In this thread, Sarah keeps everyone up to date with her/Link's adventures in Hyrule

Ooh! Hello! Well if you really want to know my Zelda progress - righty!!

Right then after faffing about in the Kokiri forest for yonks, I eventually got enough money for a shield. I then wandered about for ages going AHA! I shall DEFEND myself from you EVIL ROCK!! Then I found the Lost Woods and found some strange skull kids, but couldn't do anything with them. On returning to the Kokiri forest, I went back to the training grounds, just for a turkish, and then found a SECRET PASSAGE!

Rar!! Then I had to go through a bit of a maze thing with a ROLLING STONE (not the scary one, just a huge deadly stone of death) and then CHEERS CHEERS I found the Kokiri sword! K-grebt! On escaping I was very impressed with the Jump Attack but I am still not very good at the FITE!

HAHA in your FACE Mido, I haf equipped a SWORD and a SHIELD. I then wandered along to the poor old cursed GRATE DEKU TREE - poor Deku tree! And then I found lots of deadly plants haha ph34r m3 plantZoR for I kicked their ass. Then I got deku stixx0r and deku nuts and a slingshot, kblimey. I found a compass and map, and fought a horrible scary spider thing by attacking it's BELLY.

I then ASCENDED something and then decided cor blimey I am knackered and Help I'm a Sleb Get Me Out Of Here was on, so I saved the game and watched Tara PT being a mentalist.

Zelda is better now than I thought it was. HAHA!

*slashes KICK ASS Kokiri sword*!

My fairy is very cute.

When I got the sword I was very happy that FINALLY I could cut the cockfarming grass in front of Sarias house.

The Lost Woods are a pain in the knickers too. Can I do anything there now I have a sword? I feel mean attacking the skull kidZoR with my SWORD as they have done nothing to me.

Oh hahaha when I beat up the evil scrub plant and it told me a hint in order for me not to kill it I felt OH SO IN CONTROL - give me POWER!! POWER!!!

and Link is such a little cutie! i heart the "opening treasure chest" sequence.

Yes yes you are so right! I love it when Navi says "listen"!!!

And the way he kicks his legs and nearly falls into the treasure chest! Yayee!

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :-) x1000

Do you think anyone else is at all interested? or, "making private e-mail exchanges public, classic or dudddd?"

i like the way bill the demon goes pink when he dies, even in the green and blue rings of hell

Ooh the spiderzz0r go pink when they die as well HA HA I dislike the spiders, they are evil.

Z Targeting is proving a bit handy but still a bit fiddly.

I feel very sad whenever Link dies!

And when he gets hurt there is such a SCREAM of pain!

Waaaaaaaaaaa poor Link, what I put him through for kicks.

I remember when I owned this game. Not in the sense that I purchased it (though I did) but I OWNED it. OwnXoRed, if you will. Now I can only vaguely remember which bits are in the first and which are in the sequel. The sequel also rules.

Can you do it on email you swines so that I dont get spoilers for when I play it??

So it's true that you sit at the center of the web, and all the information comes scrolling past, while you sit like Alex from Clockwork Orange?

Obviously if it is, you're excused from replying.

Tom you sit and watch me play it anyway!!

For some reason i just had the image of Tom as the Great Deku Tree. which is wrong.

No Tom I want to hear! I get the feeling this will eventually rank up with the colon-flushing article as one of the best things I've read in years.

Sarah Sarah the one consolation to faffing about in the Lost Woods forever (and don't worry, you'll figure it out quite quickly) is that you get to hear SARIA'S SONG, which is perhaps the best piece of video game music ever written. LEEsten!

Heeeee!! LEEEsen!!! I 3> Navi although "who are you calling a fairy" hur hur hur.

Hmmm the skull kidZ0r said that maybe they should do something so I am guessing I have to bring them something, do I need to bring them an instrument so they sing me a song?

you have much to learn young Link

PI! I dunno!! Or maybe they sing cos they are happy when I cure the Great Deku Tree!

So, have you given the GDT a hand with that spot of bother he was having?

