"Eat My Asshole Inside Out" and other jaw-dropping insults

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Maybe it was because the person who said this was someone I always thought of as a good girl, but this insult was so out of the ordinary it really left an impression. Suddenly, she has used the phrase 3 or 4 times and variants she has used are "yeah, well, he can just eat my fucking raw asshole" and she has combined the two into "...eat my fucking raw asshole inside out."

Does anything beat this?

http://www.stitchability.co.uk/Hummel%20Hansel%20and%20Gretel.jpg
"You can eat my raw fucking asshole."

― You big dumbasses, Friday, 8 July 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

Alex in NYC to thread!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

Is the thread title a pun?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

I find it somewhat disquieting that mine is the first name that springs to Nickalicious's mind when raw asshole eating is invoked, but I suppose I earned it on this thread....

Things to call people you are unhappy with

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

It's because of that thread Alex! And because I LOVE YOU!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

Yesterday I heard this teenage girl say to her friend on the phone "blow me with a rusty shopvac", fwiw.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

....what do you mean jaw-dropping? Just because it's incongruous? I tend to find baroque and overwrought insults to be silly and lacking in venom in most situations where an actual insult is needed ("Suck a bloody severed cow schlong" is something a teenaged pimply movie-geek would say). K.I.S.S: Keep It Simple and Severe. "Shut the fuck up, fatso." Personally, I've got zero time/respect for ethnic/sexual/gender insults, but if that's your bag, whatever: make sure your friends know your bloodtype.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

There is a New Orleans tune whose chorus goes "suck out my ass-hooooole, lick my fucking nuts".

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

That being said: a raw and vivid comeback delivered honestly and believably can be perfect. It's just that the vast majority of people that shoot those are also people that spend time in their bedroom commiting to memory the taxonomy of household objects that can be used to fuck, suck, rape, bludgeon and kill. In other words: goth-nerds.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

I can't think of a single arcane goth-nerdy insult I've ever dropped that's been carefully constructed and thought out in advance. Stream-of-consciousness rudity chains are key here. You fatuous fountain of flying ferret feces. (See? Three seconds of typing.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

"Shut the fuck up, fatso." Personally, I've got zero time/respect for ethnic/sexual/gender insults

You're a weightist?

― Hmmmmm, Friday, 8 July 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

Gangrenous pustule of rancid sebum!

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

Stream-of-consciousness rudity chains are key here.

...true, but for the beginner, the "Zone" doesn't come easily. Hence: the goth-nerd-insult version of the rhymebook.

Once again, I am reminded of the Greatest Joke of All Time: the Clown joke.

xpost: no, not really. I'm just saying: cut to the quick, if you're in it to win it.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

yeah, well, he can just eat my fucking raw asshole

I can imagine many contexts where this is not an insult.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

I think Strunk & White's Elements of Style are very useful for insults, especially:

*Use the active voice (Although the imperative is just as effective.)
*Omit needless words
*Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end
*Use figures of speech sparingly (Avoid cliches)

― elmo (allocryptic), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

a teenaged pimply movie-geek

...which, of course, would be me about 8 years ago.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

I've recently been a fan of "suck my rusty cum-faucet"

― matlewis (matlewis), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

Sounds like the original poster's friend:
1) recently started working in the p0rn biz;
2) really does have a raw asshole, and;
3) has learned some colorful phrases from her new coworkers.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

Hopefully she doesn't have a cooked asshole!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

"Your Mother's a Fat Whore"

― Tigerstyle Shamanic Vision Quester (sexyDancer), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:58 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it's a subversive way to get what she really honestly desires?

― Ian Riese-Moraine has been xeroxed into a conduit! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 8 July 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

"Eat my fucking asshole with a dental dam" does bear the same urgency.

― elmo (allocryptic), Friday, 8 July 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

...a few possible additions would be "bloody," "hairy" and "dirty"

― GG Allin, Friday, 8 July 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

"He thinks he's King Shit of Fuck Mountain." I always liked that one.

― andy --, Friday, 8 July 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

Eat my asshole, which has been marinating in a delightful jus all morning, and then slowly roasted over an open flame.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 8 July 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

A female acquaintance used to urge others to "Lick her vag til it squeaks."

I assume it was a "squeaky clean" type of squeak, but who knows?

