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I HAVE HAD ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS

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I have experienced SIX different varieties of Mountain Dew, as of five minutes ago. I will now share with you my knowledge. Comments within parentheses are formatted as follows: ([color of liquid], [principle flavor], [comments])

  • MD (yellow, "...," the original)
  • MD Code Red (red, "..."
  • MD LiveWire (orange, "orange")
  • MD Pitch Black (black, "grape")
  • MD Baja Blast (turquoise, "lime" + "...," exclusively available at Taco Bell)
  • MD Pitch Black II (black, "grape," sour version of Pitch Black)

    Code Red and Baja Blast are fairly refreshing. The rest of the list I'm not likely to ever seek out again. Mountain Dew has a weird enough cult following that they can perform these kind of social experiments and get away with it; I can't help thinking though that most folks aren't getting "bored" of the original flavor, however, so each time they come out with something new, they're just space-shifting sales from one section of the gas station cooler to another, and most of those sales are returned to classic Yellow by the end of the month.

    All of them are sweeter than Lucozade itself. Mountain Dew is a bit like american-bottled Coca Cola - you could swear you can actually FEEL the corn syrup. The Pitch Black and LiveWire flavors are the worst offenders, for both excessive sweetness and poor balancing of acidity.

    ― TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

    • The thread title makes it read like you've claimed their virginities.

    ― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

    You do realize you killed that thread, right?

    ― TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

    Where did you come upon the six varieties of Mountain Dew?

    ― Confounded (Confounded), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:38 (twenty years ago)

    this is my favorite type of ILE thread

    ― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

    What is the goddamn matter with you!

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

    I thought this was going to be about how you were totally wired and climbing the walls because you had HAD ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS in the house, ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS you could possibly have, but in your crazed state you desired even ONE MORE MOUNTAIN DEW!

    ― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

    You seemed to have skipped Diet Mountain Dew and Caffiene Free Diet Mountain Dew.

    ― svend (svend), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

    The World of Mountain Dew

    ― Confounded (Confounded), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

    THe thing is I can never tell, by what he's saying, if he means he just had SIX MOUNTAIN DEWS, 5 minutes ago, or as of 5 minutes ago, he finally achieved the accomplishment of tasting the 6th.

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

    go brush your teeth. yech.

    ― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

    one of my bosses at work drinks diet code red

    ― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

    Tom I salute your achievement, FUCK THE HATERS.

    ― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

    YOU ALL NEED TO QUIT DRINKING HATORADE AND START DRINKING ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS, THEN YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT

    ― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

    Yeah, where's the diet? That's what I get at 7-11 at 2am when I've been really drunk - seems like a good idea.

    ― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

    Maybe it's time to move on to Green River?

    ― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

    TS: GATORADE VS. VITAMIN WATER

    ― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

    I HAVE HAD ALL THE VITAMIN WADDERS

    ― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:50 (twenty years ago)

    Tom drinks all the gatorade too. Tom has never heard of water.

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

    OMG I just bought a 2-liter of Pitch Black II. I am not encouraged by this negative report (although I did like the original Pitch Black).

    So far Baja Blast pwns all. Code Red is for sucks.

    ― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

    THe thing is I can never tell, by what he's saying, if he means he just had SIX MOUNTAIN DEWS, 5 minutes ago, or as of 5 minutes ago, he finally achieved the accomplishment of tasting the 6th.

    Doesn't matter. He's temporarily fucked when they release the seventh one.

    ― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

    i liked pitch black for a change of pace tho it was v. much like grape soda. code red was icky.

    ― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

    I think the word "icky" was pre-emptively coined for the flavor of Code Red, which could be charitably described as "the aftertaste in a downtrodden prostitute's mouth after eating an entire package of Luden's cough drops in a vain attempt to drown the taste of unwashed cock".

    ― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

    you could swear you can actually FEEL the corn syrup.

    Interestingly, I've been told that Mountain Dew was the last of the big brand sodas to make the switch from sugar to HFCS (aka diabetes in a bottle). I did love it back in the day, but, yeah, it's kinda nauseating nowadays.

    ― M. V. (M.V.), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

    That thing about the prostitute was so not necessary.

