Big Brother 2006 (UK) Thread 5: Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere

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begin!

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

Nowhere could be somewhere if the feeling's right so come on.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 10:25 (nineteen years ago)

Surely this should be entitled;

I AM NOT! SUCKING! ARSEHOLES!

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 10:25 (nineteen years ago)

Please tell me she won't be kicked out on Friday. She is the only one worth watching.

― Ned T.Rifle (nedtrifle), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

thanks to whoever deleted the other one.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 10:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://vote.sparklit.com/poll.spark/990637

Lisa seems to be juuuust stretching away, at this early stage.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

Surely this should be entitled;
I AM NOT! SUCKING! ARSEHOLES!

-- Pete (pb1...), June 21st, 2006.

Absolutely.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

It's concentrating on something that will (or might) have more relevance after today.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

My Nikki love seem to be waning. Her tantrums are still for the most part hilarious but I'm starting to find her chipmunk/crying face annoying.

Glyn ingenue mask appears to be slipping too.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

Surely this should be entitled;
I AM NOT! SUCKING! ARSEHOLES!
-- Pete (pb1...), June 21st, 2006.

i agree too! but i wanted to chose something that wouldn't piss you off after 2 days of looking at it and would sit ok on the new answers page.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 11:47 (nineteen years ago)

A Neil Young album title is more than enough to piss me off. My drunken downstairs neighbour drags this and Harvest out when he has had too many and plays them incessantly.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 11:51 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder if Glyn's ~~goats~~ friends will support him.

― Hotman Paris Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

From the poll:

Imogen 21%
Lisa 44%
Mikey 15%
Nikki 21%

Imogen's percentage has fallen away to be level with Nikki.

Guess it's Lisa week.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

the reason this is a good title for the thread is that the show seems to be at an impasse. unless something exciting happens tonight i don't see how it can remain interesting.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

Fuck. Just missed the early 8pm edition of BB, can anyone give an update?

― Affectian (Affectian), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

i missed it too.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

Nothing much, they had a catwalk task, Pete doesn't fancy any of the girls in the house, Mikey would only consider Aisleyne out of all the girls, Glynn won't shag Nikki because he'd be scared of breaking her, no one wants to shag Glynn because he's just a kid and Lea and Aisleyne still fancy Pete. And Nikki, rightfully, hates Bono.

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 18:49 (nineteen years ago)

Okay, have we been lied to or something. This is all yesterdays stuff.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 19:50 (nineteen years ago)

we've been lied to. nothing exciting is happening. mrs fiendish thinks the two-show thing is some watershed-warping weirdness so both gordon ramsay and the housemates can swear a lot.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 19:56 (nineteen years ago)

on the Guardian TV guide:

8:30 - First of two visits to the compound to catch up with the housemates — who could be in for a surprise later in the evening

9:30 - The second visit to the house, where the group are unaware of the surprise that could be awaiting them

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 20:03 (nineteen years ago)

i'm really pissed off now

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 20:03 (nineteen years ago)

I'm glad someone has turned around the "NOWHERE" sign so that it now points towards the house. I've been itching for someone to do that since day one.

Imogen looked fine on the catwalk.

― David Orton (scarlet), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 20:05 (nineteen years ago)

i've never heard this word "oilies" before. I don't like it!

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 20:16 (nineteen years ago)

The watershed thing occured to me as well.

― chap who would dare to be a nerd, not a geek (chap), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

they've obviously pulled the "surprise" at short notice for some reason, because all the advance listings mentioned it.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

"whatever tickles your pickle" then nikki giving that crazy cheeky-nan look to Imogen - thats up there in the top 10 best moments of the series

― Affectian (Affectian), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

http://vote.sparklit.com/poll.spark/990637

Hmm, it seems no-one is voting for anyone else *but* Lisa.

You know, they'll all be crying Farewells on Friday.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 22 June 2006 06:47 (nineteen years ago)

I hope Lisa throws another beaker of water in Susie's face, and that it becomes a weekly tradition.

