I know starting a thread like this is like waving a vagina at Dan Perry, but I'm curious.
Would the reactions, comedy zings, "advice" etc. be much different?
Pretend I'm a 20 year old female virgin (hah, I know that's a stretch) asking if it's OK to not want to have sex - and answer the same questions.
― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:43 (eighteen years ago)
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:44 (eighteen years ago)
― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:47 (eighteen years ago)
― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:52 (eighteen years ago)
― chap (chap), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:53 (eighteen years ago)
― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:55 (eighteen years ago)
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:55 (eighteen years ago)
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:56 (eighteen years ago)
Or maybe it's the passantintone of Nu ILX.
― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:57 (eighteen years ago)
― Rumpsy Pumpsy (Rumpie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:05 (eighteen years ago)
― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:06 (eighteen years ago)
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:06 (eighteen years ago)
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:07 (eighteen years ago)
hi dere i'm a reporter may i interview u
― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:08 (eighteen years ago)
And the less glib answer is that it comes down to a certain cultural sexism. Men can whine about it all they like whereas women are presumed to have an easy time in the game of love and have their pick of suitors and swains (they don't of course). Women are presumed to be the gatekeepers to their own sexuality whereas men are mere flotsam on the tides of sexuality. All rubbish of course but it seems to be a fairly ingrained cultural perception.
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:09 (eighteen years ago)
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:12 (eighteen years ago)
there have been threads here. it was handled pretty sensibly as well iirc.
― My Koogy Weighs A Ton (koogs), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:13 (eighteen years ago)
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:14 (eighteen years ago)
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:14 (eighteen years ago)
― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:22 (eighteen years ago)
If we're only concerned with "the game of love" yeah, it's difficult for all, but we were talking about teh sexing first & foremost.
― fandango (fandango), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:26 (eighteen years ago)
Yes, I think this is quite true about why there is not more female discussion of it. To ask the question in public would be to attract entirely too much of the wrong kind of attention.
Also, Ed - women as gatekeepers of sexuality? I think that's an interesting metaphor. It's more often implied that women are "supposed" to be passive recipients of (male) sexuality, rather than the actual agent of their own sexuality.
― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:27 (eighteen years ago)
My suspicion is that people would be a bit more sensitive overall and most zining would be at the expense of the male creep that would inevitably pop up.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:29 (eighteen years ago)
― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:30 (eighteen years ago)
― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:30 (eighteen years ago)
The reality is, or should be, where activity is equal on both sides and silly cultural games (or rules) are discarded and people just get on with it.
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:31 (eighteen years ago)
― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:33 (eighteen years ago)
xpost
― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:33 (eighteen years ago)
Or *don't* get it on. With it. As the case may be.
― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:35 (eighteen years ago)
-- Nathalie (dotdotdo...), Today 7:14 AM. (stevie nixed) (later)
(To myself: so why do I keep reading these threads?)
Thanks for contributing my thoughts for me Nath!
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:56 (eighteen years ago)
"Pretend I'm a 20 year old female virgin (hah, I know that's a stretch) asking if it's OK to not want to have sex - and answer the same questions."
Where to begin. A 20 year old female virgin asking a question that might insinuate coercion is valid? How about: A 20 year old female virgin who has been raped? A 20 year old female virgin who has been sexually abused? Where are you coming from!
Asking? pretend? Not want to have sex! That's the rub!
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:57 (eighteen years ago)
― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:59 (eighteen years ago)
I do find it intriguing though! I mean, the whole virgin/getting laid thing. You're not s'posed to have fucked too much - or else you're a slut - but on the other hand if you're a virgin, you're a bit... y'know... inexperienced or whatever. I mean, what's the amount of people you should have fucked? 3 for a girl, ten for a guy? :-)
Losing your virginity does not ALWAYS equal sex.
:-(
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:01 (eighteen years ago)
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:02 (eighteen years ago)
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:06 (eighteen years ago)
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:16 (eighteen years ago)
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:28 (eighteen years ago)
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:30 (eighteen years ago)
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:31 (eighteen years ago)
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:32 (eighteen years ago)
I already was.
― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:32 (eighteen years ago)
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:33 (eighteen years ago)
But unless a woman made it a point to stress that this situation troubled her *because* of her gender I doubt it would change my response.
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:35 (eighteen years ago)
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:37 (eighteen years ago)
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:40 (eighteen years ago)
yes they do. I put up exactly the same profile on okcupid again, but this time as a female, i got 38 messages in one day.
― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:41 (eighteen years ago)
― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:42 (eighteen years ago)
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:42 (eighteen years ago)
― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:43 (eighteen years ago)
***
Ilxors are happier than pigs in shit to talk about sex, but when it comes to other bodily functions the shutters come down.
Perhaps they would get knocked over in the stampede of pavlov's horndogs.
― Fleischhutliebe! like a warm, furry meatloaf (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:52 (eighteen years ago)
yes exactly!
― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:55 (eighteen years ago)
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:58 (eighteen years ago)
― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 15:00 (eighteen years ago)
does this suggest that the thread was actually going somewhere at one point?
― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 15:05 (eighteen years ago)
― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 15:07 (eighteen years ago)
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 15:10 (eighteen years ago)
You?
― Johnney B English (stigoftdump), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 15:12 (eighteen years ago)
― vita susicivus (blueski), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 15:15 (eighteen years ago)
nathalie otm.
― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)
But you can never prove anything but the things you already suspected by going meta. Oh well.
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 16:19 (eighteen years ago)
― Sundar (sundar), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 17:29 (eighteen years ago)
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:27 (eighteen years ago)
This is, of course, not how it is for most people (I hope) and certainly not how it should be. Hooking up shouldn't be anything more than two equals who like each other. And no games.
Which doesn't really answer the question. I assume Zingfest plus horndogs.
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)
Er?
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)
― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)
wow, no wonder hip hop has yet to flourish across the pond.
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)
I'm sure we have, but the search is so poor, I'd start another one.
― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:48 (eighteen years ago)
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:52 (eighteen years ago)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/sv/a/a4/Lost_logo.jpg
(only 16 more days!)
― blotter Budweiser Hackeysadk (nickalicious), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:56 (eighteen years ago)
― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:58 (eighteen years ago)
― TOMBO7 (TOMBOT), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)
― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 21:12 (eighteen years ago)
― UART variations (ex machina), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 21:13 (eighteen years ago)
― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)
― John Justen is fucking sick of his username (johnjusten), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)
― ampersand, spades, semicolon (cis), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 21:31 (eighteen years ago)
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 22:01 (eighteen years ago)
― chicago kevin (chicago kevin), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 22:04 (eighteen years ago)
It came up in Random the other day, and I read it end to end.
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:18 (eighteen years ago)
― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:29 (eighteen years ago)
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:32 (eighteen years ago)
― The Whistling Bus (kate), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:33 (eighteen years ago)
Funnily enough, while shopping in Windsor, I did see Anna Friel around. I can safely say she looked quite nice but way off the 'actively fancy' list.
― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:36 (eighteen years ago)