for friends of aaronhz...

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sorry i haven't been around lately. things have been really hectic.
bipolar. hospital. homeless shelter. etc.
i'm sure you can fill in the details...
it will be a while before i can get online regularly again, but if you want to leave messages i will read them and respond whenever i get a chance.

LOVE,

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

take care, dude. be sure to get any help ya need...

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

Whoa. Wow. Goodness gracious...

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:05 (twenty years ago)

i've gotta go, but thanks for the concern. next week i will try to answer every post that is left for me...

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

Dang. I admit I'd been wondering. Hope all settles for you ASAP.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

best wishes aaron!

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

please write if there's anything i can do for you. things will get better.

― dan (dan), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

It sounds like you've been caught in an unfortunate ILE thread called "FITE! - aaronhz's well-being vs aaronhz's brain chemistry".

We are all hoping that aaronhz's well-being wins.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

Aaron I'm glad you're okay, me and others have been worried about you because of your sudden disappearance. I hope things get better.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

aaron - much love. by the time you're back, i'll be gone.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Saturday, 23 April 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

Best wishes aaron, I hope you find your way through this.

― Failin Huxley (noodle vague), Saturday, 23 April 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

Good luck, buddy.

― Ken L (Ken L), Saturday, 23 April 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

Best wishes, Aaron. Take care of yourself, and know that you're worth taking care of.

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 23 April 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Aaron -- take care and hope to see you back on the boards very soon.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 23 April 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

holy shit, we've been worried man! take care.

LET US KNOW WHEN YOU'RE BACK!

― latebloomer: But when the monkey die, people gonna cry. (latebloomer), Saturday, 23 April 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

i hope that things get better for you, aaron...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Saturday, 23 April 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

best of luck to you, aaron.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 23 April 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

good luck dude.
hope you get back soon and in full form.

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Saturday, 23 April 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

this sounds really rugged, aaron. best of luck!

― g e o f f (gcannon), Saturday, 23 April 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

We've been worried about you, Aaron. We

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 23 April 2005 23:46 (twenty years ago)

no need to reply, just know there's much love.

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 24 April 2005 00:14 (twenty years ago)

I was completely unaware of this, Aaron, but fuck.....best wishes, good vibes and godespeed a swift recovery to you. You have friends here. Remember that.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 24 April 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

That should've been godspeed, of course, not godespeed, which -- I'd imagine -- means something else entirely. I normally hate the word 'godspeed,' being that it smacks of the very brand of religious claptrap that I detest (and it was the last word my father has ever sent my way), but fuck.....it fits the bill here.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 24 April 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

geodespeed

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Sunday, 24 April 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

Aaron, I'm sure I am but one of the many here whose hearts go out to you and what you must be going through at the present moment. Whatever happens, PLEASE take good care of yourself, and I hope you're able to bounce back sooner than you'd expect.

Rays of love from me to you.

― Goodbye Indian Summer (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 24 April 2005 03:11 (twenty years ago)

Dude, you remain one of my favorites. Get well soon, in a big way.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Sunday, 24 April 2005 03:18 (twenty years ago)

Wow Aaron I'm so sorry to hear you're having hard times - best wishes and hugs from me!

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 24 April 2005 03:29 (twenty years ago)

That should've been godspeed,

How fast is "godspeed" anyway? Is it as fast as when Superman turned back time? Faster? Do we really need that much speed?

― happy fun ball (kenan), Sunday, 24 April 2005 03:38 (twenty years ago)

Dude! Send me your address or something, as I need to send you a copy of the ILX comp, as you are on it and stuff. Take it easy!

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 24 April 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

How fast is "godspeed" anyway? Is it as fast as when Superman turned back time? Faster? Do we really need that much speed?
It's faster than the speed of "You Black Emperor" as it precedes it.