― David Orton (scarlet), Thursday, 22 June 2006 09:03 (nineteen years ago)

what's mikey up to with imogen then?

glen has terrible, terrible, and weird ideas about women.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Thursday, 22 June 2006 09:08 (nineteen years ago)

mikey and imogen are a bit touchy feeley, i don't know if anything is going to happen though.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 22 June 2006 09:12 (nineteen years ago)

you'll make other people think his name is glen

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 22 June 2006 09:14 (nineteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/nikki1.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/nikki2.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/nikki5.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/nikki3.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iISqeyt1ih4

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 22 June 2006 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

this made me LOL too. i could watch her all day.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 22 June 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

this made me LOL too. i could watch her all day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfQGH3M7eoQ

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 22 June 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

i can't watch her at all, it's embarrassing. i've pretty much given up on BB this year - nobody is remotely likeable. a real shame, i've enjoyed every other series (except 4, which i totally missed). i just don't enjoy watching the show when i don't actually like ANY of them.

― teh_kit has 21 friends (g-kit), Thursday, 22 June 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

better than last year.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Thursday, 22 June 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

nah, last year was ok. not the best, not the worst, but the LOLs far outweighed the GNNNGHs. this year's is far more annoying than entertaining to me.

― teh_kit has 21 friends (g-kit), Thursday, 22 June 2006 11:54 (nineteen years ago)

this whole marching task thing going on is teh dullest

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 22 June 2006 11:58 (nineteen years ago)

i thnk it's much better. last year was pretty awful apart from the craig/anthony saga which was incredible. having said that the show has reached an impasse and i'm not sure if it's because of the format becoming overfamiliar or the people on the show. i still watch it every night though.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:02 (nineteen years ago)

ashlene keeps saying "off the shizzle". is that even a phrase? "off the hizzle" yes. but "off the shit"? what?

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:12 (nineteen years ago)

fo' shizzle

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:17 (nineteen years ago)

My intense and burning hatred of Nikki unfortunately overwhelms any entertainment factor she brings to the show. Obv it would be boring telly if all the housemates were likeable and got on, but she's just too much for me.

I'd rather Grace was still in doing her scheming and bitching, for example.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:19 (nineteen years ago)

Poo OTM. i surely don't want them ALL to be nice and everybody to get along. but a couple of people with a couple of likeable traits would go a long way.

― teh_kit has 21 friends (g-kit), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

you should apply

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

aw, that's sweet of you.

― teh_kit has 21 friends (g-kit), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:30 (nineteen years ago)

try not to forget when watching my Diary Room entries that i am a daft bastard, kids.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 22 June 2006 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

on that evidence alone, i think i'd pwn Big Brother.

― teh_kit has 21 friends (g-kit), Thursday, 22 June 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

unless RJG had my eviction number on speed dial, obv.

― teh_kit has 21 friends (g-kit), Thursday, 22 June 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

The chants of "Get kit out!" might confuse Lea into flashing her baps.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 22 June 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

Nikki and Lea are getting all upset/uptight because Pete has made friends with Aisleyne, even to the point of showing her his scars (which he declined to show Nikki, apparently).

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 22 June 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 924 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

spaghettiOs

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

enrique OTM

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

it didn't look like a rat but the fact is that they think it's one, just a cuet one? wtf?

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

I would not like mice or rats or whatever in my house and wouldn't just let them stay there but I also wouldn't smash their heads in w/ a hammer or whatever which is what makes me more on pete etc's side, than glyn/mikey/SPIRAL's

SPIRAL actually as funny, when mikey said that richard had said he'd seen rats in his flat and just let them be and from THEN he knew he was talking rubbish. and SPIRAL sez "yeh, because de truth is dey're still in his flat. dey didn't say "tanks for the food richard, we'll just fuck off now"" lololol

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

yeah that was good. i missed bb at the start of the week so haven't seen spiral being rapey.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

some boys from the cuntry like to kill rats for fun (prob glyn). even david attenborough hates rats.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 14 July 2006 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

and SPIRAL sez "yeh, because de truth is dey're still in his flat. dey didn't say "tanks for the food richard, we'll just fuck off now""

yeah, that was great...

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Friday, 14 July 2006 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

Richard: "Wouldn't it be funny if the Rat won big brother, and the rat had to choose who to give the £100,000 to, and he thought about who had been nice to it.."

Yeah, kiss a rat's ass, why not?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 July 2006 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

thanks for the link, affectian. we're going to be late getting to perth to see my folks now, because we're watching it in another window while i type :o

it's a bizarre combination of quite disturbing (the muted colours; the fact she looks v young; the sinister "director's commentary" at the start) and fucking hysterical (the music! the camera falling off the bed! the unforgettable denouement of some welsh bloke's big fucking arse going up and down!)

poor imogen, though. i bet he promised her he'd destroyed that. ach. you can't trust anyone these days.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 14 July 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

DigiSpy genius of the day:

"Replace those who vote on whims and impulses and follow Endemol's producers directives by an impartial panel who know what they're doing.
I'm fed up with BB every year being ruined by gutterpress readers who haven't a clue what they're watching."

