UK Office Watercooler Conversation

The best thing about it was the handheld BAT DETECTORS we had to use to spot the bats as it was dark out. (Well, when we were out of sight of the giant glowing space jellyfish that is Canary Wharf. What *is* that place? It frightens me.) These look a bit like MXR pedals with a knob for volume and a knob for frequency - as most bat conversation and echolocation is out of the range of human hearing.

BATS SOUND LIKE AUTECHRE!!! Honestly, they made the coolest semi-rhythmic wet smacking squelching drum-machine-under-duress sounds ever.

Other than that, rain delayed most of my weekend. My beautiful roses got smashed to pieces. :-(

I agree, it's time for my first cup of coffee. Mmmm, mochaccino.

It's all very depressing but didn't stop me going out on Saturday night. Still, burned out cars in my town centre (ballyclare). Bad old days, here we come. And to think I was feeling great about NI and how far we'd come after Wednesday night. Thanks you scumbags.

Apart from that, I'm still doing admin temping with very little to do.

Blimey, Crackity, were you anywhere near any of it? I feel kind of shocked about it all - but hoping it's rather more of a last gasp than kicking off again.

I went to a gig on Saturday night. Brakes - who I had been avoiding because HE BROKE MY BANDMATE'S LEG!!! - but they turned out to be actually very good live. And I managed to have an entire conversation with Eamon without calling him a LEG-BREAKING FREAK!!!!

They did a JAMC cover which made me very happy. And kind of made up for the rest of the evening being so shit - the Windmill was very crowded because of the rain and full of tossers, grrrr.

Weekend - I met up with a couple of girls I haven't seen for a while. I didn't expect to meet up with their own group of parallel internet mentalists. One of them was AN DETECTIVE - the previous week she'd received a report of harassment from a woman who caimed her neighbours had been training their cats to spy on her. I like these people.

she'd received a report of harassment from a woman who caimed her neighbours had been training their cats to spy on her.

BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!! Maybe they customised their BAT DETECTORS to be CAT DETECTORS!!! Purring = Echolocation for cats.

I want more on the CAT DETECTORS, myself. Hrmmm. I wonder what would happen if you used a Bat Detector on a cat? I bet the purring would sound amazing. I mean, crickets sound like drum n bass through a bat Detector.

Luminiferous Aether - It doesn't seem like a last gasp to me. The atnmosphere in the estates seems to be pretty poisonous. While most of us over here are happily getting on with peace and relative prosperity, putting the last 35 years well and truly behind us, there is a portion of society that isn't interested. I won't try analysing the loyalist working class because I'm too detached from it (though there is some of that on the BBC site if you're interested), but there seems to be a hell of a lot of frustration and hatred about.

I didn't see anything first hand but most of what happened was in a 15 mile radius from where I live, and like I say I saw the aftermath in Ballyclare. Most of it was in estates in the depths of north and west Belfast but by no means all. There were quite a few hijackings as well, including of buses, which is really disturbing.

Perhaps the most shocking thing is the Orange Order's response to Sir Hugh Orde's (Chief Constable) absolutely reasonable statement that they should take some responsibility for what happened -

"While the Orange Order has noted the Chief Constable's intemperate, inflammatory and inaccurate remarks, we have decided to take a more responsible line and will not be drawn into a similar knee-jerk reaction, it said.

"At this stage, all we would say is that if what we saw today was policing, it was policing at its worst."

I hope they've lost what little credibility they had left after this. They are no better than paramilitaries.

In far more trivial matters, I've just had to try and reverse all the damage I did last week when I was drafted in to do the accounts now that that everyone is back. Sigh.

um, what did i do at the weekend: i went to fabric, danced, stayed up all night, walked from king's x to leicester square with anna the next day and had horrible overexpensive dim sum while being looked at askance by other diners who weren't in the previous night's raving gear and who weren't having to concentrate as hard as us on the act of being alive. then we went to the pub for a while, then another pub, then i ended up in kilburn that night, then i watched pop videos and did some writing on sunday morning, then i helped to sub plan b, then i came home and got a severe case of the shakes which could only be countered by blasting the most banging electro i could find at top volume and jumping around my room.

at some point i lost my flatmate and he's still not back yet!