No not yet, I am still climbing up his interior walls (ahem poo ur gosh) and haf fought a few evil scary spiderzzzz. Gosh I am such a cute little pixie.

YAAH! *jump attack*!

Oh my GOD! This is the greatest thread ever. Can it have its own board? I Lub Zeldas.

LEEsen!!!! Saria's Song *melts into the lukewarmth buttery slop of time fricting against denser time*...

Goron! They're called the Goron for crucks' sake. And they do this wobbly huh when they awake from their huddle-as-rock slumber. And, and, and... God, for some reasons I'm really happy Tom is going to play this, and even more happy that Sarah and Alan have played it. The name of the horse. My god, what a name.

JUMP ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES, YOU ARE SOOOOOOO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

David I appreciate your being influenced by my innovative six-posts-in-a-row stylings, but DON'T TALK AHEAD OF WHERE SARAH IS IN THE GAME!

Imagine when she founds the whole world there is outside that damn village and finally gets big! Horseriding throughout the country CLASSIC

Oh, bugger. Yeh. OH. It is all one mine-meld for me, an amorphous map of loveliness. But, yeh, Sarah: sorry. God.

It's a secret to everyone.

Right then hello chaps and welcome to todays Starry Zelder update!

I am still faffing about in the GRATE DEKU TREE to yer GRATE DISAPPOINTMENT no doubt - but I managed to kill a *gold skulllalalala* or something and got a token to prove it, with hints from Alang I broke out of the room with iron bars, and then wandered about a bit, as I gather I am supposed to go into the basement of the GRATE DEKU TREE but I do not know how...

(hahaha I shall take the ring to Mordor but I do not know the way)!

Oh yeah and no HUGE GIANT SPOILAZZ please!!

I mean SHEESH. Where is the damn entrance to the basement?? Navi told me that when I was on the spiders web on the ground floor to look down and I could see stuff but I dunno how to hack through the web! Possibly I am thinking now there is another BACK ENTRANCE (hur hur) to the GRATE DEKU TREE which I shd search for...

Actually.

A HEM - nabitsuh. Remember these words: "Saria's song"? Thanks MUCH, fucker.

just tell me if link has pink hair in this adventure... he did on SNES Zelda, and was truly funky with it.

after reading this thread yesterday morning, my head was filled all day with "z0r" talk and such

LEEEsten!!

*kicks legs frantically*

David I thought ... oh, you're right, I got the order mixed up. But not as bad as talking about Gorons! I mean, at least she's met Saria!

Anyway so Sarah how do people usually wind up getting through real spiderwebs?

if you can't figure out the spiderweb good luck in the water temple...haha

(I dunno, Jack, I remember the spiderweb messing with me for a little while. But I think this was because I'd somehow noticed my roommate using the ... ahem ... later-on technique for spiderweb removal? You know? And so it didn't occur to me that I was meant to do that first one in a slightly simpler fashion. Unless I'm misremembering this whole thing?)

Also SARAH: it's a very big game, so if you get stuck for a really long time on anything, don't be afraid to just look up the solution. Obviously you don't want to do that more than a few times, but the game is expansive enough that a few helpful answers won't ruin much of the fun.

if you hear navi saying "hey!" or flying around, it means that there she has something to say....when you are in the deku tree she describes that particular technique needed to deal with the spiderweb...also use navi when you're at a boss, she will give hints too if you can't figure it out how to beat it

was it hey or listen? anyways, it's no coincidence that navi -----> navigator

I just re-bought it (my li'l bro selt my last one at a carbootsale). Second hand: the save name files:

CORRey
Eck
Beef

Beef and Eck was rub at this game so they're deleted. I kept CORRey in case I get bored with the early stages.

Save games on Second Hand Games = CLASSIC.

It's more "LiHSsun" than "LEEsen".

Right then you cockfarmers, of course I figured out how to get through the spiders webs!

OOhhh but the poor Deku tree! I kickz0red arse of the strange spider mentalist on the first attempt and got my extra Heart container, yay! B-b-but the poor Deku tree turned to stone! And when I ran away but Navi stayed being sad... awwww!

