Your fantasy cast for a Rocky Horror remake

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Dan and Sara and I came up with:

Frank-N-Furter = Donald Trump
Brad = JM J Bullock
Janet = Tammy Faye Baker
Riff Raff = Zach Braff
Magenta = Bea Arthur
Rocky = Danny Bonaduce
Columbia = Raven Symone
Dr. Von Scot = Rip Taylor
Eddie/Meatloaf = Pru$$ian Blue

Pick your own cast.

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:12 (eighteen years ago)

As originated by those two over here. We're still discussing the consequences, ie. Trump going down on Bullock.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:15 (eighteen years ago)

I like how I get pulled into this; I was an innocent bystander!

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:15 (eighteen years ago)

Magenta was Kirstie Alley! Bea Arthur was the narrator.

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

One big flaw is that Bonaduce has no lines.

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

He has songs! Remember "Sword of Damacles"?

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

You are so on crack. He has a whole song to himself! ("Sword of Damocles.") (XPOST DAMMIT)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

Also he sings a verse in "Rose Tint My World."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

At least you can spell, even if you are slow.

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

That's right!

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

Also, is it going to be even remotely plausible that Zack Braff outwits and destroys the Donald?

I don't think so.

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:19 (eighteen years ago)

Zach Braff is the glaring flaw in this casting, true. I was trying to ignore that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:19 (eighteen years ago)

Does the Kirstie Alley/Zach Braff elbow sex make up for that plot hole?

Probably not.

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:20 (eighteen years ago)

At any rate, I defy you guys to come up with a better casting choice whose name has the same cadence as "Riff Raff" (and also rhymes).

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:21 (eighteen years ago)

I thought we had agreed that Kirstie Alley was the narrator. This no longer makes any sense!

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:23 (eighteen years ago)

Screw that; clearly you should just put Michael Douglas in the role. (xpost)

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:23 (eighteen years ago)

It really is sad that ODB passed away, because Big Baby Jesus as Riff Raff has a ring of truth to it.

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:26 (eighteen years ago)

At any rate, I defy you guys to come up with a better casting choice whose name has the same cadence as "Riff Raff" (and also rhymes).

-- The Android Cat (djperr...)

nick sylvester?

― and what (ooo), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:45 (eighteen years ago)

Okay so that fails both criteria yet is still awesome.

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:46 (eighteen years ago)

Ooh, what if Theodore Dalrymple plays Dr. Von Scot?

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:53 (eighteen years ago)

Where does Jessica Simpson fit in to this? Because she should.

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:56 (eighteen years ago)

Eddie.

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:57 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, she could fit inside Eddie.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:57 (eighteen years ago)

Perfect. Either way.

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:58 (eighteen years ago)

I'm imagining how, exactly, JS would fit inside PB.

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:58 (eighteen years ago)

Shocker.

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 16:59 (eighteen years ago)

It's grisly.

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:00 (eighteen years ago)

Frank-N-Furter = Squidward
Brad = Spongebob
Janet = Sandy
Riff Raff = Mr Krabs
Magenta = Mrs Puff
Rocky = Neptune
Columbia = Mindy
Dr. Von Scot = Plankton
Eddie/Meatloaf = Patrick

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:04 (eighteen years ago)

PERFECT

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:05 (eighteen years ago)

It frightened me how quickly and easily that came to mind. I mean, actually picturing Squidward in fishnets - there is something wrong with me.

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:10 (eighteen years ago)

Okay, my kids are never allowed to watch Spongebob again.

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:12 (eighteen years ago)

No, now they are required to.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:23 (eighteen years ago)

There was a question on "Mastermind" about SBSP..

(OK, Jnr Mast, but hey)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:25 (eighteen years ago)

Ned, your babysitting days are ovah! (xpost)

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:27 (eighteen years ago)

I started trying to cast the Yacht Rocky Horror Picture Show with McDonald, Loggins, Steely Dan and etc. But it was too dark. Too dark altogether. Michael McDonald in fishnets...*shudder*

― Ash (ashbyman), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 17:32 (eighteen years ago)

Frank-N-Furter = Carol Brady
Brad = Bobby Brady
Janet = Cindy Brady
Rocky = Greg Brady
Riff Raff = Mike Brady
Magenta = Marcia Brady
Columbia = Jan Brady
Dr. Von Scot = Alice
Eddie/Meatloaf = Peter Brady
Narrator/Criminologist = Sam, the butcher

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 19:00 (eighteen years ago)

Can they cover The Partridge Family's I Think I Love You? Because I won't be happy until you say yes.