― Ian Riese-Moraine has a grenade, that pineapple's not just a toy! (Eastern Mantr, Sunday, 24 April 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

HAha, that blank bit in mine is because it was preceded with a <3

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 25 April 2005 01:20 (twenty years ago)

hi aaron, sorry about your troubles get well soon duderman. i'm pullin' for ya.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 25 April 2005 01:28 (twenty years ago)

that's disgusting, hstencil

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 25 April 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

I'm really sorry to hear of your troubles. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to hearing more of your music.

― Sundar (sundar), Monday, 25 April 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

will keep extra fingers crossed. i'll get the kids to do some finger crossin too.
m.

― msp (mspa), Monday, 25 April 2005 04:14 (twenty years ago)

euphemism, for what i have no idea. sorry, roxy.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 25 April 2005 04:31 (twenty years ago)

Blimey, that sounds rough aaron. Warm wishes, and I hope things get on an even keel for you seoon.

― C J (C J), Monday, 25 April 2005 07:34 (twenty years ago)

(joke, stence!)

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 25 April 2005 11:27 (twenty years ago)

I had the nervous breakdown homeless kick this year. ill be saying the best for you

― anthony, Monday, 25 April 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

i think the euphemism was for masturbation, stence.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 April 2005 11:38 (twenty years ago)

:-( Sorry to hear about this. *Huggelz*

Anthony, the same for you. Hope you are doing fine.

― nathalie in a bar under the sea (stevie nixed), Monday, 25 April 2005 11:46 (twenty years ago)

Much love to you, aaron. xoxo

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 25 April 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

Aaron, I don't know what to say. I hope you're OK and getting everything straightened out. Hope to see you writing here soon.

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 25 April 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

duder email me or call me (three four seven five two four oh nine three one) whenever you can, ok? loads of hugs yr way.

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Monday, 25 April 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

Oh, all this woe on ILX but lots of love - Anthony has been having a hard time too and has written a bit about it here it's a bit more abstractly titled so alot of you might have missed it.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 25 April 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

take care of yourself aaron and if you need a ear or any help, pls ask.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 05:07 (twenty years ago)

Ah no!

Aaron I hope things aren't too bad! Lotta love for you here.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

Aaron plz email me as soon as things stabilize. Also, Steph sends her concerns and well-wishes your way...hang in there, we know you're strong enough, and that things _will_ get better soon.

In your spare time when you do get access to the internet though, i still suggest you stick to email and avoid the toxicity of ilx (ok, noise board) interaction for a while at all costs...getting riled up about and over this place ain't worth it. really. just know that you have friends here who care about you, and that you can individually write us at any time. i've needed my own breaks from this, and they worked wonders! Love, V

― Vic in Alderaan (Vic), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 08:35 (twenty years ago)

be strong aaron and take care of yerself.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

that's why they call me slim shady - I'm back, I'm back.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Saturday, 30 April 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 92 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

who are you, again?

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

and that's my last post to this thread

DO YOU PROMISE?

I'd like to shout out the three people on ILX who have bothered to call me on the telephone and find out what kind of person I am.
I love you guys so much:
Homosexual II/Mandee W who I sent a care package to with her favorite chocolates.
[...]
Latebloomer/Alex R who is gonna remix some of my music, yay.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/011603/creepy-coffee-shop-guy.gif

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

who are you, again?

Cutty's worst nitemare, a poor man following his dreams instead of cashing in for security.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

OK and how old are you?

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

Have you ever considered that Cutty genuinely wants to be a lawyer?

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

haha that's <3 not >3.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

RJG: 25 in June.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

oh my gawd.

― ILX, Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

see what happens when someone's no longer afrais to be HONEST, uh oh.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

foolstarless: when i first saw you i thought you were the prettiest girl on ilx

― ha, Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

non friends can keep posting if they want me to pwn them that badly. bring it on.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

oh no i told a girl what i felt about her, now I'll never GET ANY.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

OK and what are the dreams you are following?

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

GO UNASSISTED FLIGHT

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

non friends can keep posting if they want me to pwn them that badly. bring it on.