Saturday my girlfriend dragged me out of bed to go to a pub in Balham where we literally drank ALL DAY but somehow didn't get close to drunk. Very strange, all I got was a throbbing headache.

Terrible news about Northern Ireland. My grandmother lives in Bangor and I do hope she's alright.

on saturday i ordered new phat pickups. the stock ones feed back (screamy style) way too much and were pretty weak. i am p1mp1ng my jag, yo. bodykit next. like a tail or something.

I like Jaguars, I always have. But when it came down to it, I just think that the Jazzmaster looked so much sexier with its big pickups. Yes, I have spent the night with it in bed next to me, why do you ask?

Greg: I couldn't stop sneezing either all weekend, but it seems to have cleared up a bit now.

i stayed in all weekend like the boring trump i am. i need the detox tho and for once i feel great on a first day back at work.

i have the house to myself this week so nude ironing will be on the cards tonight.

(Bear in mind, I don't like being nude.)

*hides*

And here Kate began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cat detectors detect bats? Do cat detectors detect bats?' and sometimes, `Do bat detectors detect cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it.

I'm feeling very sleepy as a matter of fact. Perhaps I will nod off at the computer and dream of falling down a very very long bus ride and wake up in a strange world made all of glass and water where people detect bats with cat detectors.

Also, I'm suddenly realising precisely WHY Access is such a shit program. Argh.

I'm pissed off cos I signed up to go to digital print world (yeah I know) and I'm not going to be able to go. Because it's on during working hours. It only needs to be open a couple of hours later on one of its days for the people who don't actually work for someone who lets them go to irrelevant expos. It's probably for the best – it'll just be a bunch of people trying to sell desktop printers, I guess...

http://www.casa.gov.au/airsafe/trip/images/brace_b2.gif

http://www.banderasnews.com/howto/images/air-3.jpg

xxxpost

Beanz: looking through the photos again, there's only one with someone who I think you've mentioned you knew on, actually, but I can scan and send if you like, when I get chance.

(most of them are of ruined buildings, not people)

Ruined buildings being subjected to archaeological investigation or post-Cowgate fire?

ACtually, I've no idea why my colleague has a mini cricket bat but it is the source of much mirth.

Kate + computer + cricket bat = don't go anywhere near her :)

The weirdest things in my office are my colleagues (roffle)

Ah, never mind. I think I'll just go home. Or maybe wander around London feeling confused and lost.

I'm getting sick of my therapy already. I'm getting sick of endless questions and evaluations. I'm sick of more surveys and tests. I suppose it's good that they are being so thorough before they start treatment, but I'm really feeling like I'm being put through the ringer. Sigh.

Have a headache today and it won't go away. Bah. Trying to make up my mind whether to go to Brighton for the weekend or just for the day. Not sure I can afford the former but getting out of London is so nice.

Oh kate - way to go btw! ;-)

Life is kind of rubbish - I have to move. :-(

I wonder if he's coming to Emsk's party next week. His brother's girlfriend lives in the same house as the party (this is how he ended up on the walk) so I'm wondering if I should drop him a short email asking him if he's coming to the party, or inviting him if he doesn't know about it. But I'm a bit nervous about doing so since he didn't answer my second email.

Maybe I should try to pass the message on through his brother or through his brother's girlfriend (this is the French Disco girl, actually, so I know her well enough to ask her to pass on the invite though I don't know his brother well enough) instead. But I don't want to get my (and his) whole social scene involved in the potential seduction.

ha ha ha, we just had the biggest laugh in my office. The manager from upstairs has this weird... fantasy, since he found out I was in a band, that I'm some super rock'n'roll chick who dresses in leather and rides motorcycles like Lita Ford. And he's always going on about this, every time he sees me.

So finally I said "look, would you like to see a picture of my band?" and showed him that one where I'm all dressed up in tweed and the girls are wearing ballgowns - and it SHATTERED HIS ILLUSIONS!!! It was very very funny.

UK Watercooler 2: Electric Boogaloo