"honesty" in interior design

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My decorator proposed that my new cabinets be distressed. That means beating them with chains so it looks like they're old. Somebody told me this was dishonest, fake, Disneyesque. So I looked into used wood which would already be beat up. Honest, right? Except I learned that everyone in the world (it seems) is also seeking beat up old wood for its "honesty." How honest is it to bring a bunch of old railroad ties into your house, which railroad ties you had nothing to do with, and make a floor, cabinet, or table out of them? This whole thing is starting to seem nuts to me.
Discuss.

― Bnad (Bnad), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:01 (nineteen years ago)

why worry about the 'honesty' of your decor? i'd be more concerned with 'misdirected conscience'.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:03 (nineteen years ago)

The whole thing does seem pretty nuts which I think means you don't need to worry too much about honesty anymore, unless you just want to abandon the whole thing.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:05 (nineteen years ago)

My decorator proposed that my new cabinets be distressed. That means beating them with chains so it looks like they're old.

That only works with people.

― nate p. (natepatrin), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:07 (nineteen years ago)

Is all of your non-cabinet stuff (e.g., possessions, walls) old and beaten?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:07 (nineteen years ago)

I think you're confusing "people" with "zombies."

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:07 (nineteen years ago)

Do you think you could get your cabinets addicted to crystal meth?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

There's a Pastor Ted/Donald Rumsfeld joke somewhere in those last two posts but I don't want to risk another comedy trainwreck.

― nate p. (natepatrin), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:10 (nineteen years ago)

beating them with chains seems pretty hardcore and honest! i mean, esp if you do it yourself. and as long as you're not calling them "antiqued" or whatever but "distressed" then it's just an effect.

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:11 (nineteen years ago)

you kinda lost me at "My decorator"

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

Is there something shameful or passe about having cabinets that are not all fucked up?

― carbon neutral (kenan), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

YES! Oh God yes!

― Bnad (Bnad), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

We must not read the same magazines.

― carbon neutral (kenan), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

You know come to think of it, I think the main point here is that you would get to hit things with chains, and there just aren't enough legitimate opportunities to do that in your day-to-day life.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

The distressed look is so five years ago. Fire your decorator.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

polyphonic OTM. i don't do this but not because it's dishonest, just because it's ridiculous. but hey, i'm a pluralist. do what you want - it's your house.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

the concept of authenticity in art and design is so 30 years ago, fire your brain

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

I think the decorator is just afraid to tell you that your house and possessions all look like crap, so nice new cabinets are totally gonna clash.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

there really aren't enough opportunities to hit things with chains. it should be a class at the y. cardiochainlates.

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:36 (nineteen years ago)

Chainrobics.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:40 (nineteen years ago)

i don't do this but not because it's dishonest, just because it's ridiculous.

actually dishonest and ridiculous are tied in this context. dishonest suggests you are trying to deceive someone which i guess you are to an extent, but it's only home design (one of the areas i work in!) so it doesn't bother me much. i would be strongly against it in public spaces and in architecture. do what you like, as i said, but i would advise you against it. if a client asked me to do anything like this i would talk them round, if that didn't work i would refuse (unless i really needed the work!)

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.rpgclassics.com/shrines/nes/cv2/walkthrough/images/walk04-a.gif

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

Think of the children: if we don't use fresh, natural wood today, how will they ever have authentically distressed wood in the future?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 10 November 2006 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

they'll have chains, in the future

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 10 November 2006 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

I have decided to distress the cabinets by beating them with chains...
but in an ironic manner.

― Bnad (Bnad), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:24 (nineteen years ago)

"ironic beating of cabinets leads to unironic..."

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:27 (nineteen years ago)

If authenticity means that much, you can have distressed cabinetry in about 25 years.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

good investment

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:31 (nineteen years ago)

U R all cabinetists!

― nickn (nickn), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:31 (nineteen years ago)

I suggest you hit decorator with housechains. Distressed look is for Mormon housewives! Are you going to spongepaint your walls, too? SAME DEAL.

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:54 (nineteen years ago)

this is a bit off topic but it's amazing how much hideous crap there is for sale in this big blue world. every time i try to find furniture to buy i get glum. don't try to peddle me your mediocre dreams.
there was this terrible chain of stores in florida called rooms to go. (maybe they're in other states as well.) you'd get everything you needed for a room already picked out for you and sold as a set, eg glasstop dining table, gaudy chairs, shiny framed print, floor lamp, sandstone flamingo. it seemed to be mainly targeting disconsolate-looking blonde men clutching giant sodas who had come home from work to find nothing left in their apartment but a corduroy beanbag with stains on it.

― estela (estela), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:57 (nineteen years ago)

nothing wrong with glass tops. I guess depending on what's underneath.

― carbon neutral (kenan), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

I live in the mecca of Rooms to Go. I probably see half a dozen of them in different cities/suburbs on a bad day.

ps Abbott OTM.

― milo z (mlp), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:08 (nineteen years ago)

How about this: paint the cabinets in many layers of different-colored paint, and then load up a shotgun with rock salt and blast the fuck out of them. It will be nicely textured, with all the color-layers showing through in little confetti glints. Maybe.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:40 (nineteen years ago)

Sounds more fun than chains too.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:41 (nineteen years ago)

I like the method, but I fear the look it would lead to would be Early Pee Wee's Playhouse.

