Total Recall: The Best of ILM

This is the thread where you quote the wittiest passages from all prior postings - best coinage of new word, dumbest post ever & best response, etc..
Don't post links - no one wants to follow a stupid link goddammitawl .. post the quote ...

-- dave225 (adspace@sprynet.com) (webmail), December 9th, 2002 9:00 PM.

LISTEN ME BREDRIN IM BEEN LONG TIME ON STRATFORD REX, MY BREDRIN RUDEBOY WESLEY TELL ME BOUT DEM CHICHI BOY LIKE YOU. TRY STEP TO ME ILL DICE U UP FASS.

DONT TEST EAST LONDON NIGGAZ TRUS YOU FASSYMAN DONT NAH NUTTIN U THINK BRIXTON HOME OF YARDA. ONLY YARDA BWOY DOWN THAT SLUM BE DEM HEROIN FASS DAT SO SKINNY FROM ALL DAT CHICHI SEX DAY HAVE.

SEN?

-- HUNTA-D (thuggedoutbitch@paradise.net.nz), May 6th, 2002

-- mark s (mark@evazev.demon.co.uk), March 21st, 2002 5:00 PM.

Reinventing one's own self is the true mark of only the finest artists. Bowie, Madonna, Alain Jorgensen, Prince, Dylan; all have this ability, but won't have the opportunity to bring true art to the forefront of music culture.The White Stripes, The Hives, The Vines; all one trick ponys. They may have some good songs in them, but never, will they have the ability to save us from the PinkSpearedTimberShakiraLakes polluting the tastes of youth.

Not a single soul that witnessed the resurrection of the almighty Guns n' Roses could resist the urge to involuntarily exclaim "Holy $#!T", or something along those lines. Now, step out of your jaded musicologist shoes, and step into a 15-year-old's sneakers. This "Holy $#!T" moment in their impressionable mind is of a magnitude you and I cannot imagine. When those shoes walk into their local mall tomorrow, they are going to buy Appetite For Destruction.

For the first time in the 21st century, rock and roll music has made real noise. It was made by Guns n Roses. It doesn't matter whether or not you think they sucked.

Rock and roll is back. Now lets just sit back and listen to the aftermath.

KORITFW
DJ Sonic Jesus

-- DJ Sonic Jesus (djsonicjesus@aol.com), August 30th, 2002.

Cos I do. Nice one Graham!

-- RickyT (boyofbadgers@yahoo.com), July 23rd, 2002 5:48 AM.

-- Kris (branch_rickey@hotmail.com), May 14th, 2001.

I *heart* You, sweetness! : P

-- John B (jber3333@aol.com), December 10th, 2002.

does anyone here know the story of how Foghat got their name, BTW? it's a good one - they were playing scrabble & 1 of 'em had the letters F,O,G,H,A,T & tried to claim it as a word. I don't know why that cracks me up so much, I guess I just like the thought of the kind of guys who'd call their band FOGHAT sitting round playing Scrabble...
-- duane (pfaigan@zfree.co.nz), July 11th, 2001.

-- Motel Hell (motelhell@aol.com) (webmail), July 8th, 2002.

-- mark s (mark@e...), December 31st, 2001.

(+ ex-ante and ex-post rationalisations of above)

-- ethan (eth...), October 17th, 2001.

-- ethan (ethanp@b...), November 2nd, 2001

That was me. I just thought it was a little narcissistic for Nelly to write a duet in which a female character gets to say "Nelly, I love you" several times. :-)

That's the best post, right after HUNTA-D.

when tom said i shouldnt like the brandy song because it was straight on a thing like my despised co flow he was completely
wrong cause the lick to that was that it handheld the unemployed & flatbusted sf beats thing and mindwiped the 'rap n bullshit' hate
for lovey brandy on top, then grindin hit and i started to think about the old s reynolds cann ox vv piece where he predicts a new
rap grunge movement with dirty organic-ed out ruggedness instead of techno bladey shit, so wheres this style headed at? i mean
this shit isnt bring da ruckus, it isnt how about some hardcore, its like fuckin bridge is over and south bronx!!! (ok grindin more
than brandy but i think sb is the time travel child of both) is this even a good idea, i like eighties lush fake shit more than all the
dirty simp rock that eliminated it but im getting a little tired of like cartoon orchestral overproduction, el ps major flaw wasnt beats
but RHYMES cause i love rough shit, ahhh the sour intensity! i dunno im not really saying right what i mean but ill get back to
yall on it, just talk on it for now

-- simon trife (#@(((), September 25th, 2002

-- Simpson. (simpson@h...), July 28th, 2002.

