Crushology

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I was up late last night, talking to a friend about crushes and such, and tryna explain my [it seems,] peculiar take on them. I tend to seperate and define the crushes i have on people into sub-categories like New-Friendship-Crushes [or being "in like"], luuurve-crushes [being smitten], pervy completely superficial lust crushes [a particular fave while drunk; having the hots for crushee] and the clucky mother-hen 'aww you're so sweet and pathetic i must nurture you/clutch you to my matronly busom' crush.

Do you get different types of crushes on different people? Are there any patterns? Have i inadvertantly invented a new scientific field?

― petra jane, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I NEVER have crushes on others (I'm far too pathetically serious) but I suffer them from other people in whom I have no interest (I've already posted this truism on ILE). So, if you should become a certified crushologist...please may I be your first patient?!

― debaser, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yeah. but i can't categorise them at all. they're too unpredictable. some are just more intense than others. some are more realistic than others. but these aren't necessarily related factors.

― di, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

ps haha i so knew this was a petrajane thread!

― di, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

'course it is! there's a shelf in my towel-cupboard with yr name on it yeknow.

― petra jane, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

but i can't categorise them at all. they're too unpredictable.

By predictable, do you mean they move from one 'type' to another? or they're to confusing to objectively categorise? something else?

― petra jane, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

by unpredictable, rather. BLARGH.

― petra jane, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

woo, i've hijacked my own thread!

― petra jane, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I recognise all of the types of crush you mention, but I don't see them as distinct categories - these are four aspects of feelings towards others, and it would be extraordinary, for me at least, to have intense feelings (as in a crush) that were purely within one of these boxes.

Obviously I have almost all of these feelings for everyone on this board.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh, if Crushology is a science, I'm an expert.

Trite answer = there are as many types of crushes as crushees, but that's so patently not true, as I have definite crush types where the person the crush is on is totally superfluous to the kind of crush it is.

Other crush types I have:

1) You are so cool I want to BE you. You find yourself subconsciously or sometimes consciously turning yourself into the aspects of your crush that you admire, ie. dressing like the crush, listening to the same kind of music as the crush.

2) The mutual appreciate society, I love your art crush. You love his band/music/art/novel/whatever, so therefore you decide you love him. Not the same as being a groupie as there is always an arrogant element of "I would like to work WITH you" to this crush.

3) You are my muuuuuuuuse!!! Boy is inspiring in every way, you want to draw pretty pictures of him, you want to write songs/poetry/novels about him, he is your inspiration and you want to make great art about him.

4) I hate you so much I want to fuck you crush. Also knows as "fight or fuck" syndrome. You can't stand him. He can't stand you. You want to fuck his brains out just to prove that you can.

Oh, there are more but I can't think of them right now.

― kate, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Duh! Mentioned it but forgot to elaborate:

5) Pure groupie crush. Pretty self evident.

― kate, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Does "I love you, you'll never love me, so I'll have a crush instead just to ponder what it might be like" a type of crush, or us ut that the premise of all of them?

― Graham, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

. . . I often get a mixture of kate's 1, 2 & 5 - the "i wanna be yr disciple" crush. also - abstract crushes on conceptions of people (archetype crushes? ie "i MUST insert them into narrative!"/"you prove/inspire theories!").
. . . not too sure about mother-hen crushes but I sadly lack a matronly busom. is there a guy-equiv to this, or is it because I am barren & devoid of nurture?

― Ess Kay, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

By unpredictable, do you mean they move from one 'type' to another? or they're to confusing to objectively categorise? something else?

both of those things. as for kate's guide to crushes i totally relate to numbers 2 and 4. i have another category too: the "this person is so strange, i don't know anyone like him/her, i want to get a look inside his/her head" crush.

― di, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

which is i guess my most common type of crush, when i think about it.

― di, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have definite crush types where the person the crush is on is totally superfluous to the kind of crush it is.

Personally, the object of the crush is largely superfluous anyway, a lot of the time. It's more a state of being in love with the idea of love, or a new interest, or something/one that appeals to yr aesthetic senses. This is especially true for people one doesn't know too well; the mind fills in the blanks in their personality with a sortof best-case scenario to keep everything all squishy and rose- tinted. This is why getting to know crushes can so often be a disappointment.

― petra jane, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It's more a state of being in love with the idea of love

and when you realise this you stop taking yr feelings so seriously and just go with the flow and it no longer matters whether you will ever achieve whatever you desire of the crushee.

― di, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeh, so you might as well be content admiring their killer gtr stylez or hott ass!

― petra jane, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Most of my crushes are on women and are the "oh I want to be you but I can't so I'll just adore you." Maybe once a year I get a sexual crush.