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

    omg dan. you've finally gone too far.

    ― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

    As punishment, you will not be invited to the LesBarbie Wedding.

    ― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago)

    it figures that it'd take Mountain Dew's involvement for that to happen

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago)

    Dan, it was the frosting on the MD cake. really.

    ― kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago)

    Where did you come upon the six varieties of Mountain Dew?

    I came upon the original elephant urine version in my childhood, as it was widely available, thought at the time I seem to recall preferring Mello Yello. That is no longer the case.

    When I was 22 and in the military, I was ordered to travel from Monterey, CA, to San Angelo, TX, and I did this over a weekend, with the help of a cohort in a separate vehicle and many bottles of Mountain Dew: Code Red. Many times that summer and in the following months I would hear another of my colleagues, an enlistee from Guam, quote a line from "A Few Good Men" in my presence, trying to be funny.

    When I was 25 and still in the military, living in a basement apartment in Maryland, I purchased two bottles of Moutain Dew LiveWire and started this thread.

    Last weekend, we went to Taco Bell to get lunch in the middle of a road trip to North Carolina, and I acquired a mssive plastic cup of Mountain Dew Baja Blast. It hit the spot.

    When I was 25 or 26 I discovered the original Mountain Dew Pitch Black in the cafeteria beverage coolers of the J. Edgar Hoover building. Now, almost a year later, I have found the sequel in almost exactly the same place, about 5 rows down and to the left just a bit.

    ― TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

    "we got mountain dew and clam juice."
    "ewwww! i'll take the clam juice."

    ― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

    You remember all THAT but not my birthday!

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

    about 5 rows down and to the left just a bit.

    Saga of sagas! Glad I asked.

    ― Confounded (Confounded), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

    omg dan. you've finally gone too far

    Nonsense! Carry on, sir.

    ― M. V. (M.V.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

    "You Can't Handle the Dew?"

    ― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

    Half the time I can't tell whether I am reading this thread or the Plan My Wedding thread.

    ― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

    (x-post, meant to be posted after Ally's post)

    ― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

    Mountain Dew was invented in Knoxville.

    (This is mostly true.)

    ― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

    oh there's no wedding.

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

    i've tried diet and code red--both were disgusting. but the original is cherce.

    perhaps we should toast with it at the WEDDING

    ― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:13 (twenty years ago)

    I really don't understand the massive amount of dislike for Code Red. I much prefer it to the original, though I think Dan might be right, Baja Blast is the kid at school that everybody likes.

    ― TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

    (There are so many points in that last post of mine where I wanted to stop but it felt like demons were egging me on.)

    (And yes, if Code Red was the color of Baja Blast I would have much less of a problem with it.)

    ― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

    omg dan. you've finally gone too far.

    And people here complain about me. Sheesh. But he's actually not too far from truth. I had some last week because some eejit put it in the vending machine slot at work where Wild Cherry Pepsi was supposed to be, and it was, well, icky indeed.

    ― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Friday, 9 September 2005 19:16 (twenty years ago)

    Like Wild Cherry Pepsi is this huge improvement

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

    Drink That Funky Pepsi, White Boy.

    ― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

    God what is wrong with all of you people that you'd even consider putting these things into your bodies.

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

    You're the one marrying Tom.

    ― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

    I'm not putting him in my body either!

    ― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

    I guess your mom hasn't told you about what happens on the honeymoon yet.

    ― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

    I.e., YOU WILL BE FORCEFED ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS.

    ― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

    Skipping 278 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

    A thread of renown:

    I just walked in on my friends having a Mountain Dew tasting party and I thought they were joking but they've definitely tasted 15 kinds so far and they have 27 flavors altogether. one friend says: "this is worse than the worst SAW movie"

    — priscilla page (@BBW_BFF) January 20, 2018

    ― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 00:18 (eight years ago)

    #jelly

    ― calstars, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 01:12 (eight years ago)

    I need some friends like that

    ― JRN, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 01:55 (eight years ago)

    it's a fucking soda

    ― The times they are a changing, perhaps (map), Tuesday, 23 January 2018 04:30 (eight years ago)

    pop

    ― mookieproof, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 04:37 (eight years ago)

    one year passes...

