Chicago 16

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

http://cover6.cduniverse.com/MuzeAudioArt/080/89807.jpg

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Jaymc, Do you like your ladies in menswear? More along the lines of retro sock garters? ha ha

I don't even know what that means.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

amanda, i'm going to go with the butt biting. but i suspect it might be something else.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

I want to know more about butt biting.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

which of the following 4 sex tips is NOT from c-o-s-m-o:
1. "give your guy oral when he's on all fours"

I don't quite understand the mechanics of this.

(an auspicious start to a new thread, I know)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

come on now -- i'm reposting this:

which of the following 4 sex tips is NOT from c-o-s-m-o:
1. "give your guy oral when he's on all fours"
2. "write his name on your panties"
3. "wear a cowboy hat"
4. "bite him all over his butt"

note: i have the article RIGHT in front of me (don't ask why)

ps -- it's NOT THE BUTT BITING

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

RE: ass pants - They are slutty. Way slutty. So slutty that they shouldn't be sold to 13 year olds. This is probably why they're so damn hard to ignore. I can't say why I find them hot, since nearly every feminist-leaning bit of my being is screaming at me not to.

But seriously, they're hott.

xpost: name on panties

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

Mama D1gd0wn's has thongs, btw.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

no one is right yet -- "butt biting" and "his name, your panties" are both REALLY in cosmo

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

cowboy hat?!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

So they really wrote #1?

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

(I suppose that would be a weird one for you to make up)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

it has to be the cowboy hat!!!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

is it sexier to have a woman wearing something particularly sexy, or having a woman perform a feat of alchemy by having something that isn't innately sexy (i.e., a hunting cap) transform itself into something sexy by virtue of the occasion and the charm and air of the woman herself?

I'm going to go with the LATTER.

I'm hating myself for all the implications of me finding the ass-words sexy but not garter belts. But seriously, belts and stockings and heels and jewelry and all that just seem so complicated and stupid.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

it's the cowboy hat. that one was not real. the rest are real.

full text of #1: "Give your guy oral when he's on all fours. It's a totally different sensation than when his penis points up."

dear LORD.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

If I were a girl I'd be afeared of getting fallen on giving head that way. You know, sometimes it makes a dude get all weak in the knees.

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, it sounds pretty interesting to me.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Well, yeah, me too.

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

My personal favorite: "Massage him...with your boobs."

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

Nothing says "sexy" like gravity.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

this magazine is too much funny. this article was faxed to me AT WORK.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

Boob massage sounds nice and all, but it might take longer to get those knots out.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

Maybe that's the point. Maximize the boob-to-skin contact time.

"Could you come massage my palms a little more?"

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

i've totally given oral to a guy on all fours. it's harder to um, work it. i guess.
i reckon i'll regret this post.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

man, there's something about boob massage just strikes me as hilarious. boobs having the wherewithal to actually DO something other than just hang there? those are some genius boobs.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

No tenure for Kelsey!

― Eazy (Eazy), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

kelsey, we'll post enough that your post will be history by monday morning at the latest. doncha worry.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

i knew this girl who would always give bj's & rub her boobs all over the guy. titty fuck, i think it's called? regardless, that just seems so freakin' humpy to me.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Yup. Never to be President of these United States, either. You may as well just admit you've smoked weed and all that other shit now, too.

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Until your second husband Googles you in 20 years and needs a belt of whiskey afterwards.

― Eazy (Eazy), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

(assuming you have)

xpost

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

that's the second time i've lost my shot at tenure!!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

i've smoked weed. jesus. WHAT DON'T YOU KNOW ALREADY!!!!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Actually, a woman in a hunting cap would look really cute, the more I think about it.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Does it count if the dude is not on all fours, but merely two? I think the position is the same.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

I thought maybe there was a Marcel Dzama illustration with a hunting-capped woman, but all I could find was these nurses:

http://www.thimble.ca/wp-images/posts/dzama2.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

jaymc is all about the gender bend/androgynous thing.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Main Entry: humpy
Pronunciation: 'h&m-pE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): hump·i·er; -est
1 : full of humps
2 : covered with humps

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

You don't know the half of it, Jaymc. The best burlesque show I've ever seen involved a gal in a hunting outfit (at a legit show at Martyrs, not the Admiral or anything), including a cap with floppy ears.

― Eazy (Eazy), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I was thinking floppy ears. So hot.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

It's up there with a Postal Worker outfit.

― Eazy (Eazy), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

John, I was posting in response to this:
Whatever. Womeny type things in general aren't really my style.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

hahahahahahahahaha!!!! xpost to jordan

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

how about this:

http://www.katielyman.com/images/345_Alexis2_KatieLyman.jpg

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Here are men's sock garters:
http://www.sockmansocks.com/index.10.jpg
They used to be worn all the time by men in professional environs.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

I think it ought to be blaze orange, though. xpost

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

(xp) Oh, I know, Sarah. I just have no idea what "retro sock garters" means.

...

Okay, I see.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

Later, dudes.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

bye.

that hunting cap looks ridiculous.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, it doesn't quite work for me as much as I'd hoped.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 1104 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Maybe because you're not an asshole meathead?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

eep. that means i am, then.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

oh well, FUCK THAT BITCH.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

WHAT TIME IS THE PARTY?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

THE ONE THAT I PROBABLY WON'T BE COMING TO?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

I'm fine with getting drunk tonight, but also it's rainy and cold (I'm guessing) and sleeeeepy outside. I would rather get drunk on the couch.

