stand up joke

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as a comedian, i gotta to admit im purty good. maybe even great, but i'd have to be a real dick to make dat statement. so
instead, ima read you part of a review of my show last month in north dakota. according to fred jamison of the harper's ridge
gazette, my show was, and i quote
'a stunningly cathartic discharge. a self-taught comedian [now there's a coupla quotation marks around comedian, that's ta
highlight how amazing it is that i'm selftaught] marsh purveyed, at interminable length, a series of wellworn tropes and
convalescent wit that left this reviewer exhausted.' now there might be a coupla words in dere that y'all don't understand, so i'll
make it easy on ya. this guy laughed so dogdonned hard it actually made him exhausted. he was laughin' his ass off,
and he wasn't alone. they was laughin so hard in there you could smell it, they was basically peein themselves. course, it
was a redneck bar, and that tends to happen anyway,

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:48 (eighteen years ago)

what the hell

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:52 (eighteen years ago)

They all laughed when I told them I wanted to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.
(c Bob Monkhouse)

― chap (chap), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:52 (eighteen years ago)

i know! his formatting is still messed up!

― Storefront Church (688), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:53 (eighteen years ago)

http://prelectur.stanford.edu/lecturers/jameson/gifs/marxform.gif

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:55 (eighteen years ago)

Squirrel_Police makes me feel like I'm reading Flowers for Algernon

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:55 (eighteen years ago)

allyzay otm

― a_p (a_p), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:57 (eighteen years ago)

marsh purveyed, at interminable length, a series of wellworn tropes and convalescent wit that left this reviewer exhausted

PLEASE LET THIS BE THE REAL SQUIRREL POLICE

oh hang on, this thread is automatically forcing SP-esque formatting for all of us, so IT'S CLEARLY A VERY AMUSING JOKE. I suspect Optins.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:58 (eighteen years ago)

oh no, it isn't. that was just my text-box. whoops.

I REPEAT, please let this be SP.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:59 (eighteen years ago)

what the hell

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Thursday, 11 January 2007 17:59 (eighteen years ago)

otm

― you win again, gravity! (tissp), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:00 (eighteen years ago)

mark s - rofflez

tracer - rofflez

ally - rofflez

at interminable length, a series of wellworn tropes and
convalescent wit that left this reviewer exhausted. - rofflez

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:02 (eighteen years ago)

WOW

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:04 (eighteen years ago)

maybe gzeus can straighten this thread out for us

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:04 (eighteen years ago)

When recovering from a violent fit of sickness, he had been ordered to refrain from all reading and writing, which he had obeyed wonderfully well, although he found the monotony of a seaside life very trying to his active mind. One morning he had been left by Mrs. Jerrold alone, while she had gone shopping, and during her absence a parcel of books from London arrived. Among them was Browning's 'Sordello,' which he commenced to read. Line after line, and page after page was devoured by the convalescent wit, but not a consecutive idea could he get from that mystic production. The thought then struck him that he had lost his reason during his illness, and that he was so imbecile that he did not know it. A perspiration burst from his brow, and he sat silent and thoughtful. When his wife returned, he thrust the mysterious volume into her hands, crying out, 'Read this, my dear!' After several attempts to make any sense out of the first page or so, she returned it, saying, 'Bother the gibberish! I don't understand a word of it!' 'Thank Heaven,' cried the delighted wit; 'then I am not an idiot!

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:07 (eighteen years ago)

a stunningly cathartic discharge

Coldplay album title?

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)

Funniest possible things to say during moment of climax.

― a_p (a_p), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:12 (eighteen years ago)

"stunningly cathartic discharge" is one of the more disgusting phrases I've ever encountered.

xpost: ew.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:13 (eighteen years ago)

so IT'S CLEARLY A VERY AMUSING JOKE. I suspect Optins.

it wasn't me, and my jokes are rarely amusing.

― tony conrad schnitzler (sanskrit), Thursday, 11 January 2007 18:32 (eighteen years ago)

optins is more effective when working with subliminal images

― friday on the porch (lfam), Friday, 12 January 2007 08:48 (eighteen years ago)

dogdonned

― baron kickass von awesomehausen (nickalicious), Friday, 12 January 2007 14:56 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.blaskan.nu/Bilder/marvin_gaye.jpg
I'll be dogdonned

― The Redd And The Blecch (Ken L), Friday, 12 January 2007 15:05 (eighteen years ago)

HE seems to have had a right and true apprehension of the power of custom, who first invented the story of a countrywoman who, having accustomed herself to play with and carry, a young calf in her arms, and daily continuing to do so as it grew up, obtained this by custom, that, when grown to be a great ox, she was still able to bear it. For, in truth, custom is a violent and treacherous schoolmistress. She, by little and little, slily and unperceived, slips in the foot of her authority, but having by this gentle and humble beginning, with the benefit of time, fixed and established it, she then unmasks a furious and tyrannic countenance, against which we have no more the courage or the power so much as to lift up our eyes. We see her, at every turn, forcing and violating the rules of nature: "Usus efficacissimus rerum omnium magister." I refer to her Plato's cave in his Republic, and the physicians, who so often submit the reasons of their art to her authority; as the story of that king, who by custom brought his stomach to that pass, as to live by poison, and the maid that Albertus reports to have lived upon spiders. In that new world of the Indies, there were found great nations, and in very differing climates, who were of the same diet, made provision of them, and fed them for their tables; as also, they did grasshoppers, mice, lizards, and bats; and in a time of scarcity of such delicacies, a toad was sold for six crowns, all which they cook, and dish up with several sauces. There were also others found, to whom our diet, and the flesh we eat, were venomous and mortal. "Consuetudinis magna vis est: pernoctant venatores in nive: in montibus uri se patiuutur: pugiles coestibus contusi, ne ingemiscunt quidem."

― braveclub (braveclub), Friday, 12 January 2007 15:05 (eighteen years ago)

S. Police you need to quit hanging out at the Coliseum and the K-9 and the Navajo Room and study.

― Abbott (Abbott), Monday, 15 January 2007 21:59 (eighteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

"stunningly cathartic discharge" is one of the more disgusting phrases I've ever encountered.

"stunningly cathartic discharge" is a disgusting phrase.

― friday on the porch (lfam), Thursday, 8 February 2007 14:06 (eighteen years ago)

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