"Morrissey sang for people that stand alone and sad in a dark sofa of a bad disco wanting to be million light years away from there..."
Is that YOU over there in the gloom, Pinefox?

-- Dr. C (Dave...), October 3rd, 2001 2:00 AM. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No. To be honest I didn't quite understand that last post, though I think its intentions were good.
-- the pinefox (pine...), October 4th, 2001 2:00 AM. (link)

-- Alex in NYC (vass...), October 4th, 2002 4:21 PM.

-- toraneko (torakoneko@hotmail.com) (webmail), December 13th, 2002 3:07 PM. (toraneko) (link)

Well, I thought it was hilarious anyway!

-- As random (gcbv@yahoo.com), January 25th, 2002 8:00 PM.

-- Tom (ebros@netco..), December 3rd, 2001.

Oh, come off ¡t. Th¡s ¡z not what ¡ want from a d¡va. "Look at my rox0rs/you can't afford them/because you are a loser". That ¡z more l¡ke ¡t

-- N0RM4N PH4Y (k-r4d@faycycle.demon.co.uk), November 4th, 2002.

hey! sterling didn't say "but she does!", i did.

-- amusing fake irish accent (doorag@eudoramail.com) (webmail), December 14th, 2002 3:14 AM. (doorag) (link)

Just made me choke on an olive stone through laughing and deserves to be enshrined here.

Self-Referencing In Songs - Classic or Dud?

It was classic in the '70s, when Steely Dan did it in "Show Biz Kids" ("they got the shapely bodies / they got the Steely Dan t-shirt"). It was kinda unusual back then. And Bo Diddley used to reference himself all the time.

Of course, now every damn hip-hop song has a reference to the artist that performed it. (BTW, speaking of conceited: "Nelly I... love you...")

-- Jody Beth Rosen (editor@southsi...), October 1st, 2002.

but she does!

-- michael wells (wellsmj1@hotma..), October 1st, 2002.

And then a little later:

"my name is prince / and i am funky."

But he is!

-- Jody Beth Rosen (editor@southsidec..), October 1st, 2002.

-- Sterling Clover (s_clover@empty.org), May 27th, 2002.

Most breathless post? This guy must be some kind of poet or something.

>I met David Byrne in New York recently. We were riffing casually on the brilliance of Brazilian avant bossa man Tom Ze when suddenly I noticed that David's hand was on my knee. 'David, are you gay?' I blurted. He leaped up onto the bar and, lit by a pink follow spot, began to dance a stick-man samba, periodically buffeted by imaginary blasts of hot wind. He looked like an epileptic flamingo. Franz Kafka, who was standing nearby sucking on a strawberry sour, turned to me and said 'That man certainly can make flippy floppy'.
-- Momus (nick@m...), June 28th, 2001.

-- Marcello Carlin (markca...), May 24th, 2001.

-- Ned Raggett (ned@kuci.org) (webmail), August 26th, 2002 9:58 PM.

This is because Chuck Eddy is secretly the Monkey King.
-- Lord Custos Omega (LordCustos@att.net), December 18th, 2002.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6@mail.dcu.ie), December 19th, 2002 4:13 PM.

By the way, have I mentioned that I'm in Tokyo? Today I was cycling through Setagaya. My girlfriend, twenty metres behind, heard a bunch of Japanese youths exclaiming 'That was Momus, on that orange bicycle! Can you believe it? In Setagaya!' For them, you see, Setagaya is humdrum and Momus is exotic. For Momus, the opposite is true.

By the same token, the I Love Music board, for me, is glamour itself, however ludicrous a figure I cut, pedalling past on my orange opinions.
-- Momus (nick@momus.demon.co.uk), May 20th, 2001.