People Who Don't Try To Win Arguments Fairly

This is not actually true.

Truth be told, certain topics do bring up emotions that severely hamper one's ability to logically unpack things and present them cogently. Xpost, nabisco

b) they're not claiming stupidity, they're simply unwilling to be snowed over by your supposed superior understanding which they are unfamiliar with and proves nothing to them, since often "superior understanding" is misunderstanding combined with overconfident bullheadedness.

c) a combination of a and b.

This question sounds distubingly like me when I was 15 and was idiotically keen on arguing stuff out to some imaginary point where your logic WINS, on the level of PURE MATH, and the other person is forced to either admit that you're right or admit insanity in still holding the other position. [Insert joke about still being 15 / Momus / etc.] That's a very big waste of time, and highly annoying to other people.

In fact, all three of those things listed seem like reactions to an annoying argument opponent. (a) = god damn you're irritating, there's no point in arguing with you anyway. (b) = you're raving about something and not making sense, so I can't do much but restate my opinion and move on. (c) = you're a big jerk and you're more interested in logical swordfighting than actually listening and having a conversation about how this issue has affected my life.

Best responses to all of these things: (a) appreciate that someone spent time talking something over with you, even though you won't change their mind; (b) try to actually talk in terms that the other person will understand; and (c) listen to the person's story and be thankful that someone is offering you valuable information about how the issue in question can affect people in practice.

Grrrr.

Most arguments I have started in my life end up being about economics, and I have lost every one, because as soon as someone hits me with maths or starts producing fancy graphs my brain collapses and I have to surrender. I perservere though.

My memory also doesn't seem to work in a way where I can instantly command every fact I've ever read, so I'm a lot better having arguments on the internet where I can googlecheck things.

I hate to be the first person to bring gender into this, but it seems to be often said that girls are bad at arguing, or dislike arguing about ideas. I have never really argued with a girl, things seem to turn into more of a discussion where we both admit we don't really know the answer. Whereas with (some, not all) men, it seems that any discussion becomes an argument which must be won or lost. I get incredibly frustrated that men who I argue with perceive my less-confrontational argument preference as weakness. I also get frustrated with girls, who can see any attempt by me to try and persuade them of my point as a personal attack. Anyway, I dislike making these kind of generalisations and will stop now.

Even if Ape's initial responses are sarcastic, I have to point out that the other person "giving up" doesn't necessarily mean winning. Winning would entail getting the other person to agree with your position.

And, frankly, I probably lost every "argument" I had with my (female) ex. Because I'm a man, and, as women know, men are always wrong.