It is annoying how each time you save and go back you wake up back in the Kokiri village - grrr. Anyway, I got through the castle and learnt Zeldas lullaby and now I am in the village before the MOUNTAIN OF DEATH running about after chickens. Bloody chickens! I've also been to the graveyard and played Zeldas lullaby to open the tomb of the Royal Family but am not sure what do do in there yet. I am guessing, light the unlit torches and hem hem, shine light on the undead, but I don't know how. I also don't know how to get the chicken out of the box OR get the chicken that is on the roof. GAH!

And is there something you have to do with the men that keep running about?

Haha I like the gravedigger dude though.

OH and I need empty bottles to catch ghosts in. I was nearly killed by ghosts (but don't worry I am hard and kickxx0red ass). Stupid ghosts.

Hint?

Also Navi keeps saying "what wd Saria say if she knew we were going to save Hyrule" - do you think that might be a hint that Link and Saria will be UP A TREE later on?? Hee!

Zelda is a bit of a hippy I think, but as for her dominatrix bodyguard woman, COR!

So many things to see and do. chickuns! etc. so many possible things to hint at. what are you trying to do? you've got the lovely green jewelly thing from the Deku Tree spider beast effort, where next on your quest?

Also classic are the Banjo Tooie pisstakes of the End of Level boss "posturing" and silly names. ha ha.

Well to go up death mountain, innit! But the road is closed so I am guessing I have to do more villagey stuff. I reckon you get an extra heart container if you save that birds chickens. But there are some I just can't get! CHIZ!

the road is closed? surely not to a brave adventuring pixie boy that Princess Zelda herself is relying on! say it ain't so!

A brave adventuring fecking CHICKEN finder.

I have no idea how to reach the geezer chicken on the roof.

Poor house of Skulltula though! I shall free their curse!! Oh yes!!

Sarah you had a very productive weekend on this, I'm quite proud.

Possibly the hint you're looking for: Earth chickens are flightless. You are in Hyrule.

I can't remember, it's a yellow mask? Might be a rabbit?

I can't really remember, but one assumes one got the poachers sword from a poacher. I remember I had a vague race against time thing with some potions, which I won, I got the sword and er... that appeared to be it. Hmmm.

Poachers SAW, obv. I == arse...

Do you really want to know what to do with the Poacher's Saw? It's incidental to a greater (ultimately, inessential) mini-quest within the game which leads to the greatest item. I can't remember offhand what you do with it, except you give it to someone, and this triggers off a whole chain of events culminating in GREATNESS.

SARAH!!! You've started me playing this through again now!

I think Sarah should have to preface non-rhetorical questions with "I BESEECH THEE, OH GREAT ILE"

I'll probably end up playing it again when I get the free copy with new Zelda, but only after I'm finished the real one.

No, Sarah, that's not at all what the spoiler was. Way off-base. Nothing of the sort.

(I'm sorry, you were supposed to breeze right past my post and not notice anything. I still blame Cozen for calling attention to it.)

OK OK I admit it I briefly looked at gamefaqs.com to see what you do, and now I am content that I am not supposed to be doing anything with it yet. Hooray and huzzah for me!! I didn't look up the rabbit mask though.

I must play Zelda tonight. I was going to play it last night but I was distracted by Scrabble and pie. I wish you could have words like "hyrule" and "navithefairy" and "HACKSLAHHIIIIIIIYAH"!!! And "Goron". God I was so happy when I went back to the Gorons gaff as a growed up and met a baby Goron called Starry! ROCK!! And when you free the Gorons! The way they happily run off into the light!!!

For the record: I still blame nabisco for having something there to draw 'attention to'.

For the record, you still suck.

:(

Play nice, nabitsuh.

OH! MY! GOD!

(Jel to thread. Actually, there should probably be a separate thread for new Zelda talk so as not to upset Sarah or nitritsuh.)

oh yeah, new zelda is out, isn't it? hoorah! Must try and get it tomorrow.

Upset? Dude, I've seen plenty of new-Zelda, it's GRATE.