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:07 (nineteen years ago)

Haha!

To add to upthread it was actually Sezer who first called attention to Aisleyne's patois issues. I am quite sure that considering his background - and despite his smarmy misogyny - that he would be well-placed to comment on just who is and isn't posing as a ghetteur. Aisleyne is like the girls who made my life hell at school until they inevitably became pregnoids at 15.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

oh, you

so nikki done goin after all oh well

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

OMG FUNNIEST BIG BROTHER FEW MINUTES EVER! Nikki having a live panic attack, awesome!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:27 (nineteen years ago)

So farewell then Nikki
You were delightfully mental
But in the grand scheme of things
The Great British public were clearly not ready for
A Jade Remix without the reassuring whiff
Of poverty

― More Tongue Feldman (Aged 19 3/8) (noodle vague), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:04 (nineteen years ago)

Oh no. This just got seriously interesting.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

best housemate ever.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

Like I said in threads passim, one of my best friends is a protoype Nikki but is instead a tipsy cult studs lecturer. Loving this.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

"Jayne is the most hilarious person I have ever known".

Way to win over the viewing audience Nikki!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

I fear that if Nikki had got one clue how to win over the viewing audience she would have used it by now.

― More Tongue Feldman (noodle vague), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

the british public want bloody shooting.

― michael wells (michael w.), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:21 (nineteen years ago)

i geuinely had a tear in my eye at those best bits.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

Didn't like her until tonight. Great eviction though. Hey ho.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

i feel very sorry for the crew working on the other BB shows that are going to have to look after her in the coming week or so.

― teh_kit has 22 friends (g-kit), Saturday, 15 July 2006 07:18 (nineteen years ago)

Rubbish. Worst possible result, Nikki had so much more in her. The only saving grace is that if she'd stayed in til the final we wouldn't have had a lengthy interview and a week of Nikki-based BBLB & BBBMs to look forward to.

Yeah definitely in the top three best housemates ever - along with John Tickle and Glyn.

(Grimly & Jed, email me your Paypal details and I'll send you £1. *waits for someone to reveal the margin of difference between Aisleyne and Nikki was a mere £2 worth of votes...*)

― Affectian (Affectian), Saturday, 15 July 2006 09:40 (nineteen years ago)

it's a good result for me; i can start watching BB properly again.

― teh_kit has 22 friends (g-kit), Saturday, 15 July 2006 10:18 (nineteen years ago)

did you not like her?

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 15 July 2006 10:25 (nineteen years ago)

she's adorable.

― teh_kit has 22 friends (g-kit), Saturday, 15 July 2006 10:26 (nineteen years ago)

i am still totally confused by the Nikki/Jaybe connection though. Seems totally random to me!

― teh_kit has 22 friends (g-kit), Saturday, 15 July 2006 10:29 (nineteen years ago)

jayne tells nikki what she wants to hear, ie "pete belongs to you, aisleyne is nasty boy-stealer"

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Saturday, 15 July 2006 11:55 (nineteen years ago)

Rubbish. Worst possible result, Nikki had so much more in her.

Much more of the same antics again and again and again and again and again. She's done her bit, time for someone else to get some (1..*) limelight now.

― Hotman Paris Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 15 July 2006 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

Dear evict-Nikki GBP: You. Thick. Sods.

Oh well, enjoy the Susie/Mikey/Imogen puppet show. It's what you deserve.

― David Orton (scarlet), Saturday, 15 July 2006 13:08 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah can't wait for them to ramp up the coverage of Michael - it's just what we've all been waiting for.. Maybe, if we're really lucky, they'll show more of Suzie's hi-lar-ious tea drinking escapades !

― Affectian (Affectian), Saturday, 15 July 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

The only person with any watchability left is Glyn. Same as Nikki's Tinkerbell schtick, his 'becoming a man on tv' is a one-trick pony but hey, it's a really really cute trick.

― Affectian (Affectian), Saturday, 15 July 2006 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

I think Nikki needed to leave to get away from the clutches of Jayne. There's something genuinely malevolent about that moustachioed woman.

― "C" (Holey), Saturday, 15 July 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

Well, she does work in HR.