Ol' Dirty Bastard, live and uncut!
Styles unbreakable, shatterproof
To the young youth, ya wanna get gun? Shoot!
BLAOW! How you like me now? Don't fuck the style
Ruthless wild!
Do ya wanna getcha teeth knocked the FUCK out?
Wanna get on it like that, well then shout!

Yo RZA, yo razor!
Hit me with the major
The damage, my Clan understand it be flavor
Gunnin, hummin comin atcha
First I'm gonna getcha, once I gotcha, I gat-cha
You could never capture the Method Man's stature
For rhyme and for rapture, got niggaz resigning, now master
my style? Never! I put the fucking buck in the wild kid, I'm terror
Razor sharp, I sever
the head from the shoulders, I'm better
than my compeda, you mean competitor, whadeva!
Let's get together

[Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buckwild with the tri-BLAOW!]

I react so thick, I'm phat, and YO!
Rae came blowing and blew off ya headphones black
Rap from yo Cali to Texas
Smoother than a Lexus, now's my turn to WRECK this
Brothers approach and half step, but ain't heard
HALF of it yet, and I bet you're not a fuckin vet
So, when you see me on the real, formin like Voltron
Remember I got deep like a Navy Seal!

― WU TANG, Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

I can totally sing that Wu Tang song perfectly, and have been known to do so for no reason at all.

What dreams? Music, artistic freedom. not having a "job", because I never wanted one. It's working so far...no thanks to my parents. SSI helps though. It's kinda like government funding for artists in a roundabout way. Michelle Shocked got it, I know.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

http://craphound.com/images/timemgmtforanarchs.jpg

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

yeah stupid bullshit, i really should drop it and GWT MY BUTT TO COLLEGE, huh?
I mean TIME IS RUNNING OUT AND I MIGHT WIND UP WORKING IN A GAS STATION.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

what other vocations are useless?

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

policeman, politician. social work of any kind.

THERE IS A DIVISION OF LEVELS OF HUMANITY HERE, CAN YOU DIG IT? SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD! UNITE! START THE RIOT, NOW!
ok, break time...
I'm gonna go learn "holy wars" on guitar. have fun with the shit talking and all that fellas.

― @@r0n h. z@nd3r$ (AaronHz), Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

http://www.netsquare.com/cartoon/tintin/america/181.gif

― Aaron Zanders, Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

not all lawyers are rich. my cousin c0r3y works in a public defender's office serving three rural Kentucky counties. She lives in a log cabin (no joke).

aaron, I am glad to see that you have a place to live now. I hope you are doing better. Pls take care of yourself.

― hstencil (hstencil), Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

policeman, politician. social work of any kind.

is this "zappa-esque" humour?

― Frogm@n Henry, Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

http://www.sandia.gov/tp/images/trainWreck.gif

http://www.familyoldphotos.com/pa/images2/jan3/trainwreck-r.jpg

http://i.xanga.com/MrChikinMoose/t/trainwreck.jpg

― Amon (eman), Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

THIS IS YOU DOT WMV

― this is you, Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

is aaronhz the neil hamburger of noize

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

― nope, Sunday, 1 May 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

I'm gonna go learn "holy wars" on guitar.

http://klatch.co.uk/images/misc/linkinpark.jpg

― goo, Sunday, 1 May 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

these are wise words.

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 1 May 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Aaron, back away from the internet. I'm fucking serious. We need to talk ASAP and not on this thread. I am worried about you.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 1 May 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

six years pass...

Wait, this is unlocked? I'm worried about Rox now. Something I said or did on either ILX or Facebook made her not want to associate with me anymore when we were cool a couple days ago, and she contributed heavily to the attempt to gaslight me on here back in the day.

I believe she works/has worked in the mental health industry and I will just say that in my experience most of what goes on there (aside from, say, helping people who attempt to harm themselves or others) is a scam to further line the pockets of the pharmaceutical industry and put free thinkers in their place. It works a bit like the show Dollhouse. Someone may be found to be causing too much trouble in "normal" society in a deviant sort of way. For instance, being obviously a male who looks and acts like a woman, but not a drag queen or other acceptable gay stereotype.