Right then kids due to HOUSE MOVE the Zelda Beast is not equipped but I shall EQUIP it tonight and try and get to the Water Temple. I thought I would find it in the bit where Lord Jabu Jabu was but all I found was the scary GIANT FAIRY who is a bit of a SAUCY WENCH yesno? She gave me a spell... some form of WARP SPELL as I recall which I did not quite understand to be honest but quite frankly I was intimidated by her STRANGE FAERIE TITS so hurried up and saved the game.

I think I still have to faff about in his belly don't I.

Does DINS FIRE ever become a k-useful spell? I tried to thaw out KING ZORA with it but it did not work :(

I only meant to check the thread to see if I had mentioned my happiness at the birth of the GRATE DEKU SPROUT!!!

Still haven't got the bloody horse.

I'm stuck, walking around with a barrel on my head, but these stupid guards can still see me.

The new Zelda is huge. I'm 17 hours in and about 5/9ths through the main quest but there's so many other things to find. (You're on the Forsaken Fortress, right, jel?)

yep, the poxy forsaken fortress, I keep getting thrown in jail (i've only played a couple of hours so far).

Yr in for so much fun jel - it is the best game I've ever played - better than Ocarina - though this may be the Shock of the New talking - why didn't they bundle Majora's Mask in with it? :(

Those fortress guards look like crosses between Jabba the Hut's Nixonish flunkies and PUMBA.

Pardon me, Pumbaa.

Yeah, the character animations are totally conflicted: by which I mean the models' builds are an egregious mix of two clashingly different styles: the enemies are predominantly, heavy-detailed pseudo-Disney types whereas townfolks on Outset Island and the like are more spartan skelf-like, pointy-jaggedy Zelda-specific types...

It really is beautiful.

It really is a beautiful game.

Guys - start a new Zelda thread pls for Wind Waker chad! That or lend me yr Gamecube?? Please?

OOOH yesterday I found the ICE CAVERN! There are lots of ICE MONSTERS that form from cold breath and whack you into a big block of ICE until you HACK yr way out YAH! I also found a "blue unnatural flame" (cheers Navi the Fairy) which I stored in a BOTTLE and then thawed out a bunch of red ice. Grand! Grrr those ICE MONSTERS are evil. And as for the evil blue bats that set you on fire as well - they are the ENEMY and were making me very annoyed until the deployment of the BOW AND ARROW.

Shot through the heart! And I'm to blame! They give Hyrule! A BAD NAME!

So anyway I unthaw King Zora and you think he'd be grateful but now he's just banging on about Princess Ru(b)to AGANE. Oh but I did get a lovely new FROCK from him in this winters shade of BLOO. Score!

But then I was tired and grumpy and full of TACO so I went to bed after saving. I guess I am going to go to Lord JJ's manor again and swim about a bit to see if there's anything to do round there. Or am I barking up the wrong Greek? There's not much else to do in the Ice Cavern as far as I can see. Apart from the satisfaction of killing the evil freezer pops.

Yay! Did you get some nice (un)matching footwear for your dress?

No!! How does King Zora expect a grown up pixie to accessorise without SHOES!

I haf no shoes apart from my KOKIRI BOOTIES.

Zelda Wind Waker thread

Hahaha LINK TURNS GOTH SHOCKER - I found some IRON BOOTS which are so obviously New Rocks that it's not even funny.

Oh I tell a lie, it's hilarious. Run through the Water Temple my little Goth Link! Hm I am now PONDERING in the Water Temple, after changing the water level three times and getting the compass/map ect ect I now seem to be back to where I started. I hope I do not have to map it myself so I can remember what on earth is where. I shall SCOUR the map to try and find out where I need to go.

I tell you what, I am MOST ANGRY that those spider geezers from DEATH MOUNTAIN VALLEY are in the water temple. They keep jumping on me when I'm in the water and I can't fight them, and THEN jump on me as I'm trying to climb out of the water grrrr.