― Maria, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i have been trying to figure out the kind of crushes i have on people like chan and bjork. i am more in love with the person than the music, which is odd because i have no (actual direct) access to the person, but easy access to the music. i guess what i mean is that (esp. with bjork) i have been quite taken with the personality i have seen in interviews, on tv, in film etc. part of this image i have has been constructed in my head, i'm sure they are not the same as i imagine them to be.

― Ron, Saturday, 3 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

kate is rolling in a mountain of shiny newly-minted pound coins (and so is petrajane for that matter!)

― katie, Sunday, 4 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

ron, you mentalist!

― nathalie, Sunday, 4 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

my most recent fleeting crush was extinguished when said crushee expressed great anticipation of the new M. Night Shamalayan movie.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 4 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

mentalist, cool! i thought i was creepy.

― Ron, Sunday, 4 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You were wise to escape when you did, Tracer.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 4 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

four months pass...

I am suffering from a #3 from Kate's Crushology.

Help me!

― toraneko (toraneko), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 14:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

That sounds like the most fun one Toraneko. Enjoy it and create things.

I am trying to batter away a crush on someone who should not be crushed on. I think it's working.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 14:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

Not fun! My brain is filled with frippery, poetry, fantasies of touching, fairystories and (really) evil plots to ensnare crushee.

― toraneko (toraneko), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 14:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

I didn't see the married thread. Oh dear. Run.
Is it the kind that makes you feel like you have some kind of electric charge just under your skin?

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 14:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

words like "crushee" make me want to swallow 400 paracetamols and jump off putney bridge.

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 17 December 2002 14:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeh, and being around them makes me dizzy and really, really stupid. It's so embarrassing.

I spend all my time imagining stolen moments. Arrgh.

― toraneko (toraneko), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 14:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's the loss of control that pisses me off.

Can you find a slightly less enthralling but distractionary crush to fixate on as a displacement activity?

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 14:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

Actually, I think the way crushes work, the crushee is actually the crusher and I'm the crushee.

― toraneko (toraneko), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 15:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

isn't this a Fat Joe song?

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 15:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Kate's #4 = grudgefucking...a beautiful scary thing

Anyway, this thread has made me think strongly on two subjects...

A) I always develop crushes on the wrong people...ALWAYS.

B) I'm strongly reminded of the chorus to this Kool Keith song...

KEITH: ooh baby
LADY: what's up?
KEITH: don't crush it when you sit up on it
LADY: ooh baby
KEITH: what's up?
LADY: don't rush it when I sit up on it

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

And I am currently suffering from Kate's #s 1, 2, and 3, all for the same person, no less. Bummah.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Except, substitute the word "boy" with the word "girl".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha "crusher" makes me think of that cramps song, somehwat inappropriately. nickalicious i always get crushes on the wrong WRONG WRONG!!! WRONG!!!!! people too, this is largely why i never pursue anyone. presently undergoing numbers 1, 2 and 6(the wierdo crush). always with the wierdo crush.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 22:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

actually i only ever get crush #3 on my friends. i'm always writing songs about my friends.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 22:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

All I have to say is that I am still cooler than Wesley Crusher.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 18 December 2002 00:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

1) You are so cool I want to BE you.
Yeah, I have one of these. Sucks, because I have only talked to her about 3 times over 3 yrs (the last two having been in rapid succession, which makes it slightly less tragic). The last time I saw her, however, she was wearing a Hives tshirt, which diminished my crush a lot.

P.S. I too knew this was Petra's thread.

― Livvie, Wednesday, 18 December 2002 07:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

Actually, my #3 crush is a #1 crush. This must mean that crush types are not mutually exclusive.

Sometimes I forget its origins and just focus on its symptoms.

― toraneko (toraneko), Wednesday, 18 December 2002 12:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

six months pass...

Shit, I can't even remember who it was I had a crush on in December. Shit shit shit. So, it was obviously just a crush.

Anyway, so now I want to talk about love so lets have a love-ology.

― toraneko (toraneko), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ess-- I think the male equivalent is to take a fellow (male/female) under yr wing and ADVISE them, and so forth. Petra--- I wish you still posted. It'd be cool. Toraneko--- thanks, I'd sort of forgetten this thread.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 15:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

4) I hate you so much I want to fuck you crush. Also knows as "fight or fuck" syndrome. You can't stand him. He can't stand you. You want to fuck his brains out just to prove that you can.

Mate, I'm suffering w/ that one. But I was a real bitch to him yesterday so.... good. He tried to be nice; first mistake coffee boy.

― Nellie (nellskies), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 22:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

The last time I saw her, however, she was wearing a Hives tshirt, which diminished my crush a lot.

