Bears eat monkey, visitors shocked

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http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/05/16/bear.monkey.ap/index.html

― Dan (No Zoo For My Kids) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

That's what happens when you legalize pot.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

The park said it plans now to move the macaques to another part of the park.

You'd think.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

The park said it plans now to dip the macaques in cornmeal batter and sprinkle them with hot sauce.

― Dan (Them Bears Is Onto Sumthin) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

That sounds delicious.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Cutest attack EVAH!

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2006/WORLD/europe/05/16/bear.monkey.ap/vstory.bear.ap.jpg

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know, monkeys seem like they wouldn't be that tasty. At least not cooked.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha - true! if only the monkey looked less, y'know, fleshy and more fuzzy. geez, monkey, good one. oh, feel bad now.
xpost - i bet the bear was okay with it. the thrill of the hunt adds flavour.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

Slightly less cute, somehow:

http://a.abcnews.com/images/International/f64dde85-6a94-4fed-9429-fd7b8cda563e_sp.jpeg

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

"somehow"

in a way, i'm okay with this b/c: zoos have wild animals in them!

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

Watch out koalas!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

A pelican got moved out of St James's Park in London a little while back because it kept scaring tourists by eating pigeons.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

Big deal. Let me know when a monkey eats a bear. Now THAT would be news.

― Warlock Magazine (Warlock Magazine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

They should re-write the journalism textbooks: "bear eats monkey isn't news; monkey eats bear is."

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.yosemite.org/naturenotes/images/BearTree.JPG
"'Koalas' you say?"

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

http://a.abcnews.com/images/International/f64dde85-6a94-4fed-9429-fd7b8cda563e_sp.jpeg

WOE.

― Jimmy Mod is a super idol of The MARS SPIRIT (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

ROFFLES!

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

holy shit! i hate monkeys.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

I can't believe a monkey couldn't outrun a bear. Why did it just sit there?

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe it had read that playing dead will cause a bear to lose interest.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

"Why did it just sit there? "

If Disney has taught me anything, it's that the bear probably donned a banana skin skirt and a coconut shell and pretended to be a chimp in order to get close enough to strike.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

it mistook the bear for the zoo employees dressed in bear costumes for their late-night furry antics

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

Happier times:

http://www.rabisco.com.br/10/imagens/disney3.jpg

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

When it comes to monkeys, sunny successor is my nemesis.

Have at you!

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:21 (nineteen years ago)

horse tramples monkey bear eats monkey cat pounces monkey snake bites monkey fish doesnt know what a monkey is. so fucking screechy.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:24 (nineteen years ago)

Dude, you do not want to fuck with a koala.

― Eppy (Eppy), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

why?

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

They are mean drunks.

― Eppy (Eppy), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:38 (nineteen years ago)

Bears are funny.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

Monkeys are helpful

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

[i]I can't believe a monkey couldn't outrun a bear. [/i]

A [i]sloth[/i] bear, at that.

― brittle-lemon (brittle-lemon), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

Argh.

― brittle-lemon (brittle-lemon), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

What they didn't show in the loop of the chimp washing the cat is that the chimp proceeded to swallow the cat whole.

― Dan (Successful Racoon Impression) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

The monkey was called Scruffy, she was old and blind in one eye. The bears had driven her into the cold water, so she was a little drowsy.

WMV link (8 Mb, 2+ minutes) to the news item about this on Dutch (regional) TV, includes a couple more cell phone pictures. (and a (Dutch) interview with the zoo manager and the eye witness who took the pics) (rather useless if you don't speak Dutch, I guess)

If the link doesn't work, try this and click either smalband or breedband for the smallband or broadband popup.

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

"Scruffy"!

― Dan (More Like "Brunch") Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

BEER EET AAP!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

I was like, damn, who's going to polish my cat and feed my bear? Honest, hard working monkeys. That's who.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder why that species is called Bear Macaque.

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

I like the guy proclaiming something like "so sad but that's NATURE!" while the camera pans across a thoroughly depressing dump of wire fence, puddles, and cement drainage culverts.

You may correct my understanding of interviewee's comments.

Is Dutch considered difficult? Because I couldn't hardly pick out recognizable consonants. I heard "Scroofy" once.

― Hunter, Age 3 (Hunter), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder why that species is called Bear Macaque.

"Macaque" is French for "appetizer".

― Dan (Num Num) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

Dan, it's true.

http://www.orangutan.org/slideshow/Cs%20and%20cat.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

I like the guy proclaiming something like "so sad but that's NATURE!" while the camera pans across a thoroughly depressing dump of wire fence, puddles, and cement drainage culverts.
You may correct my understanding of interviewee's comments.

Is Dutch considered difficult? Because I couldn't hardly pick out recognizable consonants. I heard "Scroofy" once.