Oh good grief. I just looked briefly ahead to see if I was missing anything OBV on the Water Temple and HUGE GIANT **DARK** SPOILER!! I immediately hid it but AGRHGHARGHAGHRAFHR I HAVE LEART MY LESSON kill me now

WALKTHROUGHS SUCK BIG TIME. I'm sure if you ask for hints here you'd have a more entertaining and annoying time of it in the long run -- which is what we all want, right?

Yes yes yes yes but I'm cold and have goose pimples and all I wanted to know was if that block I moved was the thing that had to be changed and then they RUINED it and *cry*

If you have a walkthrough in the house bring it into work and hide it somewhere, or put it somewhere that it's a chore to get to. The feeling of finally twigging what to do, or realising it while doing something else, is more than worth an hour of flapping around, in my opinion. If I'd had a walkthrough for The Wind Waker I would have used it a lot more, and I'd have been less happy, in my opinion.

Also, y'know, what are we, chopped liver?

No walkthroughs in the house. Also yesterday I was stuck a lot whilst recovering from mean panic attack and horribleness without you lot to help so HEY I HAVE AN EXCUSE! Ok not a very good one but there you go.

Ah well I shall play again tonight and faff about for a bit longer and then get to the MASSIVELY SPOILERED BIT argrhghh *staples hand to forehead*

You want to watch that, that could get infected.

Sarah?

I got the HORSE!!! I love the way you stand outside and play his song and then you hear the neighs and the horse runs up behind you!

Now it is grebt cos I am in GERUDO FORTRESS I believe. Haha! There are WARRIOR WIMMIN there who keep arresting me. I put my hands up and let them cart me away. I feel like a cross between the SWEENY and Open All Hours, cheeky pixie, OI OI! However I am rather SHOCKED as this is the first time where you actually kill REAL ACTUAL HUMANGS with BLUD and stuff. Rather shocking. Brings the HORROR to you, really!

Although fighting Shadow STARRY/link was GRATE FUN! However it was really blooming obvious how to beat him, I wish I'd hung about for a little longer and had fun but no WHACK with the hammer and SCREW YOU WATER TEMPLE!

Phew, not in wedlock to Ruto eh?

I thought the arrows you used in Gerudo fortress were of the non-lethal variety (cf. Metal Gear Solid 1 + 2).

Since IIRC the guards wake up after a while.

it is shoXoRing when you have to shoot the gerudo wimmin, but then, yes, you notice the spiral of "KO" stars above the laydeez in question and they do indeed get back up and you go "phew" and then FUCKSOCKS as they blow the whistle again and you are back in pokey.

Sarah, how many medallions have you got left to get, one or two?

I are the worslt at this game. I beat the picture of Dorian Ganondork and left for the next stage w/o picking up the heart piece because as I defended myself to my friends, I DIDN'T SEE NO HEART PIECE AFTER I BEAT THE BOSS.

I followed a sodding walkthrough which is telling me to do the Shadow Temple first - I kind of resent that, so now I've got the lens of truth but I'm going to go back to the Gerudo Valley anyway AS THAT IS WHAT THE GAME SAYS! Nearly bloody there!! I did super-well, was fighting a guard, loads of health left, then I collapse after losing two hearts and BACK IN CHOKEY! Bitch.

LOOK AT THE "LINK" (ahahahahha) above! It's FUNNY! Esp when he sings along to Saria's song ahahaha.

k-blimey, yes you DO need to go to the shadow temple. also have you sorted out the song that the guy in the windmill is playing?

great movie - BLOG IT

Yep, and I've been down the creepy well, fought the strange dead hands guy and so. This lens of truth looks hard on the old magic meter though, is there a way to extend it like there is in Wind Waker?

Hm so you reckon I should do shadow temple first too? My map still doesn't indicate anything in Kakariko to do, but I've done the cut scene where the bad mojo has been released.

ah the bad mojo - I'm pretty sure that means you learned the song from yer man with the fringe, which means you can get to the temple in NO TIME FLAT ( though I think it helps to have something that can do impressive fire-y things).

Dins fire?

OR do you mean the flying fire from Lake Hylia?