Words that should earn the author a slap

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You know those words, the ones in essays aboout how important/meaningless a particular artist is - the words that THOSE people use that they fully deserve a slap for it.

I submit:

PASTICHE

it makes me think of pistachio ice cream, which is something that also deserves a slap.
Yours?

― Davlo (Davlo), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

pistachio ice cream and slap combo is what dreams are made of.

― Honda (Honda), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

How embarassing, I used pastiche in one of my recent reviews. It's a put down, that word. You're saying the artist slapped together someone else's ideas.

I love pistachio ice cream. Davlo, you don't obviously. The word impasto reminds me of antepasto and pasta.

May I now nominate a word now? "Seminal". This is a lovely word that's generally overused in reviews.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"pretentious"

― xnelio (xnelio), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

It's weird, I like pistachios and I like ice cream, but the combination of the two is just bad to my taste.

I'm sure that you used pastiche in all the right ways. It's just one of those words that rubs me the wrong way...like "ouvre".

― Davlo (Davlo), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

seminal makes me think of semen.

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

and not without good reason

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

That's why I like it. It's a sexual metaphor. Oeuvre is an annoying word isn't it. And difficult to spell too!

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:53 (twenty-two years ago)

so who would you describe as seminal?

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

It sure is. I think I inadvertantly spelled "egg" in French.

― Davlo (Davlo), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha! Taht's Oueff, mate. But I may have spelt it wrong.

Gaz wrote: so who would you describe as seminal?

Well, Gaz, I think I'd probably describe Mudhoney as seminal. Or 13th Floor Elevators. Or Suicide. Or Shonen Knife. Only semi- influential rock/grunge/thrash/noise bands from either the USA or Japan are ever described as seminal.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

b-b-but they're not sexy! (well Shonen Knife may be)

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

what's the female "equivalent" of semen?

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"love juice"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

so shonen knife ain't seminal they're love juical?

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

HYPE

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I reckon, Gaz, they're love juicical. Which sounds kind of Jamaican.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"savvy"
"cul de sac"

― Jay K (Jay K), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

As it pertains to music, "relevant" (or "irrelevant").

― wl (wl), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"unlike most hip hop" the four words that presage any positive review of a hip hop record in the UK press always make me grind my teeth in fury...

― Jacob (Jacob), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i think 'sea change' has been overused lately. the new 'paradigm shift', i guess?
is it just 'cos that beck album planted it in everyone's head?

― Dallas Yertle (Dallas Yertle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:40 (twenty-two years ago)

'cheezy'

― dave q, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"cinematic" - but that was mostly in the trip hop days ...

― Jay K (Jay K), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 09:05 (twenty-two years ago)

haha 'cinematic'! ("soundtrack for nonexistant film" = "binding for unwritten book")

― dave q, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

he he ... good call, dave. i'll remember that one...

― Jay K (Jay K), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 09:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I get the red mist whenever I see the word "natch".

― Nathan W (Nathan Webb), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I may have used 'cinematic' too. More blushes. I think it might be impossible not to use this word when reviewing a Yello record.

Another phrase that need never be used again: "(count 'em)". Example: "There are eleven (count 'em) remixes of the track..."

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Or more irritating: spelling out numbers:
"There are 11 (eleven!) remixes of the track!"

― Jay K (Jay K), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"Puh-leeze!"

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

pastiche is not a put-down.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

ZEITGEIST

― alexfack (alexfack), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree with Kenan, 'pastiche' makes me think of kick drums and ronnie-spector-eye-make-up and is frequently synonymous with total joy.

― alexfack (alexfack), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Makes me think of Beck and the Beastie Boys. Good Beck and good Beastie Boys, I mean.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

SEMINAL!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"(insert band here) sounds just like (insert band here)" or variants thereof---when it's patently clear to anyone who's been reading reviews in recent time that someone is clearly being lazy, since EVERYONE has said the exact same thing already about a particular band (e.g., Interpol and Joy Division)! granted, it kinda wriggles its arse along the line between "annoying behavioural patterns" and "annoying words/phrases," but when enough people do it, it leans more towards the latter in my mind.

"seminal" is also incredibly irritating, as several already noted.

i might vote for the rather insidious proliferation of "profoundly." i mean, how 'profound' can something really be if nearly everything else is 'profound' right along with it?

on the other hand, i think 'folderol' ought to make a comeback. XD

― janni (janni), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

THANK YOU KENAN. "Pastiche" is a perfectly neutral word; any value judgements (positive or negative) read into its use say more about your personal preferences than the work you're describing.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

using the word "SONIK" to describe a band is retarded, the author should be held down by Kim Deal and Lee Renaldo and...(you fill in the blank).
Iggy Pop is seminal in several ways.

