Singles ILM Would Have Gone Mental For Had It But Existed

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This is the thread where we talk about which old records ILM would have gone most crazy over had it existed back when they were first released. What sort of arguments would have been had? Which great songs would we have overlooked, which stinkers would we have overpraised, and where would we have been most ahead of the game?

(Inspired by actually thinking "God ILM would have loved this" when listening to Frankie Goes To Hollywood)

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 12:16 (twenty-three years ago)

ahem.

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 12:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes that's exactly the sort of thing!

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 12:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Sugar Sugar by the Archies. This is the living embodiment of the bubblegum ideal. It is the most perfect expression of everything that I love about music (that is not the Holy Mountain, which is my new Perfect Expression Of Everything I Love About Music This Week).

― kate, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Pump Up The Volume, possibly. Supplemented by a very long and impeccably-reasoned Tim Finney post about what a significant record it is, taking samples to the top of the charts etc etc.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Fuzzbox 'International Rescue', 'Pink Sunshine'

Kriss Kross 'Jump'

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:10 (twenty-three years ago)

KLF obviously

and it wouldve been interested to see the reactions/opinions of the Prodigy over the years among a transatlantic crowd of 18-30 year olds for sure

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I think that ILM should record a single, and follow The Manual and see if we really *can* get it to number one. Is anyone game?

― kate, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:21 (twenty-three years ago)

i know someone who in fact did follow the manual. rousing success. bill drummond is a genius, etc, etc.

― robotman, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I think ILM would've gone mad for White Town's 'Your Woman', if only because Jyoti could well have been a regular back then.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:24 (twenty-three years ago)

What, the Cheeky Girls? ;-)

― kate, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:24 (twenty-three years ago)

What if Olivia Newton John had worn a Stooges T-shirt?

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:25 (twenty-three years ago)

hahaha - not saying.

what about keith partridge wearing a new york dolls t-shirt?

― robotman, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:27 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd much rather see Bobby Gillespie wearing an Archies t-shirt.

― kate, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Nu Shooz, "Should I Say Yes." Sparkly '80s 808 girl-pop, light as a feather, and as pretty as it gets...download right now!

― s woods, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 13:51 (twenty-three years ago)

It's too obvious, perhaps, but "Bring The Noise." I remember reading the "Bombs Over Baghdad" thread (that was maybe the 2nd ILM thread ever) and thinking from the descriptions (having never heard the track), "Wow, this must be like an updated P.E." which seemed very exciting.

― Mark (MarkR), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:02 (twenty-three years ago)

"Heartbeat (It's A Lovebeat)"
"God Save the Queen"
"Double Dutch Bus"
"I Need Love"
"Vogue"

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:08 (twenty-three years ago)

"Walking Back To Happiness" Helen Shapiro.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Surfin' Bird!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

The Entertainer!

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:22 (twenty-three years ago)

"Love Hangover"
"Public Image"
"Our House"
"Nasty"
"Bust a Move"
"All Around the World"

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Shampoo - Trouble.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:26 (twenty-three years ago)

"I Feel Love"
"Part Time Punks"
"Don't Stop Til You Get Enough"
"Call Me"
"Let the Music Play"
"Sugar Walls"
"Lesson Three"
"How Ya Like Me Now"
"Buffalo Stance"
"No Diggity"

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Buffalo Stance - Neneh Cherry

― JoB (JoB), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh God, that Shampoo song definitely would have spurred conversation. Ick.

I would have started threads about the following:

"The Days Of Swine And Roses" - My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
"The Choke" - Skinny Puppy
"Just Like Heaven" - The Cure
"Shake The Disease" - Depeche Mode
"Nemesis" - Shriekback
"This Corrosion" - Sisters of Mercy
"Tower of Strength" - The Mission (UK)
"Then" - Charlatans (UK)
"Under The Milky Way" - The Church
"Let Me Be The One" - Expose
"Get Up (Before The Night Is Over)" - Technotronic
"Pump Up The Volume" - M/A/R/R/S
"Big Car" - Severed Heads
"Breathless" - SPK
"Everyday Is Halloween" - Ministry
"If I Was Your Girlfriend" - Prince
"Alphabet Street" - Prince
"Getting Closer" - Nitzer Ebb
"Let's Go All The Way" - Sly Fox

I'd better stop, because I could just go on and on and on...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Buffalo Stance is easily one of the greatest singles ever!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, and don't get me started on stuff like Acen, Altern8, early Prodigy, etc etc etc. "Weekend" by DJ Dick!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:05 (twenty-three years ago)

"She Loves You"
"Waterloo"
"Miss You"
"Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue"
"I'm Coming Out"
"Shake Your Love"
"Goin Back to Cali"
"Where the Streets Have No Name / Can't Take My Eyes Off of You"
"Cannonball"
"Your Woman"
"How Bizarre"

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Bang zoom (let's go go) - The Real Roxanne featuring Hitman Howie Tee (I think).

