2005 reality TV summer

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NEW YORK (AP) -- Get ready for Tommy Lee as an undergrad, two separate dance contests and apprentice rock stars, apprentice chefs, apprentice fashion designers, apprentice scholars, apprentice slackers and apprentice Hiltons.

With your favorite television series hibernating for the summer, television networks are uncorking a flood of reality programming.

Broadcast networks want to do more than show reruns all summer -- but they don't want to spend much money, either. The result is reality-clogged schedules. If the networks are lucky, one or two might capture the public imagination.

Summer has started already for the networks; "Hell's Kitchen" began Monday, and the WB begins its heavily promoted "Beauty & the Geek" on Wednesday. As the title suggests, the series takes some socially challenged smart guys and couples them up with dimwitted lookers. The couple that works best together in various contests could share $250,000, and who knows what else?

"I wouldn't call it a reality show so much as a social experiment," said Jason Goldberg, who produced the series with Ashton Kutcher.

Other new series in the works:

* "Hell's Kitchen" stars tightly wound British chef Gordon Ramsay, who's opening a new Los Angeles restaurant and chooses between contestants who want to cook there. Premiered May 30 on Fox.

* "Dancing With the Stars" will pair six celebrities, like boxer Evander Holyfield, with professional dancers to compete in a ballroom dancing contest. Premieres June 1 on ABC.

* "Hit Me Baby" exhumes has-been music stars who try to show a live audience they still have what it takes. The Knack, Vanilla Ice, Cameo, Tiffany, Wang Chung, Loverboy and Arrested Development are among the acts competing for charity in the NBC series, which premieres June 2.

* "The Scholar" will feature bright students competing for a college scholarship they might not otherwise be able to afford. No, they won't have to eat bugs: they have to show book smarts, compete in oral exams and defend themselves to an Ivy League scholarship committee. Starts June 6 on ABC.

* "Fire Me ... Please" films two people starting new jobs on the same day doing everything they can to be fired by midday. The person who wins will earn more than he could ever hope for from the job. Starts June 7 on CBS.

* "The Cut" brings 16 aspiring fashion designers to compete for a job with Tommy Hilfiger. The winner gets the opportunity to design a fashion collection under Hilfiger's label. Starts June 9 on CBS.

* "I Want to Be a Hilton." Fox still has Paris, but NBC has matriarch Kathy Hilton guiding 14 young contestants through the New York society scene. Whoever emerges as the winner of Hilton's contests gets to live the life of a rich person for a year. Debuts June 21.

* "The Princes of Malibu" is an Osbournes-style show that follows music producer David Foster, his new wife and adult stepsons Brandon and Brody Jenner, who move into Foster's 22-acre waterfront estate. The Fox series premieres July 10. wtf?

* "Rock Star: INXS." Super-producer Mark Burnett is behind this contest, where amateur singers compete for a job with the Australian rock band INXS, whose former singer Michael Hutchence died in 1997. The winner goes on tour and records an album with the band. Premieres July 11 on CBS, which will air the show three times a week until it's done.

* "Brat Camp," a remake of a popular British series, send six out-of-control teens to a boot-camp style program in the Oregon wilderness. The ABC series premieres July 13.

* "So You Think You Can Dance." Fox failed miserably with an attempt to hold a junior version of "American Idol," so now that show's creators are trying a dance version. You know the drill: embarrassing tryouts, pressure-filled performances and, finally, a winner. Starts July 20.

* "The Law Firm" on NBC is produced by David E. Kelley, who with "The Practice" and "Ally McBeal" is familiar with fictional lawyers. This show takes actual lawyers trying actual cases in front of judges and juries. Trial attorney Roy Black is the host for the series, which starts July 28.

* "Meet Mister Mom" sends stay-at-home moms on vacation and leaves clueless dads in charge of the house. Mom gets to watch the fun on closed-circuit TV. NBC, premieres August 2.

* "Tommy Lee Goes to College" trails the photogenic rock star as he enrolls in the University of Nebraska -- trying out for the marching band and cramming for exams. It starts August 16 on NBC. No word on whether Lee will talk about the lawsuit he and his bandmates in Motley Crue filed this week against the network for barring them from NBC shows.

* "Welcome to the Neighborhood" brings prospective new families into a suburban cul-de-sac. The white families who live there now have their preconceptions tested with potential neighbors that include gay, minority and heavily tattooed couples. The winning family gets to move in. The ABC series doesn't have a premiere date yet.

* "Are You the Girl" chronicles the search for a new partner for Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas and Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins, the two surviving members of TLC after the death of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. They're looking to start a new group, and the search will be seen on UPN. No premiere date has been set.

Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

actually, the real "WTF?" is for that TLC one...

Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

The Scholar might have my audience, but it looks like Welcome to the Neighborhood could be a dark horse winner too, though I'd assume that the really embarrassing stuff in it will be kept to a minimum.

Leeeee (Leee), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

"heavily tattooed"

Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

David Foster is a real piece of shit, I hope that show tanks...

Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

* "Hell's Kitchen" stars tightly wound British chef Gordon Ramsay, who's opening a new Los Angeles restaurant and chooses between contestants who want to cook there. Premiered May 30 on Fox.