    That's right friends I'm looking at pictures of store brand Mountain Dew again pic.twitter.com/KeBno0lCPD

    — weed opposer (@yerpalmildsauce) April 19, 2019

    ― mookieproof, Saturday, 20 April 2019 22:04 (six years ago)

    Glad they added the extra 'e' to HEEE HAW to avoid litigation from the Roy Clark Estate.

    ― pplains, Saturday, 20 April 2019 23:53 (six years ago)

    KNow what goes good with some Mountain Shoutin'?

    https://i.imgur.com/BrXZRuC.jpg

    ― pplains, Sunday, 21 April 2019 04:10 (six years ago)

    Dyin’

    ― calstars, Sunday, 21 April 2019 07:59 (six years ago)

    incredible

    ― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Sunday, 21 April 2019 11:31 (six years ago)

    one month passes...

    A thread of Eminem as bottles of Mountain Dew pic.twitter.com/B8CtTio5kM

    — ☥Seymour Guapo🌅 (@MacheteBlak) April 17, 2019

    ― mookieproof, Thursday, 6 June 2019 15:41 (six years ago)

    two years pass...

    $SAM $PEP Boston Beer Partners w PepsiCo for U.S. Launch of New 'HARD MTN DEW' Alcoholic Offering. Adults of legal drinking age will experience the HARD MTN DEW bold flavors & distinctive branding, all w an Alcohol by Volume (ABV) of 5%, perfect for occasions to dial-up the fun pic.twitter.com/pIH1m5wfJv

    — Hammerstone Markets (@HammerstoneMar3) August 10, 2021

    ― mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 13:33 (four years ago)

    That's gotta go against the "no advertising to minors" rule.

    ― pplains, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 15:09 (four years ago)

    this is just four loko isn't it

    ― criminally negligible (harbl), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 15:32 (four years ago)

    I think the word "icky" was pre-emptively coined for the flavor of Code Red, which could be charitably described as "the aftertaste in a downtrodden prostitute's mouth after eating an entire package of Luden's cough drops in a vain attempt to drown the taste of unwashed cock".
    ― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9. September 2005 13:57 (fifteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

    christ

    ― groovemaaan, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 15:56 (four years ago)

    'Zero sugar' doesn't sound fun to me... it'll probably have aspartame or something gross like that.

    ― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 16:40 (four years ago)

    Those look excellent

    ― calstars, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 16:41 (four years ago)

    two weeks pass...

    Yes buuuuuut have you had this Mountain Dew

    https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.onecms.io%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F20%2F2021%2F08%2F25%2Fflamin-hot-mtn-dew-2.jpg

    https://avirtuouswoman.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/The-Seven-Seals-of-Revelation.jpg

    ― Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 August 2021 15:02 (four years ago)

    I was tempted to wrack my brain in pursuit of the most disgusting mashup of various PepsiCo. products I could think of but I guarantee that PepsiCo. has already beat me to the punch somewhere along the line. I think maybe like a modified Arnold Palmer that's like half lemon Lipton and half ground up Funyuns is the only thing they have yet to try.

    ― Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 August 2021 15:18 (four years ago)

    hmm, a hot cold drink...could be interesting

    ― calstars, Friday, 27 August 2021 15:39 (four years ago)

    I'd certainly take Flaming Hot Mountain Drew over Cool Ranch Mountain Dew.

    ― MarkoP, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:07 (four years ago)

    that little demon lighting the hills on fire is not gonna fly here in the west

    ― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:15 (four years ago)

    missed opportunity in thread title, should be MOUNTAINS DEW

    ― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:19 (four years ago)

    Throw some flamin' hot cheetos in there and call it a boba

    ― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:25 (four years ago)

    A road game my old band came up with driving back from shows was to try to top each other coming up with a more one up ridiculous combination of 3 things out of truck stop/convenience store. Usually a combination of food item, drink and then wild card.

    Like I went into the Redimart and got me a Code Red Mt. Dew, a package of Ho Ho's and a bag of Spicy Corn Nuts.

    One might reply with - I went into the Love's truck stop and got me a hot pickle in a bag, a pack of Cinnamon Dentyne and a King Cobra Malt Liquor.

