ILE

― green uno skip card (ex machina), Monday, 28 February 2005 08:22 (twenty years ago)

hahaha

― djdee (djdee2005), Monday, 28 February 2005 08:40 (twenty years ago)

my dad threw out an entire set of china - cause he was drunk and it was his mother in law's. the next morning they woke up and heard this weird crackling sound. it was cars driving over the pieces. hah.

― nathalie barefoot in the head (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 February 2005 09:06 (twenty years ago)

I drank a lot this weekend and ended up really drunk. I tried to get into the cab drivers door, I opened it, he went Hey! I went Wow! and all my friends fell into histerics. I have of course peed through the crack in an off liscence's door (I kinda had a reason).

― lukey (Lukey G), Monday, 28 February 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

Fucked a 15yr old, but in my defense, she was hot as BALLS

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Monday, 28 February 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

Pretty much everything I posted on Your most spectacular failed pulling attempts, talk about them here

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 February 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

lecoq - taking into account the beer goggles factor?

― djdee (djdee2005), Monday, 28 February 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

Shouting at people I love. That encompasses 95% of it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 28 February 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I do that (figuratively speaking) when I'm *sober*

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 28 February 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

Scraping my friend's name all over the walls of a newly-painted club toilet and then etching it all over every car up the street in snow.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 28 February 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

I went to a party without my husband one night, got incredibly drunk, and went home with one of his friends. Hubbie never found out.

The friend and me don't mention it much, but I don't drink anymore, and I don't think he does either.

― no way, Monday, 28 February 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

Way back when at college (university) I had a humongous crush on a female friend. She was interested, but shy and hesitant, and I just felt like nothing would ever happen between us. One night at a dorm party I got smashed and went home with another woman I'd never met before BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE RESEMBLED MY CRUSH. "Close enough for rock & roll," as we used to say. A classic one night stand w. no follow-up. I could barely remember the main event.

Time went by, and my unrequited crush turned into an absolute obsession. Meanwhile the object of my affections turned incredibly cold and distant, not just disinterested but disgusted by the sight of her former pal: she'd leave a party when I arrived, etc. I grew up and got over it eventually, but it wasn't until about twenty years later that I realized...IT WAS THE SAME PERSON.

Alcohol and sex (and love) don't mix.

― lovebug starski (lovebug starski), Monday, 28 February 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

Started drinking at approximately 1:30 am after a gig. Talked into doing keg stand. Half-way through an attempted keg stand landing sequence, steel-toed boot goes through kitchen window. I don't know whose house this is. Very drunk now. Fall down stairs. Girl with dark hair helps me up. Memories getting harder to hold onto now. We're in a car. We're at my house. In my bed. Ooooh that's nice. ARGH NO TEETH NO TEETH. Wake up next morning next to the same disgusting evil tricksy hairy-lipped teenager girl I went to the party the night before in an attempt to avoid. Vow to never drink again.

― n1ckalicious, Monday, 28 February 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

What on earth is a keg stand when it's at home?

― Lucretia My Reflection (Lucretia My Reflection), Monday, 28 February 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

Place hands on edges of keg. Place keg nozzle in mouth. Have a couple gents grab your ankles and lift towards the heavens. Release beer into now upside-down face. Repeat until it's too late.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 28 February 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

http://www.duke.edu/~dms6/pictures/roadtrip/images/kegstand.jpg

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 28 February 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

Asshat in hippy shirt not required.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 28 February 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

The most stupid thing I've done while drunk is drive. And I did it for a long time before I got caught. I am a very passive driver while sober and while drunk, so speed was never going to be a factor, and as a driver I think I am more (ahem) polite than many. Also, I never drove more than ten miles drunk.(House to bar,etc.) But.None of this matters, when I think of how many lives I have threatened while propelling three thousand pounds of metal to and fro my destination.
I spent the night in jail, and i was so lonely and unhappy that I ended up singing to myself. (I had my own cell in a hall of cells. We couldn't see each other.) I got applause from my jailmates after the second song, and so I sang the night away to a bunch of people who were also behind bars.
I didn't like being in jail, so I made the best of it. But I hate the reasons I ended up there, and I hate the fact that I could be so careless with anothers life in my driving machine.
Hurting hurts most when it is physical and immediate. Just ask Velveteen Bingo.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 07:17 (twenty years ago)

this thread makes me feel a lot better about my new profession.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 07:20 (twenty years ago)

-stole hella money
-extolled the fellatio technique of another woman to current gf
-drove
-pissed on a cop car
-talked shit to really big dudes
-didn't use condom
-called People from The Past

― ()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 07:22 (twenty years ago)

My money's on lovebug to win thread.

― Paul Eater (eater), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

i'm afraid i'd break the internet if i tried to list everything.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

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