Speaking of baboons whacking off on rocks...has anyone ever masturbated outside?

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Once when I was younger I was out in my back yard and rubbed one out sitting on a hay bale.

I quit smoking, im feeling crazy.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

I find it hard to believe with this group of chronic masturbaters, no one has become one with nature.

― BINGIE, Wednesday, 4 May 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

When I was a teenager, I used to wank in the pine forest across the stream from my parents' house. It was really lovely, peaceful and quiet and smelled lovely and the light was perfect, like a pine cathedral.

But then I got scared of being not just interrupted but possibly *shot* by a deer hunter and I would hate to have the explain that one at the emergency room.

― Lapdog Shoesnog (kate), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

when I was at the bronx zoo this time last year, there was a particular baboon who liked to get right up close to the glass and reveal itself whenever a young girl (human) was watching. I truly cherished a families joy in nature leaving them as they whisked away their pubescent daughter.

I have been jerked off outside but never done the honours myself.

― lukey (Lukey G), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

I plead the fifth (cough)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:23 (twenty years ago)

I mast. my girlf. outside, does that count?

― Ahem, Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

No - it's crossed my mind a couple of times, but I always think that aeroplanes can see me, and all it takes is for NASA to swoosh their satellite over me and BOOM I'm in the National Enquirer.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

Kate has just given
us the best anti-hunting
argument ever.

"Dude, put down the guns!
Soon there will be hot teen girls
wanking in the woods!"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

But wait! I'm pro hunting! If only I'd lived in England then, and instead of toothless redneck hunters, I'd have been interrupted by horse-toothed aristoboys instead! I'd have carried on wanking like a teenage fiend!

― Lapdog Shoesnog (kate), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

does being in the ocean/sea count as 'outside'?. if so, then yes!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

I didn't think horse-toothed aristoboys were your sort of thing.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

Hey! I'm thinking BUSTED on horseback here.

― Lapdog Shoesnog (kate), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

Sorry I lied. Speaking of busted, the first time I busted a nut i was watching my neighbor sunning herself and I was on my deck. Whipped it out.

― chris v, Wednesday, 4 May 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

of course. who's masturbated to the bible? that lot's daughters shit is pretty hott.

― jeebus chrisco ahz, Wednesday, 4 May 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

nicka"rainstorm"licious to thread.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

Wouldn't the level of salt in the sea make that kind of painful, Rob?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

yes.

― Ian John50n (orion), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

from up in a tree onto the ground below in the woods behind the grandparents', yep.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

When I was 6 I persuaded my mum to buy me a copy of The Illustrated Bible For Children because it had a drawing of Eve nude in it. I liked looking at it. If I'd known how to masturbate back then I'm sure I would've.

― Affectian (Affectian), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

Yes I have, sometimes I still do.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

I'm curious to hear the NYC posters response to this question. I haven't.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

The weirdest place you've masturbated?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

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