― suzy (suzy), Saturday, 15 July 2006 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

Ian dude, there's a lot of potential in the way that removing Nikki changes the dynamic of the house. There's only one woman left that wants to fuck Pete for a start.

Aisleyne - Pete - Spiral will be very entertaining next week.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 15 July 2006 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

1) There will be no cigarettes (that's tabs for us northern folk)
2) There will be minimal food
3) there will be angst. From Jennie!

― mark grout (mark grout), Saturday, 15 July 2006 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

okay, i have to admit that even i was slightly - slightly - moved by nikki's exit/interview/best bits. but then i remembered that an aura of total helplessness and vulnerability is actually a very bad thing in a woman of 24, and that i'm not sure she should have been in there for our entertainment anyway.

i dunno. i think - and i might be alone here - that she went at the right time. i've never particularly enjoyed watching her, as i've said elsewhere, but i can understand why other people do (mrs fiendish thinks she's great); however, her schtick was starting to become seriously annoying and i think that within the next two weeks the tide would have turned and the "fun" of watching a needy, insecure and borderline insane woman lurching wildly from emotion to emotion would have turned rather sour.

but this way she'll be remembered - like tickle and jade - as one of the great winners that never was; and she gets to keep her sanity (or what there is of it) and avoid the inevitable falling-out with jayne that was bound to come. etc.

i'm still surprised she was voted out, though. i thought everybody except me and the rabid pro-aisleynites absolutely loved her. ah well.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Sunday, 16 July 2006 09:54 (nineteen years ago)

"alone here" apart from the three or four other people on this thread who said exactly the same thing ;)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Sunday, 16 July 2006 10:10 (nineteen years ago)

NIKKI: MY STORY was the headline for the Mirror, People, etc this morning...

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Sunday, 16 July 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

Jayne is hurting me.

― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Sunday, 16 July 2006 20:31 (nineteen years ago)

I find it hard to believe they haven't torn her to pieces in a cathartic act of Dionysian madness yet.

― More Tongue Feldman (noodle vague), Sunday, 16 July 2006 20:36 (nineteen years ago)

Worse still, they mostly seem to LIKE her. Boggling.

― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Sunday, 16 July 2006 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

it's mind-boggling. she's truly, truly awful. unbearable. still, i'm having a bad night and she is a useful focus for all my anger and hatred.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Sunday, 16 July 2006 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

OH SORRY I KEEP FUCKING UP AND LOOSING YOU THE PRIVILAGE OF EATING BUT I'M TRYING REALLY HARD AND HAHA LISTEN TO ME BURPING AREN'T I CHARMING AND AMUSING OH SORRY YOU'RE TRYING TO SLEEP NOW I'LL JUST BURP SOME MORE IT WILL BE EVEN FUNNIER.

― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Sunday, 16 July 2006 21:19 (nineteen years ago)

funny bit when spiral put the duvet over the bathroom door

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 16 July 2006 21:23 (nineteen years ago)

Big Brother 2006 (UK) Thread 6: Come Friendly Bombs, and Let us anticipate Jayne's eviction...
(It's a very small picture)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 17 July 2006 06:34 (nineteen years ago)

thirteen years pass...

remember how much we used to care about Big Brother? lmao! This series probably had about ten threads on its own.

The classic BB episodes on E4 atm and the "who is she?!!!" Nikki Grahame freakout episode is one of those featured. Her screaming around the garden flailing her head around.

The fight night episode from 2004 is not featured although I imagine that one would be somewhat problematic to show just now, to put it mildly.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Monday, 22 June 2020 22:57 (five years ago)

I had completely forgotten about Imogen and the american gay fella.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Monday, 22 June 2020 22:58 (five years ago)

Aisleyne! Her autobiography is my favourite celeb book ever, it is the only one I own that comes with cover recommendations from Charlie Brooker, Mike Tyson and Amy Winehouse.

I think of the first seven series so fondly. It started just as I started high school so I was the right age for watching them, ie I was home pretty much every night instead of going out and missing episodes, which is why I couldn't stick with the later seasons. Plus, everyone was watching them and talking about them, I don't really think you get that factor quite the same now.

Coming from a small working-class insular town in the west of Scotland, BB was probably the first time I was ever exposed to people of such different backgrounds and experiences. It was really useful fo me to see Brian Dowling win at an age when I was figuring out my own gayness, that even despite the Keep The Clause campaign and the fear of homophobia everywhere there was another narrative possible, one where a gay man could be liked and successful.

― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 07:10 (five years ago)

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