But first, I'm cleaning house too! And I'm excited about it too! (well, mostly excited about it being done)

Nick is less enthused.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Sign that I like to over think things: I'm reading this book now.

x; I think the hopleaf reading series thing starts at 7:30. I will not be attending.

Wait, maybe I will if everyone is going.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

I prefer a less personal stance:

FUCK BITCHES.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

John, If you're feeling left out, we can have a fight and then have a relationship talk. But only if in the end you say you were sorry and it was all your fault no matter what. Sound fuuuuuunnnn?

Is it winter yet? I want to drink hot toddies.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

I really can't come out tonight. If I did, there would be SERIOUS DRAMA.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Which just means that I am going to smuggle booze into Colin's parents' basement despite the fact that THE HOUSE IS DRY.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

Oh I didn't realize it was the reading thing. Nevermind. Reading is for losers.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

John are you mad at me now?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

http://www.rockdetector.com/assets/img/covers/31152.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Uh oh, silent treatment.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

No, I'm not mad at you, Nick. I just worried that the thread revive would add fuel to the fire, and I resented Dan's "best thread revival ever" remark.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

I just assumed he was talking about my awesome Kool-Aid Man picture.

ihttp://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/rage/images/050401/koolaidman.jpg

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

The other thing about that original tissp! thread is a certain subtext that the majority of the people reading it aren't getting.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

I didn't read the thread. READING IS FOR LOSERS, HELLO!

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Actually, forget I said that.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

http://static.flickr.com/27/47497837_4b2b2a9b78_m.jpg

i wish i could grow a moustache.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

Dude, nice beard. I think I like the chinstrap better than the combo, actually.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

hey jaymc, i just now read the 'broken' thread but i have to find i agree with your sentiments.

but yeah, it's not like i've ever succeeded at relationships so what do i know.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I mean, neither have I -- so that just makes me feel like more of a schmuck, like I need to change my attitude to become more detached or hardened or something if I do want a happy, workable relationship.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

i nearly posted a paragraph bemoaning people's relationships but i figure maybe i should just either e-mail that to you privately or keep it to myself as it's going to offend some couples reading!!

but yeah, what you said

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

I'd be kinda interested in that, Mandee! Relationships can be crazy. I have thoughts about this stuff, but not the time to write them down.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, e-mail me!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I just e-mailed you.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

okay I wrote you back!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

THIS IS JENNY:

Man, if you awesome people come to the Hop Leaf I'm really not going to want to go to see those bands and I am going to get a bad (but deserved) rep as a real flat-leaver! But you should totally go anyway because that would be fun. The end.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:56 (twenty years ago)

I'm wet.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

Flat-leaver?!

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 22:01 (twenty years ago)

Someone who leaves you flat, maybe?

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

Jenny again - It's Jesse's word for some one who says he or she will do something with you and then bails, usually at the last minute and with a lame explaination, such as "It was raining and I didn't feel like going out" or "I accidentally got drunk with some other friends and couldn't find the El station." Some one who, in other words, leaves you flat, yes. I thought it was a neat term so I stoled it.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah. I'm totally one of those.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

This is Jeff.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 23:18 (twenty years ago)

And now the sun is rising over the high-rises...

― Eazy (Eazy), Thursday, 29 September 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

Good morning. I like this chilly weather today. I busted out my fancy brown sweater. ooh la la.

John, Why aren't you talking to me? We need to have a talk.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

I was joking. ;-) I'm sad you can't come over Friday night.

Why is it only Thursday??

I'm really enjoying going to the gym. It makes me happy.
Kelsey, do you use weight machines or free weights when you work out?

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

Chicago is cold and wet, but its cab drvers are very charming. The guy who drove me to the Riviera last night apparently used to play with Duke Ellington!j

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

Awesome.

When Nick's sister was visiting she said, "It's so weird! In Chicago, people look at you when you walk past them!" She's from New York.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

Can I just say that THERE ARE NO DEFINITE RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP AND ANYONE WHO SAYS THE OPPOSITE IS FOOLING THEMSELVES and we can leave it at that?

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Also: THE GYM IS FUN.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

i'm home sick today! ha! how about that! take that, employers!
take THAT, people who give me money in exchange for work!

you guys are gonna have to live without my indispensible wit and wisdom today, because i'm gonna hang outside in the chilly fall air and maybe go eat at a diner with our friend who is home visiting from paris.

I LOVE NOT BEING AT WORK!

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

That sounds so fun, Amanda! (but how sick are you today? I guess not must-stay-in-bed-all-day sick?)

I love the gym too.

Also, every relationship I've been in was completely different from the last (though I have always tended to go for shorter guys with dark hair, but that has nothing to do with anything). Also, people chaaaaannnnggeeee, feeeelingggsss chaaannngggeee, so even just one relationship can go through lots of mutations and become something a lot different which needs to be handled differently. AMEN.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

I think the gym is good for relationships, because it shows you that you can make your own addrenaline and endorphins, and whatever you get from the other person is gravy on top of that.

― Eazy (Eazy), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

I don't like gravy. It's not vegetarian.

I'm excited about Thanksgiving. I get to go to Virginia then and see my dad's new-to-him house (it's from the Georgian Revival period or somesuch) and eat sweet potato casserole.

Also, who is throwing a Halloween party?

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

I think the gym is good for relationships because it builds self-esteem, increases seratonin, builds stamina, and makes your sex life awesome.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

Chicago 17

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

Also, you get to listen to lots of great music on your ipod, including lots of silly stuff you would probably be embarassed to admit to listening to - like when Van Halen's Jump came on while I was on the eliptical machine.

― Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.