All the new pop and ZTT stuff.

Girls and Boys by Blur.

Popcorn by Hot Butter.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:24 (twenty-three years ago)

If ILM existed in the summer of `84 when "Eighties" by Killing Joke was unleashed, you'd *ALL* be HONORING THE FIRE today, dagnabbit!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

betty boo - doin' the do
banarama - robert deniro's waiting
the fun boy 3 - the lunatics
slick rick - children's story

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:40 (twenty-three years ago)

it would have been fun to talk about "Love is Strange" when it came out - the format, like a boy-girl sing-to-each-other thing, and the disarmingly simple-sounding sentiment whose lyrics pull it deeper than the deepest mystery. "lots of peeeeee-ee-pul - take it for a game!" and then they go ahead and play a game with it! it's meta! it's sincere! round n around we go (also the singers both sound crushingly cute)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:47 (twenty-three years ago)

i miss Slick Rick

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 16:48 (twenty-three years ago)

bohemian rhapsody by queen

― gi66y, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 17:23 (twenty-three years ago)

The pre-Sullivan Beatles - afterward, they would've been too uniquitous and wrongly marketed. We'd pick back up on them around _Beatles for Sale_, though.

― mike a (mike a), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 17:43 (twenty-three years ago)

(Don't mean to interrupt, but for those of you that have something in mind, could you compare to a current-day track or artist in terms of how ILM would have received it? E.g. I could help but think "Shampoo would have gotten something pretty close to the Avril Lavigne treatment, wouldn't they.")

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 17:44 (twenty-three years ago)

WHAT DOES GOOGOOGAJOOB MEAN??!?!!1!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Any number of Beach Boys singles.

― mike a (mike a), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 17:51 (twenty-three years ago)

eric b & rakim - follow the leader wd be the all-time top points scorer in the focus group.

― michael wells (michael w.), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)

(haha Nabisco, for some reason I thoughtI wrote that! But I didn't! I was defintiely thinking that, hence the "Ick".)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 18:30 (twenty-three years ago)

"WHAT DOES GOOGOOGAJOOB MEAN??!?!"

Ask Lewis Carroll.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

"What A Wonderful World", Louis Armstrong
"Walk Don't Run", The Ventures

... to compare to 'a current-day track or artist'??

i'd like to think that today's/ yesterday's surf-punkers would NOT be seen as The Ventures equivalents, actually!
& as for "Wonderful World" & Armstrong - hm, perhaps Dave Douglas really will reveal some day that he's been a closet vocalist all along!?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Would Blondie have gotten the Strokes treatment? ("They're just a bunch of teen-idol wannabes pretending to cop the look and feel of the real CBGB's scene, you should listen to Television.")

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:40 (twenty-three years ago)

"Ice Ice Baby", no question. Also "Sussudio" and "Electric Youth". "Sledgehammer", obviously.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:48 (twenty-three years ago)

"Heaven is a place on Earth" - Belinda Carlise
"Star Trekin'" - The Firm
"Bat out of Hell" - Meatloaf

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Jel have you heard Star Trekkin recently??

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Gypsy Woman" - Crystal Waters! Imagine the schism!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:01 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah Tom! I heard it on VH1 a few weeks ago, I think it's be like one of those bob the builder things, or everyone would go "it's rubbish, a nadir, how much further can pop fall?" asnd I'd go, "I like it".

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyway, my other choice would be "really saying something" or "venus" by bananarma.

As, it marks the start of Stock, Aitken and Waterman period of chart domination. I think.

Probably the best band to not have a number one in the eighties.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 20:15 (twenty-three years ago)

'I'd Rather Jack'!!!

I don't know about most of these though. I mean, you had your chance with Panjabi MC, but did you take it? No.

― DavidM (DavidM), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 21:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely we'd be talking of Shampoo in similair terms to Daphne and Celeste? Alanis would have got the Avril treatment wouldn't she?

I bloody love 'We'd rather Jack': "Golden oldies, Rolling Stones, we don't want you back, We'd rather jack, than Fleetwood Mac." Possible ILM catchphrase.