    Fun for the whole family or doom band roadtrip...

    ― earlnash, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:28 (four years ago)

    one year passes...

    i've preemptively named every mountain dew-based cocktail. please note I've only made like 3 of these combinations pic.twitter.com/GbaGQ8novD

    — Jack Grimes (@Jackapedia_) September 19, 2022

    ― mookieproof, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 04:18 (three years ago)

    Need tombot to have all the mountain dews cocktails and report back

    ― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 21 September 2022 04:22 (three years ago)

    “Deaths Dynamic Grog “
    DDS going mainstream huh

    ― calstars, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 05:15 (three years ago)

    I've never made a Mtn Dew based cocktail, but recently tried a Gatorade Gimlet and it was pretty darn good

    ― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 16:30 (three years ago)

    not sure how it escaped comment, but the so-called Hard Mountain Dew not only has no sugar, it also has zero caffeine
    a couple of them accurately present a MD-like flavor, the rest totally miss

    ― mh, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 16:35 (three years ago)

    two months pass...

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FiLfn2bWIAAwitX?format=jpg&name=small

    ― mookieproof, Friday, 2 December 2022 10:32 (three years ago)

    the cursed images thread is leaking (a brown viscous fruitcake-scented fluid)

    ― abyssalbussy (cat), Friday, 2 December 2022 19:14 (three years ago)

    three months pass...

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FqljLj1acAEAxBC.jpg:small

    ― mookieproof, Tuesday, 7 March 2023 03:53 (two years ago)

    ooft

    ― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 7 March 2023 08:50 (two years ago)

    Hmmm, what is this. Summertime packaging, making the logo look like a beachball? Maybe it's iced tea-flavored Pepsi? Not my thing, but ...

    Wait. Easter's coming up. Nooooooo, it can't --- nooooooo.

    ― pplains, Tuesday, 7 March 2023 14:56 (two years ago)

    your post says oh no but your tummy says, actually it says oh no too

    ― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 7 March 2023 15:18 (two years ago)

    i shant be trying that one but in my mind it is sickly sweet even moreso than pepsi already is

    ― ciderpress, Tuesday, 7 March 2023 15:52 (two years ago)

    Peeps essence

    ― calstars, Tuesday, 7 March 2023 16:28 (two years ago)

    I'd rather eat a Pepsi marshmallow than whatever that is.

    ― pplains, Tuesday, 7 March 2023 16:28 (two years ago)

    https://i.redd.it/uo5zl5w69mc81.jpg

    ― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 7 March 2023 18:16 (two years ago)

    they needed to call this peepsi and i am furious that they did not

    ― the royal y'all (cat), Thursday, 9 March 2023 06:33 (two years ago)

    i kinda want to try the fruit cake one

    ― The field divisions are fastened with felicitations. (Deflatormouse), Thursday, 9 March 2023 06:37 (two years ago)

    dew + rum + citron, top it off with a candied cherry, watch as your pancreas busts out of your gut and tumbles gibbering into the night 🍹

    ― the royal y'all (cat), Thursday, 9 March 2023 06:47 (two years ago)

    i like the cut of your jib

    ― mookieproof, Thursday, 9 March 2023 06:58 (two years ago)

    -bering pancreas <3

    ― the royal y'all (cat), Thursday, 9 March 2023 07:06 (two years ago)

    four months pass...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncgVwgV4KQw

    ― johnny crunch, Thursday, 20 July 2023 23:10 (two years ago)

    That guy’s poor heart

    ― calstars, Thursday, 20 July 2023 23:43 (two years ago)

    heroic

    i'd be more impressed if he'd smooth-poured the dews so they were still fizzy tho

    ― mookieproof, Friday, 21 July 2023 00:52 (two years ago)

    one year passes...

    *bump*

    ― Thrapple from the Apple (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 22 July 2024 20:47 (one year ago)

    will we accept Mtn Dew Kickstart as a Dew? I've had most of those. The orange one reminds me of Minute Maid Orange soda (rip) and the pineapple one has real pineapple juice

    ― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Monday, 22 July 2024 20:51 (one year ago)


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