― Brandon Welch (Brandon Welch), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

female "equivalent" of semen = Quam

― Ian SPACK (Affectian), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

use other threads, please!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha i don't actually care (much), i just wanted to take the opportunity to do more ant-work in the eventual cross-linking between each conceivably related thing ever on this biiaatch

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"beeyotch" (or equiv)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"fun"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

(yes i hate fun)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

dumbest music journalism term

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

(just trying to help the cause)

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Using the words "drops on" instead of "is released on" when discussing the imminent arrival of a new album. This makes me want to eat my own hair and paint the walls with blood.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

'Paint the walls with blood!' My goodness, I am going to use that phrase at every available opportunity.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Apercus.

― Cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"Generic"!

I'm sick as hell of seeing people use "generic" as a synonym with "bad".

That being said, I'm probably the last person to whine about what people write in their reviews, considering I've written phrases like "superultramegaduperbunny technical death metal."
But that won't stop me!

"Sophomore effort" has a tendency to make my kneecaps run rampant in my legs. "Kvlt" and "br00tal" are pretty annoying too.

― Øystein Holm-Olsen (Øystein H-O), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, anything that is made up of a combination of letters and numbers is extremely annoying!

― Davlo (Davlo), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

What a review using all these terms might look like:

The new CD from "Paint The Walls With Blood", which drops on May 9th, is a sonik pastiche which unlike most hip hop, signals a sea change in the ouvre. Through a savvy use of seminal influences PTWWB manages to avoid the sophomore effort cul de sac into which so many other bands have driven.

While there is a generic feeling of fun, it never veers towards the pretentious cinematic folderol that has been suggested in the hype. The 11 (eleven!) tracks range from bluegrassy death core to operatic electro sludge. Of course, the overall effect is profound and smacks of a retro 80's-cum-retro-60's bubblegum Zeitgeist.

Many have critized PTWWB, saying that they sound just like Eat My Own Hair, but in answer to the question: Is it fun? Natch! This bee-yatch is way fun. Should you buy it? Puh-leeze!

― Davlo (Davlo), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

BAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

That's brilliant Davlo. I think Paint The Walls With Blood is the best band name... eva!!!

One thing though... call me an NME nostalgist, but I'm sorry you didn't use the phrase "sonic cathedral of sound" in their somewhere.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Just read it again. It really is brilliant. Distrubingly, it reads like Christgau.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks. Maybe I missed my true calling...
and I always wanted to be the next John Holmes...

― Davlo (Davlo), Thursday, 1 May 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

My apologies to Alex in NYC for appropriating PTTWB and EMOH. Of course, both of these bands play nothing but KJ covers.

― Davlo (Davlo), Thursday, 1 May 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

What!! When did it become May 1st? Where does this exist? It's only 9:23 PM on April 30th here in Rhode Island. Did I go into a time warp?

― Davlo (Davlo), Thursday, 1 May 2003 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Next person to use "undie" in my presence gets glowered at. If he* uses it disparagingly, he gets a special added bonus sneer and/or middle finger. If he also uses the term "backpacker" and insinuates that people who listen to underground hip-hop are lonely dorks who hate fun/dancing/sex then I will chloroform him, kidnap him, sequester him in my apartment's laundry room, duct-tape him to an uncomfortable chair and then it's FOUR HOURS OF CAN OX'S "RASPBERRY FIELDS" INSTRUMENTAL ON CONSTANT LOOP, MOTHERFUCKER

*it's always a "him"

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 3 May 2003 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"dark"

― rumplestiltskin, Saturday, 3 May 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Keenan, when I went to your link for pastiche, there was a link for the 'ten most popular sites for pastiche'. Strangely, I Love Music was not among them.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 3 May 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"earn [x] a slap"

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 3 May 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(That's a little joke.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 3 May 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"Pretentious" is unforgivable. It has no meaning when
applied to music.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Sunday, 4 May 2003 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

What, not even Emerson, Lake and Palmer?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 5 May 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

funniest thread in a long time ... do any of you mind if i start a band named 'eat my own hair'?

― Jay K (Jay K), Monday, 5 May 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

For a fee.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 5 May 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

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