― elmo (allocryptic), Friday, 8 July 2005 18:05 (twenty years ago)

Maybe she had a mouse "problem".

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 July 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

a friend of mine had a co-worker who once told him to "go suck a wrench in the shed behind your dirty uncle's house".

― La Monte (La Monte), Friday, 8 July 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

I once told video game characters to "stop pissing in your mouths and go DO SOMETHING." Gnarly.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 8 July 2005 18:32 (twenty years ago)

the most repulsive of my roommate's insults is "cunt scab". he tries to save it, refrain from using it now and then, trying to keep it a shocker

― pete densmore, Friday, 8 July 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

I'm a fan of repeat-with-slight-variation for emphasis: "Eat it. Eat it raw."

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Friday, 8 July 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

"Lick my vag til it squeaks."

"Go suck a wrench in the shed behind your dirty uncle's house."

Both of these are very good.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 8 July 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

A female acquaintance used to urge others to "Lick her vag til it squeaks."

I assume it was a "squeaky clean" type of squeak, but who knows?
Maybe she had a mouse "problem".

On more than one occasion have I heard vaginas referred to as "scummy mouseholes"!

― Ian Riese-Moraine has been xeroxed into a conduit! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 8 July 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

Where do you live again?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 8 July 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

Back-spackled seed-receptical.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 31st, 2003 7:02 AM.

bahahahaha

― Ô¿Ô (eman), Friday, 8 July 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

Within a week of moving back to Mississippi in '75, one new classmate called another "a dried-up corroded turd" and I knew I was in territory with a rich insult heritage. (These were otherwise-moronic 5th-graders.) Later on, one of the more creative mouths was on Tammy Wyn3tt3's ex-brother-in-law, who I worked with in Tupelo. "Hey...you like duck meat? Well duck down here and getcha some."

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 9 July 2005 00:22 (twenty years ago)

"Hey...you like duck meat? Well duck down here and getcha some."

This has brightened up my evening considerably. Cheers!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 9 July 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

i'm sure i've mentioned this before but at one point in the 80s coming into Glasgow Central Station there this grafitti in 6 foot high letters that said "FUCK THATCHER WITH AN AIDS COCK".

― zappi (joni), Saturday, 9 July 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

"Somebody peed in his mother!"

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Saturday, 9 July 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

These insults are very childish. I think you could concentrate your energies on more worthy pursuits.

― Esteban Buttez!!!!!, Sunday, 10 July 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

what was the line from Heathers: "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw"?

― kingfish (Kingfish), Sunday, 10 July 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

I did a play where the daughter tells the mother, "Yeah, well your asshole tastes like a rubber doughnut."

Thanks. Good night.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 10 July 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

In Edinburgh's Candlemaker Row I once refused a request for a cigarette, which refusal elicited the following:

"I hope your next shit takes your arsehole with it"

― Harthill Services (Neil Willett), Monday, 11 July 2005 04:37 (twenty years ago)

hey how about instead you eat my ass you clueless cum bubble
-- trife ($$2...), September 26th, 2002

― Frogm@n Henry, Monday, 11 July 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

this thread is pure class.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

"yeah? well, you're fat"

(only works if accusee is actually fat)

― bilbohiggins, Monday, 11 July 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

It's even better if the accusee isn't fat but thinks he/she is! (Assuming of course that you really hate the accusee and don't mind contributing to someone's debilitating and life-threatening eating disorder.) (I've ruined it, haven't I?)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

even better if the accuser is fat

― president carter loves repetition (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

OTM!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

tbh "you're fat" is a shit insult, you 5-day-old-cum-soaked-wotsit-found-on-the-playground-floor-eating-motherfuckers.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

My friend Steve called a Deli owner a "well-lathered balloon-knot" last week.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

...and I laughed.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

I read "fuck me vertical with a razor" the other day on a message board. Had to laugh even if it wasn't that original.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

tbh "you're fat" is a shit insult, you 5-day-old-cum-soaked-wotsit-found-on-the-playground-floor-eating-motherfuckers.

Shut it, Rotunda McFatass.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

see, that's much better. Rotunda McFatass made me chuckle.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 11 July 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

Well, I was just talking theory upthread; obviously when executing the insult you've got to put some stank on it.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

yeah? well, you're fat.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

My friend Rob's ex-wife Joanne used to exclaim the word "fat" as one would depress an airhorn, ala "You're FAAAAAAT!!!!!!!" Insult-wise, it was remarkably effective.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

*sobs* *sticks fingers down throat* I JUST WANT TO BE PRETTY!!!!