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 19:22 (eighteen years ago)

But what would it replace? Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch me or I Can Make You a Man?

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

Frank-N-Furter = Russell Brand
Brad = Jonathan Ross
Janet = Jessica Oyelowo
Riff Raff = Alistair McGowan
Magenta = Kate Bush
Rocky = Boris Johnson
Columbia = Georgia Taylor
Dr. Von Scot = Peter Kay
Eddie/Meatloaf = Gordon Kennedy

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

So wrong, and yet, so wrong.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

Frank-N-Furter = Benry
Brad = Jack
Janet = Kate
Riff Raff = Charlie
Magenta = Rousseau
Rocky = Sawyer
Columbia = Claire
Dr. Von Scot = Locke
Eddie/Meatloaf = Hurley

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 19:55 (eighteen years ago)

But where is Sayid? (ha ha ha Benry as Frank-N-Furter... brrrrrr. That dude is creepy.)

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

I kind of imagine him and Charlie sharing Riff Raff.

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

Frank-N-Furter = Sean Tully
Brad = Roy Cropper
Janet = Hayley Cropper
Riff Raff = Les Battersby
Magenta = Kelly whatever-her-name-is-from-the-factory
Rocky = Jack Duckworth
Columbia = Rosie Webster
Dr. Von Scot = Ken Barlow
Eddie/Meatloaf = Fred Elliot

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

I started to do this with the characters from the tv show Little House on the Prairie, but just. couldn't. go. there.

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 23:23 (eighteen years ago)

KEYSTONE VERSION:
Directed by: Mack Sennett
Frank-N-Furter = Charlie Chaplin
Brad = Buster Keaton
Janet = Mabel Normand
Riff Raff = Joe Keaton
Magenta = Minta Durfee
Rocky = Al St. John
Eddie/Meatloaf = Roscoe Arbuckle
Dr. Von Scot = Luke
(If you've never seen Charlie Chaplin in drag, see "A Busy Day" (1914).)

― shieldforyoureyes (shieldforyoureyes), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 23:44 (eighteen years ago)

ACTION STAR VERSION:

Frank-N-Furter = Mel Gibson
Brad = Jackie Chan
Janet = Lucy Liu
Rocky = Arnold Schwarzenegger
Riff Raff = Steven Seagal
Magenta = Lucy Lawless
Columbia = Milla Jovovich
Dr. Von Scot = Carl Weathers
Eddie/Meatloaf = Sylvester Stallone
Narrator/Criminologist = Bruce Willis

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 21:10 (eighteen years ago)

Magenta = CYNTHIA ROTHROCK
Janet = JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

You do know that Jean isn't a girl's name in this instance, don't you? Just checkin'.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

Brad = Jackie Chan

Inspired!

― baron kickass von awesomehausen (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 21:24 (eighteen years ago)

Inspired!

Thank you.

Magenta = CYNTHIA ROTHROCK
Janet = JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME

If janet is jean-claude van damme, then brad is ron silver

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

lolz

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 21:32 (eighteen years ago)

ROLLING RHPS FANTASY CAST CHALLENGES:

PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES VERSION
ENEMIES OF THE UNITED STATES (PAST AND PRESENT) VERSION
FAMOUS PUPPETS VERSION
CELEBRITY REALITY TV VERSION
ILXOR VERSION (OH NOES!)
FAMOUS PETS VERSION

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 21:39 (eighteen years ago)

MUPPETS
Frank-N-Furter = Gonzo
Brad = Kermit
Janet = Ms. Piggy
Riff Raff = Sam the Eagle
Magenta = Camilla
Rocky = Scooter
Columbia = Janice
Dr. Von Scot = Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
Eddie/Meatloaf = Animal

― shieldforyoureyes (shieldforyoureyes), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 22:11 (eighteen years ago)

statler and waldorf = transylvanians

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 22:15 (eighteen years ago)

ILXOR Version

Well, clearly:

Frank-N-Furter = Ned Raggett
Brad = Fluffy Bear

Beyond that...????