I have *so* been looking forward to this ever since I heard about it nearly a month ago. I love love love the Gordon Ramsay programs shown on BBC America -- "Boiling Point", "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares", and "Beyond Boiling Point". I saw the very first episode and LOVED it. He looks like he REALLY wants to extract the very best efforts from the people who are competing and won't take anything less than 150%. Gordon Ramsay rules.

* "Dancing With the Stars" will pair six celebrities, like boxer Evander Holyfield, with professional dancers to compete in a ballroom dancing contest. Premieres June 1 on ABC.

I have already alerted Mom to this. She loves ballroom dancing and is absolutely looking forward to watching this show. Me, I'm not that interested in it.

* "Hit Me Baby" exhumes has-been music stars who try to show a live audience they still have what it takes. The Knack, Vanilla Ice, Cameo, Tiffany, Wang Chung, Loverboy and Arrested Development are among the acts competing for charity in the NBC series, which premieres June 2.

I can't wait to check THIS show out, OTOH! I just saw the preview of it this afternoon, i.e. less than an hour ago. Dude, they're going to have Tommy Tutone and A Flock of Seagulls, as well as The Knack, on this program!! Imagine the shock of people who only know AFOS from the "I Ran" video when they see how bearded and becapped Mike Score is nowadays! (The lead guy from Tommy Tutone looks pretty much the same as he did approx 25 years ago, or at least he did in the late '90s when he was being interviewed for some '80s retro program.)

* "Rock Star: INXS." Super-producer Mark Burnett is behind this contest, where amateur singers compete for a job with the Australian rock band INXS, whose former singer Michael Hutchence died in 1997. The winner goes on tour and records an album with the band. Premieres July 11 on CBS, which will air the show three times a week until it's done.

I still think that INXS can't go on without Michael Hutchence, but this concept looks INCREDIBLY intriguing and I *do* wonder if the band *can* find a leader as personable and electrifying as Michael was. It will be next to impossible, but, well, it's worth trying out, right?

Of all of the above, I think I only hate the "I Want To Be A Hilton", "The Princes Of Malibu", and "Meet Mister Mom" programs. The rest either sound kinda okay or really interesting. Is this the summer when I finally cave in to the attractive qualities of reality TV?

The Kind and Benevolent Oracle of Dee (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

I like how they only say that "Brat Camp" is a remake of a popular British series, when the first three are as well. Are they trying to kid on that they thought of these others themselves?

ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Hit Me Baby One More Time's on!

Loverboy was rather shaky ("Working for the Weekend") and I'm absolutely dreading their cover of "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias.

CeCe Peniston(!) sounded a bit off during "Finally" but still decent. She's pretty attractive these days (despite her weird lips). Wasn't expecting her to appear at all.

Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

OH MY DEAR LORD, it's the touring version of AFOS that's been a going concern for at least ten years! i.e. a bunch of hired hands and a shaky-voiced Mike Score still sounding like he doesn't know how out-of-shape he is, so he keeps on bopping like he used to. And Mike still sounds American when he talks!

I can't wait to see if Arrested Development is going to appear WITH Dionne "I miss the hell out of this woman" Farris.

The Kind and Benevolent Oracle of Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

Peniston's going to do some Faith Hill song. I don't know what cover A Flock of Seagulls will be doing and I don't really care -- Mike Score sounds dreadfully vocally (yelped almost like a sodding chihuahua) these days and they're more of an eyesore now than they were in 1982. Score spent too much time in Key West and Panama City, I'm afraid.

Arrested Development's doing "Tennessee" and I think they'll be the best performers out of the entire lot. They'll be doing Los Lonely Boys' "Heaven" for those not paying attention to the show.

Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

Hit Me Baby One More Time - The TV Show! is a going concern over at ILM

miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that thread wasn't up when I started posting.

Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:26 (twenty years ago)

oh I wasn't chastising, just informing. It's all good!

miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:27 (twenty years ago)

Of course!

Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

Thanks, miccio! And thanks for the "where has Mike Score been storing himself lately?" info, Ian.

Arrested Development kicked major ass. Speech was really, really awesome, and the woman who did the solo bit of "Tennessee" sounded *almost* as golden as the original recording's solo bit performer sounded. They are still quite amazingly good.

AFOS is going to do some Ryan Cabrera song, which ought to prove to be even more of an embarrassment than that ill-thought-out Los Lonely Boys cover, which is only going to be embarrassing because Los Lonely Boys FUCKING BLOW. Oh dear Lord, why Los Lonely Boys? Arrested Development could recite the telephone directory and it'd be way better than anything those bozos could dream up.

Oh cool. Tiffany's actually going with something that'll fit her, i.e. a Kelly Clarkson song! She might actually make it sound better than the original, though I don't know about that because I'm not aware of any Kelly Clarkson songs.

The Kind and Benevolent Oracle of Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:30 (twenty years ago)

Thanks, miccio! And thanks for the "where has Mike Score been storing himself lately?" info, Ian.
No problem. I only knew that because my father used to cut his hair in the mid-to-late-Eighties every time he went to Panama City (before Score lost his tastes and aged).

Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...
Rock Star INXS is FANTASTIC!!!

EComplex (EComplex), Saturday, 16 July 2005 02:43 (twenty years ago)


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