― The Ghost of A Fourteen-Year-Old Girl (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

you're McPretty.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha OMG that's awesome, I have to remember that one!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

the sincerity of that statement does not tranlate well on this thread.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

six years pass...

shitgargling fuckdog

― talking heads, quiet smith (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:03 (fourteen years ago)

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:10 (fourteen years ago)

pissfarting knobdonkey

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:11 (fourteen years ago)

sweatspewing dickrhino

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:11 (fourteen years ago)

gargling is not an excretion fyi

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:12 (fourteen years ago)

cumcrying screwhippo

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:12 (fourteen years ago)

xp it's a bodily function, at a stretch

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:12 (fourteen years ago)

'stretch' not a pleasant term to introduce at this juncture tbh

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:13 (fourteen years ago)

I know, I know. I've spoiled everyone's fun by over-analysing it. But those people are just a bunch of Santorumsneezing fuckferrets...

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:14 (fourteen years ago)

smegmasnorting felchmonkey

― What does one wear to a summery execution? Linen? (Michael White), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:14 (fourteen years ago)

Yay! That's the spirit. Bilebelching shagtiger!

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:16 (fourteen years ago)

èpece de brute

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:16 (fourteen years ago)

feckless shitemonger

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:18 (fourteen years ago)

Tu veux dire espèce de brute, espèce de chiasse?

― What does one wear to a summery execution? Linen? (Michael White), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:19 (fourteen years ago)

You couldn't organize a shitshow in an outhouse

― What does one wear to a summery execution? Linen? (Michael White), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:20 (fourteen years ago)

oui j'ai got it mixed up innit

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:25 (fourteen years ago)

mon cul, c'est du poulet

tu veux une aile?

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:29 (fourteen years ago)

Je vous pisse à la raie, tous

― What does one wear to a summery execution? Linen? (Michael White), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:33 (fourteen years ago)

titim gan éirí ort

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:34 (fourteen years ago)

Jebiesz jeze, sie kurwo.

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:38 (fourteen years ago)

ur mother's flaps

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:38 (fourteen years ago)

Koński zwis pierdolec.

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:38 (fourteen years ago)

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51O5cAyKaDL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:47 (fourteen years ago)

Pustulent bag of spirochetes

― What does one wear to a summery execution? Linen? (Michael White), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:48 (fourteen years ago)

shithouse

― flipper? I hardly even knew 'er (darraghmac), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:49 (fourteen years ago)

I wish you a fetid shower of chunky diarrhea

― What does one wear to a summery execution? Linen? (Michael White), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:52 (fourteen years ago)

lol

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 22:54 (fourteen years ago)

in honor of REM i just want to say i hear this thread title sung to the tune of "Turn You Inside Out"

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 24 September 2011 01:50 (fourteen years ago)

my dad was partial to "Shit in your hat and punch it"

― incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 24 September 2011 04:36 (fourteen years ago)

for a while "eat my ass" was such a common phrase at my workplace that we just shortened it to "e.m.a."

― one dis leads to another (ian), Saturday, 24 September 2011 04:50 (fourteen years ago)

for some reason this makes me imagine you working at a travel agency

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 24 September 2011 04:55 (fourteen years ago)

FEMA = Fucking Eat My Ass

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Saturday, 24 September 2011 07:56 (fourteen years ago)

crève, salope

― zvookster, Saturday, 24 September 2011 10:19 (fourteen years ago)

A Turkish girl I used to date told me the worst insult in Turkish translated as "I will plant a palm tree in your arse and fuck your mother in its shade".

― Inevitable stupid samba mix (chap), Saturday, 24 September 2011 22:12 (fourteen years ago)

that is fantastic, thank you for sharing.

― runaway (Matt P), Saturday, 24 September 2011 22:14 (fourteen years ago)

five years pass...

Choke on a fat one cumslut

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Monday, 20 March 2017 05:27 (eight years ago)

shove this texas reach around up yer ass lips u gangrene motherfucker

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Monday, 20 March 2017 05:44 (eight years ago)

This thread title made me think of The Mighty Mighty Lemon Drops.

― Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Monday, 20 March 2017 16:59 (eight years ago)

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