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 23:22 (eighteen years ago)

INSTITUTE OF HIGHER LEARNING EDITION

Frank-N-Furter = Reed
Brad = Trinity Bible College
Janet = College of St. Catherine
Rocky = Ohio State
Riff Raff = USC
Magenta = Madison
Columbia = Columbia
Dr. Von Scot = Harvard
Eddie/Meatloaf = Macalester College
Narrator/Criminologist = Bob Jones University

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:14 (eighteen years ago)

Frank-N-Furter = Ned Raggett
Brad = Fluffy Bear

Janet = Sam
Rocky = GZeus
Riff Raff = John
Magenta = Sara
Columbia = Suzy
Dr. Von Scot = me
Eddie = M@tt
Narrator = Dr. Morbius

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:17 (eighteen years ago)

So let's see, I take GZeus to bed first, then Sam, then Fluffy Bear, then feast on Matt's corpse. Clarity.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:18 (eighteen years ago)

You forgot Suzy.

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

(And Poland.)

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, woe is me
My life is a misery
Oh, can't you see
That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

That ain't no crime.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

Orly?

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 11 January 2007 15:21 (eighteen years ago)

Hmmmm, I think you need to switch M@tt and John.

Thus,
Riff Raff = M@tt
Eddie/Meatloaf = John

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Thursday, 11 January 2007 16:19 (eighteen years ago)

STUFF ON MY DESK MONDAYS ARE BORING EDITION

Frank-N-Furter = staple puller
Brad = tape dispenser
Janet = box of paper clips
Rocky = stress ball with company logo
Riff Raff = letter opener
Magenta = envelope moistener roll-on (with adhesive)
Columbia = coffee mug
Dr. Von Scot = stapler
Eddie/Meatloaf = complementary antimicrobial hand rinse
Narrator/Criminologist = post-it notes

― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 15 January 2007 14:57 (eighteen years ago)

four months pass...

PRESIDENTS (and FIRST LADIES) OF THE UNITED STATES

Frank-N-Furter = George W. Bush
Brad = Gerald Ford
Janet = Nancy Reagan
understudy for Janet = Laura Bush
Rocky = JFK
Riff Raff = Jimmy Carter
Magenta = Barbara Bush
Columbia = Betty Ford
Dr. Von Scot = Richard Nixon
Eddie/Meatloaf = Bill Clinton
Narrator/Criminologist = William Howard Taft

― Sara R-C, Monday, 11 June 2007 16:44 (eighteen years ago)

Frank-N-Furter = Screech
Brad = Zack Morris
Janet = Kelly KA-POWski
Rocky = Screech (CGI)
Riff Raff = A.C. Slater
Magenta = Lisa Turtle
Columbia = Jesse Spano
Dr. Von Scot = Max (that magician/restauranteur)
Eddie/Meatloaf = Mr. Belding
Narrator/Criminologist = Ms. Bliss

― Spinspin Sugah, Monday, 11 June 2007 18:03 (eighteen years ago)

OK, that presidential cast is priceless.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Monday, 11 June 2007 18:38 (eighteen years ago)

Presidential Rocky casting = break from my homework yesterday. Glad you like it! (I seriously want to see that version now.)

― Sara R-C, Monday, 11 June 2007 18:41 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

From the Late of the Pier thread on ILM:

You may also be interested in.... http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117989391.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

-- Raw Patrick, Tuesday, 29 July 2008 15:18

This is not going to end well, is it?

― CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 29 July 2008 16:26 (seventeen years ago)

srsly:

Two-hour remake will use the original screenplay by Jim Sharman and Richard O'Brien but may also include music not featured in the original.

Helmer and casting decisions have yet to be announced.

ugh ugh ugh

― CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 29 July 2008 16:27 (seventeen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.