Urinal Etiquette

Bad etiquette is to simply piss on the guy standing at the urinal - avoid doing this, as it could lead to raised eyebrows.

...the comfy option...

...the comfy option...

We crown you U-man, Master of the Urinal and defender of the secrets of Castle Greystall. You should be proud of your urination knowledge, and rest easy in the fact that if nothing else, you can go to the bathroom with the best of them. Congratulations!

Imagine, if you will, the three urinals in my former office. From left to right, they are: reduced-height (i.e., child-size), normal, normal.

When one goes into a men's room and someone is already there, it is customary to take the urinal furthest from that person. But if he's using the one on the right, you're faced with a dilemma. Do you go to the one in the middle? That could be seen as weird by the man who was already there--because he might think you're deliberately choosing to urinate next to him.

On the other hand, you can't choose the one on the left, because it's child-sized. It might look like you're either a) a wuss who's so afraid to pee near somebody else that he'll use the kiddie urinal, or b) so afraid of seeming gay that you go out of your way not to pee next to a guy; jeez, get over it. No matter what you do, your choice could call undue attention to itself.

And maybe you think you can avoid this by going to a stall, but no--see above. If you set up a pattern of always going into a stall when one of the urinals is in use, then you will be broadcasting your Urinal Shyness, even if your motive was to be accommodating of someone else's.

Probably no one is scrutinizing your behavior to determine if you have hangups. But you can never quite be sure, and there's no one you can ask: "Hey, Bob, did you notice it the other day when I totally was about to go into the men's room at the same time as you, then suddenly pretended I had left something on the copier? Did that make you think that I'm a weirdo?"

No.

remember the maine
to hell with spain
don't forget to pull the chain

the number of times it takes to go to a toilet, with one person on the urinal, to find the same person in the loo not pissing but looking at who's walking into the cubicles, in order to establish a REPUTATION!!! seems phenomenal

Like this guy.

http://www.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/f/f8/180px-C-abe.png

Stand in front of the kiddie-sized one and aim for the one in the middle!!

if it's a public bathroom and it's in revolting condition, i'll piss standing up, sure. at home, though, i usually piss sitting down. it allows me to "use some bog roll to catch the drips" as ambrose said. most guys still have a drop or two of piss that comes out no matter how much they shake their cocks around. and i like blowjobs, and we don't always get in the shower right before we have sex, so it's nice to do whatever i can to avoid reminding her that i urinate out of my penis. so many guys have cocks that smell like wee all the time, so why be one of them?

no matter how many times you do the dance, the last two drops go in your pants.

Holy fuck! I'm so happy I'm not the only one!

oh man! good thing i posted!

In high school my friend and I coined the term PUD, meaning Post Urination Drip. It is most insidious.

the answer to PUD is t.p. and kegels. put the two together (squeeze dracula squeeze!) and you're usually ok. the only tricky bit is getting the bits of t.p. off that get stuck to the head of your wang.

Said the guy who was LOGGED OUT!

I ain't gonna go you a pansy or nuthin'. I will say that I won't sit at home to pee because when I do, I have to sorta recreate that scene from Silence of the Lambs and THAT AIN'T MY STYLE, LOGGED OUT!

I wonder if the carnivorous ones really work...

A guy at my school used to yell "MAP OF SRI LANKA!" and point at the wet spot on the grey trousers of any poor sod who suffered from PUD.

After a while you just shrug yr shoulders and live with it. But I can't see a single reason why a bloke wouldn't choose the stall out of preference every single time. Men are weird.

Man punched over urinal etiquette

I saw a guy at Lincoln Center EATING POPCORN at the urinal.

We have a guy somewhere in our building who vandalises the toilets by smearing shit on the walls in the cubicles. I've never witnessed it but a guy in another department forwarded me a mail they got from their manager about it and they have signs up in all the bathrooms saying "the cleaners are not here to deal with your unacceptable behaviour", or something along those lines. In the email it doesn't quite spell it out that it's shit daubed on the walls but it does mention that it would have been "quite distressing" for whoever found the mess and that the person who has done it, and apparently on several occasions, should seek professional help.

(xpost) Was it salty?

Popcorn and urine smell about the same to me.

the restrooms at the Union Sq cinemas are worse than CBGB. (You can shit on a puertorican whore)

the urinals at my school's football stadium look like this

http://rotoauthority.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/urinal.gif

for some reason i physically can't pee w/o some type of divider in between

x-post
So what about the trough? There are numerous bars/restaurants around here that have this in place of urinals and it seems totally unacceptable to me. Though I actually think there should always be a barrier between one urinal and another, just to be on the safe side.

The bathroom where I work has only one urinal, so no etiquette is really necessary, thank god.

Wow, way to be so precious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MHtx1nwFow&NR=1