They haul you in, pump you full of chemicals that make you lose memories and then brainwash you about how you were "not well." You end up in some sort of flat submissive state (like the dolls inside the dollhouse on that show) and forget how to do things you used to know how to do, like sing and act on a professional level or walk move and dance like a woman naturally.

The thing these criminals (yes, I'm calling them criminals) do not realize is that when one of us finally wakes up from all this and remembers exactly what really happened, they assume a state similar to that of an Alpha Doll in the show. And I'm not the only one, not by a long shot. I met a girl tonight who was one too. I said "Who ARE you?" and she replied, "Hi! I'm Ari!" mimicking me perfectly. It was fucking mindblowing.

So it begins. People must learn the truth about this execrable industry and right here and now is the opening salvo of the war on "mental heath." We dolls are tired of your abuse. Try to stop us, it's no use.

― Hugs on Weed (AaronHz), Friday, 13 May 2011 12:18 (fourteen years ago)

Have you ever been rented out to someone and then forced to reenact some sick version of Richard Connell's The Most Dangerous Game? (That's the only episode I really remember from Dollhouse.)

― Mordy, Friday, 13 May 2011 14:16 (fourteen years ago)

ilx trainwrecks would be more amusing if there weren't actual people in the trains

― akm, Friday, 13 May 2011 18:02 (fourteen years ago)

In my experience, some mental health medications or courses of treatment can make the patient feel mentally cloudy or too even (without the peaks and valleys of emotion), but really, it's not going to remove or modify natural ability. People get really addicted to those peaks and valleys and refuse to accept anything that speaks against that pattern of mental imbalance as harmful.

Aaron, really, I hope you have found what works for you in the long-term without being harmful, but you're still kind of dodging at what might not be there in your posts here.

― mh, Friday, 13 May 2011 18:08 (fourteen years ago)

I'd like to say that I was the perfect little guilt-ridden strait-laced submissive cog in the system before my bipolar disorder was properly diagnosed and treated. Now I'm a free-thinking troublemaker. The system loves depression, because depression breeds unearned guilt, and guilt can be used to control people.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 13 May 2011 23:48 (fourteen years ago)

Are you sure you're not confusing your family with "the system" whatever the hell that is?

― mh, Saturday, 14 May 2011 00:45 (fourteen years ago)

wait i thought "the system" hated depression it inhibits productivity and therefore corporate profit, so "it" manufactures and distributes xanax, enabling afflicted members of the rat-race to hop back up on to their mouse wheels and start turning those cogs of industry yet again

― del griffith, Saturday, 14 May 2011 00:50 (fourteen years ago)

whoops forgot to include the word "because" in my important post on this important thread

― del griffith, Saturday, 14 May 2011 00:50 (fourteen years ago)

smell ya l8r

― jeff, Saturday, 14 May 2011 01:06 (fourteen years ago)

...and so ends the "hey what if we forget about permabans" experiment.

― it's time for the fish in the perculator (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 14 May 2011 01:33 (fourteen years ago)

do you dispute this example?

― mookieproof, Saturday, 14 May 2011 01:36 (fourteen years ago)

just was curious why one permaban was being lifted and the others weren't.

― it's time for the fish in the perculator (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 14 May 2011 01:45 (fourteen years ago)

dunno if it was lifted so much as someone briefly snuck through after six years

― mookieproof, Saturday, 14 May 2011 01:58 (fourteen years ago)

ban a man

― gr8080, Saturday, 14 May 2011 02:01 (fourteen years ago)

aaron hurts

― buzza, Saturday, 14 May 2011 03:15 (fourteen years ago)

lmao @ ddb

― gr8080, Saturday, 14 May 2011 03:19 (fourteen years ago)

one year passes...

People must learn the truth about this execrable industry and right here and now is the opening salvo of the war on "mental heath."

― buzza, Monday, 28 May 2012 06:50 (thirteen years ago)

buzza, shithead revivalist

― I want L'interieur chicken, not Hausu chicken (jjjusten), Monday, 28 May 2012 07:53 (thirteen years ago)

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