I'd forgotten about 'Bang Zoom, Let's Go Go', Does anyone remember that track 'Boops (Here To Go)' by Sly and Robbie, same sort of time I think.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

The best single ever...
Haysi Fantazee- Shiny, Shiny
The 80's brethen of Milli Vanilli. Hard to believe someone would release something this bad.

― brg30 (brg30), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 00:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Mozart v. Salieri: FITE!
Franz Schubert: Search/Destroy
Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique: Most obvious evidence of artist drug use 'spiralling out of control'
Ornette Coleman's Free Jazz: What's the Most Unacceptable Thing That's Ever Come Out of Yer Brass (Instrument)?
Opera Goes Straight to the Ghetto -- Puccini's La Bohème
Is Richard Wagner a Likeable Prat?
Stop the Presses! Revise the Canon! Lost Bach Fugues Found!
Ever Notice that Stravinsky's Rite of Spring and Prokofiev's Scynthian Suite have the same intro?
Ye Olde Tone-Poem Nostalgia: Rachmaninoff and Strauss (in the Age of Schoenberg- and Webern-style atonalism)

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 00:40 (twenty-three years ago)

(Tad -- great! i'll go and do an ilm-search on Uri Caine now! 8-) )

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 01:03 (twenty-three years ago)

THE CARS!

― pina, Wednesday, 29 January 2003 02:01 (twenty-three years ago)

"Eternal Flame" would have gotten Dan-hate for vocal reasons and a love/hate split elsewhise.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 06:36 (twenty-three years ago)

BOSTON - MORE THAN A FEELING!

You know you would've.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 10:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking Sides: Debbie Gibson 'Only In My Dreams' vs Tiffany 'Couldve Been'

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 10:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Sterling, where have you BEEN? I've had many public arguments over how great "Eternal Flame" is, particularly the singing!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 14:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking Sides: the iliad vs the aenead

― gi66y, Wednesday, 29 January 2003 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

WHO UP IN THIS BITCH HAS THE LYRICS TO HESIOD'S WORK AND DAYS?

― gi66y, Wednesday, 29 January 2003 17:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Sterling, where have you BEEN? I've had many public arguments over how great "Eternal Flame" is, particularly the singing!

A sign of dementia. I love you nonetheless.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 17:51 (twenty-three years ago)

How about The Meatls 'Meatls is murder'?

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There'd have been LOTS of threads about XTC, I think. And Scritti obv. But I can only imagine they'd have been debated in rockist terms since that's all I knew about back then.

― Jeff W, Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:29 (twenty-three years ago)

mike a is disturbingly otm about the beatles above

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

so er, in terms of singles, re my prev post:
"Senses Working Overtime", "...Farmboy's Wages" and "Great Fire" for XTC
"Asylums"/"Jacques Derrida", "Wood Beez", "Hypnotize" for Scritti
would have generated the most heated debates probably.

― Jeff W, Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

i would have started threads in defence of "here I go again".

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

"What do yo think of The Babys? I saw them on Merv Griffin yesterday - "Isn't it Time" is classic!"

"Calm down there, dude. They won't be around in five years, the bunch of posers - All they have going for them is a good-looking singer and some power chords."

"Exactly. F*ckin' classic."

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 30 January 2003 12:34 (twenty-three years ago)

George Baker Selection-"Little Green Bag". But I can't think of the perfect 21st Century equivalent. Phoenix's "Funky Squaredance", maybe.

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 30 January 2003 15:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Westworld's "Sonic Boom Boy" would've brought pretty much EVERYONE out waving flags, blowing noisemakers and generally causing a joysome kerfuffle in the name of daft pop.

However, Aztec Camera's "Good Morning Britain" would've garnered scant praise, arriving too long after the above. Mebbes.

― Charlie (Charlie), Monday, 3 February 2003 06:43 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

White Lines (Don't Don't Do It), by Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five.

― Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 8 July 2008 02:37 (seventeen years ago)

^ this is my ringtone

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 8 July 2008 03:23 (seventeen years ago)

the Coldcut remix of "Paid in Full"

― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 8 July 2008 04:15 (seventeen years ago)

Anette Funicello with the Beach Boys - The Monkey's Uncle

― zeus, Tuesday, 8 July 2008 12:43 (seventeen years ago)

Calvin Harris ft Dizzee Rascal - Dance Wiv Me

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 8 July 2008 12:54 (seventeen years ago)

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