I wish my crushes could be crushed as easily as that.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 23:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

this thread is making my head hurt

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 June 2003 03:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

like 4real

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 June 2003 04:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://tfp.killbots.com/scans/137s.gif

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 26 June 2003 04:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

All I need for a crush diminishing is to see them in cream pants, or Nike.
Yes, I'm shallow.

― Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 26 June 2003 06:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

After they have cream pants, they really have no use for you.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 26 June 2003 06:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Unless they need to be whipped. *raises monobrow*

― Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 26 June 2003 09:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

Don't make dessert for me please

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

This thread is so sweet!

It's weird; I don't really suffer from crushes any more. I wonder what became of them - well, that's obvious, HSA bannished them from my head - but I wonder if or rather WHEN (since if there are two things that are certain in life, they are death and crushes) they will come back.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

MY REAL CRUSH got back from new zealand today.
fuck he's hotttt.

― Nellie (nellskies), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

Can you have a crush on someone that you are actually WITH? Or is it by definition, not a crush then? Once a crush is reciprocated, is it no longer a crush?

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

its no longer a crush

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

and duh, sort of. It's like LOVE or the beginnings of it, y'know?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Is it still called a "crush" after you've had sex? Or is it then officially a "thing"?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

Depends how the calls go, maybe

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

This is all too complicated. I was about to say "Oh no, I want to go back to just having crushes" but then I realised, oh bloody hell, no, I do not!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Is it still called a "crush" after you've had sex?

It depends on if any bones were broken in the process.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like to think of the term "crush" as simply a feeling of overwhelmedness inspired by the presence of the person in question; as though all your other desires and distractions and whatnot are "crushed" by their existence. So I would definitely say you can still have a crush on someone (long) after you've "sealed the deal".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well, I don't feel overwhelmed. I just feel nice and warm and fuzzy just sort of like I'm floating in a giant furry friieeeennnnd Barbarella style.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.homevisions.com/hvprod/assets/product_images/22159_x.jpg

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

(btw Kate I really missed having you on ILE, and I know lotsa others did too...good to have ya back!)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 14:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, it is good. Now PETRA should hazard some return!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 14:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Thanks guys... I guess the title of my welcome back thread attracted me instantly, but it's passed over others' heads...

Spacemen 3 re-unite

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 14:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

God - I love crushes. All of that goofiness and giggling and excitement and little body quakes and thrills and stuff. Yep - the more the better.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 3 July 2003 03:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

I don't know if I like crushes more when they're reciprocated or when they aren't...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 3 July 2003 08:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

crushing is my favourite thing to do. pros: all of what i'm passing open windows said. cons: when you're depressed because crush is impossible to act upon.

― fiona (fiona), Friday, 4 July 2003 00:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Crushes are great fun. It's been a long time for me though. I always get crushes on really nice, sweet religious women, and inevitably things will never work out.

I'm sure there's a Freudian reason bitter, cynical agnostics fall for kind religious folk.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 4 July 2003 03:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

I wish someone had a crush on me. I'm very accustomed to having crushes on other people, especially those I most admire or whom I aspire to be in some aspect or another, but to this date have no knowledge of anyone at all having a crush on me. Suckage.

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 4 July 2003 04:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

Be careful what you wish for, Dee. You may get it, but unfortunately never in the form that you really wanted.

I don't like it when people have crushes on me - not because I'm not flattered and don't enjoy the attention - but because I invariably end up letting them down. And letting down a crush, you feel like you're shooting a puppy or something. The air is pretty thin up on a pedastal.

― kate (kate), Friday, 4 July 2003 07:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

um, whatever. at least makes life a bit interesting.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 4 July 2003 09:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

If something didn't have the potential to cause utter crushing (no pun intended) disaster, then it wouldn't be fun, I guess.

― kate (kate), Friday, 4 July 2003 10:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

didn't say it would make life 'fun' but 'interesting'. there is a difference here.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 4 July 2003 11:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

one month passes...

Now PETRA should hazard some return!

*waves fairy wand* You shall go to the ball. etc etc.

Um, hi guys. What i miss?

― petra jane (petra jane), Sunday, 17 August 2003 08:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

you missed us missing you!!

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 17 August 2003 10:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

six years pass...

Argh it must be spring I have a CRRRUUUSSSSHHHHH and it started out as a number 4 but now it is something different, not necessarily typed on the catalogue of crushes yet.

I think it is the dreaded INTERWEB CRUSH which might be the worst of all. Because it's real but not real enough, and fake but not fake enough.

Oh my.

― There's Always Been A Dance Element To (Masonic Boom), Friday, 19 March 2010 22:06 (fourteen years ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.