No, that's very well done for a three year old. :-)

The Dutch (from the Netherlands) don't pronounce Dutch as precisely as you'd expect (the Flemish, from Belgium, do that a bit more - e.g. the Dutch pronounce a word like "vrachtvervoer" more like "fwachfefoe" while you can hear V's and R's when someone from Flanders says it), so the fact that you understood so much is quite impressive.

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

The man behind the man behind the bear, fifty years ago:

http://www.churchman.org/Pictures/tn_ross_ruby_kids.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:32 (nineteen years ago)

"My KNEECAP!"

― Dan (*Cue Laughtrack*) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

OK you people have gone too far with your photos of monkeys chewing on orange kittens. FUCK you.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

i've been thinking about this and i don't even like monkeys very much and i think nature is a fine thing that does what it does however complicated this argument has become b/c of People, but this thread is still depressing me, esp since reading about the feebleness of the monkey. Conclusion: I don't like zoos?

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:42 (nineteen years ago)

OK you people have gone too far with your photos of monkeys chewing on orange kittens. FUCK you.
-- Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyza...) (webmail), Today 1:36 PM. (allyzay) (later)

THANK YOU

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

dont get why this thread is funny

― and what (ooo), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

not that im offended or anything, its just like... what

― and what (ooo), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.cs.technion.ac.il/~eraneden/Battle%20between%20monkey%20and%20cow.htm

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 23 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

http://press.comedycentral.com/images/press/gallery/l/dailyshow/StephenColbert_ScreenGrab.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

"Human eats pig, cow, chicken, turkey, lamb, trout, ostrich, aligator, dog - vegans shocked"

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 22:23 (nineteen years ago)

WHATS THE DEAL WITH THOSE OLD ROYAL PAINTING OF MONKEYS WITH CATS? I CANT FIND ONE RIGHT NOW BUT GO TO MY MYSPACE PAGE AND LOOK AT THE PIC FOR THE SONG SAUCE BOSS AND YOULL SEE WHAT I MEAN AND PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IT MEANS

― city of gyros (chaki), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 22:55 (nineteen years ago)

bears eat visitors, monkey shocked

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 22:57 (nineteen years ago)

http://saru-san.com/2006/cat-n-yawnmonkey.jpg

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 23:14 (nineteen years ago)

Dan OTM about why this is funny/tragic. Tragedy and humor aren't mutually exclusive, although often it's easy to think they are.. but in this instance, the intersection is pretty obvious.

Had this been any other type of bear, it wouldn't have been nearly as humorous, but but... SLOTH bears! And an aged, handicapped macaque!

I mean, it ceases to be funny once one puts him/herself in the pov of the aging macaque obviously.

I thought the exploded anaconda that tried to eat the alligator was hilarious too, even though that was just as tragic as well.

― DOQQUN (donut), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 23:23 (nineteen years ago)

Hahaha I forgot about that damn anaconda. What was HE thinking? Damn.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 23:58 (nineteen years ago)

I can't find a screenshot of that simpsons zoo episode where the koalas are munching on a freshly killed antelope. Durn.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 01:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://drivingsocrates.com/wp-content/monkeystealsthecat.jpg

OMG!

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 01:38 (nineteen years ago)

The photos are priceless. Thank you. Next time DH suggests "let's go to the zoo," I'm totally saying yes. But leaving the kids at home... (sidebar: J had a tiger jump at her at the zoo when she was about 2 - scared the heck out of her. She still remembers it almost two years later. Me, too - thus I haven't been back to the zoo since!)

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 03:42 (nineteen years ago)

SCREW THE MANDRILL!!!!!!!! HE DESERVED IT!!!!!!!!!

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 03:48 (nineteen years ago)

As always, Hanle y Deus cuts to the chase.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 03:53 (nineteen years ago)

bears spank monkey, visitors aroused

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 04:04 (nineteen years ago)

MONKEY VS TIGERS! (BABY TIGERS!)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 04:12 (nineteen years ago)

"zookeeper! Those monkeys are killing each other!"