― carbon neutral (kenan), Saturday, 11 November 2006 00:10 (nineteen years ago)

distressed effect furniture is equivalent to vintage "look" tees.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:24 (nineteen years ago)

I like antique furniture, and I like the "distressed" look. I also like sharp lines and the "clear glass" cabinet door. I think they could come together. Take you clear glass cabinet door outside, beat it with a chain, and we can call it "post-apocalypse."*

*not safe around small children.

― carbon neutral (kenan), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:35 (nineteen years ago)

estela onto something. new interior design for today's beaten man:
- naturally distressed brown corduroy bean bag chair in an otherwise empty room, possibly carpeted, bean bag chair stained with: barf, beer, cat pee, doritos cheese powder
- one overhead light, frosted glass fixture
- sadness
- bag of chains

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

That's offensive. I lost all my furniture to women like you!

― carbon neutral (kenan), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:49 (nineteen years ago)

i kind of like bean bag chairs

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:50 (nineteen years ago)

I have a hesitant affection for them. But I feel about them like I do about unframed posters: I'm too old.

― carbon neutral (kenan), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:51 (nineteen years ago)

my new art installation:
one room, packed with bean bag chairs and every inch of wall covered in posters bought at those poster fairs they have at universities in the beginning of the year

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:55 (nineteen years ago)

klimt ahoy!

― carbon neutral (kenan), Saturday, 11 November 2006 05:57 (nineteen years ago)

first-year university students: i will personally distress with chains your reservoir dogs posters and your dalis and most of your band posters and that one of the giant wave around the lighthouse even though it is a cool photo

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Saturday, 11 November 2006 06:32 (nineteen years ago)

Unpopular in high school, but college is going to be so much better, you know? (major: literature, until a late-sophomore switch to advertising)
http://www.varometro.net/blog/images/munch.scream.jpg

Desperately misses her boyfriend going to a Division II school for football. (major: early elementary education)
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/NYG/76051.jpg

Still amazed that he doesn't live with his parents anymore. (major: computer science or something IT)
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/HPM/CM54.jpg

So not gonna happen. (major: chemistry)
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/132/074_SPIDER_MAN_X.jpg

― milo z (mlp), Saturday, 11 November 2006 06:50 (nineteen years ago)

smokes boutique cigarettes, loves Truffaut, proudly proclaims she's the slutty roommate, virgin 'til 21
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/TOP/VP820.jpg

― milo z (mlp), Saturday, 11 November 2006 06:51 (nineteen years ago)

Aside from how stupid it is as an aesthetic, doesn't this whole "beat the cabinets with chains" idea miss the fact that cabinetry is a pretty precise art? Like, if you want the cabinets to actually operate? Somehow I can't imagine they benefit much from having their every piece thrown violently out of true.

― Doctor Casino (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 11 November 2006 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

Beat the cabinet with chainstores!

― It's the lazy and immoral way to become super hip. (Austin, Still), Saturday, 11 November 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

Threads like this make me love ILE - it's like a sarcastic response generator. Every angle I could possibly think of on the original post was already covered by the time I opened the thread.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Saturday, 11 November 2006 16:28 (nineteen years ago)

This whole thing is starting to seem nuts to me.

"starting" is a nice touch. If you want honesty, fire the decorator and make your own choices, hit or miss, based on what you like and can afford.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 11 November 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

Embracing the Inauthentic

― A Giant Mechanical Ant (The Giant Mechanical Ant), Saturday, 11 November 2006 18:34 (nineteen years ago)

Someone is choosing how your home should look and you're worried about authenticity? It's an authentic choice, that.

― stet (stet), Saturday, 11 November 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

haha pwned

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 11 November 2006 22:33 (nineteen years ago)

ten months pass...

we're picking lighting fixtures. Scott likes the simple cheap kind that look like nipples
http://images.lightinguniverse.com/imagezoom/zoomProcessor.aspx?x=0&y=0&z=1&img=/img/x/340/1390-15-rbz.jpg

If I had all the money in the world, I'd go a little crazy
http://images.lightinguniverse.com/img/l/670/CX6004DA-4.jpg

― Maria :D, Monday, 17 September 2007 02:26 (eighteen years ago)

That first one looks a light fixture from the back room of Cheers or something.

― milo z, Monday, 17 September 2007 02:29 (eighteen years ago)

bare bulbs.

― S-, Monday, 17 September 2007 02:40 (eighteen years ago)

Our 4-year-old wants these:
http://images.lampsplus.com/images/08973.fpx?cell=330,330&qlt=75&cvt=jpeg

― Maria :D, Monday, 17 September 2007 02:44 (eighteen years ago)

We have that first one hanging in the nursery!

Never made the nipple connection before.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 17 September 2007 02:51 (eighteen years ago)

This might be alright in a bathroom:
http://images.lampsplus.com/images/08194.fpx?cell=330,330&qlt=75&cvt=jpeg

― Maria :D, Monday, 17 September 2007 02:53 (eighteen years ago)

That vortex one is great Maria!

Here's our new place: http://www.flickr.com/photos/illiterati/sets/72157602039756246/

Empty until tomorrow. You can sort of see the ceiling fans and the halogen track lighting. There are 3 drop lights that hang over the bar/sink and 2 futuristic looking things that light the kitchen. Standard 4 bulb bathroom fixture, set above the giant mirror that is the entire wall behind the sink/toilet.

― Jaq, Monday, 17 September 2007 03:11 (eighteen years ago)

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