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

haha

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

luna's last pic! look at the sex face on this monkey

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

Monkey/cat:
... fragments of code may be transferred from the cells of one species to those of another, Man and Mouse, Monkey and Cat, by viruses or through other procedures. This involves not translation between codes (viruses are not translators) but a singular phenomenon we call surplus value of code, or side-communication. We will have occasion to discuss this further, for it is essential to all becomings-animal. Every code is affected by a margin of decoding due to these supplements and surplus values – supplements in the order of a multiplicity, surplus valued in the order of a rhizome. (Deleuze and Guattari)

― S. (Sébastien Chikara), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

cats - natures little cutemachine

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 18:55 (nineteen years ago)

eat THIS, bear!

ihttp://www.whozoo.org/Intro98/shanford/MandrillMale032003_5723C.JPG

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 May 2006 01:37 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/animalbytes/images/mandrill_inset_rear.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 May 2006 01:37 (nineteen years ago)

Hahaha I forgot about that damn anaconda. What was HE thinking? Damn.

he was probably thinking, "DAMN, i'm hungry!!"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 May 2006 01:43 (nineteen years ago)

also, i may have been the only one but this story reminded me of THIS other story from 2004 as detailed in this thread --> While we're talking about fundamentalist wackos, this guy yelled "JESUS WILL SAVE YOU" at a lion

http://images.ibsys.com/2004/1103/3887892.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 May 2006 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

I cannot express my dislike of the mandrill ehough, and if that is a madrill butt, I am sorry to have seen it. I will not be made submissive to him!

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 18 May 2006 02:47 (nineteen years ago)

(many days and posts too late and lame anyway)

Why would they be shocked? Did the bears use the wrong fork?

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Thursday, 18 May 2006 02:49 (nineteen years ago)

Or possibly:

That's no Sloth Bear! That's a Wrath Bear crossed with a Gluttony Bear!

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Thursday, 18 May 2006 02:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://drivingsocrates.com/wp-content/monkeystealsthecat.jpg http://nepom.ru/interest/img/6132-Nepom.Ru-61.jpg

― StanM (StanM), Saturday, 20 May 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

we're taking my nephew to blair drummond safari park near stirling today.

there are no monkeys there, according to the website. perhaps this is because the bears ate them all.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Sunday, 21 May 2006 07:40 (nineteen years ago)

probly th ebear got tired of getting shit thrown at it

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Sunday, 21 May 2006 08:04 (nineteen years ago)

the bears at blair drummond were asleep. one woke up when we stood by the enclosure, regarded me for a moment with a lazy eye, then went back to giving it Zs. lazy bastard bears.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Sunday, 21 May 2006 15:35 (nineteen years ago)

The famous Cat's Paw:

http://join2day.com/abc/L/landseer/landseer1.JPG

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

http://nepom.ru/interest/img/6132-Nepom.Ru-61.jpg

Wow! Cuet!!

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 22 May 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/20/bear.death.reut/index.html

Bears eat drunky. ~~Visitors shocked~~ Staff mock victim.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Monday, 20 August 2007 19:02 (eighteen years ago)

wow

― mizzell, Monday, 20 August 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

They found multiple cell phones in with the bears?!

― patita, Monday, 20 August 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

haha, the ad that displayed with the story:

http://img-cdn.mediaplex.com/0/3914/boyatfuneral_160x600.gif

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 00:24 (eighteen years ago)

"You have life insurance. But are you really covered? Will your family be protected if you're eaten by a bear?"

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 00:25 (eighteen years ago)

Do you get double indemnity if you become bear feed?

― milo z, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 00:26 (eighteen years ago)

That should teach them - beer and bear don't mix!

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 07:54 (eighteen years ago)

Or: don't mix beer and bear!

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 07:54 (eighteen years ago)

Or: Bears don't mix with beer!

(eh?)

― StanM, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 08:01 (eighteen years ago)

I cannot express my dislike of the mandrill ehough, and if that is a madrill butt, I am sorry to have seen it. I will not be made submissive to him!

-- Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 18 May 2006 02:47 (1 year ago) Link

I HATE THE MANDRILL!

Why was there so much Mandrill hatred at this time?

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 08:04 (eighteen years ago)

I laughed for about ten minutes over "Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage."

― Maria, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 15:28 (eighteen years ago)

Wait, his clothes were intact, but off? Did he strip for the bears?

― libcrypt, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 15:46 (eighteen years ago)

No more furry/yiffy theorizing!

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 15:46 (eighteen years ago)

That is a very good question though. Maybe he was trying it on with them. I mean, he was drunk enough to get in the bear cage to begin with!

― ENBB, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 15:47 (eighteen years ago)

Guys get drunk and decide to fight the zoo bears ALL THE TIME. I know of a zine that devoted an entire issue to zoo deaths.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 15:50 (eighteen years ago)

Do they usually fight bears NAKED?

― ENBB, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 15:52 (eighteen years ago)

Drunk dude - Come on, bear, let's FIGHT!

Sober bear - How do I know you ain't packing a blade in your sock or some shit? All I have is these six-inch fangs and eight inch claws, plus about 600 lbs of muscle mass on you!

DD - What if I get nakered?

SB - ...seems fair.

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 15:56 (eighteen years ago)

I don't know if this is the same cat and monkey from the pictures earlier in the thread:

http://i12.tinypic.com/682rtr4.jpg

― StanM, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

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